I woke up crying...I didn't think it would happen to me, but here I am dreaming. I dreampt he wasn't safe. I dreampt he killed
He couldn't be with me and I understood. I dreampt and I woke up shaken. talk about a nightmare for Halloween

Went out with the housemates. forgot my troubles. remembered my wings, and took some photos for the fans ;)
In summary, i ran into a lot of fraternity men. some beyond friendly, but all gentlemen. :)

Sleepy. fall carnival tomorrow. :) C has dealt with some skitzo-ness tonight.
i write my soldier this evening with silly complaints, but i feel better just telling him....
Hee hee, me and ms.v have the joke that after a day of his return, i'll be married. :)
One day maybe i'll fill him in. :-) or not. i'm such a commit a phobe

Its night. i have visited the men of the Fraternity. i increasingly catch myself intrigued by the pledges.
Hmmm. bad habits die slowly. i always want what i cant/shouldn't have.
La la la. we will have to see how this evening goes over
I miss my baby though. 7lbs 7oz of candy going his way. hopefully he'll appreciate.

Okay. truly. i miss my soldier. i have 8 months between now and then, and It's torture!

4am in the morning and i'm wide awake. missing my man, thinking about my pledge, worried about mail, and wondering about my
life...I really need out of this city. I want law school bad, but am doing little to get there. I keep envisioning someone
will just rescue me from this mundane town of clones, but as usual, i need to rescue my self. i'll be tired this evening.
j. call me. i miss you. tell your girl i say hi. :)
Boo. escapism is so tempting...i mean given fight or flight...it just sucks when you have to fight to run away.
honestly though...I just miss my soldier...life seems dull without him, but It's oh so occupied.

To say i have a favorite pledge is petty and slightly condescending, especially when its the pledge of your ex boyfriends.
Meaning, ofcourse, that I have one. :)
A true angel. Liberal, democrat, young, cute, and interested in someone else...so naturally we TM everyday.
Anywho, my friends seem to be a select few, especially with my time being literally gone after this thursday. so...
I'm deciding to keep this friendship as long as he'll allow. Sadly, i know myself, and know my weakness to get what I want,
But as I have just boxed like 15 lbs of candy to be shipped to IRAQ, I think I can resist.
I just need to be committed already. No ring, no wedding, no nothing. just the commitment that says, "No baby I won't Fuck
around, as long as you don't." :)
Sigh. I miss him like i miss air, people! Fucking torture. And leave it to me to want the impossible relationship. lol. what
else is new? Truth me the matter is, i figured it out. I love unavailable guys, because ultimately i'm unavailable. i've got
School, the sorority, future plans, and my love of being free. I mean, commitment doesn't fit too well. lol. trust me. i've
Him and the ex that i couldn't do it...which begs the question, why Mr.Boots?
if we go with the above reasoning, it i because he is unavailable until 2007, army and what not. But...then why do I want
The committment? i've outright said i would marry this boy, but that was a lie i know nothing about him! so why do i still
Contemplate it? toy with the idea? ask ms. v to be my maid of honor? perhaps because i'm bored? perhaps because its fun?
Perhaps because it keep everyone on their toes, including me as to what my real desires are...hmmm.