Avoid me, Avoid Drama? Nah.....

Someone should rename this journal, Ramblings of a Bored College Girl...the boring saga of a 23 yr olds life as she goes through boys, school, unemployment, hmmm...life.  It's a trailor for a Hallmark movie!

Yes one day I might get over it. But, until then, for some reason I feel inclined to share my boredom and random tangents with the cyber world and pretend someone, somewhere might get me. (If they do, they're probably psycho! Don't look for me pyscho! I don't know you! --Sorry paranoia there.)

So Class Schedules, Rush schedules, Sorority Buisness Schedules, Boys Schedules, I'm really glad I have a good personal organizer. But amist all the hours and dates. Why do I have to get sick? I mean, 1st week of class and I'm sick? this is ridiculous! Worse thing is, I know whom I've caught this plague from. Oh yes. I'm so blaming you. If you're reading this, this is me, sticking my tounge out at you! blahhhhh.

I feel blah. In a calm kinda way though. I avoided some Lambda-ness this morning, only because I was determinned to make myself rest this bug off, but tommorow it should be gone. Good thing because class is today and tabling is tommorow.  How crazy a notion is that? Tabling (Yes, I'm feeling rather random, so tabling, is a topic that just sparked my interest. So...)

Tabling. Set yourself up at a table, expect ladies to come up, look at our pictures and our trinkets of burgundy and grey and waa-laa, they are Sorors to be. Amazing!!! Kinda-funny, but true. It does seem to work. As long as it does, I suppose we'll keep doing it.

Story of my life. As long as it works, why mess with it.

J-low is so trying to make me feel conforted right now. I really hoped the control my ex had over my life would end this semester, but last night proved otherwise.  *sigh. I know I shouldn't care too much, but to not be able to just say "Hello" to a friend on his birthday? or go to a get together I'd otherwise have gone, simply because of a case of the ex? grrrr....upsetting. But I love those guys. I want the best for them. I want rush to go well, and for them to have as little drama as possible. They've earned it, and it is their time. Who am I to jack that up for them. So, J-low, can go to the parties alone (if she's ever invited), and I can sit at home pushing the boxes the ex made me pack.

Yes, I left him. The Boxes were mine to pack. But with reason. I'm a good girlfriend. I'm actually a damned good girlfriend. But some relationships die, despite the want to make it work for the sake of making it work. ---By the end that's all I was doing. Wanting it to work, just for the sake of it. I mean, my heart was out of it months earlier. I look back now, and can see how obvious that was now. Surprisingly I was the only one who saw it. Well, C says he knew too. He says he knew I was unhappy. We have that bond me and C, the ability to predict when relationships with the other are going to die. I actually have no doubt, three weeks from now, C will be in lust with a Kappa, and 3 months later it will be over. C's due for a long term haul, right about now. It'll happen...and I'll be happy for him, like I always am. The inevitable...you drink to much your  bound to throw up, hip-hop's union to the mainstream, and your best friend falling in love with someone else. Inevitable.

I have class in three hours, and I'm all achy. More inevitable predictions. I'll go to class, fight for a parking, only to have 30 minutes of syllabus review, come back and have a ticket on my car for not having a permit. This is where things are different. Since I forsee this. I'll probably go park in structure parking, pay way too much, but will not deal with the drama of bad parking on campus. Foresight. I'll see C fall in love with his KKG, I'll smile and tell him it's meant to be till it isn't. Foresight. I'll smile at J-low, tell her I love her, and not cause drama, as I go through side doors or not at all. Everything is a little harder on me, but in the end, far worth the price.

PS. What happened to my comments?