One of these days I'll be good. Maybe it will be tonight.
Thai was good tonight, headache is not.
ABOUT DCGossipGirl
Followers
Laughing at myself
Lord help the hopeless, Lol.
Sooooo. I handled this so-called break-up with Retail Therapy. Hello, my name is DCGG, and I am a bargain shopper. I infact needed to BUY a whole other suitcase to pack what I have purchased...count them 10 new pairs of heels, 2 pairs of flip flops, a um nude flat-which is what I intended to buy...
A few (maybe 6?) Dress shirts, 1 black number dress (See video)…, a very cute formal dressI have bo idea where I'll wear it...um, 2 pairs of jeans, and um, two belts...the other item I 'meant' to buy.
Hmmmmm. Strange. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hME9RM_aJHk) LMAO!
In addition to the fact that "Shopping makes everything better" and being with Momma and Daddy...who really reinforce Cowgirls Don't Cry, having a best friend and friends in general to lean on is kinda nice. Ya'll really refrained from the I told you sooo's; thank you.
A Certain number of men have made the transition nice as well. The Lexus Dealer aka the Closer, insist he takes me out to dinner when I re-imerge, I'm apparently invited to Poker with The Indian Guy, but lol...yeah, I'm stupid, This One Guy...Mr. Coffee, has my Mom salvating and waiting everymorning to see what's new with the brew...
*sigh. You'd think I'd be jaded, or at least slowed down...but get back on, and ride, girl, ride.
Mr.Coffee...yeah, that one scares me. Everyone else knows their place...a distraction at best. But Mr.Coffee, lol, he's just witty and adorable, and secretely probably married to 7 women in Oregan.
Learning SOMETHING from before...I think I'll savor this time. Momma said, you can't rush love...
Lol. Then again momma is as obsessed with figuring this guy out as I am...but Mr.Cofee later.
This post is my closure chapter on my man with the Yellow Hat...I deleted the pictures, I took off the necklace (and bought myself a new one), erased text, emails, and IMs. Hard yes...but like band-aids, quick stings hurt less than the fear of agony of what I thought Id feel. Again, Strange.
Anyways. If The Man in The Yellow Hat ever reads this, I can thank him for giving me my summer romance fantasy.
I did love you, and that means wishing you well. So, best, and love- from my heart to yours.
That said, careful world, she's no longer grounded or on cloud nine, in an ironic private joke no one will get...I'm Floating.
Xoxo Universe.
Sooooo. I handled this so-called break-up with Retail Therapy. Hello, my name is DCGG, and I am a bargain shopper. I infact needed to BUY a whole other suitcase to pack what I have purchased...count them 10 new pairs of heels, 2 pairs of flip flops, a um nude flat-which is what I intended to buy...
A few (maybe 6?) Dress shirts, 1 black number dress (See video)…, a very cute formal dressI have bo idea where I'll wear it...um, 2 pairs of jeans, and um, two belts...the other item I 'meant' to buy.
Hmmmmm. Strange. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hME9RM_aJHk) LMAO!
In addition to the fact that "Shopping makes everything better" and being with Momma and Daddy...who really reinforce Cowgirls Don't Cry, having a best friend and friends in general to lean on is kinda nice. Ya'll really refrained from the I told you sooo's; thank you.
A Certain number of men have made the transition nice as well. The Lexus Dealer aka the Closer, insist he takes me out to dinner when I re-imerge, I'm apparently invited to Poker with The Indian Guy, but lol...yeah, I'm stupid, This One Guy...Mr. Coffee, has my Mom salvating and waiting everymorning to see what's new with the brew...
*sigh. You'd think I'd be jaded, or at least slowed down...but get back on, and ride, girl, ride.
Mr.Coffee...yeah, that one scares me. Everyone else knows their place...a distraction at best. But Mr.Coffee, lol, he's just witty and adorable, and secretely probably married to 7 women in Oregan.
Learning SOMETHING from before...I think I'll savor this time. Momma said, you can't rush love...
Lol. Then again momma is as obsessed with figuring this guy out as I am...but Mr.Cofee later.
