Insta-Karma

Blah blah blah,...."if you are happy your mind will force you to smile, conversely if you force a smile, it tricks your mind into thinking you might be happy." 100 Women 

Knowing I can always turn to C, to find my smile I call. C, asks "what would make you happy right now?" and I know he would do whatever just to make me happy. I know he would.

I tell him I might never go to Never Never Land; I can't find my happy thought.

We talk about love, and how I understand how everyone who loves me, loves me as their perfect friend. I'm no one's someone, and everyones someone all in one. As the kid says, I'm a contradiction in a box. You know the only guy friend that I've probably never kissed has been C? Not sure, but pretty sure, might have to check.

I've done what is being done to me.  Wanting only to make things better in the long run and unfortunately hurting someone temporarily so as not to hurt them more in the furture, at least not taking that gamble.

It really does suck when you know that you could make someone love you more, worse yet, is knowing you should love someone who loves you, but for whatever reason you don't, or can't. Two ends of the candle, and I seem to be burning both of them tonight.

Well here's the song I knew I'd play....but somehow it means less now.

Pretty Girl (The Way)

Pretty girl is suffering, while he confesses everything
Pretty soon she'll figure out what his intentions were about
That's what you get for falling again
You can never get 'em out of your head

It's the way
That he makes you feel
It's the way
That he kisses you
It's the way
That he makes you fall in love

She's beautiful as usual with bruises on her ego and
Her killer instinct tells her to beware of evil men
And that's what you get for falling again
You can never get 'em out of your head
And that's what you get for falling again
You can never get 'em out of your head

It's the way
That he makes you feel
It's the way
That he kisses you
It's the way
That he makes you fall in love

It's the way
That he makes you feel
It's the way
That he kisses you
It's the way
That he makes you fall in love
Love

Pretty girl, pretty girl

Pretty girl is suffering, while he confesses everything
Pretty soon she'll figure out
You can never get 'em out of your head

It's the way
That he makes you cry
It's the way
That he in your mind
It's the way
That he makes you fall in love

It's the way
That he makes you feel
It's the way
That he kisses you
It's the way
That he makes you fall in love
Love