For the sake of my sanity. i just might move out. the lambda hotel is yeah now an everyday reminder of the non life i have.
I love my girls. i love my org. and its out of that love that i'm
missing work tomorrow. missed class tonight and am making C have to
deal with all of it
I'm going to shoot myself. --No you Jacks, not in that way and thats not funny. grr. anywhoo. want to grr.
And at 2:45 in the morning its miss v that brings drunkenmess home. in short rather than being annoyed i'm actually kinda
proud. tonight--separation aside--Has been pretty good. the chapter pulled together something impressive and all others were
equally "hot." kind words have been exchanged, and perhaps tomorrow without me playing Mommy, I can be more social. :)
A note on that, isn't it scary how well i play mom now. i come in slightly twisted, only to be straightened out by a 2yr old
man. now noteworthy again in the room i was in lay 3 men i've claimed to love, but in holding that kid, its kinda crazy to
know that thats the end result. well MY end result anyway
With those men in the room too i
contamplated the "what ifs."
With the Ex, perhaps i would have brought that kinda happiness to my life. with Someone else-lol, while i think he might be
a better-and i mean awesome- father than most, I never viewed him in that light. Then, well then there is my current. He whose
Mother has said she wants grandchildren in 3yrs and He who has planned for age 27. now shockingly enough this gives only one
One more year of delay than Mom. *Sigh* I would just be completing the Bar.
Lol. scary part?!? i'd be ready should I accidental ly be blessed. No worries though. For His sanity and need to be a "Single
Fraternity Boy" i'm probably the most reliable and intelligent woman regarding those kinda choices. Aka. He would kill me.
Funny thing...One night, after watching Will & Grace, I ask should 27 come around and were not together or with any one else,
would He be my Will and give me a chance to play Mommy for real. maybe another reason I love Him--HE actually said yes.
Now the irony is: neither one of up can commit to each other right now. but we somehow play grown up and talk about raising
the kids Catholic, with a swing set and tree house, and how santa and the Easter bunny both have their place. i guess in the
End, He is just my favorite make believe friend, and He indulges me in playing house. :)
LOL. right. okay. enough of that!!! we can't even Kiss in public! and yeah in order to have kids, you kinda have to be doing
--well someone, and something we just haven't and i can't perceive doing.
Okay tonight has been an overshare. perhaps i'll delete in the morning. until then drunkenness has subsided, and i'm content.
I hope my three men are. Deep down, I love each one still. Hopefully they know. Besitos.
proud. tonight--separation aside--Has been pretty good. the chapter pulled together something impressive and all others were
equally "hot." kind words have been exchanged, and perhaps tomorrow without me playing Mommy, I can be more social. :)
A note on that, isn't it scary how well i play mom now. i come in slightly twisted, only to be straightened out by a 2yr old
man. now noteworthy again in the room i was in lay 3 men i've claimed to love, but in holding that kid, its kinda crazy to
know that thats the end result. well MY end result anyway
With those men in the room too i
contamplated the "what ifs."
With the Ex, perhaps i would have brought that kinda happiness to my life. with Someone else-lol, while i think he might be
a better-and i mean awesome- father than most, I never viewed him in that light. Then, well then there is my current. He whose
Mother has said she wants grandchildren in 3yrs and He who has planned for age 27. now shockingly enough this gives only one
One more year of delay than Mom. *Sigh* I would just be completing the Bar.
Lol. scary part?!? i'd be ready should I accidental ly be blessed. No worries though. For His sanity and need to be a "Single
Fraternity Boy" i'm probably the most reliable and intelligent woman regarding those kinda choices. Aka. He would kill me.
Funny thing...One night, after watching Will & Grace, I ask should 27 come around and were not together or with any one else,
would He be my Will and give me a chance to play Mommy for real. maybe another reason I love Him--HE actually said yes.
Now the irony is: neither one of up can commit to each other right now. but we somehow play grown up and talk about raising
the kids Catholic, with a swing set and tree house, and how santa and the Easter bunny both have their place. i guess in the
End, He is just my favorite make believe friend, and He indulges me in playing house. :)
LOL. right. okay. enough of that!!! we can't even Kiss in public! and yeah in order to have kids, you kinda have to be doing
--well someone, and something we just haven't and i can't perceive doing.
Okay tonight has been an overshare. perhaps i'll delete in the morning. until then drunkenness has subsided, and i'm content.
I hope my three men are. Deep down, I love each one still. Hopefully they know. Besitos.
*sigh
So here it is confessions of a school teacher:
Were having a Sorror call our work so we can bounce early. Awful i know, but you know what it's Friday.
My girls will be bomb this year, I know it. Well hopefully, because they keep buiding me up, and I'm like all anxious.
Pre-refreshments at the Brick as is our way. I'll try to look human by this evening, until then. Nap?
K. Antibiotics are kicking in. I'm feeling and looking worse by the day though. Greek Events may kill me. Tried to support
Sisters as they rehearsed tonight only to cough up my lungs. but on the plus side the doctor has said i'm basically okay.
Medicine is actually to ward off the germs my body might be fighting but since i had the flu like 3 weeks ago what i'm facing
now is a weak immune system needing some help. so i guess we'll see. i'm already seeing a differance. hopefully it will be
gone by Sat. tomorrow would be nice but well we can't have everything.
Lol. speaking of which. Shirts are going to be replaced and i couldn't be happier. i'm not sure how i'm going to fix my
Current shirt, but i'll make it work
I'm still feeling bad about venting went wrong, but if you're forgiven you're forgiven and you shouldn't lose sleep over it,
right? right. anyway. i should do the sleep thing now. tomorrow comes quick and yeah. oh. everyone be sad. He can't wish me
good night anymore :(
Well good night universe, and good night Moon. ;-)
Sisters as they rehearsed tonight only to cough up my lungs. but on the plus side the doctor has said i'm basically okay.
Medicine is actually to ward off the germs my body might be fighting but since i had the flu like 3 weeks ago what i'm facing
now is a weak immune system needing some help. so i guess we'll see. i'm already seeing a differance. hopefully it will be
gone by Sat. tomorrow would be nice but well we can't have everything.