This post is my closure chapter on my man with the Yellow Hat...I deleted the pictures, I took off the necklace (and bought myself a new one), erased text, emails, and IMs. Hard yes...but like band-aids, quick stings hurt less than the fear of agony of what I thought Id feel. Again, Strange.
Anyways. If The Man in The Yellow Hat ever reads this, I can thank him for giving me my summer romance fantasy.
I did love you, and that means wishing you well. So, best, and love- from my heart to yours.
That said, careful world, she's no longer grounded or on cloud nine, in an ironic private joke no one will get...I'm Floating.
Xoxo Universe.
9:35 PM | Filed Under | 0 Comments
So, What Happened...
As I attempt to flee, and recapture any shread of dignity and self-worth, I have decided that perhaps my little universe is curious as to my EMO-like postings and manic mood-swings...
LET ME TRY TO EXPLAIN...See, the truth is. I don't know what is going on as I have been told NOTHING by my BOYFRIEND...whom, I can only assume still is my boyfriend as I haven't been told otherwise...but there's a thin line between willful blindness and stupidity.
As I have constructed the situation, a man who promised he loved me, who stated he needed to handle a very serious and grave situation that would take him out of state and out of contact from me, his beloved girlfriend...This I understood. He left, and said he'd be out of touch. I understood. A week passes by, with reassuring text. He loves me, he misses me. I understand. Two weeks goes by. He promises he's okay, just family business, things will be normal soon he says...he promises he loves me and misses me. I understand.
I'm on week 3 of his absence, getting ready to join family in the lone star state, and realize I should be celebrating with friends who just completed The Bar...I go to invite my boyfriends BFF, who is one of my newest Facebook friends...and lo and behold, he has a new posting on his wall from my Boyfriend??? I'm confused. I read the note. A stupid survey that takes too much time...it talks about the last girl he talked to, held hands with, hugged...Erin.
My name is not Erin. And wait, why hasn't he accepted MY Friend request?
I discuss this with friends. I let 24 hours go by...my friends say shady. I defend him.
Next post shows up on the BFF's wall... another lengthy survey...and again this other chick is tagged.
As my girlfriend puts it, "Who the Fuck is Erin?"
I call. Get voicemail,
I text. No response.
I get drunk. I get emotional. I email...I in essence "T-out" I.e. go pyscho...
But it was a very well written emotional email. Asking for closure, the courtesy of a response, apologizing if I had jumpedto conclusions...and perhaps this would have been all fine...IF my phone didn't decide to send said emotional letter eight times. Yes, eight. I'm sure I have a restraining order on me when I wake up.
Yes, only I could have managed to fall in love in 5 days and within 5 hours make a man think, what the Hell was I thinking...but I do think I was deemed an explanation.
I mean what guy tells you he loves you, then vanishes?
I suppose the men I love. Tragic. I made one last attempt to email him today since pycho letter.
If I don't hear from him, I'll delete the emails, the text messages, and take off the necklace at midnight. I'll go on that date Mr.Coffee keeps hinting at. I'll be okay, because I have to. Even if I go back to being jaded and keeping my heart locked up where no one can hurt me....But, no, I don't understand--and I want to.
Xoxo universe...
LET ME TRY TO EXPLAIN...See, the truth is. I don't know what is going on as I have been told NOTHING by my BOYFRIEND...whom, I can only assume still is my boyfriend as I haven't been told otherwise...but there's a thin line between willful blindness and stupidity.
As I have constructed the situation, a man who promised he loved me, who stated he needed to handle a very serious and grave situation that would take him out of state and out of contact from me, his beloved girlfriend...This I understood. He left, and said he'd be out of touch. I understood. A week passes by, with reassuring text. He loves me, he misses me. I understand. Two weeks goes by. He promises he's okay, just family business, things will be normal soon he says...he promises he loves me and misses me. I understand.
I'm on week 3 of his absence, getting ready to join family in the lone star state, and realize I should be celebrating with friends who just completed The Bar...I go to invite my boyfriends BFF, who is one of my newest Facebook friends...and lo and behold, he has a new posting on his wall from my Boyfriend??? I'm confused. I read the note. A stupid survey that takes too much time...it talks about the last girl he talked to, held hands with, hugged...Erin.
