To C---

I know you're tired, kid, but you'll do fine--promise. love me

an update... that guy that was an ass... who made me flashback to what asses men can be... he apologised. he said he was
I know you want to break his arms J, but be content he won't ever lay a hand on me again.
Speaking of which, I started boxing again.
School. work. life heureashdr by the day.
sometimes i wish it was with someone or he could feel amazing and happy i am... but i am okay and happy with me too. :)
Lol. just as i write... HE IM's and shows me how good i could feel in someones arms... sigh
If only He was into me...

Home at last in bed and reminicent. Austin reminded me in 15 minutes what I've wanted for the past year.
While I'm fortunate to have the men i love in my life. if even for a moment. i know i share. with work. with fraternities.
with other women. the girl friends. school work etc. always something. but i have always been good about taking what i can...
Except now-Post book- i just know i can't lie myself into thinking he's into me.
Nonetheless, i'm happy with the men while they are busybodies make time to be my friends. J who's love in unwavering and is
Always willing to pick me up. yeah. he's got a girl. my marine zim even though sick. writes me to say hey. yeah. miles of
Distance. and there's so many more. and then there's the guys who by now might know i still in weak for them.
All and all. while they might not be into me. they do know me. and i love them. so maybe one day right... i'll get a guy thats
"Into me." until then single fun is fun

Well with slight annoyance i have located my i.d. in a plastic bag amidst trash. in the car the entire time. how peachy...
But again, good times were had. boys were met. my date was gorgeous. no hangover. yeah. :) no loss.

6th street in Austin without an ID.
can say i have had better times, but... can also say I've had worse.
All and all my Austin date deserted me at my request and I ended up attracting more guys than I could handle. By the time Austin came back, I had a
nice GI caressing my back, buying me a drink and trying to steal a kiss. :)
Not to be unclassy himself, Austin backed away, called my cellphone and told me he'd be waiting... so I ditched GI and was happy to find my way to Austin.
We talked in the hotels' hallway of his plans to impress me tomorrow.
lol. we shall see.
He has already failed the "He's into me" test.. .
I mean He did ditch me--
Yes I know, how unfair, it was at my request--but while at my request,  we have learned that if he's "into you," no amount of persuasion could have convinced Mr. Austin to abandon a hot sexy thing like myself in a strange city --which every other man wanted me.
(By the way--That was not conceit, that was observation)
I've never felt so desired on such "off" circumstances. lol.
Well anywho, nice pick me ups all around on a pretty down night.
just goes to show...I'm worth it.
Oh. if you couldn't tell, I finished the book,"He's just not that into you."
--No real revelations but definately reiterations...
Like "I'm worth pursuing. Really I am. "
Expect a list soon of other standards I'll be reiterating... until then the black cocktail dress looked fabulous...
Not gonna waste the pretty.

Well. i have packed and unpacked and packed again. if It's not in the suitcase i guess it aint coming
If anything i can buy it when i get there right
Right. okay miss me bunches...

The curse of Malibu Barbie

It's official: I'm freaking out.
I'm working on my second glass of wine...
I have a suitcase packed, and I have the horrid feeling I'm missing EVERYTHING that's important.

I have RSVP'd myself and my date and all is in order. I have printed out my itinerary and have verified all my rides to and from terminals.

I still need earings, and to call in late to work on Monday, but what on Earth could I be missing that makes me feel so horrified?

Well, in reality it's the idea of rejection.
Knowing no matter how beautiful I may look, no matter what I pack, it wont be anything or enough in comparison to the accomplishments of the family that surrounds me.

A sad reality, but I am determined to hold my own this time. I'm 23 for Christ sake. I can handle a wedding. Hell, I even got a date in another state. Do you know how hard that is?

In different news, it's C's mom's Birthday. I'd make a big deal out of it, but despite my love for him and his family, it's still not my place. So, I'll drop off her gift, some homemade salsa, and call it a night tonight.

hmmmm....no....bad thought, better left unattended to. Besides, I have shopping to do!!!!!

ugh....damn earings from hell.

well, i should run over to the mall. damn that dress....