Lol. speaking of which. Shirts are going to be replaced and i couldn't be happier. i'm not sure how i'm going to fix my
Current shirt, but i'll make it work
I'm still feeling bad about venting went wrong, but if you're forgiven you're forgiven and you shouldn't lose sleep over it,
right? right. anyway. i should do the sleep thing now. tomorrow comes quick and yeah. oh. everyone be sad. He can't wish me
good night anymore :(
Well good night universe, and good night Moon. ;-)
8 Buddies online and not one i wish to speak with or who wishes to speak to me. but ah the codine
As soon as she writes, He starts.
As soon as she writes, He starts.
People are so lucky i don't run things
GRRRRR
and if you Didn't get it GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR again.
This is the third shirt and the third time I've complained. Except this Week I can finally do something about it.
******Hey Boys in Blue, good job in having enough respect for yourselves to not allow others to wear what you've earned.
I wish I could say the same but NO
But thats okay, Administrators will be hearing from me tommorow.
I'm officially having a "BF" and yes "I'm going to write a LETTER"
UGH. Agrivation. and then to make the Bob even more Bitter, They went and disrespected my Hermanos?????
HELL NO. I was about ready to throw down with like five girls in clovis for them talking innappropriately, but like a lady i held back....
but this....this is just wrong. PHI not PI you JAcks. i don't know bout the rest of you all but i learned my alphabet.
PI!!!!
UM. no. I'll take my ten dollars back, thank you. OH--- if I was that pres I would have every shirt recalled, but .....ugh.
Upset much? yeah just a bit. people are so lucky. I would be like down more throats then i already am. ugh.
okay this is venting but DAMN IT. HAVE SOME RESPECT!!!!!
grrrrrr.....
and if you Didn't get it GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR again.
This is the third shirt and the third time I've complained. Except this Week I can finally do something about it.
******Hey Boys in Blue, good job in having enough respect for yourselves to not allow others to wear what you've earned.
I wish I could say the same but NO
But thats okay, Administrators will be hearing from me tommorow.
I'm officially having a "BF" and yes "I'm going to write a LETTER"
UGH. Agrivation. and then to make the Bob even more Bitter, They went and disrespected my Hermanos?????
HELL NO. I was about ready to throw down with like five girls in clovis for them talking innappropriately, but like a lady i held back....
but this....this is just wrong. PHI not PI you JAcks. i don't know bout the rest of you all but i learned my alphabet.
PI!!!!
UM. no. I'll take my ten dollars back, thank you. OH--- if I was that pres I would have every shirt recalled, but .....ugh.
Upset much? yeah just a bit. people are so lucky. I would be like down more throats then i already am. ugh.
okay this is venting but DAMN IT. HAVE SOME RESPECT!!!!!
grrrrrr.....
So I'm sacred. It seems like dejavu.
I'm now parking at the house. The Pres is inviting me to social gatherings. and we both study now
I'm now parking at the house. The Pres is inviting me to social gatherings. and we both study now
Return from the Tourney
So, I never thought I could get into Volleyball, but I guess you learn something new everyday.
My Sis, is the captain of her Club, so I guess as a supportive Big Sister, it is my role to play, head cheerleader--a role, I found I was quite suited for.
SIDE OUT, GET THE ACE, TAKE THE KILL, and THE 25 Belongs To US, were all expressions I had never used before, but all seemed to be projecting fom my mouth at very high octives.
It was good times. --Not so good times, were the parents, bad ref calls, and cute boy that travelled with them being engaged. Awww, lets sigh! Awww... Okay, we're over it. :)
Speaking of cute El Paso ness--J WHERE ARE YOU!!!! Ring wearer, you around? hit that boy will you.
It's called a phone, pay the bill and use it.
Hee hee.
Oh, prophet called boys and girls. Yes. Mr. Navy himself will be gracing the New Mexico landscape with his presence mid April. Which means, drinking, drinking, and lets see, more drinking. Clothing and running into glass doors is optional.
Other men traveling to see mua. Mr. Marine will be coming down for his Spring Break, one week before mine, but ooh, fun times :)
What else? Presidents day tommorrow. Do we know what that means?
NO WORK!!!! ONE DAY. NO five year olds! can you believe it?
Ieah, I lie. I love my job. Speaking of which...I'm gonna end up adopting a famous NASCAR drivers kid.
Yeah, I'm not kidding. I love this boy. Little kid. Blonde, blue eyes. Takes after his dads good looks. Son of a millionaire, but he hugs me each morning. I think I see him more than his parents combined.
I think I'm gonna write to them and be like, "Hey, I love your son...can you buy me a house--no mansion needed--so that I can take care of him? Give me one of your cars so that we can go to and from school, and just enough money so that we can eat and watch movies. oh and will go see you in the 500, but can you get us VIP's, your son doesn't do well with noise, thanks."
Yeah, I keep telling myself, I can't just go adopting famous race car families kids.
LOL--go figure, I can't date a racer, but, I can have the son of one fall in love with me. Ha ha.
Anything else? Sorority-ness is working better than ever. I'm reaching my full potential as a leader, despite some problematic ish. But far better than the rest of the Greek Community, I hear. For all of ya'll, and thanks to the Facebook, their might be quite a bit of you that have access to this now, take care of yourselves and your community. I'll pray for ya'll. It's a ruff world out there, and insurance is a bitch after lawsuit.
Ay mas? hmmmm.....in Greek related events, The Ex's little bro, will actually be a Little Boy in Blue. Congrats to him and the fraternity that got him. LOL. He gives you all some good karma.
Hmmm. Greek week round the corner, and blah.
I've decided I'm gonna go the gym without my housemates. They suck and never go, so BOO on them. I finally lost my "married weight" and I aint about to get it back. :-P
hmmm. lets go down the list
Education: yeah I go to class
Money: hey I have a savings, who'd uv thunk it
/\: 3 to 4 prospectives, and I couldn't be happier on the selection
Social life: haha, yeah I have one
Love Life: um. yeah. to be continued...
AND NOW INCOMING PHONE CALL
NATIONAL PRESIDENT:: CONSIDER MY CHOPS BUSTED HAHA!
YEAH, YOU LADIES ARE MEAN!!!!
What else? nothing i got time for, as I need to meet my National President: ttfn
My Sis, is the captain of her Club, so I guess as a supportive Big Sister, it is my role to play, head cheerleader--a role, I found I was quite suited for.
SIDE OUT, GET THE ACE, TAKE THE KILL, and THE 25 Belongs To US, were all expressions I had never used before, but all seemed to be projecting fom my mouth at very high octives.
