Real Housewives of the Arctic Tundra

So Rumor has it there were auditions for "Real Housewives of Alaska" around my neck of the woods...I know one of the girls who auditioned, she was my real estate agent...also a Miss Something of Somewhere pageant queen. It could happen, and I would laugh....


ME...Let me introduce you to the "REAL" Housewives of Alaska...We are bored. We complain. We complain lot. We have a Wal-mart and a Fred Meyers, and that is it...the nearest Bed Bath and Beyond is an 8 hour trip away, and thats if you're flying. I -personally-have gotten into confrontations at a supermarket for "cutting in line" on a "SALE" day...It's drama. The ratings would go through the roof....


But let me share what Pooh Bear asked..."what do spouses do all day?" Well, we shovel snow. Then, 4 hours later, we shovel again. :) No lie....When one is left to depend on one's self, when there man is away (lets just be gender biased for the moment), we do EVERYTHING. 


We run the household, pay the bills, and basically run our mans life with a piece of paper called Power of Attorney. Mundane you may think, but Try closing a house and signing half your mans credit away into a mortgage because YOU can...Its nerve wracking. Especially when you know, it could be the biggest mistake of your lives....


But that's the "accepted" part of our lives. What most of society comprehends. To order a pizza, using my husbands credit card, I need a piece of paper granting me permission to do so...Okay, boring. 


The fun is when you develop "groups" and "friends" of spouses together. For some reason, -called BOREDOM-, everyone is "crafty." Some people knit, others "sew purses," some make bracelets, and then they all sell them to each other. Its bizarre, but it all happens at the "bazaar." No lie. Biggest freaking even of the year, the bazaar. SMH. 


But genuinely its good hearted women, who are just trying to fill up there time. I am not such a woman. I am a woman on a mission. I want employment, and I don't want to run a "home business" (which isn't licenced 99.9% of the time) to do so. 


I instead end up filling my time "do good-ing." Like volunteering at the community thrift store. OR watching another deployed mom's kids for a bit...OR--Shoveling a driveway for my Pregnant friend!  


--But here's the thing with Friends "up here"...You are limited. The place I live is SMALL...Like very small...like 3000 small....and the friends you make can REALLY impact your lives. 


For example, My three friends, Pregnant Wife, Loud Wife, and Seasoned Wife...Let me tell you how these personalities play into my life, as they are my ONLY "friends" here. 


Pregnant Wife, I met through my husband. His best friends' brother is stationed up here, and they met at the firing range, SO naturally, the wives meet, and naturally the "men" go on deployment within a week of one another. Almost by natural force, we became a "support" for one another. And by one another, I mean, She calls crying, I go over. She's scared someone may break into the house, I go over. The kids need watching, I go over. She is crying again, I go over. NOW...mind you she is the SWEETEST most up beat person I have met up here. She is all about, being "chipper" and "loves the snow" and "isn't Alaska great" and is so in love with her husband and sends him a letter EVERY DAY! and wow...a lot to live up to...and she lent me her trailer for the move, so yeah...Pycho happy, unless she's pregnant crying. But she's a doll, and I have decided to just not answer my phone after 10 pm anymore. Because, despite her sweetness, she has no recollection at moments that  I am alone too! I am scared someone breaks into my house, I grab a 40. If my driveway is full of snow, I am out there with a shovel myself. And, albeit that I have no job at the moment, I do have a life....but she is a freeking Ray of Sunshine in the cloudiness, so I Like her, and she inspires me to be a "better wife," and love where I am, because "happiness is a choice..." --Psycho happy that one. 


Loud Wife, I met through my husband. The husband's worked in the office for about two weeks together. They liked one another, and naturally the wives should meet. She's loud and says exactly whats on her mind to complete strangers. HATES ALASKA, and tells anyone who's in her way where to put it. She scares me sometimes, but she's a bad ass. I've offered to take care of her kid, but she's the independent type that needs no help from no one. Her husbands leaving in a few days, and she's like, "fuck it, I'm taking the kid and the dog, and I'm leaving until he gets back." --End of story...Crazy independant, that one.


Seasoned Wife, I met through my husband (get the theme). She is the wife of my husbands boss. And at first, I am sure "mandated by her husband to "check on me" when my husband left...Except, her husband leaves in a few days also (ironically with Loud wifes husband)...She is the one crying all the time. Like in the Super Market. Crying. and she's done this for YEARS....15++++ years....She hates Alaska, but I think its because she'll be alone, with her 3 kids....She WANTS to go down to the Lower 48, but as it hasn't been announced, I think she's being forced to hack it up here....After all the kids are in school. So...until summer, she should stay,...and by that time husband should be home...She Hates it and Cries A  LOT that one....


And that's it...there is my support group. Mind you, I could go and say "hello" to the women at my husbands office (which I do), or go to spouse meetings (which I do), but to say, come help me pick out some wall color to paint my kitchen, there are the three....


So I've got crying and mega happy to be here bi-polar pregnant chick that I love, but she is a handful, independant to a state of bitchy wife who's leaving, and Cries a-lot wife who HATEs it here. 


No balance. At all. Its either, "Isn't Alaska the best thing on earth," or "I hate this place."  --Me I'm in the middle. I'm like, eh, I hate shoveling. I hate not being near my family. Fearing for your life while driving on ice is a scary thing- but the house I have is great, and my husband love's it out here, and I like shopping on Ebay and Amazon anyways, so yeah, it sucks, but I'm not going to make it worse by dwelling on it kinda gal. 


Maybe I'm the one out of wak. Maybe I need to just need to "LOVE IT!!!" FAKE SMILE!!! ==which is what I do btw, when my husband ask...He's on deployment, he doesn't need to worry. 


Le Sigh. So thats my social group, and the real cast members of "REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ALASKA"


xoxoxo, 
DCGG