The Tao of T

The discussion between ex's resumes....
Should I treat relationships like commodities: You put in the time/effort/ caring and I will do the same or should I treat it as the ideal we all hope to acheive: unconditional caring. Meaning, I will put in with no expectation of recieving anything in return. The hopes being like the Christmas Spirit, one should be happier in Giving than in recieving

In abreviated fashion:
dentist: here is a quote that relates...
dentist: Happiness is an attitude. We either make ourselves miserable, or happy and strong. The amount of work is the same ~Francesca Reigler
Lil zuby: I agree completely
dentist: there the people who look at the world as half empty and those who see it as half full. then there are the people who see it as 75% or 90% or.....full.
Lil zuby: But......Being an independent woman that I claim to be, I feel it is the same anmount of work to make myself happy with or without HIM or any relationship in my life.
dentist: so what?
Lil zuby: i don't feel i need any one in my life to be happy
Lil zuby: i shouldn't be looking for that in him or anyone else
dentist: k 
Lil zuby: hence the exchange ratio
dentist: there are no shoulds
dentist: the only people who find what they are looking for in life are the fault finders. ~foster's law
Lil zuby: if i can be happy alone, or with him, --being with him and the effort time etc to be with him shouldn't dimiish how i feel about him
dentist: here what it comes down to..
dentist: straight out of Ken Keyes
Lil zuby: do tell
dentist: to be upset over what you don't have is to waste what you do have
Lil zuby: fair enough, but what happens when your perception of what you have is changed based on the loss
Lil zuby: i mean lets take this glass being full example
Lil zuby: i felt i had an entirely full glass
Lil zuby: complete with straw
dentist: you never lose...that is just made up in your mind ...not your knowing
dentist: your mind said you have one
Lil zuby: exactly this is all mind perveption
dentist: listen to your knowing telling that you do
Lil zuby: one more time?
Lil zuby: knowing telling?
dentist: instead of listening to your mind....listen to what you know yourself to have(be)
Lil zuby: i know I'm fine alone
Lil zuby: i know I'm fine with him in my life
Lil zuby: I know I control my happiness
Lil zuby: i can make myself miserable by granting this situation the power to control my emotions, etc, and allowing the situation to take away my happiness, when in fact--I know The situation, or He does not take away my ability to love him, cherish him, value him, etc
Lil zuby: i know this
Lil zuby: but
Lil zuby: i'm just saying I'm not good at it yet
dentist: no buts
dentist: that's a cop out
Lil zuby: i'm saying he went out on a date tonight and I'm still used to allowing the situation to control my feelings
Lil zuby: damn right it's a cop out
dentist: then give it up
Lil zuby: i'm telling you I can't do it "right not"
dentist: give up that addiction'
Lil zuby: maybe later
Lil zuby: okay.
Lil zuby: I'm just saying I can't give up that addiction right now
Lil zuby: I want to
Lil zuby: believe me I do
dentist: when you are tired of being unhappy.....then you'll give up the addiction and just be
Lil zuby: I know I can
dentist: that is incorrect
dentist: you can give it up
dentist: you just aren't willing to
Lil zuby: yes
Lil zuby: that's right
dentist: you prefer not to
Lil zuby: i know thats right
Lil zuby: you're right
Lil zuby: I prefer my orderly world of reciprocity
Lil zuby: it doesn't work that way and being unconditional takes a lot of work
Lil zuby: because it means i have to give up the addiction
dentist: you prefer the world of missery
dentist: because you are too scared to live in peace
Lil zuby: no, i prefer the world of "he's an idiot, he'll realize it later," and in the meantime, I'll be happy without him
Lil zuby: perhaps
dentist: and you're not
Lil zuby: i've never had peace alone
Lil zuby: now thats an addiction
Lil zuby: i know that
dentist: you've had it...you just never looked at it
Lil zuby: maybe
dentist: hold on
Lil zuby: k
dentist: "I always remember I have everything I need to enjoy my here and now~unless I am letting my consciousness be dominated by demands and expectations based on the dead past or imagined future"~key keyes
Lil zuby: wow
Lil zuby: that's awesome
Lil zuby: I try very hard to consider something very similiar
Lil zuby: in short version "Iam responsible for my own happiness"
dentist: look up Pathways into higher consciousness Ken Keyes
Lil zuby: I get it, I do. Anything else after this would be an excuse or copout, for why I feel I can't be happy, and I call myself out on them, but (copout again) I am addicted to holding on to past pstterns
Lil zuby: i will
dentist: there are 12 pathways...read them
Lil zuby: lol. great a pathway for every credit hour :-)
Lil zuby: lol--anyways
Lil zuby: are you happy?
Lil zuby: school, work, etc
dentist: yes i am
Lil zuby: thats good honey. I love catching up with you
Lil zuby: you always seem to be a step ahead of me when it comes to the personal growth portions in our lives
dentist: not ahead...just in a different spot
Lil zuby: true
Lil zuby: i'm in my own little corner, but I'm getting it lately
Lil zuby: i told him last night,
Lil zuby: I've been unhappy before, and as a person who wants your happiness, I hope you enjoy tommorrow night and are able to find what ever it is that you think might be keeping you back fom being unhappy.
Lil zuby: i didn't cry.
Lil zuby: not then
dentist: do you mean that?
Lil zuby: i do
Lil zuby: i really want his happiness
Lil zuby: just like I wanted...continue to want yours
Lil zuby: i want to be able to see the people in my life happy--
Lil zuby: but i know i'm not responsible for it
Lil zuby: like i said,
Lil zuby: "
"I'm responsible for my own happiness
Lil zuby: wow, it's late
Lil zuby: I should get going...shower, sleep, what-not
Lil zuby: but thank you
dentist: night night
Lil zuby: good night
Lil zuby: :-)
Lil zuby: consider me going up--if that would be fun for you, xxx