It was good times. --Not so good times, were the parents, bad ref calls, and cute boy that travelled with them being engaged. Awww, lets sigh! Awww... Okay, we're over it. :)
Speaking of cute El Paso ness--J WHERE ARE YOU!!!! Ring wearer, you around? hit that boy will you.
It's called a phone, pay the bill and use it.
Hee hee.
Oh, prophet called boys and girls. Yes. Mr. Navy himself will be gracing the New Mexico landscape with his presence mid April. Which means, drinking, drinking, and lets see, more drinking. Clothing and running into glass doors is optional.
Other men traveling to see mua. Mr. Marine will be coming down for his Spring Break, one week before mine, but ooh, fun times :)
What else? Presidents day tommorrow. Do we know what that means?
NO WORK!!!! ONE DAY. NO five year olds! can you believe it?
Ieah, I lie. I love my job. Speaking of which...I'm gonna end up adopting a famous NASCAR drivers kid.
Yeah, I'm not kidding. I love this boy. Little kid. Blonde, blue eyes. Takes after his dads good looks. Son of a millionaire, but he hugs me each morning. I think I see him more than his parents combined.
I think I'm gonna write to them and be like, "Hey, I love your son...can you buy me a house--no mansion needed--so that I can take care of him? Give me one of your cars so that we can go to and from school, and just enough money so that we can eat and watch movies. oh and will go see you in the 500, but can you get us VIP's, your son doesn't do well with noise, thanks."
Yeah, I keep telling myself, I can't just go adopting famous race car families kids.
LOL--go figure, I can't date a racer, but, I can have the son of one fall in love with me. Ha ha.
Anything else? Sorority-ness is working better than ever. I'm reaching my full potential as a leader, despite some problematic ish. But far better than the rest of the Greek Community, I hear. For all of ya'll, and thanks to the Facebook, their might be quite a bit of you that have access to this now, take care of yourselves and your community. I'll pray for ya'll. It's a ruff world out there, and insurance is a bitch after lawsuit.
Ay mas? hmmmm.....in Greek related events, The Ex's little bro, will actually be a Little Boy in Blue. Congrats to him and the fraternity that got him. LOL. He gives you all some good karma.
Hmmm. Greek week round the corner, and blah.
I've decided I'm gonna go the gym without my housemates. They suck and never go, so BOO on them. I finally lost my "married weight" and I aint about to get it back. :-P
hmmm. lets go down the list
Education: yeah I go to class
Money: hey I have a savings, who'd uv thunk it
/\: 3 to 4 prospectives, and I couldn't be happier on the selection
Social life: haha, yeah I have one
Love Life: um. yeah. to be continued...
AND NOW INCOMING PHONE CALL
NATIONAL PRESIDENT:: CONSIDER MY CHOPS BUSTED HAHA!
YEAH, YOU LADIES ARE MEAN!!!!
What else? nothing i got time for, as I need to meet my National President: ttfn
Edit Much
At my sister's volleyball tournament. She's score keeping, so it's okay if I write.
As a matter of fact, I should. Life is so fun and interesting.
Especially lately.
Now, this is going to be all over the place, but here it goes. :)
So, last night as per EVERY FRIDAY night, we're at the Brick.
So common is this, I know the bartender by name.
He always adds a little more, and in gratitude he is well tipped and provided with drinks by my hospitality. :)
So...At the brick with 2 minutes to drink at happy hour prices. (No sense buying drinks at full price when you can get them for 2 dollars.) I buy three rounds in advance-- a common Friday night practice Mr. Bartender introduced me into.
So, again... at the Brick. Liquor purchased, and life is good. Then, for the second time this week as I am re-asserting my ability to live ~single, happy, and non dependent on Him~ I see yet another Boy in Blue!!!
This time; none other than Someone i've been dying to catch up with.
Alas. Like the night just before he too is accompanied by a female.
Now, learning from Thursday I choose not to approach or greet.
Here's the story and the lesson learned:
Just the night before, I'm out at some GHETTO bar --praying no one will recognize me. I'm doing well, and with bills dropped and smiles exchanged at Security, the line that was 100+ people long and a 2 hour wait is suddenly shortened, disregarded or just simply ignored for the crew that I'm rolling with.
NICE-- to say the least.
So as I'm "Showing them how I do it" and "Backing my a$$ in to it," across the floor I catch a familiar eye. I walk over to show my remembrance and luv.
No sooner than I'm exchanging hello's and how've you beens than girl and her friend approach me.
The "who are you?" and "what are you doing talking to my man" look is given. And her being a big girl, yeah I'm scarred.
I explain, I'm an old house mate of long ago and how in a different life I was a friend of Her mans Fraternity house. I explain, "I love these boys" --I relay to Boy in Blue --9, that my numbers the same, I wish them all my love, and that if they need ANYTHING, they've always got me. Hugs were exchanged, and under the watchful eye of Big girl, I made my way to the dance floor, remembering how much I once felt like a family....Awww, lets all sigh now....
So there it is. Moral of the story: you can't go talking to boys you once knew...
In recent related events, got my stalker still keeping in touch.
Trip to clovis was bomb.
Winner of the hot body contest came and gave me his number, which was cute. Courage-- the dog? Brothers were sloppy over me. That was cute and "DISTURBING."
So back to this week...Jamaican boy wanted me at ghetto club on Thursday. Friday, I was being harassed by localness. I guess its good to know I'm still attractive to some.
Speaking of hottness: hot men at the volley tourn I'm at now, and I mean-- damn Gina.
If I didn't leave this morning at 3 this morning shuddering from utter satisfaction, I might be tempted.
Fact of the matter though, I'm about to pass out from exhaustion. My hair is still tangled...lol.
Besides, apparently-- despite this being an open relationship--as he bit my lower lip he made it a point to mention : "These belong to me."
Yeah, honey. They do--Along with my heart. Too bad He won't take ownership over that.
As a matter of fact, I should. Life is so fun and interesting.
Especially lately.
Now, this is going to be all over the place, but here it goes. :)
So, last night as per EVERY FRIDAY night, we're at the Brick.
So common is this, I know the bartender by name.
He always adds a little more, and in gratitude he is well tipped and provided with drinks by my hospitality. :)
So...At the brick with 2 minutes to drink at happy hour prices. (No sense buying drinks at full price when you can get them for 2 dollars.) I buy three rounds in advance-- a common Friday night practice Mr. Bartender introduced me into.
