Oh and since this is my personal friends access to my life: have I mentioned how happy my man makes me? i mean. i know its
Ups and Downs. and with us we're a roller coaster. and i know i shouldn't be so happy over the little things, but when i was
Sick last night crying in pain. and gross and whinny, he still came over. and he brought ibprophen cause i ran out. and he
asked if i wanted cough drops. and when he got here he kissed my forehead and let me lay on his lap. then he rubbed my head.
When the pain made me cry he just crawled in bed right next to me and wiped my tears as he told me "we" were invited to a
Super Bowl party and how he finally just "Officially" told the guys about us that night. i mean. It's like wow. us.
Mind you. i'm not ready to go "All in" with him just yet. but the gamble seems so win-win lately :-)
Oh. before i forget. www.brokenguitars.com .

myspace

okay people...I admit it. I'm addicted. My space. if you're not on it. well good. I don't need another reason to spend even more of my day on it...but wow....

anywhoo they have a blog section...and I'll admit,...i didn't think i'd use it...but I have...so by the power of "Cut and Paste" here it is....

The MYSPACE bloggings:

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

I paid money for that....
Current mood: Eveything feels better than yesterday

So...Last checked I was sick....Doc says I'm stressed. Doc says relax...I tell her, well I'm a teacher, the kids have had the flu and strep... "Can ya test me just to be sure?"...

Her response "I don't think it's necessary, but its your money."

Okay....So I go home thinking, it's all in my head. that i need to relax. So I do. I veg. I forget all my plans for the weekend,....(namely because I'm exhausted!!!!) So I think I'll rest....but I'll be better right? WRONG!

I go to work on Monday feeling like death ran me over with a 4x4 and then reversed over my weak body to scoff at me when I didn't die....

Doctor calls me at work on Monday after lunch...."Feeling better"--"Not really"

"Um...yeah, you should be at home...you have strep throat...I'll write you a prescription"

GRRRRRRRRR......SEE PEOPLE. I don't make it up. I really was sick...now aren't you glad I didn't expose you???

So, anywhooo.,...today I'm taking the day off. Drinking O.J.Doing the Dishes. cleaning my room. Watching way toooooooo much MTV and Style network.

My loved ones say to take a nap, but guess what...with anti-biotics in my sytem I actually feel like I can live past tommorrow.  YAY!

k--thats all. Hope everyone is enjoying their days.

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Saturday, January 28, 2006

Booooo on Doctors

So I have this headache that wont go away...

the doctor does her thing...open your mouth, roll your neck, diets, meds, blah....

She tells me I'm "stressed," I laugh. Um I'm in grad school. I run a national campaign for my organization, and I teach 6 and 7 years...Are you kidding I'm not stressed, I'm LIVING!

Anywhoo....I say "the headache" she says "Ibprophen"

No computer, reading, or exposure to loudness....

WOW--I'm so glad I live in the world....

I'll be vegging out and "de-stressing" this weekend :-)

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Sunday, January 15, 2006

hmmm. Need a Date????
Current mood: busy

So I need a Date. So if you're in New York City on March 18th, can stand sorority stuff, and would like to party...I have a ticket...hit me up.

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Friday, January 13, 2006

Too Funny
Current mood: amused

So, I'll probably get kicked off for this...but c'mon. Sense of humor at its best.... Something to consider when posting pictures....hmmmmm....

http://www.myspaceisgay.com/

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Sunday, January 01, 2006

Happy New Year to me....
Current mood: content

Blog as usual...Letters to No One

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So. i guess i'm no longer single. happy? um. sure. ecstatic. not really. just the natural progression of things i guess. :)
The meds i've been taking have really thrown me for a loop though. i've been crazy emotional. and i really am lucky to have a
man that knows how to deal with me. :-) truly. how did i get so lucky? oh yeah 3 years waiting for him!

Ladies and Gentlemen, I believe I have now entered into the so coined, "Real World." I state this for a few reasons. The
First and most painful, being the new forms of anguish my body has decided to produce.
It seems that invisible killer known as stress has decided to make himself known thru high blood pressure and muscular
tissue tightening...hmmm...around my brain. severe. eh. kinda. refered to as a severe tension headache. cause stress.
Now to the lay person and I prior to this fridays prescriptions, i would say, eh no big deal. what is the big deal however is
comparison of said headache and rare malidies such as menengitis,... an infection of brain fluid that we're still not ruling
out. likelihood, slim. consequences, apparently severe. hence perhaps my tru felt need to pursue medical attention. anywho,
the diagnosis. stress. the prescription. rest....After Seth, my luv came over and had me watch disney movies. he kissed me
and asked how he could make it better...we asked each other questions and then began the topic of future kids names. thomas is
nice. so as andrea.
Its just fun. probing. but realistic. eh. not there yet.

Perhaps i may never need to come undone again. :)

Damn. i do love my homelife. side note. j. miss and luv you. your abq clone. made me a cd. two words. the fray. two more.
Teddy Geiger. and two more for good measure. love it. :-)

When i love you. i tell you the truth. I say whats on my mind. despite the pain or complications it creates. its me. my nature

Despite the overwhelming success, I still have a remaining feeling of suffication.
"Not alone...and I wish I was...'Cause then I'd know, I was down because..."
Not him. He's perfect. He truly makes me happy
Just writing about him brings a smile to my face...so with everything up, why am i so down?
Maybe the calm? is too weird. lol....maybe i'm just tired. :) i do think i'm falling. cause now i'm all sleepy happy. knowing
a smile is easily found. sigh. :-)

Love him. just don
't know what to do with him.

