Dear Universe, aka All,
Lately, my immediate inclination is to add media, a witty comment, or vague lyrics and let the readers interpret them as they may; but, alas, my antics have caused worry.
So to reassure all, I am "okay." Temporary insanity. But no worries, they make pills and elixirs for my ails...Thus, let me fill in my little universe.
A new boy will be joining the Hustlers, and being a friend of a friend, I have decided to take him under my wing. As he stated, he is now part of my "Entourage." Said Entourage has now taken me to movies, out to happy hours, and been the recipient of my home made cooking goodness...No. We are NOT together. He is cool, and as long as he heeds the warning not to fall for anyone at school, he might be okay. Lol. --But then again, I couldn't pull that when I had two years of knowing better, could I??? Hopefully, Entourage is smarter than me.
Speaking of happy hours, and not one to stick to the script of being the DC GossipGirl, but I will say I am interested in seeing who will be the Queen Bee-yonce next term. "A diva is the female version of the Hustler..." --It is clear that S still seeks the limelight, and on that topic we finally spoke. Short, and via text, but friendly. I'm good.
As to the 3L, who I can only now assume is graduated (?), he has been renamed, by the ladies who I spent my Barristers, and graduation celebrations with. A la, the movie Harvard. The girls have named graduating 3L "homeless"--No, nott because he isn't attractive, or intellegient, etc, etc, I don't want anyone misinterpretting. Against all my brain matter, I still find that man "cha cha cha"*, -remember, I very much was caught up, so we know he had to be good...-Or very very bad...but...point, he is "Homeless," because the girls swear they never saw this man in their lives, and asked me continually if he was even enrolled in the school. Literally, our Editors insight, "he's homeless, and just sneaks into class. I've never seen him in my life"
--Mind you, this was week 2 of celebrations. But yet, it's not shocking.
Btw, if he happens to be reading, which I doubt....I should address his frequent appearances:
Dear Homeless, please realize people think my heart is crushed because of you....and truth be told it was. Yes, I'm not dense, I realize we never actually dated. But girls are stupid and sometimes we get caught up. It was my fault for breaking all the rules, and thinking I could like a boy at school without reprucussions. But people talk, and people did ask, and yes, while you think no one notices you....they did. And when you left, they noticed that too.
Nonetheless, perhaps as my Ipod blares "Fighter" by Christina Aguillera, and I strap on gloves to hit at air, I'll actually thank my Homeless for making me that much stronger. If had to fall, and I'm glad it was him, he remained a gentleman. A disappearing magician of a gentleman, but I guess he always knew how to pull a Superman.
(BTW, if you've remembered a previous post.... I picked the wrong toy for that song....(hint, hint: I can't punch the new shiny toy...) Also, BTW, gym time has become an everyday occurence. Lets see if it works. doing more crunches than cookie monster should get me smewhere.
Okay, well that's all.
Oh wait...PSA...I am still single, btw. (despite J kicking me out of the club) ---It seems to be rumored that my "friends" are "relationships"--um, lets end that cycle shall we.
It is summer, and everyone is giving into their hedonistic ways. Myself of course included.
Sleep tight universe.
"The world believes it, and I'm going crazy"
Lately I've been hard to reach, I've been too long on my own
Everybody has a private world, where they can be alone
Are you calling me? Are you trying to get through?
Are you reaching out for me? I'm reaching out for you
Well you say I’m crazy cause I can’t make up my mind
But I wont let it faze me instead I'll leave all these thoughts behind
Cause they say that you got some one who’s wasting your time
Well that’s alright cause I got someone who’s wasting mine
It’s in the way you move
Baby what you’re doing to me?
I can’t stand it I can’t hold back
... see the guys tryna’ holla?
... I don’t want to bother you,
Cuz I'm independent but you got my attention
There must be an angel with a smile on her face
When she thought up that I should be with you.
Everybody has a private world, where they can be alone
Are you calling me? Are you trying to get through?
Are you reaching out for me? I'm reaching out for you
Well you say I’m crazy cause I can’t make up my mind
But I wont let it faze me instead I'll leave all these thoughts behind
Cause they say that you got some one who’s wasting your time
Well that’s alright cause I got someone who’s wasting mine
It’s in the way you move
Baby what you’re doing to me?
I can’t stand it I can’t hold back
... see the guys tryna’ holla?
... I don’t want to bother you,
Cuz I'm independent but you got my attention
There must be an angel with a smile on her face
When she thought up that I should be with you.
Sometimes you get the honey, sometimes you get the sting...
My Warrior friend told me in the worst way:
"I've forgotten where I come from...."
Nothing could have hurt more. And I was pissed. Where did he get off....Then this morning I realized, I miss speaking Zulu! Why? When did I stop speaking Lakota, or better my own tounge? Another identity realization. Maybe.
This morning I spent $30 to pay for two memberships, in organizations I felt I deeply needed.
My new goal this summer: To have myself together by August 10th.
Body, Mind...and now, a neglected Spirit.
****
In other news...all my favorite men messaged sine someone special. But alas, darlin' I could never be distraught, if only you would keep me in your thoughts.
Have you and my universe in mine.
: I blurted it out; it was like word vomit.
: Then you slipped in that word vomit and you fell on your ass now you're covered in word vomit.
: Then you slipped in that word vomit and you fell on your ass now you're covered in word vomit.
Sorry, so Sorry
And that's why I'm wondering why
You had to tell me
What's going on in your head
What's wrong
Come around to another time when you
Don't have to run
And when she says she
wants somebody else
I hope you know that
she doesn't mean you
And when she breaks down
and makes a sound
You'll never hear her the way that I do
And when she says she
wants someone to love
I hope you know that she
doesn't mean you
And when she breaks down
and lets you down
I hope you know that she
doesn't mean to
You had to tell me
What's going on in your head
What's wrong
Come around to another time when you
Don't have to run
And when she says she
wants somebody else
I hope you know that
she doesn't mean you
And when she breaks down
and makes a sound
You'll never hear her the way that I do
And when she says she
wants someone to love
I hope you know that she
doesn't mean you
And when she breaks down
and lets you down
I hope you know that she
doesn't mean to
The Transition
So, once more it's happening.
The reluctant letting go of the hopeful in exchange for the possibility of happiness.
From pleading, to warning, to making myself happy-by force if necessary.
The reluctant letting go of the hopeful in exchange for the possibility of happiness.
From pleading, to warning, to making myself happy-by force if necessary.