Autograph Man. read it. its good.
I find myself caught between to worker. that which is and that which could be. like my pledging days once enlightened me to do
I know i must be prepared for sacrifice. i must give up comfort and work for what i already know could be mine: figurative or
not. i miss my soldier, but know he's not mine to miss. i also realize, he is only a question away from being mine. or not.
Its all really simple. Do you want me to wait? Do you want this to be real...the real trouble lies in accepting his answer.

I woke up crying...I didn't think it would happen to me, but here I am dreaming. I dreampt he wasn't safe. I dreampt he killed
He couldn't be with me and I understood. I dreampt and I woke up shaken. talk about a nightmare for Halloween

Went out with the housemates. forgot my troubles. remembered my wings, and took some photos for the fans ;)
In summary, i ran into a lot of fraternity men. some beyond friendly, but all gentlemen. :)

Sleepy. fall carnival tomorrow. :) C has dealt with some skitzo-ness tonight.
i write my soldier this evening with silly complaints, but i feel better just telling him....
Hee hee, me and ms.v have the joke that after a day of his return, i'll be married. :)
One day maybe i'll fill him in. :-) or not. i'm such a commit a phobe

Its night. i have visited the men of the Fraternity. i increasingly catch myself intrigued by the pledges.
Hmmm. bad habits die slowly. i always want what i cant/shouldn't have.
La la la. we will have to see how this evening goes over
I miss my baby though. 7lbs 7oz of candy going his way. hopefully he'll appreciate.

Okay. truly. i miss my soldier. i have 8 months between now and then, and It's torture!

4am in the morning and i'm wide awake. missing my man, thinking about my pledge, worried about mail, and wondering about my
life...I really need out of this city. I want law school bad, but am doing little to get there. I keep envisioning someone
will just rescue me from this mundane town of clones, but as usual, i need to rescue my self. i'll be tired this evening.
j. call me. i miss you. tell your girl i say hi. :)
Boo. escapism is so tempting...i mean given fight or flight...it just sucks when you have to fight to run away.
honestly though...I just miss my soldier...life seems dull without him, but It's oh so occupied.