Ha ha every one miss me. sugarcult tonight
Omg. he lied. i feel so bad. but it almost makes it more special. i'll fill you all in later

portions of what is said....

Heres an excert of what i'm writing my "stalker" who is quite cordial....

Dear old friend--
So you'll have to forgive me, i'm slightly buzzed as i write this and on four hours of sleep for the past two days...
grr, rigth now i am majorly stressed. massive work and school work to do, and no time to do it, and what am i doing???planning on going on a five hour road trip to party tommorrow, can we say "Not smart." i don't know why i do this to myself. it's 9:41 and not only am i ready to crash but, i ve already been to a bar and got jacked up. ugh, i hate myself right now, but such is the way i work sometimes.
 so i got this letter yesterday , and i've been thinking all hard, and i've come to one conclusion: i was a major jack in high school, middle school, elementary school, and probably am now.
i always did pick from the wrong batch of guys, and just when i though i had one worth specding time on, he would be a jack and break my heart, hence why i probably became the jaded ass  i can sometimes be.
i tried never to talk about people behind there back, but like the worst females i can be a chismosa, and the worst kind, the one thaat smiles when you see someone. i hope i've grown up from that, but somedays i cant even trust the people i love so, maybe not.
it seems everyone nowadays is in trouble, and i hope to stay out of it. A friend of mine used to tell me, when avoiding seeing me, that he was just trying to "stay out of trouble" --now frow a different vantage view i kinda understand what he means.

back in the day, say elementary, and like now i was a girl. the only thing that consumed me was education, popularity (then cheerleading, now the sorority) and boys. So--yeah, hear i thought i was growing up???
CR, does ring a bell. he was one of my girls cousins. Now she was  a dope girl, I wonder what happened to that chica?
 
Jokers Club. Wizard. the crew.  Serg---lol, yeah now that setting off all kind of memories, like, hmmm my first cigar.  then...yeah the first time a guy told me not to kiss him on the lips for fear it would mean something---somethings, yeah you don't forget.
......

Yeah, okay..update aside from that--> i sent HIM to dinner with his parents, with last night still on him. I feel horrid and ashamed, thinking they might think some cheap scandal-ass girlfinally degraded their little boy.  Worse, i'm scarred that He might think I intentionally meant to claim Him for my own. I didn't and i wouldn't, but deep down, i like knowing (even though it happened accidenttly) the girl that served me my long-island ice tea, can now clearly see (for the next day or two) while he doesn't have a ring, he's obviously a marked man.
in all fairness, picture day was today, it was raining,  and i had 4 hours of sleep, and yeah, as i put makeup on to cover the rings under my eyes, i was glad. and even though my sweater covered my adventure from last night,  i couldn't help smiling.  other boys could have called me, but again, i was right where i wanted to be.

alguien puede decía,que está noche estoy muy especial. ~ hee hee :)

interesting

Ever get an email from someone who obviously knows you and then you're not quite sure if you know them...Such is the case tahis evening, allthough i must say the subject title: "Old friend from the grave"  is slightly un-nerving. For the record I am restating: although I am very cute, and well mannered, this dillusion is just in my head. All stalkers, and would be weirdos should leave me alone. Got it? NO STALKERS. NO WEIRDOS, Have had enough of them in my life.

So quick update: yeah I'm still high. I'll come down, and it'll be sad, but till then, yeah, just let me be happy. It's been so long, I deserve it. (Don't you think?)

Playa Playa asking for his, and I ask for mine, the mutual game exchange is still so laughable.

J-who ever wrote me tonight is from EPyT, aka your barrio, so if s/he's nuts, ya better get my back. PS. where r u?????? comment? number? something?

Going on three hours...

So went to sleep at 5am, woke up at 7am, meetings from 9-4pm, slept an hour around 7pm, and when HE called at 8pm, after a whole afternoon of sleeping in,  all I could do is smile. Somehow despite getting only 3 hours of combined sleep in the past 24, I'm feeling so happy. What can I say guys-- He's worth it. And I know, I know, "I'm head-sprung" as the Marine would put it, and "in-check" as Playa Playa calls it, but you know what: He calls me at 8 "just because." and yeah there's "no commitment."  J yell at me if need be, but damn. (HEY CALL ME--I don't have your new number)
So....Yeah, it's disgusting, it's 9 months in the making but ya know,  in one moment everything just became "right." 

From the girl next door, "Just go with it"

Respose to my Marine

My Marine writes:

A Marine as seen by...