So, again... at the Brick. Liquor purchased, and life is good. Then, for the second time this week as I am re-asserting my ability to live ~single, happy, and non dependent on Him~ I see yet another Boy in Blue!!!
This time; none other than Someone i've been dying to catch up with.
Alas. Like the night just before he too is accompanied by a female.
Now, learning from Thursday I choose not to approach or greet.
Here's the story and the lesson learned:
Just the night before, I'm out at some GHETTO bar --praying no one will recognize me. I'm doing well, and with bills dropped and smiles exchanged at Security, the line that was 100+ people long and a 2 hour wait is suddenly shortened, disregarded or just simply ignored for the crew that I'm rolling with.
NICE-- to say the least.
So as I'm "Showing them how I do it" and "Backing my a$$ in to it," across the floor I catch a familiar eye. I walk over to show my remembrance and luv.
No sooner than I'm exchanging hello's and how've you beens than girl and her friend approach me.
The "who are you?" and "what are you doing talking to my man" look is given. And her being a big girl, yeah I'm scarred.
I explain, I'm an old house mate of long ago and how in a different life I was a friend of Her mans Fraternity house. I explain, "I love these boys" --I relay to Boy in Blue --9, that my numbers the same, I wish them all my love, and that if they need ANYTHING, they've always got me. Hugs were exchanged, and under the watchful eye of Big girl, I made my way to the dance floor, remembering how much I once felt like a family....Awww, lets all sigh now....
So there it is. Moral of the story: you can't go talking to boys you once knew...
In recent related events, got my stalker still keeping in touch.
Trip to clovis was bomb.
Winner of the hot body contest came and gave me his number, which was cute. Courage-- the dog? Brothers were sloppy over me. That was cute and "DISTURBING."
So back to this week...Jamaican boy wanted me at ghetto club on Thursday. Friday, I was being harassed by localness. I guess its good to know I'm still attractive to some.
Speaking of hottness: hot men at the volley tourn I'm at now, and I mean-- damn Gina.
If I didn't leave this morning at 3 this morning shuddering from utter satisfaction, I might be tempted.
Fact of the matter though, I'm about to pass out from exhaustion. My hair is still tangled...lol.
Besides, apparently-- despite this being an open relationship--as he bit my lower lip he made it a point to mention : "These belong to me."
Yeah, honey. They do--Along with my heart. Too bad He won't take ownership over that.
okay...wait...
Allright, as we all know i use this thing to vent. and now
i'm paying the price, the IMing has begun. you know it just sucks, that when
you love a person so much, the smallest things hurt more than anything.
what he'll probably never get,
is that i feel like it 's really expensive to feel so cheap
that waking up in his bed is the highlight of my day
that i never disresspect him and tell everyone he still sleeps on the floor
that i love him more than anything because he's my friend and said he always
would be,
i just wanted my friend back tonight, and sadly i felt like i was with a boy,
and there is a differance.. .sure i fall in love with , but as the song goes
"it's only temporary"
but i love my friend, and with that comes knowing he wants more,
more than what it seems i can offer. and i'm sad, and resentful, and all around
a bitter bob.
But, i guess it's my fault --again as the song goes-- thats what i get for
falling again.
don't misunderstand this, what i have with "him" is everything i
want. unfortunately, tonight just reminded me, that i'm not everything he
wanted, and well, i'm human and that hurts, and i get upset, but i'll get ovver
it.
i always do,
besides, by the sounds of it "her royal highness" will soon not
only take away my wednesday, but the part of his heart that i want-----
and now he's calling, and damn him, making it all better and making me smile
again,
damn you for making me love you. you always can make me find my smile. hate
you, love you more though
Okay. i'm better. he apologized. but didn't have to
More tomorrow when my internet doesn't suck. this is me able to sleep now... aka crashing
More tomorrow when my internet doesn't suck. this is me able to sleep now... aka crashing
how does this happen?
how is it that what is supposed to be a great night, ends up turning awful,
and not for any reason other than you realize, or rather I FINALLY REALIZE what i've known all along.
"Girl, He's really not that into you..."
and you know what, it's fine, i'm tired of fighting this,
he's an idiot, and maybe in 5 yrs He'll be writing me the letters, but you know what, whatever.
You know I don't even see him as my friend anymore, just a really bad boyfreind. and i never gave him that, again rather, he never gave me that. so have fun with "her royal highness." hope she's everything I'm not, because, I guess thats all you could want.
I'm sorry Your Valentine sucked, mine felt rather special, but then again....
no better words than those heard tonight.....
she's beautiful as usual with bruises on her ego
and
her killer instinct tells her to be aware of evil men.
and that's what you get for falling again;
you can never get him out of your head.
and that's what you get for falling again;
you can never get him out of your head.
...pretty girl is suffering while he confesses everything.
pretty soon she'll figure out: you can never get him out of your head.
it's the way that he makes you cry.
it's the way that he's in your mind.
it's the way that he makes you fall in love.
it's the way that he makes you feel.
it's the way that he kisses you.
it's the way that he makes you fall in love...
and not for any reason other than you realize, or rather I FINALLY REALIZE what i've known all along.
"Girl, He's really not that into you..."
and you know what, it's fine, i'm tired of fighting this,
he's an idiot, and maybe in 5 yrs He'll be writing me the letters, but you know what, whatever.
You know I don't even see him as my friend anymore, just a really bad boyfreind. and i never gave him that, again rather, he never gave me that. so have fun with "her royal highness." hope she's everything I'm not, because, I guess thats all you could want.
I'm sorry Your Valentine sucked, mine felt rather special, but then again....
no better words than those heard tonight.....
she's beautiful as usual with bruises on her ego
and
her killer instinct tells her to be aware of evil men.
and that's what you get for falling again;
you can never get him out of your head.
and that's what you get for falling again;
you can never get him out of your head.
...pretty girl is suffering while he confesses everything.
pretty soon she'll figure out: you can never get him out of your head.
it's the way that he makes you cry.
it's the way that he's in your mind.
it's the way that he makes you fall in love.
it's the way that he makes you feel.
it's the way that he kisses you.
it's the way that he makes you fall in love...
Ha ha every one miss me. sugarcult tonight
Omg. he lied. i feel so bad. but it almost makes it more special. i'll fill you all in later
Omg. he lied. i feel so bad. but it almost makes it more special. i'll fill you all in later
portions of what is said....
