portions of what is said....

Heres an excert of what i'm writing my "stalker" who is quite cordial....

Dear old friend--
So you'll have to forgive me, i'm slightly buzzed as i write this and on four hours of sleep for the past two days...
grr, rigth now i am majorly stressed. massive work and school work to do, and no time to do it, and what am i doing???planning on going on a five hour road trip to party tommorrow, can we say "Not smart." i don't know why i do this to myself. it's 9:41 and not only am i ready to crash but, i ve already been to a bar and got jacked up. ugh, i hate myself right now, but such is the way i work sometimes.
 so i got this letter yesterday , and i've been thinking all hard, and i've come to one conclusion: i was a major jack in high school, middle school, elementary school, and probably am now.
i always did pick from the wrong batch of guys, and just when i though i had one worth specding time on, he would be a jack and break my heart, hence why i probably became the jaded ass  i can sometimes be.
i tried never to talk about people behind there back, but like the worst females i can be a chismosa, and the worst kind, the one thaat smiles when you see someone. i hope i've grown up from that, but somedays i cant even trust the people i love so, maybe not.
it seems everyone nowadays is in trouble, and i hope to stay out of it. A friend of mine used to tell me, when avoiding seeing me, that he was just trying to "stay out of trouble" --now frow a different vantage view i kinda understand what he means.

back in the day, say elementary, and like now i was a girl. the only thing that consumed me was education, popularity (then cheerleading, now the sorority) and boys. So--yeah, hear i thought i was growing up???
CR, does ring a bell. he was one of my girls cousins. Now she was  a dope girl, I wonder what happened to that chica?
 
Jokers Club. Wizard. the crew.  Serg---lol, yeah now that setting off all kind of memories, like, hmmm my first cigar.  then...yeah the first time a guy told me not to kiss him on the lips for fear it would mean something---somethings, yeah you don't forget.
......

Yeah, okay..update aside from that--> i sent HIM to dinner with his parents, with last night still on him. I feel horrid and ashamed, thinking they might think some cheap scandal-ass girlfinally degraded their little boy.  Worse, i'm scarred that He might think I intentionally meant to claim Him for my own. I didn't and i wouldn't, but deep down, i like knowing (even though it happened accidenttly) the girl that served me my long-island ice tea, can now clearly see (for the next day or two) while he doesn't have a ring, he's obviously a marked man.
in all fairness, picture day was today, it was raining,  and i had 4 hours of sleep, and yeah, as i put makeup on to cover the rings under my eyes, i was glad. and even though my sweater covered my adventure from last night,  i couldn't help smiling.  other boys could have called me, but again, i was right where i wanted to be.