Himself:
A handsome, buff, highly trained professional killer
and female idol who carries a finely honed K-Bar,
wears a crisp 8-point cammie cover and is always on
time due to the absolute reliability of his Seiko
digital watch.

His Wife:
A stinking, gross, foul mouthed lovable bum who
arrives back at home every few months with a seabag
full of dirty utilities, a huge Seiko watch, an
oversized knife, a filthy hat and hornier then hell.

Headquarters Marine Corps:
A drunken, brawling, HMMWV-stealing, woman-corrupting
"cumshaw artist" who wears a Seiko watch, an
unauthorized K-Bar and a squared-away cover.

His Commanding Officer:
A fine specimen of a drunken, brawling,
HMMWV-stealing, woman-corrupting bullshitter with an
incredibly accurate Seiko watch, a finely honed razor
sharp K-Bar and a salty cammie cover.  

What others have said:

Congress:
Marines are overpaid, overrated tax burdens who are
indispensable since they volunteer to go anywhere at
any time and kill whoever they're told to kill, as
long as they can drink, brawl, steal HMMWVs, corrupt
women and sing dirty songs while wearing cammies,
oversized knives, Seiko watches and really screwed-up
8-point covers that don't look like the Army's.

Ronald Reagan, former President of the United States:
"Some people live an entire lifetime and wonder if
they've ever made a difference in the world.  Marines
don't have that problem."

General Douglas MacArthur, US Army:
". . . these Marines have the swagger, confidence and
hardness that must have been in Stonewall Jackson's
Army of the Shenandoah. They remind me of the
Coldstream Guards at Dunkirk."

Admiral Chester Nimitz, US Navy, on the Marine Corps'
battle for Iwo Jima:  
"Uncommon valor was a common virtue"

General Douglas MacArthur, US Army:
"I have just returned from visiting the Marines at the
front.  There is not a finer fighting organization in
the world!"

LtCol T R Fehrenbach, USA, in "This Kind of War":  
"The man who will go where his colors go without
asking, who will fight a phantom foe in a jungle or a
mountain range, and who will suffer and die in the
midst of incredible hardship, without complaint, is
still what he has always been, from Imperial Rome to
sceptered Britain to democratic America.  He is the
stuff of which legends are made. His pride is his
colors and his regiment, his training hard and
thorough and coldly realistic, to fit him for what he
must face, and his obedience is to his orders. As a
legionnaire, he held the gates of civilization for the
classical world ... today he is called United States
Marine."

An Anonymous Canadian Citizen:  
"Marines are about the most peculiar breed of human
beings I have ever witnessed. They treat their service
as if it was some kind of cult, plastering their
emblem on almost everything they own, making
themselves up to look like insane fanatics with
haircuts so short as to be ungentlemanly, worshipping
their Commandant as if he was a god, and making weird
animal noises like a band of savages. They'll fight
like rabid dogs at the drop of a hat just for the sake
of a little action and are the cockiest SOBs I've ever
known. Most have the foulest mouths and drink well
beyond man's normal limits, but their high spirits and
sense of brotherhood set them apart and, generally
speaking, of the United States Marines with whom I've
come in contact, are the most professional warriors
and the finest men I've had the pleasure to meet. "

General John J "Black Jack" Pershing, US Army:
"The deadliest weapon in the world is a Marine and his
rifle! "

General Mark Clark, US Army:
"The more Marines I have around the better I like it!
"

General Johnson, US Army:
"I can never again see a United States Marine without
experiencing a feeling of reverence. "

Richard Harding Davis, war correspondent (1885):
"The Marines have landed, and the situation is well in
hand."

A Marine Drill Instructor at Parris Island:
"Did you come here just to spoil my beloved Corps,
maggot?"

A boot camp weapons coach:
"To a Marine, happiness is a belt-fed weapon."

LtCol Oliver North, USMC (ret):
"The only people I like beside my wife and kids are
Marines."

MajGen J N Mattis, CG, 1st MarDiv - Iraq, March 2003:
"You are part of the world's most feared and trusted
fighting force.  Engage your brain before you engage
your weapon.  Share your courage with each other as we
enter theuncertain terrain north of our Line of
Departure.  Keep faith in your comrades on your left
and right and Marine Air overhead.  Fight with a happy
heart and a strong spirit.  For the mission's sake,
our country's sake and the sake of the men who carried
the Division's colors in past battles -- who fought
for life and never lost their nerve -- carry out your
mission and keep your honor clean.  Demonstrate to the
world there is 'No Better Friend, No Worse Enemy' than
a United States Marine."