My name is not Erin. And wait, why hasn't he accepted MY Friend request?
I discuss this with friends. I let 24 hours go by...my friends say shady. I defend him.
Next post shows up on the BFF's wall... another lengthy survey...and again this other chick is tagged.
As my girlfriend puts it, "Who the Fuck is Erin?"
I call. Get voicemail,
I text. No response.
I get drunk. I get emotional. I email...I in essence "T-out" I.e. go pyscho...
But it was a very well written emotional email. Asking for closure, the courtesy of a response, apologizing if I had jumpedto conclusions...and perhaps this would have been all fine...IF my phone didn't decide to send said emotional letter eight times. Yes, eight. I'm sure I have a restraining order on me when I wake up.
Yes, only I could have managed to fall in love in 5 days and within 5 hours make a man think, what the Hell was I thinking...but I do think I was deemed an explanation.
I mean what guy tells you he loves you, then vanishes?
I suppose the men I love. Tragic. I made one last attempt to email him today since pycho letter.
If I don't hear from him, I'll delete the emails, the text messages, and take off the necklace at midnight. I'll go on that date Mr.Coffee keeps hinting at. I'll be okay, because I have to. Even if I go back to being jaded and keeping my heart locked up where no one can hurt me....But, no, I don't understand--and I want to.
Xoxo universe...
1:30 PM | Filed Under | 1 Comments
Last Try
Didn't You Know How Much I Loved You?
I remember the way you made love to me
Like I was all you'd ever need
Did you change your mind?
Well I didn't change mine
Now here I am tryin' to make sense of it all
We were best friends now we don't even talk
You broke my heart
Ripped my world apart
Didn't you know how much I loved you?
Didn't you know how much I loved you baby?
I gave you everything, every part of me
Didn't you feel it when I touched you?
Didn't I rock you when I loved you baby?
Baby tell me
Didn't you know how much I loved you?
I can't get you outta my head
I still feel you in this bed
Left me all alone, couldn't be more gone
From fallin' apart to fightin' mad
Wanting you back to not givin' a damn
I felt it all
I've been to the wall
Didn't you know how much I loved you?
Didn't you know how much I loved you baby?
I gave you everything, every part of me
Didn't you feel it when I touched you?
Didn't I rock you when I loved you baby?
Baby tell me
Didn't you know how much I loved you?
One day justice will come and find you
And I'll be right there in your memory
to remind you
Didn't you know how much I loved you?
Didn't you know how much I loved you baby?
I gave you everything, every part of me
Didn't you feel it when I touched you?
Didn't I rock you when I loved you baby?
Baby tell me
Didn't you know how much I loved you?
Didn't you know how much I loved you baby?
Gave you everything, every part of me
Didn't you feel it when I touched you?
Didn't I rock you when I loved you baby?
Baby tell me
Gave you everything, every part of me
I remember the way you made love to me
Like I was all you'd ever need
Did you change your mind?
Well I didn't change mine
Now here I am tryin' to make sense of it all
We were best friends now we don't even talk
You broke my heart
Ripped my world apart
Didn't you know how much I loved you?
Didn't you know how much I loved you baby?
I gave you everything, every part of me
Didn't you feel it when I touched you?
Didn't I rock you when I loved you baby?
Baby tell me
Didn't you know how much I loved you?
I can't get you outta my head
I still feel you in this bed
Left me all alone, couldn't be more gone
From fallin' apart to fightin' mad
Wanting you back to not givin' a damn
I felt it all
I've been to the wall
Didn't you know how much I loved you?
Didn't you know how much I loved you baby?
I gave you everything, every part of me
Didn't you feel it when I touched you?
Didn't I rock you when I loved you baby?
Baby tell me
Didn't you know how much I loved you?
One day justice will come and find you
And I'll be right there in your memory
to remind you
Didn't you know how much I loved you?
Didn't you know how much I loved you baby?
I gave you everything, every part of me
Didn't you feel it when I touched you?
