october is here

Daily Overview for October 04, 2004 Provided by Astrology.com
Quickie:
You sat on the fence until it broke. At least now you know which side you're on.

True, true.

I'm so tired. Hip hop started to suck. to much pressure.
grrr....analogy for my life? maybe.
j-low misses me  
been hanging out with I2 who has now been renamed DZ per her request. A most excellent request as she asserts she has no intentions of remaining an interest for long, i.e. she is determinged to be a sister. which makes me proud. yup yup.

so as i type this a tim mc graw song comes on reminding me of her ambition and some personal feelings.

When I'm here on this highway
Breathing diesel smoke
Driving hard for hours
Trying to make that Memphis show
People always ask me
"Son what does it take
To reach out and touch your dreams?"
To them I always say

Are you hungry?
Are you thirsty?
Is it a fire that burns you up inside?
How bad do you want it?
How bad do you need it?
Are you eating, sleeping, dreaming
With that one thing on your mind?
How bad do you want it?
How bad do you need it?
Cause if you want it all
You've got to lay it all out on the line

I get to make my living
Doing what I love
Every night I give my heart and soul
Sometimes that ain't enough
But brother, if you're like me
Looking down that road
Be careful of that wild wind, son
Sometimes it don't let go

Can you feel it?
Can you taste it?
Can you hear it knocking at your door?
How bad do you want it?
How bad do you need it?
Are you eating, sleeping, dreaming
With that one thing on your mind?
How bad do you want it?
How bad do you need it?
Cause if you want it all
You've got to lay it all out on the line

There's always a price you pay no matter what you do
If you're gonna climb that mountain to the top
It always comes down to

How bad do you want it?
How bad do you need it?
Are you eating, sleeping, dreaming
With that one thing on your mind?
How bad do you want it?
How bad do you need it?
Cause if you want it all
You've got to lay it all out on the line

k, speaking of lyrics...
yesterdays lyrics apply to the fact that some boy asked me out yesterday.  doing my laundry all depressed,  sitting minding my own buisness being eyore, and feeling like it's all gonna rain, and per previous journal request the universe providing a new boy to be all nice to me. it was cool. he's 38. yeah....i don't know about that. but he said he wanted to take me out "before I got a boyfriend"--yeah, cute, laughable but cute.
so we'll see, no harm in having dinner right?
yeah, it's weird i get so attatched to my boys and i looked at this guy and I was like "hmm, yeah---no. " but think "what the hell, better than being depressed,, right?"
*sigh
talked to the ex again last night, yeah i think i'm killing that scenario, i don't think theres a way to be friends with that one. sad really.
talked to C last night, in person, on IM and then on the phone, lol,.
yeah, i have detatchment issues. lol

j-low is coming over tonight, a talk needs to happen

my house is the lambda hotel. i always have people over!
well, damn, i  need to shower than sleep. should be like fuck it, but i really feel like fuck me.  anyways,  schools slippiong and i'm not liking it. need to prioritize, really, this work thing is totally messing with my schedule 'o' things.

dZ is yelling, lol, well i thought i was pissed, hmmm....