Shaking it off....

I love mornings where it just feels like a fresh start. I’ve been in this miserable little town for 3 weeks now, and I really have done nothing productive for myself or any one else. But this morning I really do feel better. The energy I had when I left seems to be coming to me. I feel like I’m finally coming back up from the downs of the rollercoaster.

 

What’s great is the mood uplift doesn’t have to do with anyone or anything in particular. I didn’t wake up to great song, or have my favorite breakfast. Actually, its father’s day and there will be a minimal amount of attention given to me, which might be surprisingly refreshing.

 

I’ve actually been avoiding some calls and some emails, but I think I’m ready to get back to that “real” world. Well, it’s only as real as you make it, but I’m ready. My mind started clearing, and the ADD side of my brain was triggered with every desire of what I want to do while I’m away in this town. How to utilize this time, how to better myself for myself. Books I want to read, the Spanish I want to learn, abs I want to tighten, a tan I want to maintain, the sorority I want to expand, the accounts I want balanced, the concert I want to see, the hair (thanks to my stylist) I need to grow out, the law schools I need to apply to, the tobacco I need to smoke, the relationships I need to reestablish in my life, my tattoo that needs to be fixed, the travel I want to get done, the laundry that needs to get folded, and yes those damn boxes sorted through.

 

Seems like a lot, but this is the break. This is when I’m doing it all for me. Not the grad office, not for sister accountability or how I do, or don’t, look in someone’s eyes. Just me; and it’s so refreshing to live just for you. I’ll admit, my thoughts and heart are on wander mode; wandering to one guy, in one place. But that’s okay. He knows it and I want him to know it, and know I’m okay. I want him to be okay. I keep thinking of one night when he said, “If just everyone felt the same way I did”—had the drive, something like that, the words escape me. But now I get it. I mean really when you feel this way, sleep is really just in the way sometimes, and it is a feeling you wish everyone had.

 

Well, even if my moments went wrong, and my timing was off, all I can do is smile.