Didn't I rock you when I loved you baby?
Baby tell me
Didn't you know how much I loved you?
Didn't you know how much I loved you baby?
Gave you everything, every part of me
Didn't you feel it when I touched you?
Didn't I rock you when I loved you baby?
Baby tell me
Gave you everything, every part of me
11:38 AM | Filed Under | 0 Comments
i broke my back, you broke my heart
Happy Endings by: All American Rejects
Time does tell
That even if they say so
She'd be the one that would know
That I did do what I've done
And I, wouldn't call it cheating
I'd just say I was leading her on
Why walk while I run a-way
You- you ask me what went wrong
Me- i'll write you this last song
Please- just tell me one way we can win
One- more thing before I go
Two- the one who loves me so
Three- don't make me count to three again
Happy endings
Just what did you do, If you're a dream then come true
Stop pretending
That what you mean isn't what you say
Hopeful dreaming,
Of times before the pain, wishing it was still the same
Loving, leaving
Round and round and round we go again
Walks a-lone, have often lead to thinking
My love for you is sinking to what seems an all time low
or high, the limits' never ending,
And don't you know I'm sending
There's no venture I won't go
For you
You- you ask me what went wrong
Me- i'll write you this last song
Please- just tell me one way we can win
One- more thing before I go
Two- the one who loves me so
Three- don't make me count to three again
Happy endings
Just what did you do, If you're a dream then come true
Stop pretending
That what you mean isn't what you say
Hopeful dreaming,
Of times before the pain, wishing it was still the same
Loving, leaving
Round and round and round we go again
She walks away, she talks away
She walks away
She walks away, she talks away
Away, away...
Happy endings
Just what did you do, If you're a dream then come true
Stop pretending
That what you mean isn't what you say
Hopeful dreaming,
Of times before the pain, wishing it was still the same
Loving, leaving
Round and round and round we go again
Happy endings
Just what did you do, If you're a dream then come true
Stop pretending
That what you mean isn't what you say
Hopeful dreaming,
Loving, leaving...
Time does tell
That even if they say so
She'd be the one that would know
That I did do what I've done
And I, wouldn't call it cheating
I'd just say I was leading her on
Why walk while I run a-way
You- you ask me what went wrong
Me- i'll write you this last song
Please- just tell me one way we can win
One- more thing before I go
Two- the one who loves me so
Three- don't make me count to three again
Happy endings
Just what did you do, If you're a dream then come true
Stop pretending
That what you mean isn't what you say
Hopeful dreaming,
Of times before the pain, wishing it was still the same
Loving, leaving
Round and round and round we go again
Walks a-lone, have often lead to thinking
My love for you is sinking to what seems an all time low
or high, the limits' never ending,
And don't you know I'm sending
There's no venture I won't go
For you
You- you ask me what went wrong
Me- i'll write you this last song
Please- just tell me one way we can win
One- more thing before I go
Two- the one who loves me so
Three- don't make me count to three again
Happy endings
Just what did you do, If you're a dream then come true
Stop pretending
That what you mean isn't what you say
Hopeful dreaming,
Of times before the pain, wishing it was still the same
Loving, leaving
Round and round and round we go again
She walks away, she talks away
She walks away
She walks away, she talks away
Away, away...
Happy endings
Just what did you do, If you're a dream then come true
Stop pretending
That what you mean isn't what you say
Hopeful dreaming,
Of times before the pain, wishing it was still the same
Loving, leaving
Round and round and round we go again
Happy endings
Just what did you do, If you're a dream then come true
Stop pretending
That what you mean isn't what you say
Hopeful dreaming,
Loving, leaving...
1:34 PM | Filed Under | 0 Comments
I'm still wearing his necklace...
