C has a date tomorrow with an unknown, unaffiliated "R."--I abbreviate as if she'll ever appear within my blog again.

You know, It's a wonderful morning when you're woken up by Interest to ask you about Community Service and How to Best
Present Themselves as an entity of MY organization.

Positive thinking has focussed my day and life. C has proven yet again ever deserving of the Best Friend title. not accounting
For out of town nominees. speaking of such "BATTLE 4" of re-prioritizing MY life has been completed and I am officially in the
Running for re-Election to continue my lack of a life to better my sorrority aka hold office. :)
So yes that battle is done. the battles are what have been affectionately coined to show my triumph over wack life and
the negativeness that can be associated with it. the mal vida i refuse to be caught up in any more.
Oh. study group resumes tomorrow. and thursday slightly is intriguing me. :)
Early morning manana. must sleep. Spoon here saying good night moon and i talk to you later about running away with the Dish
Oh p.s. do you ever wonder if people that you wouldn't want reading your blog Ever do? i'm starting to grow soft wondering.

From Melt down to just melting

okay so five second break from my 8 page paper thats due in of 1.5 hours.  went to the doctor today. yeah, the anti-biotics they gave me to cure my seemingly harmless but oh so bothersome cough has apparently disagreed with the pigment of my skin, meaning, i have the cutest little red blotches ever on my shoulder, thigh, torso and wrist. not contagious the doctor says, nothing to worry about the doctor says, just a little alergic reaction. um, yeah, great.
so guess what we all know what anti-biotics mua is no longer allowed to take. peachy.
moving right along. Spent last night crying on the phone, with my best friend. i'm sure he hates me, but he doesn't. because he called me, and he keeps calling me, reminding me constantly that it is my life, and that last time i checked i never gave anyone--not the university, not my ex, not my sorrors--permission to jack that up.
so, acknowledging that --i woke up this morning, and told c I hated life and the bad day i wasn't prepared for, in three words he made it all do-able.
Not those three words, breathe people, this is C we're talking about.
but close enough, he IM's me-- after a lengthy explanation of why my day will just be awful and i should shoot myself and drop out of school and blah blah, whine whine....
--just simple...
"We'll fix it"
Not "I know YOU can do this",
or "YOURE strong, YOU'll manage,"
but being the true friend he is, who lord knows can't stand me on days like yesterday and this morning, says I'm not alone.  And you know that's all it took.
So, there it is my positive-ness for the day.
I have a presentation in 1.4 hours now lol and an 8 page paper due, and you know what, I'm gonna do it-- I might have to "push ridiculously hard today"  to make it happen, lol, but I will. and even if I don't --I know the shoulder I can lean on and the arms I can run to.  You know, I've been that for many, so it's nice that one person is willing to be that for me.
Smile, cuz if you're reading this, You're probably someone that I do love, and if you need me, I'm there for you.  And I just wanted to let you know I'm doing okay.

For the sake of my sanity. i just might move out. the lambda hotel is yeah now an everyday reminder of the non life i have.
I love my girls. i love my org. and its out of that love that i'm missing work tomorrow. missed class tonight and am making C have to deal with all of it
I'm going to shoot myself. --No you Jacks, not in that way and thats not funny. grr. anywhoo. want to grr.

538 he cant sleep. his resolution: buy a futon. :)

And at 2:45 in the morning its miss v that brings drunkenmess home. in short rather than being annoyed i'm actually kinda
proud. tonight--separation aside--Has been pretty good. the chapter pulled together something impressive and all others were
equally "hot." kind words have been exchanged, and perhaps tomorrow without me playing Mommy, I can be more social. :)
A note on that, isn't it scary how well i play mom now. i come in slightly twisted, only to be straightened out by a 2yr old
man. now noteworthy again in the room i was in lay 3 men i've claimed to love, but in holding that kid, its kinda crazy to
know that thats the end result. well MY end result anyway
With those men in the room too i
contamplated the "what ifs."
With the Ex, perhaps i would have brought that kinda happiness to my life. with Someone else-lol, while i think he might be
a better-and i mean awesome- father than most, I never viewed him in that light. Then, well then there is my current. He whose
Mother has said she wants grandchildren in 3yrs and He who has planned for age 27. now shockingly enough this gives only one
One more year of delay than Mom. *Sigh* I would just be completing the Bar.
Lol. scary part?!? i'd be ready should I accidental ly be blessed. No worries though. For His sanity and need to be a "Single
Fraternity Boy" i'm probably the most reliable and intelligent woman regarding those kinda choices. Aka. He would kill me.
Funny thing...One night, after watching Will & Grace, I ask should 27 come around and were not together or with any one else,
would He be my Will and give me a chance to play Mommy for real. maybe another reason I love Him--HE actually said yes.
Now the irony is: neither one of up can commit to each other right now. but we somehow play grown up and talk about raising
the kids Catholic, with a swing set and tree house, and how santa and the Easter bunny both have their place. i guess in the
End, He is just my favorite make believe friend, and He indulges me in playing house. :)
LOL. right. okay. enough of that!!! we can't even Kiss in public! and yeah in order to have kids, you kinda have to be doing
--well someone, and something we just haven't and i can't perceive doing.
Okay tonight has been an overshare. perhaps i'll delete in the morning. until then drunkenness has subsided, and i'm content.
I hope my three men are. Deep down, I love each one still. Hopefully they know. Besitos.