And at 2:45 in the morning its miss v that brings drunkenmess home. in short rather than being annoyed i'm actually kinda
proud. tonight--separation aside--Has been pretty good. the chapter pulled together something impressive and all others were
equally "hot." kind words have been exchanged, and perhaps tomorrow without me playing Mommy, I can be more social. :)
A note on that, isn't it scary how well i play mom now. i come in slightly twisted, only to be straightened out by a 2yr old
man. now noteworthy again in the room i was in lay 3 men i've claimed to love, but in holding that kid, its kinda crazy to
know that thats the end result. well MY end result anyway
With those men in the room too i
contamplated the "what ifs."
With the Ex, perhaps i would have brought that kinda happiness to my life. with Someone else-lol, while i think he might be
a better-and i mean awesome- father than most, I never viewed him in that light. Then, well then there is my current. He whose
Mother has said she wants grandchildren in 3yrs and He who has planned for age 27. now shockingly enough this gives only one
One more year of delay than Mom. *Sigh* I would just be completing the Bar.
Lol. scary part?!? i'd be ready should I accidental ly be blessed. No worries though. For His sanity and need to be a "Single
Fraternity Boy" i'm probably the most reliable and intelligent woman regarding those kinda choices. Aka. He would kill me.
Funny thing...One night, after watching Will & Grace, I ask should 27 come around and were not together or with any one else,
would He be my Will and give me a chance to play Mommy for real. maybe another reason I love Him--HE actually said yes.
Now the irony is: neither one of up can commit to each other right now. but we somehow play grown up and talk about raising
the kids Catholic, with a swing set and tree house, and how santa and the Easter bunny both have their place. i guess in the
End, He is just my favorite make believe friend, and He indulges me in playing house. :)
LOL. right. okay. enough of that!!! we can't even Kiss in public! and yeah in order to have kids, you kinda have to be doing
--well someone, and something we just haven't and i can't perceive doing.
Okay tonight has been an overshare. perhaps i'll delete in the morning. until then drunkenness has subsided, and i'm content.
I hope my three men are. Deep down, I love each one still. Hopefully they know. Besitos.