Heres an excert of what i'm writing my "stalker" who is quite cordial....
Dear old friend--
So you'll have to forgive me, i'm slightly buzzed as i write this and on four hours of sleep for the past two days...
grr, rigth now i am majorly stressed. massive work and school work to do, and no time to do it, and what am i doing???planning on going on a five hour road trip to party tommorrow, can we say "Not smart." i don't know why i do this to myself. it's 9:41 and not only am i ready to crash but, i ve already been to a bar and got jacked up. ugh, i hate myself right now, but such is the way i work sometimes.
so i got this letter yesterday , and i've been thinking all hard, and i've come to one conclusion: i was a major jack in high school, middle school, elementary school, and probably am now.
i always did pick from the wrong batch of guys, and just when i though i had one worth specding time on, he would be a jack and break my heart, hence why i probably became the jaded ass i can sometimes be.
i tried never to talk about people behind there back, but like the worst females i can be a chismosa, and the worst kind, the one thaat smiles when you see someone. i hope i've grown up from that, but somedays i cant even trust the people i love so, maybe not.
it seems everyone nowadays is in trouble, and i hope to stay out of it. A friend of mine used to tell me, when avoiding seeing me, that he was just trying to "stay out of trouble" --now frow a different vantage view i kinda understand what he means.
back in the day, say elementary, and like now i was a girl. the only thing that consumed me was education, popularity (then cheerleading, now the sorority) and boys. So--yeah, hear i thought i was growing up???
CR, does ring a bell. he was one of my girls cousins. Now she was a dope girl, I wonder what happened to that chica?
Jokers Club. Wizard. the crew. Serg---lol, yeah now that setting off all kind of memories, like, hmmm my first cigar. then...yeah the first time a guy told me not to kiss him on the lips for fear it would mean something---somethings, yeah you don't forget.
......
Yeah, okay..update aside from that--> i sent HIM to dinner with his parents, with last night still on him. I feel horrid and ashamed, thinking they might think some cheap scandal-ass girlfinally degraded their little boy. Worse, i'm scarred that He might think I intentionally meant to claim Him for my own. I didn't and i wouldn't, but deep down, i like knowing (even though it happened accidenttly) the girl that served me my long-island ice tea, can now clearly see (for the next day or two) while he doesn't have a ring, he's obviously a marked man.
in all fairness, picture day was today, it was raining, and i had 4 hours of sleep, and yeah, as i put makeup on to cover the rings under my eyes, i was glad. and even though my sweater covered my adventure from last night, i couldn't help smiling. other boys could have called me, but again, i was right where i wanted to be.
Dear old friend--
So you'll have to forgive me, i'm slightly buzzed as i write this and on four hours of sleep for the past two days...
grr, rigth now i am majorly stressed. massive work and school work to do, and no time to do it, and what am i doing???planning on going on a five hour road trip to party tommorrow, can we say "Not smart." i don't know why i do this to myself. it's 9:41 and not only am i ready to crash but, i ve already been to a bar and got jacked up. ugh, i hate myself right now, but such is the way i work sometimes.
so i got this letter yesterday , and i've been thinking all hard, and i've come to one conclusion: i was a major jack in high school, middle school, elementary school, and probably am now.
i always did pick from the wrong batch of guys, and just when i though i had one worth specding time on, he would be a jack and break my heart, hence why i probably became the jaded ass i can sometimes be.
i tried never to talk about people behind there back, but like the worst females i can be a chismosa, and the worst kind, the one thaat smiles when you see someone. i hope i've grown up from that, but somedays i cant even trust the people i love so, maybe not.
it seems everyone nowadays is in trouble, and i hope to stay out of it. A friend of mine used to tell me, when avoiding seeing me, that he was just trying to "stay out of trouble" --now frow a different vantage view i kinda understand what he means.
back in the day, say elementary, and like now i was a girl. the only thing that consumed me was education, popularity (then cheerleading, now the sorority) and boys. So--yeah, hear i thought i was growing up???
CR, does ring a bell. he was one of my girls cousins. Now she was a dope girl, I wonder what happened to that chica?
Jokers Club. Wizard. the crew. Serg---lol, yeah now that setting off all kind of memories, like, hmmm my first cigar. then...yeah the first time a guy told me not to kiss him on the lips for fear it would mean something---somethings, yeah you don't forget.
......
Yeah, okay..update aside from that--> i sent HIM to dinner with his parents, with last night still on him. I feel horrid and ashamed, thinking they might think some cheap scandal-ass girlfinally degraded their little boy. Worse, i'm scarred that He might think I intentionally meant to claim Him for my own. I didn't and i wouldn't, but deep down, i like knowing (even though it happened accidenttly) the girl that served me my long-island ice tea, can now clearly see (for the next day or two) while he doesn't have a ring, he's obviously a marked man.
in all fairness, picture day was today, it was raining, and i had 4 hours of sleep, and yeah, as i put makeup on to cover the rings under my eyes, i was glad. and even though my sweater covered my adventure from last night, i couldn't help smiling. other boys could have called me, but again, i was right where i wanted to be.
interesting
Ever get an email from someone who obviously knows you and then you're
not quite sure if you know them...Such is the case tahis evening,
allthough i must say the subject title: "Old friend from the
grave" is slightly un-nerving. For the record I am restating:
although I am very cute, and well mannered, this dillusion is just in
my head. All stalkers, and would be weirdos should leave me alone. Got
it? NO STALKERS. NO WEIRDOS, Have had enough of them in my life.
So quick update: yeah I'm still high. I'll come down, and it'll be sad, but till then, yeah, just let me be happy. It's been so long, I deserve it. (Don't you think?)
Playa Playa asking for his, and I ask for mine, the mutual game exchange is still so laughable.
J-who ever wrote me tonight is from EPyT, aka your barrio, so if s/he's nuts, ya better get my back. PS. where r u?????? comment? number? something?
So quick update: yeah I'm still high. I'll come down, and it'll be sad, but till then, yeah, just let me be happy. It's been so long, I deserve it. (Don't you think?)
Playa Playa asking for his, and I ask for mine, the mutual game exchange is still so laughable.
J-who ever wrote me tonight is from EPyT, aka your barrio, so if s/he's nuts, ya better get my back. PS. where r u?????? comment? number? something?
Going on three hours...