Eleanor Roosevelt - 1945:
"The Marines I have seen around the world have the
cleanest bodies, the filthiest minds, the highest
morale, and the lowest morals of any group I have ever
seen.  Thank God for the United States Marine Corps."

An Anonymous US Marine:
"I recently attended a Kansas City Chiefs football
game at Arrowhead Stadium. It was their annual
Veteran's Day tribute so members of all the services
were asked to participate in the festivities.

A color guard for the National Anthem was provided by
the Buffalo Soldiers Association. They looked very
sharp in their 1800s-era US Army Cavalry uniforms.
Following that, the Navy parachute team put on an
impressive display that brought cheers from the 78,000
football fans in attendance. Shortly thereafter, we
were treated to the truly awesome sight of an Air
Force B-2 Spirit stealth bomber flyover as well as a
few other aircraft.  All of these sights -- but
especially the B-2 -- were truly appreciated by the
crowd who let it be known by their cheers.

I expected that was all we would see of the US
Military that day.  I thought we would see a high
school or college marching band during half-time. Few
watch those shows anyway because they have to go to
the head or grab another beer during the intermission.

Shortly before half-time, however, I looked down on
the sidelines near the end zone and saw the Marine
Corps' Silent Drill Team forming up.  As the half-time
show started, the players left the field and the
announcer came on the public address system to advise
us of the Drill Team's performance.  Many of us
Marines have seen these performances in the past and
they're always awe-inspiring. I didn't expect that the
large civilian crowd of football fans would be as
appreciative of the Drill Team as they had been of the
high-tech B-2 or the daring of the Navy parachute
team. However, I was on the edge of my seat.  As the
Drill Team marched onto the field, the crowd grew
noticeably quieter.  Soon, the team was fully into
their demonstration.  The stadium was absolutely
silent.

From high in the stands' upper reaches where my seats
were, I was able to hear the "snap" and "pop" of hands
striking rifles.  Both big screen "Jumbotron"
scoreboards displayed close ups of the Marines as they
went through their routine. As they completed their
demonstration and lined up for the inspection, the
crowd began cheering as the Marines twirled their
rifles in impossible fashion.  Then came the
inspection.  Again, the crowd fell silent and watched
intently as rifles were thrown, caught, twirled,
inspected and thrown some more. Each well-practiced
feat brought a "wow" or "did you see that?" from those
sitting around me.

I sat there in silent pride as I watched my brother
Marines exit the field.  A young girl behind me asked
her mother a question about how the Marines learn to
do the things they just did. The mother replied, "They
practice long and hard and they're Marines; they're
the best."

Well Babydoll, you know as well as I do how long that dream has been out of my sight but, I tell ya what...
I still have a decal on my old truck,  and I can still remember the verses clear...
Devildogs, Shocktroops,
Blood-Sucking War Machines,
Ready to Fight, Ready to Kill,
Ready to Die but Never Will,
Marines make the Blood Flow,
Blood Makes the Grass Grow-
Semper Fi Do or Die! oo-Rah!!

You never leave whats in your heart...Seper Fidelis.

just when i think im gonna tell a story, HE IM's....and then what....like an idiot, there i go

no particuliar reason for this song, doesnt express my feelings or emotions towards anyone, just found it, liked it, thought i'd throw it up here, two hours later, one fight and make up session later, we're still IM'ing
Highlife 
Counting Crows
Album: This Desert Life

All my friends got flowers in their eyes
But I got none this season
All of last years blooms have gone and died
Time doesn't give a reason
Hey baby, do you ask yourself sometimes
What you need to be forgiven?
Everything that you've ever done wrong
Is the reason that I'm driven
Straight to you
Waiting here for you
Wanting to tell you
How I get my ends and my beginnings mixed up too
Just the way you do
Thought if I told you
You might want to stay for just another day or two
Waiting for the trains that just never come
Beginning to believe in
the disappearing nature of the people we have been
We have begun to change into the worst kind of people
So unkind
Oh apologies, no apologies, this apology
Doesn't describe the way it feels to feel for you
Waiting here for you
Wanting to tell you
How I find myself slowly disappearing too
Just the way you do
Thought if I told you
You might want to help me to remain with you
I just wanna stay for a little while
I wanna stay for a little while
There's a night life falling down on me
I just feel like a change
Beneath the sun in the summer,
a sea of flowers won't bloom without the rain
But oh, this desert life, this high life
Here at the dying end of the day
I wasn't made for this scene baby
But I was made in this scene
And baby it's just my way
I don't wanna go home alone, I wanna come on home to you
Waiting here for you
Wanting to tell you
How I line my sky with all the silver I can use
Just the way you do
Thought if I told you