chasing pavements- the story behind the status

Like an idiot, I got wrapped up before finals.
In a fruitless campaign, fruitless obligations, and my hopeful mind's notion that I could ever be more than a summer romance, spring break affair, or (admittedly) that girl you just couldn't quite say 'no' to.

But alas, reality takes work. The admittedly lazy: well I suppose we would have problems with all the bloody details that go into sustaining an interest.

I once asked a 3L, if I tried to kiss him if he would run away. His response. I don't know how to run away.

Well, my guess is track season has already begun. Lets see if we go for a run tomorrow; shall we?
So, do I give up or do I just keep chasing pavements?

love,
me

Say So, Uh huh her

Say So

mobile blog test one

its that time again...

Ohhhh-9

In a very interesting change of events, the new year has come, along with my favorite sister, and yet another semester. In truth, I'm ecstatic. Life in short is Wow.
In the feed: My ex is apparently dating, which thrills me, as I haven't missed him since the day he left.
In the news: My favorite Someone, is also seemingly happy-and I must say, I am very happy for Him-- although I am saddened at the prospect that the soonest visit I may have is delayed until April. Alas, the 'politics' of a MR. Busybody who is always pencilled into my schedule.

Otherwise, I have found myself alone and yet perhaps Finally liked?
-the break down- think base; not neurotic-
Daily messages from "Michigan" and my "gay" ex-bf. keep my confidences up.
Invites from my colleagues keep me feeling popular.
My favorite sister keeps me guessing.
My mom keeps me grounded.
My dad keeps my phone on.
My J keeps me thinking I really may be everything everyone says.

New charectors to as my world turns.
Well there's S. who for all purposes has become my "BFF" or butt buddy - yeah kill me now if that gets started.
shes well- too busy for me- but equalibrium will catch us.

Next is above mentioned "Michigan" who is dying to sleep with me and every other female, sadly making it impossible.

Hmmm. there's my new found "5th grade crush" who i met over winter, and will never see again.

Finally, there's SA... who since summer ive missed and since November not spoken to. Still has my heart that one,

All in all, everyone is perfect, and as alone as I am, I'm not at all lonely. Semester is charted...It's going to be a great year!

I'm SAVED!!!! Maybe?

Dreams are supposedly an interpretation of our current stresses,... right?

Thus, when I wake up from being "saved" from death, by none other than the invisible presence of Jesus Christ, I should just shake it off as, --"you really drank too much Riesling lat night hon, hon."

But I didn't. Well, I did. But who in their right mind DREAMS of JESUS?

Me, apparently.
Now this is beyond wild.

A car I am somehow "driving" but not in control of begins to fall off of a major highway. In my seconds of peril, I am smiling not concerned, and look out the window, as if angels are carrying me, and recite some mantra that I can not remember verbatim, but is the equivalent of
"Praise be to Jesus, I believe. I will be saved."

--Now, I was raised Catholic....So the mind I'm sure reached back for that one....BUT C'MON!

JESUS! Jesus the Man, Jesus? Are you kidding me.

Well, in the dream --like some car racing game -where if you totally wreck or fly off the highway, you're transported back to where you were right before the wreck.... this is what occurs.
"Praise be to Jesus, I believe. I will be saved."

I haven't gone to a service in (HAHA) God knows how long? but maybe just maybe I should start?

I don't EVEN drive!!!! I'm long ago gave up the Catholic Church. I have often considered my copy of the Tao of Pooh my soul source to religion. But there it is....dreaming of the Man. They say God works in mysterious ways....I think so does excessive drinking. Nonetheless, Jesus.

My epiphany: it's like having a superstar shake your hand.

http://personals.aol.com/articles/2008/09/02/marriage-in-your-mates-genes/?icid=100214839x1208560192x1200495787

http://personals.aol.com/articles/2008/06/20/you-might-be-better-off-single-if/?icid=AANeuANxAtxt

Suitible and Yet Altered Quote

Do you think I relish the fact that I have to act like Mary Sunshine 24/7 to be considered a lady? I am the Marcia fucking Brady of DC's East Side, and sometimes I want to kill myself.