My thoughts can't keep up with the page...

If only you knew....

Lately, that's the sentence on my mind. If only you knew.....

Well let us begin with something said weeks ago:

Prayer. Do I pray. More often then never, and even more now.
But let me qualify my statement.
I don't look to prayer as my slot machine, and a higher being as some glorious casino ready to pay out, if I just say the right magic words.
In the words and vision of  life as a 1L, I don't use Prayer, like it's an element in Contract.
quid pro quo. This for that.
I'm guessing, if there is a higher power, and I'm pretty sure there is, (s)he/the concept, is not one for wagers. I mean after all, what could I really offer?
If I'm a good hearted/spirited/[insert your choice of quality] here, I'm guessing this supreme being is well aware of my devotions, and needs no "trinkets" of my devotion....
My not eating choclate for a week is not gonna get me the "A" I need or want in a course, it won't make me thin or "prettier" (because everyone is gorgeous, and truly, I believe that I'm pretty damn hott....lol), but really, my bargaining skills aren't gonna do much for a higher power that supposably created everything right? I mean what could ya really offer? your soul? Um, hello? the words, no duh.....and weren't ya gonna do that anyway, come into play....I mean really, whats the alternative?

If you'd like a synopsis on "that particuliar" religious beliefs of mine and the irony of it all, see
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AalXl2dc0Kk&mode=related&search=

Don't be offended, or do. it just makes me laugh. Vicious cycle indeed.

So yes, I pray. in fact I've been to our chapel often lately. Odd thing. Our school used to be an all girls catholic school. so right in the middle of all the hustle and bustle. there it is.

Last week I had the opportunity to hear "We shall overcome"....amazing.

Sigh. Jenna 6.
Anyone else as excited and happy? I hope you all are keeping tabs.
REMEMBER its not over yet. Mychal Bell is still in jail.  He and his parents still need support.  I happen to know the attorneys working on this trial. and
 For up to date action I can say http://www.freethejena6.org/
is a pretty great source.
Buy a shirt, write a blog, call a politician, and end this nonsense.
You heard me nonsense.
I hardly ever go there, but if people can't get past the superficial exteriors, well what does that say about your interior. (See above)

Sigh. thats been the bulk of it. Trying to fight for justice, while keeping an A.
Oh, yeah, I got an A.
Lots of work, and little sleep, with no guarantees that the ends justify the means, but hey...the Mychal Bells of the world need my help.

I'm getting it little universe. I'm finding my place. Not in that social circle of "acceptance" but in that marginalized circle of dreamers.

Last note, before I return to Torts....
My mom sent me a picture of my baby sister the other night. I say baby, because she's still a little girl to me, but she's 17 now. Mychal Bells age.
Now, I never claimed to have much. Life of hard knocks, with a school that had security guards that were crooked enough to get me out of class.....
but....in this world I grew up. Up and out. And I'm in law school now. Two masters under my belt, and more debt then you could guess, but trying....
and when I call my mom crying and ask her why I even bother....she didn't make me believe her I needed to go on until I saw a picture of my baby sister....

Now. Please don't think. Homecoming, or Prom, or Some Great high school even.
No.... My sister was sleeping.

My sister was sleeping on a card-board box.

Please don't get me wrong, its not as bad as you may think...It's just, we don't have carpet. Actually we don't have tile either. its concrete. Foundation. But its home. Carpet is expensive, and my mom pays the morgage on the house, and when its paid off, well its will be HER home. and it just never mattered.
But weathers gotten cold, and if you ever watch TV on the floor, well, your butts gonna freeze. So my sister in all of her wisdom, brought some huge cardboard box home, and set it up on her floor.

What gets me most. Is over the summer, when I was home....she'd give up her bed and sleep on that cardboard box, just so I could have a bed.  Isn't that something?

Well anyways, that was the picture. My sister was peacefully asleep on a cardboard box.
The caption read "This is why."