The Little Things by: Colbie Caillat
The little things you do to me
Are taking me over, I wanna show ya
Everything inside of me
Like a nervous heart that is crazy beatin'
my feet are stuck here against the pavement
I wanna break free, I wanna make it
Closer to your eyes, get your attention
Before you pass me by
Back up, back up
Take another chance
Don't you mess up, mess up
I don't wanna lose you
Wake up, wake up
This ain't just a thing that you
Give up, give up
Don't you say that I'd be
Better off, better off, sleeping by myself and wondering
If I'm better off, better off, without you boy
And every time you notice me by
Holding me closely, and saying sweet things
I don't believe that it could be
You speakin' your mind and sayin' the real thing
My feet have broke free and I am leaving
I'm not gonna stand here feeling lonely but
I don't regret it, and I don't think it
Was just a waste of time
Back up, back up
Take another chance
Don't you mess up, mess up
I don't wanna lose you
Wake up, wake up
This ain't just a thing that you
Give up, give up
Don't you say that I'd be
Better off, better off, sleeping by myself and wondering
If I'm better off, better off, without you boy
Don't just leave me hangin' on...
Don't just leave me hangin' on...
The little things you do to me are
Taking me over, I wanna show ya
Everything inside of me
Like a nervous heart that is crazy beatin'
my feet are stuck here against the pavement
I wanna break free, I wanna make it
Closer to your eyes, get your attention
Before you pass me by
Don't just leave me hangin' on...
Back up, back up
Take another chance
Don't you mess up, mess up
I don't wanna lose you
Wake up, wake up
This ain't just a thing that you
Give up, give up
Don't you say that I'd be
(Don't just leave me hangin' on...)
Better off, better off, sleeping by myself and wondering
(Don't just leave me hangin' on...)
If I'm better off, better off, without you boy
Don't just leave me hangin' on...
Don't just leave me hangin' on...
(The little things, oh, the little things you do to me)
Don't just leave me hangin' on...
(Driving me crazy, crazy)
Don't just leave me hangin' on...
(The little things, oh, thze little things you do to me)
(Driving me crazy, crazy)
The little things you do to me
Are taking me over, I wanna show ya
Everything inside of me
Like a nervous heart that is crazy beatin'
my feet are stuck here against the pavement
I wanna break free, I wanna make it
Closer to your eyes, get your attention
Before you pass me by
Back up, back up
Take another chance
Don't you mess up, mess up
I don't wanna lose you
Wake up, wake up
This ain't just a thing that you
Give up, give up
Don't you say that I'd be
Better off, better off, sleeping by myself and wondering
If I'm better off, better off, without you boy
And every time you notice me by
Holding me closely, and saying sweet things
I don't believe that it could be
You speakin' your mind and sayin' the real thing
My feet have broke free and I am leaving
I'm not gonna stand here feeling lonely but
I don't regret it, and I don't think it
Was just a waste of time
Back up, back up
Take another chance
Don't you mess up, mess up
I don't wanna lose you
Wake up, wake up
This ain't just a thing that you
Give up, give up
Don't you say that I'd be
Better off, better off, sleeping by myself and wondering
If I'm better off, better off, without you boy
Don't just leave me hangin' on...
Don't just leave me hangin' on...
The little things you do to me are
Taking me over, I wanna show ya
Everything inside of me
Like a nervous heart that is crazy beatin'
my feet are stuck here against the pavement
I wanna break free, I wanna make it
Closer to your eyes, get your attention
Before you pass me by
Don't just leave me hangin' on...
Back up, back up
Take another chance
Don't you mess up, mess up
I don't wanna lose you
Wake up, wake up
This ain't just a thing that you
Give up, give up
Don't you say that I'd be
(Don't just leave me hangin' on...)
Better off, better off, sleeping by myself and wondering
(Don't just leave me hangin' on...)
If I'm better off, better off, without you boy
Don't just leave me hangin' on...
Don't just leave me hangin' on...
(The little things, oh, the little things you do to me)
Don't just leave me hangin' on...
(Driving me crazy, crazy)
Don't just leave me hangin' on...
(The little things, oh, thze little things you do to me)
(Driving me crazy, crazy)
7:48 PM | Filed Under | 0 Comments
Watch the Monkey Dance....Yayyyy Art!
I have successfully upgraded this Upper Eastsiders posh new apartment with works of Art and pictures of my beloveds...Thus, from a well-furnished pad...springs forth the place I call well ALMOST Home...
Somethings missing...Lol, hmmm. The Irony.
