Why do we do this...why do we hold on to things we think we need in order to confort ourselves despite full well knowing that change is inevitable.
Case and point: my choices this evening were cry myself to sleep or grab a shirt I wore home that still smelled like him? so full well knowing it's over between me and Him, I go to my laundry pile and grab his shirt. like a moron i smell it, and yup sure as rain, smell it to see if his scent just lingers. When I am content that it does, i slip it on, and am conforted? Why? It's OVER. Just like summer an hour ago, it's over. Perhaps we hold on to what we know and what we like, for know other purpose than just that, it's what we knew and what we liked. In the morning things will be better and the angels that plagued our nightmares will be gone till either the shirt stops smelling like him, i do laundry, or am conforted in the inevitable change of the wind and someone else makes me feel better. Selfish, vindictive, and anyother bad thing you might call it but isn't that the truth. Isn't that what every person is after the first heart ache? just temporary releif from the pain you felt before. Sometimes if we're lucky it's not temporary and it is powerful enough that while it's there you can never understand how you thought you loved someone before, or how you had ever wasted sleepless nights looking for someone to be lying next to you--because this new person, this person you might still be getting used to, makes everything confortable again and it seems as if nothing truly is missing, and if ever it was, you've forgotten because it seems nothing can compare to this moment, this moment right now. Tommorow, the true Fall, becomes so far away because, today, tonight, is perfect, and you have someone, or the thought that someone, someone is happy to be that someone next to you.
Change seems to be defining your current landscape. There's more going on than meets the eye, for you don't necessarily see the completed transformations. Your desires are pushing toward getting certain needs fulfilled. Self-control is not currently part of the equation, for your impulses are dominating your psychic landscape. You'll need to express yourself, but try to do it in a way that has lasting value rather than immediate impact.