Ahhh!!!!

Um ditching class and both hate it and love it. Wasn't feeling to great (migraine just barely avoided) and crashed. Funny thing about this, is I fell asleep with J-low here at my place. Well, interesting, not that big a deal, EXCEPT, 1. She thought she was locked in, and feeling so bad for me, just let me sleept. 2. Rather than wake me to let her out, she wakes me up with the comment: "Um...Girl....Mr. Foodstuff is on his way...can you tell me where your keys are? and um....he'll be here soon, you might want to get dressed"

Now--I felt bad this morning. So--I knew I wanted to be confortable. Rather than throw on sweats like a normal girl. I grab last nights p.j's. Yeah--that consisted of black victoria secret silkness--J-lows a big girl, I figured, no worries. But yeah, to know a six foot something, I've never had in my house, let alone a guy seeing my sister!!! Yeah, not something I wanted viewed.

Well she's a dork, but now I'm up. With the cute white sweats I Should have put on originally, and I'm waiting for them to stop "talking." I need a life.

On a job note: Interview this morning was a waste of time. Trainings to be had next week. We all are still praying for my CEP job, Right???? YES WE ARE!!!!

On a personal note: I feel like a looser. I go through these stages of  whining: "He doesn't even know how much I do....How much I could...Do you think he ever...? I bet hes never cried..."

then---Well then I get hungry...and rather than being all stupid and call, text, im, or do anything I've begun to constitute as my "bothering" --I reflect on Some Pooh Taoism: Just be....that, and he said don't worry...so i tell my head, don't worry. I tell my stomach to hold on, and I tell J-low, yeah--well i still tell her and everyone else nothing.

it'll happen..I'll be good for someone...I'm just waiting my turn