So went to sleep at 5am, woke up at 7am, meetings from 9-4pm, slept an
hour around 7pm, and when HE called at 8pm, after a whole afternoon of
sleeping in, all I could do is smile. Somehow despite getting only 3
hours of combined sleep in the past 24, I'm feeling so happy. What can
I say guys-- He's worth it. And I know, I know, "I'm head-sprung" as
the Marine would put it, and "in-check" as Playa Playa calls it, but
you know what: He calls me at 8 "just because." and yeah there's "no
commitment." J yell at me if need be, but damn. (HEY CALL ME--I don't
have your new number)
So....Yeah, it's disgusting, it's 9 months in the making but ya know, in one moment everything just became "right."
From the girl next door, "Just go with it"
So....Yeah, it's disgusting, it's 9 months in the making but ya know, in one moment everything just became "right."
From the girl next door, "Just go with it"
Respose to my Marine
My Marine writes:
A Marine as seen by...
Himself:
A handsome, buff, highly trained professional killer
and female idol who carries a finely honed K-Bar,
wears a crisp 8-point cammie cover and is always on
time due to the absolute reliability of his Seiko
digital watch.
His Wife:
A stinking, gross, foul mouthed lovable bum who
arrives back at home every few months with a seabag
full of dirty utilities, a huge Seiko watch, an
oversized knife, a filthy hat and hornier then hell.
Headquarters Marine Corps:
A drunken, brawling, HMMWV-stealing, woman-corrupting
"cumshaw artist" who wears a Seiko watch, an
unauthorized K-Bar and a squared-away cover.
His Commanding Officer:
A fine specimen of a drunken, brawling,
HMMWV-stealing, woman-corrupting bullshitter with an
incredibly accurate Seiko watch, a finely honed razor
sharp K-Bar and a salty cammie cover.
What others have said:
Congress:
Marines are overpaid, overrated tax burdens who are
indispensable since they volunteer to go anywhere at
any time and kill whoever they're told to kill, as
long as they can drink, brawl, steal HMMWVs, corrupt
women and sing dirty songs while wearing cammies,
oversized knives, Seiko watches and really screwed-up
8-point covers that don't look like the Army's.
Ronald Reagan, former President of the United States:
"Some people live an entire lifetime and wonder if
they've ever made a difference in the world. Marines
don't have that problem."
General Douglas MacArthur, US Army:
". . . these Marines have the swagger, confidence and
hardness that must have been in Stonewall Jackson's
Army of the Shenandoah. They remind me of the
Coldstream Guards at Dunkirk."
Admiral Chester Nimitz, US Navy, on the Marine Corps'
battle for Iwo Jima:
"Uncommon valor was a common virtue"
General Douglas MacArthur, US Army:
"I have just returned from visiting the Marines at the
front. There is not a finer fighting organization in
the world!"
LtCol T R Fehrenbach, USA, in "This Kind of War":
"The man who will go where his colors go without
asking, who will fight a phantom foe in a jungle or a
mountain range, and who will suffer and die in the
midst of incredible hardship, without complaint, is
still what he has always been, from Imperial Rome to
sceptered Britain to democratic America. He is the
stuff of which legends are made. His pride is his
colors and his regiment, his training hard and
thorough and coldly realistic, to fit him for what he
must face, and his obedience is to his orders. As a
legionnaire, he held the gates of civilization for the
classical world ... today he is called United States
Marine."
An Anonymous Canadian Citizen:
"Marines are about the most peculiar breed of human
beings I have ever witnessed. They treat their service
as if it was some kind of cult, plastering their
emblem on almost everything they own, making
themselves up to look like insane fanatics with
haircuts so short as to be ungentlemanly, worshipping
their Commandant as if he was a god, and making weird
animal noises like a band of savages. They'll fight
like rabid dogs at the drop of a hat just for the sake
of a little action and are the cockiest SOBs I've ever
known. Most have the foulest mouths and drink well
beyond man's normal limits, but their high spirits and
sense of brotherhood set them apart and, generally
speaking, of the United States Marines with whom I've
come in contact, are the most professional warriors
and the finest men I've had the pleasure to meet. "
General John J "Black Jack" Pershing, US Army:
"The deadliest weapon in the world is a Marine and his
rifle! "
General Mark Clark, US Army:
"The more Marines I have around the better I like it!
"
General Johnson, US Army:
"I can never again see a United States Marine without
experiencing a feeling of reverence. "
Richard Harding Davis, war correspondent (1885):
"The Marines have landed, and the situation is well in
hand."
A Marine Drill Instructor at Parris Island:
"Did you come here just to spoil my beloved Corps,
maggot?"
A boot camp weapons coach:
"To a Marine, happiness is a belt-fed weapon."
LtCol Oliver North, USMC (ret):
"The only people I like beside my wife and kids are
Marines."
MajGen J N Mattis, CG, 1st MarDiv - Iraq, March 2003:
"You are part of the world's most feared and trusted
fighting force. Engage your brain before you engage
your weapon. Share your courage with each other as we
enter theuncertain terrain north of our Line of
Departure. Keep faith in your comrades on your left
and right and Marine Air overhead. Fight with a happy
heart and a strong spirit. For the mission's sake,
our country's sake and the sake of the men who carried
the Division's colors in past battles -- who fought
for life and never lost their nerve -- carry out your
mission and keep your honor clean. Demonstrate to the
world there is 'No Better Friend, No Worse Enemy' than
a United States Marine."
Eleanor Roosevelt - 1945:
"The Marines I have seen around the world have the
cleanest bodies, the filthiest minds, the highest
morale, and the lowest morals of any group I have ever
seen. Thank God for the United States Marine Corps."
An Anonymous US Marine:
"I recently attended a Kansas City Chiefs football
game at Arrowhead Stadium. It was their annual
Veteran's Day tribute so members of all the services
were asked to participate in the festivities.
A color guard for the National Anthem was provided by
the Buffalo Soldiers Association. They looked very
sharp in their 1800s-era US Army Cavalry uniforms.
Following that, the Navy parachute team put on an
impressive display that brought cheers from the 78,000
football fans in attendance. Shortly thereafter, we
were treated to the truly awesome sight of an Air
Force B-2 Spirit stealth bomber flyover as well as a
few other aircraft. All of these sights -- but
especially the B-2 -- were truly appreciated by the
crowd who let it be known by their cheers.
