Blah, blah....

It’s amazing what friends can make you do. I mean the true power of friendship probably supercedes love in a million ways.

 

So, I go out with the boys last night. I love boys. Theres nothing more to say than that. Boys are the best. If I had gay guy friends who could raid my closet I might never need females outside of discussing the agony that boys bring to our lives. Even with that said, hmmm….that seems to be my sole topic with most boys, on how other boys make my life miserable. And I don’t know why they put up with it?

My moms boyfriend says, "Deep down, boys only want one thing. They always think that friendship will transcend and they will get more than friendship eventually. If they had the chance they would get in your pants."

 

I disagree. In the wise words of Cruel Intentions,

“I hate being Mary Sunshine. Excuse me for exuding confidence, and liking sex….”

The bitch has her life ruined eventually, but she had a point.

 

Anyways, I keep running across boys that have no intention of sleeping with me, they just genuinely want friendship. The Marine, okay now he was my first encounter, god I loved him. Still do, really. I so would have done anything for that man. Still would probably. Hmmmm….he’ll be back in October. Damn other continent and oceans keeping us apart. L Anyway, I’ve made him swear to marry me if we’re both single by 35. So in the end I guess I might win, I mean at the rate I’m going I have pretty goododds. Playa Playa was my second encounter, but I wanted him, and eventually, I got him. But we’re still friends. He’ll always have a piece of my heart, and my friendship to him is unconditional. Now most recently there is my Mr. Someone, who is just the coolest friend ever in this weird way; I’ve never had a friend like him. I have never talked to Mr. Someone about my personal life---we actually talk about stuff, and not just stuff, like strawberry ice cream, but ambitions, and life philosophies. Well, anyway, he’s smart and he can see the complications that intimacy brings to friendship. So that’s man number three that can leave my pants alone. Yet, again, I wanted him, and well, hmm….I don’t think I’m proving my point?

 

Okay different route, there are the true friends who have been my friends for years….well, true friend number 1: I know he told me he loved me once, but he stayed my friend even though I told him there was nothing there.  Still, given the opportunity, would he take it? Well, maybe I am a very hard person to turn down?

 

At the moment, I still might have the best friend wanting more too. I didn’t expect that one. Hell, my mind keeps swimming on it. How do you tell your best friend you’re falling in love with them? I don’t think you’re supposed to? But isn’t that what everyone wants? To be in love with their best friend? Isn’t that what all my late night conversations have always been? Why can’t the man I love be my best friend? And yet now I have that chance….

 

I put on my make up and got all dressed up last night to go out, and I was sad for the first time, that I really don’t do this for my best friends. I mean my sister is right, I only look great, and make an effort when I want something.

So, ultimately my best friends have seen me at my worst. I mean, they see me when the mascara is running, and some jerk stood me up, and they're there with spoons when my smile can only be found at the bottom of a Ben and Jerry’s pint. LOL, They’ve seen me go to the gym and sweat and work off the B&J and bitch about fitting into a dress for formal. LOL. They’ve seen me trashed, they’ve held my hair, they’ve carried me to bed, and they’ve never taken advantage.  There really is something to be said for that kind of friendship. It is a powerful, powerful thing, one doesn’t give up for much. Do you give that up for love?

 

I do….I don’t know why I’ve been lying to myself about that. These guys and gals in my life have taken the back seat to my love life time and time before. It’s messed me up actually. I’m sorry guys. Put me in check okay? I don’t ever want to do that again, okay? Not to you, not to me.

 

I know these are innocent ramblings lately; nothing consistent and nothing really coherent to let anyone really know what’s going on with my life. I’ll clear it up in the next day or two….got nothing much to really do, but for some reason or another I’m just coming out with verbal projectile.