I'm over my head.
I'm over my head.

Fuck me. i'm falling hard...and yeah, no safety nets.

Maybe not so Zen....

So, I have a feeling, I've been over-doing this Zen thing. Or maybe I haven't been doing the Zen thing enough...Point being: I just want life to be...."uncomplicated."

So, here it is, the quick the dirty, the seemingly uncomplicated?

Emotions make you run like at 2000% right?

So He's my fuel....

If you people haven't figured it out, I'm in the weirdest damn relationship ever..."dating" one guy....been dating the one guy....is he "the boyfriend"...no...can I "date"...uh...yeah, I think???

So anyway... He's been around for something like 4 years....yeah. thats long, but after about the last year, we've decided to "try to make it work"

HAHA we'll see...truth is, I don't know how to quit him....he's the worst drug ever....super highs and bad crashes....but I always go back....I think he wishes daily that we never met....

well maybe not now...cuz now, were making it work...I have to admit. I'm in heaven

okay. must go

 

 

Its 3:06am and i'm awake. and much like last night, i'm in my bed after an uneventful evening...I'm not gonna bother Ms V
anymore. i'm done having the duck conversations. am i single? Is he a duck? translation, is he a boyfriend. No. the answer is
NO. he is not a boyfriend. he probably never will be, and as his "friends" put it, the faster i get my eat head around it,
the faster we can both move on. and you know what, i Hate that conversation. I Hate talking about it now. i hate feeling I
am the only one having it. Fuck. as a matter a fact, let me just end it now. there. magic dust. done.

Its 8am. and I'm awake...worse, I went to bed on a Friday night at midnight. jeeze. am I old? ...some live music tonight. :)

I love movie night...In a word, DAMN!

Concert was great. i lost my hat, got a wallet. lost my hearing and got a towel, and my shirt signed.
My boy didn't come with, but me and the Ex had fun. best part, gotta admit, was being trusted by my guy to do that. :)
Movie night. tonight, and after the bloody finger, bruised arms, and busted ribs i got, some loving attention will be nice. :)

Amazing what sleep, crying, talks with the ex, talks with ms.v, shots, talking with "The Dad", (Timing, wow!), more talking
with my boy, can do... here's my resolve, the Tao has a way of making things work out. kinda zen, but I'm on chapter 2 of the
Te. things i'm considering...how much i truly love him as is. He is a tree. though functional as a table, and suitable as a
chair, He is a tree, providing shelter and shade and a place to rest, simply as a tree. :)
Good as is....i just turned down a guaranteed incredible night with The Dad...the Book of Answers says,
Fuck. It would. The Book states, "It is never too late to be what you might have been...Do not give up on your aims."

And so begins the end...the ex factor...his not mine. go figure.
I thought my crying was over. but as usual, life had other plans.
I really felt fine...but all of a sudden, i'm not fine... and it sucks. cause, deep down i know she'll always have him.

Can't tell if I beat the newspaper this morning, but I definately left a sleepy head rest on his pillow...
Truth be told, I've never left a guy before he wakes up...I thought I'd say goodbye when he heard me getting ready to leave.
(In the movies, the guy always wakes up when the girls leaving, or vice-a-versa.)
But, he didn't wake up, and he looked so peaceful, I didn't have the heart to wake him.
So,...I wrote him a note. (Isn't that proper protocol?)
I hope thats okay...i've never left without saying goodbye?
I suppose when there is every intention of seeing Him again, it doesn't matter. Right? :-\

So...if I had been dating a guy for about 2 weeks and I already gave him a key, I'd be nuts, right?
I suppose its a good thing i've known him for almost 3 and a half years then...
Tonights highlights recap: I ask Him out; exploring the individuals of us; intro to the bro's; planning the games closet. :-)
also, his ex isn't a threat followed by the giving of the key...details to follow, but suffice it to say, "we're good." :)
In sum, the ex and the pledge had plans, and I'm glad.

Whoa. Weirdest dream ever...Me hooking up with the President of My Ex Boyfriends fraternity...well, he was the president...
GOD it was weird. He still had his girlfriend and I was still dating my current, but there it was me kissing el Presidente...
On the plus side, there was a water bed, downside, he tasted like cigarettes. any ways. weird weird weird. maybe It's because
I want to drop gifts off at the house? I can't explain that one.
All in all, good dream though. lol. :-)

Home sweet home, and I'm exhausted. Happy tired, but exhausted. I tried to explain it to him when he worried about my not
sleeping. Simply put, when you know why you're tired. (i.e. my situation. i didn't leave from His house until 3:30am. )
The juice is worth the juice is worth the squeeze.

So week one of 6 weeks shows an interesting picture. Me. Him. Happy? Hmmm...who would have thought it?

what comes up, most come down. and cloud 9 is so up there...but can I just say...wow?

Its a new year...an old love...but wow. what a mix.
The break has been a fairy tale.
The dentist has come and gone. Along with the ex. but He remains...
I tell myself, what goes up must come down, and wait for the worst...but for the first time ever...i'm sleeping in his clothes
, or laying in his arms...I gotta admit this is new. fun.
What goes up, must come down, but until then...the view is great...