I expected that was all we would see of the US
Military that day. I thought we would see a high
school or college marching band during half-time. Few
watch those shows anyway because they have to go to
the head or grab another beer during the intermission.
Shortly before half-time, however, I looked down on
the sidelines near the end zone and saw the Marine
Corps' Silent Drill Team forming up. As the half-time
show started, the players left the field and the
announcer came on the public address system to advise
us of the Drill Team's performance. Many of us
Marines have seen these performances in the past and
they're always awe-inspiring. I didn't expect that the
large civilian crowd of football fans would be as
appreciative of the Drill Team as they had been of the
high-tech B-2 or the daring of the Navy parachute
team. However, I was on the edge of my seat. As the
Drill Team marched onto the field, the crowd grew
noticeably quieter. Soon, the team was fully into
their demonstration. The stadium was absolutely
silent.
From high in the stands' upper reaches where my seats
were, I was able to hear the "snap" and "pop" of hands
striking rifles. Both big screen "Jumbotron"
scoreboards displayed close ups of the Marines as they
went through their routine. As they completed their
demonstration and lined up for the inspection, the
crowd began cheering as the Marines twirled their
rifles in impossible fashion. Then came the
inspection. Again, the crowd fell silent and watched
intently as rifles were thrown, caught, twirled,
inspected and thrown some more. Each well-practiced
feat brought a "wow" or "did you see that?" from those
sitting around me.
I sat there in silent pride as I watched my brother
Marines exit the field. A young girl behind me asked
her mother a question about how the Marines learn to
do the things they just did. The mother replied, "They
practice long and hard and they're Marines; they're
the best."
Well Babydoll, you know as well as I do how long that dream has been out of my sight but, I tell ya what...
I still have a decal on my old truck, and I can still remember the verses clear...
Devildogs, Shocktroops,
Blood-Sucking War Machines,
Ready to Fight, Ready to Kill,
Ready to Die but Never Will,
Marines make the Blood Flow,
Blood Makes the Grass Grow-
Semper Fi Do or Die! oo-Rah!!
You never leave whats in your heart...Seper Fidelis.
A Marine as seen by...
Himself:
A handsome, buff, highly trained professional killer
and female idol who carries a finely honed K-Bar,
wears a crisp 8-point cammie cover and is always on
time due to the absolute reliability of his Seiko
digital watch.
His Wife:
A stinking, gross, foul mouthed lovable bum who
arrives back at home every few months with a seabag
full of dirty utilities, a huge Seiko watch, an
oversized knife, a filthy hat and hornier then hell.
Headquarters Marine Corps:
A drunken, brawling, HMMWV-stealing, woman-corrupting
"cumshaw artist" who wears a Seiko watch, an
unauthorized K-Bar and a squared-away cover.
His Commanding Officer:
A fine specimen of a drunken, brawling,
HMMWV-stealing, woman-corrupting bullshitter with an
incredibly accurate Seiko watch, a finely honed razor
sharp K-Bar and a salty cammie cover.
What others have said:
Congress:
Marines are overpaid, overrated tax burdens who are
indispensable since they volunteer to go anywhere at
any time and kill whoever they're told to kill, as
long as they can drink, brawl, steal HMMWVs, corrupt
women and sing dirty songs while wearing cammies,
oversized knives, Seiko watches and really screwed-up
8-point covers that don't look like the Army's.
Ronald Reagan, former President of the United States:
"Some people live an entire lifetime and wonder if
they've ever made a difference in the world. Marines
don't have that problem."
General Douglas MacArthur, US Army:
". . . these Marines have the swagger, confidence and
hardness that must have been in Stonewall Jackson's
Army of the Shenandoah. They remind me of the
Coldstream Guards at Dunkirk."
Admiral Chester Nimitz, US Navy, on the Marine Corps'
battle for Iwo Jima:
"Uncommon valor was a common virtue"
General Douglas MacArthur, US Army:
"I have just returned from visiting the Marines at the
front. There is not a finer fighting organization in
the world!"
LtCol T R Fehrenbach, USA, in "This Kind of War":
"The man who will go where his colors go without
asking, who will fight a phantom foe in a jungle or a
mountain range, and who will suffer and die in the
midst of incredible hardship, without complaint, is
still what he has always been, from Imperial Rome to
sceptered Britain to democratic America. He is the
stuff of which legends are made. His pride is his
colors and his regiment, his training hard and
thorough and coldly realistic, to fit him for what he
must face, and his obedience is to his orders. As a
legionnaire, he held the gates of civilization for the
classical world ... today he is called United States
Marine."
An Anonymous Canadian Citizen:
"Marines are about the most peculiar breed of human
beings I have ever witnessed. They treat their service
as if it was some kind of cult, plastering their
emblem on almost everything they own, making
themselves up to look like insane fanatics with
haircuts so short as to be ungentlemanly, worshipping
their Commandant as if he was a god, and making weird
animal noises like a band of savages. They'll fight
like rabid dogs at the drop of a hat just for the sake
of a little action and are the cockiest SOBs I've ever
known. Most have the foulest mouths and drink well
beyond man's normal limits, but their high spirits and
sense of brotherhood set them apart and, generally
speaking, of the United States Marines with whom I've
come in contact, are the most professional warriors
and the finest men I've had the pleasure to meet. "
General John J "Black Jack" Pershing, US Army:
"The deadliest weapon in the world is a Marine and his
rifle! "
General Mark Clark, US Army:
"The more Marines I have around the better I like it!
"
General Johnson, US Army:
"I can never again see a United States Marine without
experiencing a feeling of reverence. "
Richard Harding Davis, war correspondent (1885):
"The Marines have landed, and the situation is well in
hand."
A Marine Drill Instructor at Parris Island:
"Did you come here just to spoil my beloved Corps,
maggot?"
A boot camp weapons coach:
"To a Marine, happiness is a belt-fed weapon."
LtCol Oliver North, USMC (ret):
"The only people I like beside my wife and kids are
Marines."
MajGen J N Mattis, CG, 1st MarDiv - Iraq, March 2003:
"You are part of the world's most feared and trusted
fighting force. Engage your brain before you engage
your weapon. Share your courage with each other as we
enter theuncertain terrain north of our Line of
Departure. Keep faith in your comrades on your left
and right and Marine Air overhead. Fight with a happy
heart and a strong spirit. For the mission's sake,
our country's sake and the sake of the men who carried
the Division's colors in past battles -- who fought
for life and never lost their nerve -- carry out your
mission and keep your honor clean. Demonstrate to the
world there is 'No Better Friend, No Worse Enemy' than
a United States Marine."
