okay...wait...

Allright, as we all know i use this thing to vent. and now i'm paying the price, the IMing has begun. you know it just sucks, that when you love a person so much, the smallest things hurt more than anything.

what he'll probably never get,
is that i feel like it 's really expensive to feel so cheap
that waking up in his bed is the highlight of my day
that i never disresspect him and tell everyone he still sleeps on the floor
that i love him more than anything because he's my friend and said he always would be,

i just wanted my friend back tonight, and sadly i felt like i was with a boy,
and there is a differance.. .sure i fall in love with , but as the song goes "it's only temporary"
but i love my friend, and  with that comes knowing  he wants more, more than what it seems i can offer. and i'm sad, and resentful, and all around a bitter bob.
But, i guess it's my fault --again as the song goes-- thats what i get for falling again.

don't misunderstand this, what i have with "him" is everything i want. unfortunately, tonight just reminded me, that i'm not everything he wanted, and well, i'm human and that hurts, and i get upset, but i'll get ovver it.
i always do,
besides, by the sounds of it "her royal highness" will soon  not only take away my wednesday, but  the part of his heart that i want-----
and now he's calling, and damn him, making it all better and making me smile again,
damn you for making me love you. you always can make me find my smile. hate you, love you more though