So ug. my new curse word. ug. double ug. this is what happens when you read english jewish writing. you get philosophical,
well not really. but Autograph man. i should get paid to promote it.
Other news. the pledge i've come to adore has become very single. therefore, i shall avoid him at all cost, and text and write
Might as well be in another city. boys House has become off limits to me again i think...
Actually thats not true i get many standing offers, however those with nobility gracefully bow out.

I got three emails. count them three. i'm "Euphoric" according to C, glowing according to a co-worker. All I know is Today is
a better day, knowing he's safe...He doesn't know it yet, but my sorority sisters will be sending him Christmas in a box.
Leave it to women, when their men are away, we'll do anything to make sure they feel like we're right there.
Because you know, nothing says i love you like chapstick and AA batteries for your whole unit :)
I'm silly i know. boooo on me. no one wants to hear about him. i read other peoples blog's who do that-Talk about their sig.
other- makes for bleh reading. SPEAKING OF WHICH. hee hee. i read some entries. intriguing to get a window into others lives.
I try not to read to often, its like dramatic television, before you know you're addicted and your life passes you by while
too busy looking into somebody elses
Speaking of... i made myself participate in yet another sleep over. very odd. this socialization with girls. i still prefer
the company of guys, but at present, they are all trying to get a girl, have a girl, have a wife, or want more than friendship
The latter being completely okay, except without doubt, its always the guys i want friendship with that want more, and the
Guys i end up wanting, that want only friendship.
Me. i say go figure. my housemate, ms.v, says its bad karma at this point anyway to get involved with anyone else.
Whole heartedly, i can admit i'm weak. distance does not make the heart grow fonder, it creates doubt. and questions, and
Choices... me personally. i'm weak. i enjoy having fun and instant gratification. fortunately all my wants are untouchable.
Which is prob psycho analytical. creating wants outside your reach, therefore making it impossible to fail despite your
temptations. creating that fail safe envioromnent. eg. wanting to break your diet but not having chocolate at the house, or
wanting someones boyfriend but knowing its too unlikely and therefore its easier to flirt with him, then say the single guy at
the bar. both are okay, as long as they stop before feelings get involved...but like i said, i know i'm weak.
So glad i never gave that guy my number in the end.
Anywho, C has a cold that i might be getting. which is weird cuz i haven't so much as seen him for 2 weeks.

C, i wish you the best. I wish i could be a better friend.

Okay. boo. s should be asleep. but i just had a great day. my area's are doing good. my committee is wonderful. i love my ls's
My chapter might die but sisters across the nation "Get it" and thats enough for me.
Selfish aside, autograph man is still fabulous although i didn't read and only got to chapter 2 last night.
Hee hee. okay now really selfish...i've started telling sorrors about mr.boots. While not incredibly Wow, its huge for me.
I mean huge. by telling girls i'm committee to this one guy. thats it. thats so it. i'm marked the loyal girl waiting and
I'll be expected to play the role. now fortunately, they're hundreds of miles away, and like mr.boots, subject to my
Interpretation of loyalty, commitment and fidelity. Now don't judge. subconsgously we all know everyone plays the game.
Some just better than other. some just more upfront. me personally. i dont put myself in a comprimising position of commitment
Thereby eliminating guilt, most judgement, and my sense of wasting time...
Overall though. i can rationalize. and thats key.
I can't comprehend falling, but i sure know how to justify catching myself.

Autograph Man. read it. its good.
I find myself caught between to worker. that which is and that which could be. like my pledging days once enlightened me to do
I know i must be prepared for sacrifice. i must give up comfort and work for what i already know could be mine: figurative or
not. i miss my soldier, but know he's not mine to miss. i also realize, he is only a question away from being mine. or not.
Its all really simple. Do you want me to wait? Do you want this to be real...the real trouble lies in accepting his answer.

I woke up crying...I didn't think it would happen to me, but here I am dreaming. I dreampt he wasn't safe. I dreampt he killed
He couldn't be with me and I understood. I dreampt and I woke up shaken. talk about a nightmare for Halloween

Went out with the housemates. forgot my troubles. remembered my wings, and took some photos for the fans ;)
In summary, i ran into a lot of fraternity men. some beyond friendly, but all gentlemen. :)