Eleanor Roosevelt - 1945:
"The Marines I have seen around the world have the
cleanest bodies, the filthiest minds, the highest
morale, and the lowest morals of any group I have ever
seen. Thank God for the United States Marine Corps."
An Anonymous US Marine:
"I recently attended a Kansas City Chiefs football
game at Arrowhead Stadium. It was their annual
Veteran's Day tribute so members of all the services
were asked to participate in the festivities.
A color guard for the National Anthem was provided by
the Buffalo Soldiers Association. They looked very
sharp in their 1800s-era US Army Cavalry uniforms.
Following that, the Navy parachute team put on an
impressive display that brought cheers from the 78,000
football fans in attendance. Shortly thereafter, we
were treated to the truly awesome sight of an Air
Force B-2 Spirit stealth bomber flyover as well as a
few other aircraft. All of these sights -- but
especially the B-2 -- were truly appreciated by the
crowd who let it be known by their cheers.
I expected that was all we would see of the US
Military that day. I thought we would see a high
school or college marching band during half-time. Few
watch those shows anyway because they have to go to
the head or grab another beer during the intermission.
Shortly before half-time, however, I looked down on
the sidelines near the end zone and saw the Marine
Corps' Silent Drill Team forming up. As the half-time
show started, the players left the field and the
announcer came on the public address system to advise
us of the Drill Team's performance. Many of us
Marines have seen these performances in the past and
they're always awe-inspiring. I didn't expect that the
large civilian crowd of football fans would be as
appreciative of the Drill Team as they had been of the
high-tech B-2 or the daring of the Navy parachute
team. However, I was on the edge of my seat. As the
Drill Team marched onto the field, the crowd grew
noticeably quieter. Soon, the team was fully into
their demonstration. The stadium was absolutely
silent.
From high in the stands' upper reaches where my seats
were, I was able to hear the "snap" and "pop" of hands
striking rifles. Both big screen "Jumbotron"
scoreboards displayed close ups of the Marines as they
went through their routine. As they completed their
demonstration and lined up for the inspection, the
crowd began cheering as the Marines twirled their
rifles in impossible fashion. Then came the
inspection. Again, the crowd fell silent and watched
intently as rifles were thrown, caught, twirled,
inspected and thrown some more. Each well-practiced
feat brought a "wow" or "did you see that?" from those
sitting around me.
I sat there in silent pride as I watched my brother
Marines exit the field. A young girl behind me asked
her mother a question about how the Marines learn to
do the things they just did. The mother replied, "They
practice long and hard and they're Marines; they're
the best."
Well Babydoll, you know as well as I do how long that dream has been out of my sight but, I tell ya what...
I still have a decal on my old truck, and I can still remember the verses clear...
Devildogs, Shocktroops,
Blood-Sucking War Machines,
Ready to Fight, Ready to Kill,
Ready to Die but Never Will,
Marines make the Blood Flow,
Blood Makes the Grass Grow-
Semper Fi Do or Die! oo-Rah!!
You never leave whats in your heart...Seper Fidelis.
just when i think im gonna tell a story, HE IM's....and then what....like an idiot, there i go
no particuliar reason for this song, doesnt express my feelings or emotions towards anyone, just found it, liked it, thought i'd throw it up here, two hours later, one fight and make up session later, we're still IM'ing
Highlife
Counting Crows
Album: This Desert Life
All my friends got flowers in their eyes
But I got none this season
All of last years blooms have gone and died
Time doesn't give a reason
Hey baby, do you ask yourself sometimes
What you need to be forgiven?
Everything that you've ever done wrong
Is the reason that I'm driven
Straight to you
Waiting here for you
Wanting to tell you
How I get my ends and my beginnings mixed up too
Just the way you do
Thought if I told you
You might want to stay for just another day or two
Waiting for the trains that just never come
Beginning to believe in
the disappearing nature of the people we have been
We have begun to change into the worst kind of people
So unkind
Oh apologies, no apologies, this apology
Doesn't describe the way it feels to feel for you
Waiting here for you
Wanting to tell you
How I find myself slowly disappearing too
Just the way you do
Thought if I told you
You might want to help me to remain with you
I just wanna stay for a little while
I wanna stay for a little while
There's a night life falling down on me
I just feel like a change
Beneath the sun in the summer,
a sea of flowers won't bloom without the rain
But oh, this desert life, this high life
Here at the dying end of the day
I wasn't made for this scene baby
But I was made in this scene
And baby it's just my way
I don't wanna go home alone, I wanna come on home to you
Waiting here for you
Wanting to tell you
How I line my sky with all the silver I can use
Just the way you do
Thought if I told you
no particuliar reason for this song, doesnt express my feelings or emotions towards anyone, just found it, liked it, thought i'd throw it up here, two hours later, one fight and make up session later, we're still IM'ing
Highlife
Counting Crows
Album: This Desert Life
All my friends got flowers in their eyes
But I got none this season
All of last years blooms have gone and died
Time doesn't give a reason
Hey baby, do you ask yourself sometimes
What you need to be forgiven?
Everything that you've ever done wrong
Is the reason that I'm driven
Straight to you
Waiting here for you
Wanting to tell you
How I get my ends and my beginnings mixed up too
Just the way you do
Thought if I told you
You might want to stay for just another day or two
Waiting for the trains that just never come
Beginning to believe in
the disappearing nature of the people we have been
We have begun to change into the worst kind of people
So unkind
Oh apologies, no apologies, this apology
Doesn't describe the way it feels to feel for you
Waiting here for you
Wanting to tell you
How I find myself slowly disappearing too
Just the way you do
Thought if I told you
You might want to help me to remain with you
I just wanna stay for a little while
I wanna stay for a little while
There's a night life falling down on me
I just feel like a change
Beneath the sun in the summer,
a sea of flowers won't bloom without the rain
But oh, this desert life, this high life
Here at the dying end of the day
I wasn't made for this scene baby
But I was made in this scene
And baby it's just my way
I don't wanna go home alone, I wanna come on home to you
Waiting here for you
Wanting to tell you
How I line my sky with all the silver I can use
Just the way you do
Thought if I told you