I'm A Little Black Rain Cloud of course.

Okay, it's 1:11 AM. Of course I'm awake. And I'm a little grumpy but in a cute way. (Also, bee warned, this doesn't mean you...unless it does) :)

So, I was awoken from my "nap" that started at 9pm-- Yeah, only to be woken up by 11pm by the alarm, to wake the hubby up, for tada...graveyard shift. Just another JOY of being a military wife. --I say this, knowing in five months, I will be in a permanent graveyard shift...24 hours lights-on for 6 months...24 hours lights-off the other 6 months. Awesome, right? But enough of that.. Back to the Title...

(Aside: Pooh Bear, yes? I blame you...because of you, I wake up and start watching Golden Girls. Do you know how lame that is? Lol.)

For those of you who don't know: Pooh Bear is an undercurrent in my life...Not only tied in with somewhat pleasant childhood memories, he is also quiet an insightful little bear. Again, for those of you who may not know, I am really into Tao philosophy, especially according to Benjamin Hoff :) So...after much deliberation (that's where I think, think, think) the name I am assigning to a GREAT Guy who has actually been in this blog, well since I met him, is now going to be synonymous with the Tubby little cubby all stuffed with fluff.

I influence him, he influences me...and well, who doesn't want to cuddle with a Pooh Bear...but THATS another story...and before I make this a blog all ABOUT him. Lets talk about how he's been getting me through.

For the past week, aside from the midnight text, he's helped alleviate the stress of bridal madness...Which is apart from when I'm not watching my NFL team suffer.

At 1am, I'm thinking about the many people that won't notice I have stayed up and bothered to HAND ADDRESS over 130 invitations. I am applying stamps to these 130+ invites. I'm thinking of how I'm paying for the postage of these 130+ invites...Most importantly I'm thinking that less than 30 of these 130 invitations will even bother to show up to my wedding. Its made me very sad. Sorority sisters, college friends, even family members have already given me their "I'm sorry, but your day isn't important enough for me to take time or money out of my life to make that 4 hour drive or 2 hour flight."

I tell myself to be more understanding. That we are in a failing economy. That my wedding is on a Friday. That I'm requiring people to travel. YEAH. And then I think, you know, I would have done it for you. I have done it for you.
I think....I didn't expect you to show up to my high school graduation, I didn't ask you to show up to my baccalaureate, or masters degree presentations. Yeah, I never expected any graduation gifts from my JD program completion. Not even a good job, that time I won that prestigious award, or spoke in front of hundreds. Yeah, never cared. Never really thought, hey, you should be there....BUT this ONE time, this one time I expect FAMILY to be by my side, yeah, crickets. Maybe the RSVP's will prove me different, but right now. Well, I'm a little black rain cloud of course...Lol, which puts me in a better mood thinking about it. ..

For the translation, you may watch: I'm A Little Black Rain Cloud of course



This sillyness along with the recommended NFL and Golden Girls also keeps me from thinking on the status updates that WERE bothering me(past tense, glad to report). I say this, as I'm sure that was overblown. Nevertheless, I'm staying off twitter until I can manage my time without wondering where I rank in peoples lives. Sigh...

anyways. I need to Think think think less and do more stoutness excercise....

P.Bear, see how this name fits you perfectly?? Stuff and Fluff...Thats better. Thank you.

xoxox,
DCGG