As it was said,

HERES TO DISAPPOINTING OTHERS.....

"HE" decided to be pissed at me....
and you know what...I'm cool with that....
you know why?
Because even if my new guy isn't my "boyfriend"--which unlike the commit-a-phobia HE had, --I could call my new love that if I wanted to, and not only would my "boyfriend" not mind, he'd probably smile at the mention of it...
hmmmm,.....
funny...
When a guys into you, they don't mind being your boyfriend!!!!!

Where the Fuck have I heard that one?
You know what, Ms. V. and everyother girl that ever knew about HIM, was right....
what a waste of time.

and now....I'm not going to wait one more moment to be who I truly am.

I'm intense. I'm complicated. I'm highly motivated. Absorbed in an organization that barely acknowledges me....but you know what...
"the new guy"===>
he gets that.
he likes my intensity
he likes that I'm multi-facseted.
and above all, he realizes, lack of communication in no way signals lack of emotion.

hmmm. there it is J...if I ever though that trigger wasn't pulled, well, consider it done.
Thats an emotional rollercoaster I don't have to get on again....it got me sick.

and now...I wasn't pissed,....but that attitude...yeah...oooh....you're lucky you don't read this honey....cuz, you know what....
you know what....you're not even worth the time to be angry...
I've got a guy who wants to see ME happy...
wow. I think I'm gonna try that...
*deep breath*
right now.

yeah....
(*I remember his smile, I remember him telling me i deserve to always be smiling)
right now....

wow, and just that quick....lol. the memories will take over, and god I hope they last.
:)
If all goes well tonight, 15 days until we can make new memories.

whoever says to give this feeling up, obviously has never had it...don't bring me down world....i won't let you...i deserve to smile. and  I'm gonna....lol....
yeah....he's that good.