Have you ever....

have you ever...
done something completely out of the goodness of your heart just to be slapped in the face by utter ingrattitude and accusation of selfish motivation?

Such was the situation last night, that made me want to throw my phone, and ultimately ended with me feeling so damn resentful towards this person that I canceled an entire online account, just so I'd never have to deal with the accusations? Sad-- huh?
On top of it all I slept pretty poorly--such is the way when you lay in bed after such conversations, and just go to be thinking "UGH!"
Anyways, woke up pretty poorly too, I think it's the moon.
3YROLD BOY would get that.
Speaking of which, I should call him....
Anyways,  "I'LL get over it"
"Oh Look!.......I just did"

So updates....The PARTY CONT...
SUFFICE IT TO SAY 5 DAYS LATER, WE"RE STILL HEARING ABOUT IT....PICS ARE OUT BEWARE....

BOYS---
Party Boy: K with the kid (Guy who was the blast from the past, I had mentioned earlier????) well yeah, he came over to the party. As always he's still good to look at--but suffice it to say, we're all grown up now...well, who knows maybe I'll have him take me on that motorcycle of his, and then go play "mommy"--Haha, thats sounds DISTURBING.....head out of gutter kids.....
Anyways, participants not at party....I'm not sure if I ever updated on 3YROLD Boy, for a while he was "voted of f the Island" but, after discovering he had a death in the family, I felt like an ass, for thinking so poorly of him and am letting him come back in his own time and way.
Grrr, that name is tooo long, we're gonna have to abbreviate --3B work??? Well it's gonna have too :)
BESIDES, if anyone wanted the most recent tabs on my "love life" in the short it's the following....
I'm working on FINALS! I have no life!
All those who saw me at the party would disagree, but apperances can be decieving.
Here is what is up though with the BOYS in my LIFE
J--HAPPY BIRTHDAY J's GIRL--Write me if you like your present--haha, I know what it is :)
Prophet--safe and sound in the East Coast, where I wish I was, but can't be, He'll be going to Europe this summer, and says there is some Navy code about how he can't stick me in a suitcase...boo.
Marine #1: My future husband: Once again we have revised the Will and Grace plan, and I will outline it later when I have the time, but in summary, I'm getting married at 27 damn it. And since HE JUST passed his Pilots test (Lets all say YAY---YAAAAAAAY!!!!!--He can get me an even bigger rock---haha, who am I kidding, like I said earlier, pick me up on your motor cycle and get me out of this town! hahah. Marine is figuring out the girls in his life, and like good medicine thats hard to swallow, it's his own words: JUST DO YOU luv.
Marine #2: My marine Daddy, all married and grown up. Just got word from him, and hope to hear more. A--you're a lucky woman.
Playa Playa, made his appearance into my life, and we will see how long that last,
um...who'm I forgetting?
oh yeah...well never forgotten just kinda always there?
Mr. Someone is graduating, going alum, making it big undoubtadely, and as much as I wish I was right there next to him, I haven't the slightest notion as to whether or not I ever got invited for the ride...nevertheless, I've learned to play sidelines cheerleader very well, and will be waiting when the dust settles, and the race is won.
And then there's HIM: to be honest I still feel a bitterness in my mouth when I refer to HIM. it's like, oh...yeah, that part of my life thats like air. Always around, taken for granted, and unfortunately I die when I'm deprived...BUT---
It's better, so much better; I've learned, I'm stupid, but I've learned HE's Stupider,
and I got tired of playing games so I stopped, which surpirsingly is working for me.
yeah--I don't know about HIM, and probably never will, and therefore I've stopped trying.

So here's a good stopping point...

Have you ever realized you get more play in grey sewatpants and no make-up then in that little red dress you love?

Have you ever realized that just when you're over someone, there not quite over you?

Have you ever realized that when someone you thought you were over calls you, you know right then and there, you're done--and he's got you for as long as he wants?

Have you ever ran across that person that took your heart, know that they still have it, but kept on walking, cause you were okay with that?

Have you ever stopped keeping score, and had more fun just doing/being/living then when you tried to win?

Have you ever realized life/relationships/school/work is just realy as busy/confusing/complicated/hard as you let it be?

Have you ever caught yourself in the midst of everything (a test, a fight, a kiss, bad traffic) and said, "you know, it just doesn't matter"....and then smiled cause you know you were right.



Mantra's:
"Do You"
"Don't Catch a Feelin'"
"Just Go With It"