I'm thinking a few houseplants? A New bedset? Something...
While buying a new comforter won't make up for the Man missing in my bed, I was reminded by my Mom that I've always been a happy girl asleep on a couch if need be...
Its funny when you fall in love, the things that used to make you happy still do, but there's this unfullfilled part of you...
The begining of Dogma (the movie) explains it...The main charector is talking about how when you're little, you have a little glass, and life/faith can fill it up easily...but as you grow...the glass gets bigger. The same amount of faith no longer fills the glass...
That's kinda it...its like for the first time in YEARS (maybe 10 YEARS) I allowed myself to think about having a child again...Isn't that nuts?
For the first time in YEARS, I trust someone...completely. I'd move, I'd stay at home...I'd be That Girl...the one to give it all up for a Man...yup. Pathetic...
Secret? I've wanted that since a freshman in college.
Shocker? Just two days ago I was told by Mr.Boots that he never saw me as "the Family Type...I always figured you the lonely career woman working at some high class office, counting money I couldn't dream of..."
And in an instant, I was like wow!?
I already think of the names I want for the future son or daughter...I laugh at deciding whether to tell the Man in the Yellow Hat that this is what he's done to me...
Poor Guy... My Man it seems is still 6 hours too far away, but his messages of returned normality, have brought a smile to my face all day...Our Normality is a Disney Fairytale...
He messaged all the time, called all the time, was here all the time...as Queen put it...we are "obsessed" with each other...Yup. the couple people love to hate. The couple snuggling on the subway, or holding hands in a grocery store, the kissing in the park that begs "get a room..." Yup, I miss that normality...
While what he's dealing with is severe and necessary, it doesn't make me any less impatient. As I told him, I can barely wait in a line at a grocery store...This is hard.
Que se ra...I guess I wait. In the meantime, I hang art that reminds me that if forced to live a life alone, I do so quite nicely...and suddenly the glass gets just a little fuller.
I'm okay My Universe, just missing what will soon enough make the house a Home.
Somethings missing...Lol, hmmm. The Irony.
I'm thinking a few houseplants? A New bedset? Something...
While buying a new comforter won't make up for the Man missing in my bed, I was reminded by my Mom that I've always been a happy girl asleep on a couch if need be...
Its funny when you fall in love, the things that used to make you happy still do, but there's this unfullfilled part of you...
The begining of Dogma (the movie) explains it...The main charector is talking about how when you're little, you have a little glass, and life/faith can fill it up easily...but as you grow...the glass gets bigger. The same amount of faith no longer fills the glass...
That's kinda it...its like for the first time in YEARS (maybe 10 YEARS) I allowed myself to think about having a child again...Isn't that nuts?
For the first time in YEARS, I trust someone...completely. I'd move, I'd stay at home...I'd be That Girl...the one to give it all up for a Man...yup. Pathetic...
Secret? I've wanted that since a freshman in college.
Shocker? Just two days ago I was told by Mr.Boots that he never saw me as "the Family Type...I always figured you the lonely career woman working at some high class office, counting money I couldn't dream of..."
And in an instant, I was like wow!?
I already think of the names I want for the future son or daughter...I laugh at deciding whether to tell the Man in the Yellow Hat that this is what he's done to me...
Poor Guy... My Man it seems is still 6 hours too far away, but his messages of returned normality, have brought a smile to my face all day...Our Normality is a Disney Fairytale...
He messaged all the time, called all the time, was here all the time...as Queen put it...we are "obsessed" with each other...Yup. the couple people love to hate. The couple snuggling on the subway, or holding hands in a grocery store, the kissing in the park that begs "get a room..." Yup, I miss that normality...
While what he's dealing with is severe and necessary, it doesn't make me any less impatient. As I told him, I can barely wait in a line at a grocery store...This is hard.
Que se ra...I guess I wait. In the meantime, I hang art that reminds me that if forced to live a life alone, I do so quite nicely...and suddenly the glass gets just a little fuller.
I'm okay My Universe, just missing what will soon enough make the house a Home.
7:44 PM | Filed Under | 0 Comments