awe. life in el paso. family feuds. tons of cable, no internet.
Watching music choice. alex's came. why don't you and I plays in background.
I've always loved that song. always nails an emotion. why don't you and I get together, take on the world, then straight on to

after failed attempts to reach a compassionate ear, i settled upon my blog. i therefore apologize in advance for the emo.
One. i'm native. this damn holiday can have really bad implications for me. interna ish.
2 I'm a child of divorce. every holiday is the big "Who do you love more" war waged between imaginary foes that could never
win, even if they did keep score.
Presently. i'm calm. missing family or rather loved ones of new mexico...i love being with my siblings, but like split parents
, theses never anything toad done about the lack of time and inadequacy i feel towards my responsibilities of being a big sist
presently i'm tired. i'm confused as to which men in my life want me in their life and to what capacity, but i'm trying to
Give till sunday evening so, that I may fung-shai my room.
After that. we'll try the clean lines drawn in the ever sifting quick sand of our worlds
I miss the illusion of closeness. intimacy, clarity, simplicity.
all currents are great at the illusion. but i want the real deal and am ready to lose for it.

On the road again... yee haw. Texas, now. :(
Yeah the big parade manana. j if you're reading, come buy your girl a hot chocolate...
So. i'm listening to DMB...you're like my best friend...I was dreamin'...DREAM GIRL...

zen moment: a girl on the playground is crying. Her mom had to go back to work after spending lunch with her, I tell her we
must be thankful for the time we have with our loved ones. even if it is for just a short while...
Later, the same girl is crying...her friends wont play with her. I tell her,"You know, even though It's nice to have friends
to always remind you, you're still a beautiful, smart, and awesome girl without them."
So...I bought a full length mirror today...maybe I'll start looking into it as these pearls of wisdom so easily hush the
tears of a 6 year old.
Yes. the full length mirror. in celebration of my new single-ness. along with sexy curtains...some frames for my musical taste
...speaking of which I want a good black and white JM photo/cover to print for this framing project.
If not i'll have to go with Maroon 5 or AAR...good choices but...its all about finding the right images...
Fung Shui, baby, Fung Shui.
In related news...the blast from my past remains ever intriguing, child and all...
Critics may boo all they want but I love kids and I'm beyond thinking that at this point, life hasn't happened TO most of us.
Last entry on that. Long story short, he's got a girl in his life, and she's priority...i'm gonna respect their privacy.

Today I may have had yet another Zen moment...

"Dear Mandy, This is your future extremely good looking and awesome new boyfriend. I just wanted to reminded
you that I existed.
So...when you are ready to get rid of the losers you're with, i'll be here."
Agh. i am so high school! why do i let guys woo me so easily?

Room is beautiful. i look beautiful. So i guess no one here to see it is okay. right? right. :-\