Confused, conflicted, and yet completely okay...The next few weeks will be telling, but once over...relief. 4 more days til
the begining of the end. Or maybe, its just the begining of the begining. Or maybe, its just another moment in time that will
pass like so many others, and become inconsequential in time. Like last summer
or the summer before. lol. or the summer before...perhaps, inconsequential is the wrong term...even shadows of memories still
make themselves present in my dreams.

Ponderings

As my summer is well on its way, some concerned freinds have checked the "journal" to try to gather where in the hell I went.

You're right, I'm gone. New destination to be determined.

Here's the Haps:

House Sitting in Corrales: May 27-June 3

Baby Sitting in Corrales: June 3-14

Florida: June 15-21

Road Trip to San Diego, and then on to..... (it's official, I'm going): June 21-25.

In Albuquerque June 25-30: Plans to be determined

Road Trip to Las Cruces/El Paso: June 30- July

July 3rd:  Warp Tour: Las Cruces NM

July 4th: Family

July 5th - July 30th: Plans to be determined. My "El Paso" crew promises, "a very large Margarita," a chance to practice "cage and bar dancing", as well as a renewl of my "pimp licence"--which I have been told is not under revoction, as previously thought ;-)

July 31st is Pipsqueaks birthday.

August 1st I must return to Albuquerque, have some living arrangement, get my stuff out of storage and pretend to resume a normal NON-Summer life....

August 8th: First Day Back at Work---BOOO.

Finally: Sept Something: Mr. Boots comes back into town. "Wake Me Up When September Ends"

Someone wrote recently:

Sometimes absence is the sincerest form of flattery.

Here's hoping.

If Lucy Fell...the flick of the past, and present.

ashes to ashes, dust to dust. seeing the pain of loss, always implores people to be better than what they are.
How is it that i remain so set in my carefree ways, astonished me.
I remain the picture of pulled together, but i'm learning fast...It's all PR. Perception is not always reality, and what
lays in the periphery while far away, may be the surest goal i have.

The time for nobility has come, and as is proper, I will play the dutiful girlfriend. Undeniably, my mind wanders to what
could and may be, but as my perfect world is one of shadows, I wait it out.
"One of these days, someone is gonna walk into your life, and make you realize why it didn't work with anyone else."

Days go by...

The summer is near, and school has ended.

Work is only 8 more days...

Moving out is only 16 days away.

Florida, and California.

 

Mr. Boots calls, and I can't help but admit, he makes me undone....

J---I'm a month from you. hope all is well til then, if not I'm only a phone call away.

****

 

 

I'll love you forever,

I'll like you for always,

As long as I'm living,

my baby you'll be.

The Defiant....

My silence has been at the benefit of an amazing new addition to my life....

22 Divas of Chaos now call me "Sister" and I am a better person for having had the experiance....

*************

In non-"What the hell is she talking about?"-news:

Mr. Boots has emerged yet again into my life....

He calls, he writes, some may even surmise that he cares....hmmmmm, nah.

(Or at least so I keep telling myself.....)

 

Is it wrong to miss him?

*****

I passed my teacher competancy and skills test, now all thats left to do is be hired.

******

I think a friend is trying to tell me BAD news about my boyfriend....

Like BAD news.... that or he still wants me....one of the two....

but recieveing a text: "Have you broken up with your boyfriend in the past week?", is not at all encouraging. ESPECIALLY when I know he's been with his ex....

***

Speaking of ex's....chill time with my ex, manana!!! Oh yes...Downtown, my girls, and my ex.....lol....Unlikely combo, but the ex always make me have fun.

****

Current....the current boyfriend has been good to me. Gotta admit, he's been everything a man should be. dependable. reliable. He picks me up from the airport, and he makes dinner on Thursdays.

****

This just in....manana is gonna be crazy, 3 ex boyfriends, all my sorority, and no boyfriend in sight....LORD bring me home....