"My homeboys tried to warn me, but that butt you got makes me so confident of your current well-being and future child-rearing potential." -Julia Longoria
ABOUT DCGossipGirl
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Danger, MRS. Robinson, Danger...
After years of practice, I've learned sometimes relationships are sustained on letting things alone, ommitting certain key facts, and yes, even lying.
Likewise, some policies like Don't Ask, Don't tell make people just a little more comfortable. While I advocate for persons of any sexual preference to do whatever the hell they want, openly or otherwise, I see blatant honesty as the proverbial apple that ends all bliss. The tree of wisdom is wicked, indeed.
After all, no one really wants to know everything about another person. We say we do, but we don't.
You don't want to know your best friend has a drug problem. You never want to admit your mother drinks too much. And, no, you do not want to know where you stand in someone elses eyes should they learn you slept with a married man.
So, this afternoon I kept my proverbial mouth shut. The keyboard was assaulted by quick strikes to the delete button.....
What would a friend say to my improprieties? I didn't want to find out.
Dejavu. Two days ago. I hit that delete button in a very different way.
Status messages were flashing across my screen. An ex boyfriend had wanted to let me know "he's okay..." (Which translates to "I'm okay without you.") Status update reads: "new relationship."
My evil mind of an honest Eve, quickly creates a mental reply to this status. "Yeah bitch, but I'll always have his virginity..." I type "happy for you."
Status updates. ' Someones' twitter feed. 'His' blog updates I'll never be mentioned in... We say we want to know...but we don't. It's always the same. "I'm okay."
***
I reveal far too much for "normal" relationships...perhaps why I protect the ones I have so fiercely with edits and omissions.
***
I left my mother's house only two months after turning fifteen. A year after that, my father left me at a university dorm room. Before being able to legally drink alcohol, I had two bachelorette degrees. It was conducive to not needing to tell anyone anything. Mistakes get made. Move on. Say nothing. Succeed. Everyones happy.
***
Learning of another friend's wives latest degree...I mentally reply, "Did you ever tell your wife about us?" I type, "That's great. How is your wife?" I rationalize, no matter how much he knew I loved him, he went back to his family. I understood then, and I respect it now. Things left unspoken.
***
About to reveal my own mismanagement of such a former life -where I was never accountable to anyone but myself and never held the title of MRS. anyone- I paused. I edited. I deleted.
What would a friend say to my improprieties? I didn't want to find out. I suppose in the end he'd just shrug and smirk.
As I closed the chat boxes and entered back into the life of answering a husband's questions on who was that, and what was I talking about, I paused, edited, and omitted. Everyones happy.
Likewise, some policies like Don't Ask, Don't tell make people just a little more comfortable. While I advocate for persons of any sexual preference to do whatever the hell they want, openly or otherwise, I see blatant honesty as the proverbial apple that ends all bliss. The tree of wisdom is wicked, indeed.
After all, no one really wants to know everything about another person. We say we do, but we don't.
You don't want to know your best friend has a drug problem. You never want to admit your mother drinks too much. And, no, you do not want to know where you stand in someone elses eyes should they learn you slept with a married man.
So, this afternoon I kept my proverbial mouth shut. The keyboard was assaulted by quick strikes to the delete button.....
What would a friend say to my improprieties? I didn't want to find out.
Dejavu. Two days ago. I hit that delete button in a very different way.
Status messages were flashing across my screen. An ex boyfriend had wanted to let me know "he's okay..." (Which translates to "I'm okay without you.") Status update reads: "new relationship."
My evil mind of an honest Eve, quickly creates a mental reply to this status. "Yeah bitch, but I'll always have his virginity..." I type "happy for you."
Status updates. ' Someones' twitter feed. 'His' blog updates I'll never be mentioned in... We say we want to know...but we don't. It's always the same. "I'm okay."
***
I reveal far too much for "normal" relationships...perhaps why I protect the ones I have so fiercely with edits and omissions.
***
I left my mother's house only two months after turning fifteen. A year after that, my father left me at a university dorm room. Before being able to legally drink alcohol, I had two bachelorette degrees. It was conducive to not needing to tell anyone anything. Mistakes get made. Move on. Say nothing. Succeed. Everyones happy.
***
Learning of another friend's wives latest degree...I mentally reply, "Did you ever tell your wife about us?" I type, "That's great. How is your wife?" I rationalize, no matter how much he knew I loved him, he went back to his family. I understood then, and I respect it now. Things left unspoken.
***
About to reveal my own mismanagement of such a former life -where I was never accountable to anyone but myself and never held the title of MRS. anyone- I paused. I edited. I deleted.
What would a friend say to my improprieties? I didn't want to find out. I suppose in the end he'd just shrug and smirk.
As I closed the chat boxes and entered back into the life of answering a husband's questions on who was that, and what was I talking about, I paused, edited, and omitted. Everyones happy.
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Not enough ambien
Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell. --Edna St. Vincent Millay
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Red wine and ambien...
Watching The Unit is NOT a good way to fall asleep. The cat is making noise and I have jumpy nerves. I keep eyeing my nightstand, and think, my landlord would be pissed if I shot a mirror. Well, its a red wine and ambien night.
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One Unit Wife to Another
And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a help meet for him.
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Good night, sweetheart.
Night two. The movers have come and gone. And seemingly so has my husband.
As I watched him teary eyed get through security, I bit my lip with resolve that it will only be two weeks.
Mind you, we've never been apart for longer than a night and the two times that happened were hard then, too.
But the moment last night, was seeing an elderly man see his elderly wife off through security just as teary eyed as I was. Like me, he waited until security was done and waived til she couldn't be seen.
I was tempted to ask this perfect stranger, "Does it ever get easier?" But his face said it all.
I knew then, the better question was, " Do you ever really want it to?" So I let myself cry, and was thankful I had a man to love enough to cry for when gone.
With that said, I'm taking ambien to sleep. Thinking, where he's at, its three o' clock in the morning...
http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?xl=xl_blazer&v=EL-D2K0jOIw
As I watched him teary eyed get through security, I bit my lip with resolve that it will only be two weeks.
Mind you, we've never been apart for longer than a night and the two times that happened were hard then, too.
But the moment last night, was seeing an elderly man see his elderly wife off through security just as teary eyed as I was. Like me, he waited until security was done and waived til she couldn't be seen.
I was tempted to ask this perfect stranger, "Does it ever get easier?" But his face said it all.
I knew then, the better question was, " Do you ever really want it to?" So I let myself cry, and was thankful I had a man to love enough to cry for when gone.
With that said, I'm taking ambien to sleep. Thinking, where he's at, its three o' clock in the morning...
http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?xl=xl_blazer&v=EL-D2K0jOIw
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12:55 AM | Filed Under | 0 Comments