Three to be exact....
I had a come to Jesus moment, and realized for the first time, that I'm engaged after 3 months. Three. Count em. Sept. Oct. Nov. Now we're in December, and I have a ring on my finger.
Thee ring. The one I wanted.
....The princess cut, at an angle...and blue. Because I wanted a blue diamond since the last ring....The ring which was never right.
People that know me, know I had a panic attack the same night I was proposed to the "last time"...by "that other guy"....
Lol...but he was a good guy. A great guy by some standards. A guy that left his job, his family, everything he knew to follow me to the Big City, and let me pursue what I wanted. He even stuck it out that dreaded first year of Law School.
But like the "first love"....I was never really his.
Emotionally I belonged to no one, longed to be with Someone else...
and well, you can't really marry a person you're not in love with, can you?
But TODAY...Today I'm engaged.
and Today I'm considering that age-old feeling...that, "do I want to escape"...Hypothetically, I'm reviewing the "can I do better" question....
The instant answers are no, and I'm right where I want to be.....But as the law student, I'm wondering, Will I ever have those thoughts with America's Air Force?
Will he always be enough? I suppose a few more months will tell...maybe the months that stretch onto forever.
That's his dubbed name by the way: "America's Air Force"...My Air Force man....given to me by my Texas sweetheart....Lol...well, Texas friend, I s'pose.
Yup...It's all gonna change. Anyone I once loved, knows now....I'm committed.
and in the weirdest way, I'm okay with that.
After years of being second best, or someone's secret, I'm finally comfortable in my own skin and happy with what I have right in front of me.
No desire to stray, no desire to run...just putting my Air Force man's things in boxes to move him into my apartment.
-Smiling and listening to old songs that remind me of a time once passed, and I think...huh, this is what its like to be happy. Thinking, of the old loves, and hoping and wishing them happiness...
In the end, I guess that's the difference a few months makes.
Love in the Time of Cholera
Dear Universe,
I would like to fall in love now...That's all. I'm happy, I like my life, I just miss cuddling. Maybe that's why I kept banging the square peg in the round hole.
Yeah, I can wait. I've got no complaints, and I am busy...Sigh, but the romantic comedy that is my life is begging fot a new male lead...or female, maybe??? Mmmm, maybe.
Sigh...damn, new realization that just made a prospect go up in smoke.
Conservatives and gays don't get along, huh? Grrr, somehow I'm thinking the universe is plotting...Okay universe, I'm single, let this cup pass, but if you will it, bring it!
XoXo,
DCGG
I would like to fall in love now...That's all. I'm happy, I like my life, I just miss cuddling. Maybe that's why I kept banging the square peg in the round hole.
Yeah, I can wait. I've got no complaints, and I am busy...Sigh, but the romantic comedy that is my life is begging fot a new male lead...or female, maybe??? Mmmm, maybe.
Sigh...damn, new realization that just made a prospect go up in smoke.
Conservatives and gays don't get along, huh? Grrr, somehow I'm thinking the universe is plotting...Okay universe, I'm single, let this cup pass, but if you will it, bring it!
XoXo,
DCGG
The intensity of her thoughts is palpable
One of these days I'll be good. Maybe it will be tonight.
Thai was good tonight, headache is not.
Thai was good tonight, headache is not.
Laughing at myself
Lord help the hopeless, Lol.
Sooooo. I handled this so-called break-up with Retail Therapy. Hello, my name is DCGG, and I am a bargain shopper. I infact needed to BUY a whole other suitcase to pack what I have purchased...count them 10 new pairs of heels, 2 pairs of flip flops, a um nude flat-which is what I intended to buy...
A few (maybe 6?) Dress shirts, 1 black number dress (See video)…, a very cute formal dressI have bo idea where I'll wear it...um, 2 pairs of jeans, and um, two belts...the other item I 'meant' to buy.
Hmmmmm. Strange. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hME9RM_aJHk) LMAO!
In addition to the fact that "Shopping makes everything better" and being with Momma and Daddy...who really reinforce Cowgirls Don't Cry, having a best friend and friends in general to lean on is kinda nice. Ya'll really refrained from the I told you sooo's; thank you.
A Certain number of men have made the transition nice as well. The Lexus Dealer aka the Closer, insist he takes me out to dinner when I re-imerge, I'm apparently invited to Poker with The Indian Guy, but lol...yeah, I'm stupid, This One Guy...Mr. Coffee, has my Mom salvating and waiting everymorning to see what's new with the brew...
*sigh. You'd think I'd be jaded, or at least slowed down...but get back on, and ride, girl, ride.
Mr.Coffee...yeah, that one scares me. Everyone else knows their place...a distraction at best. But Mr.Coffee, lol, he's just witty and adorable, and secretely probably married to 7 women in Oregan.
Learning SOMETHING from before...I think I'll savor this time. Momma said, you can't rush love...
Lol. Then again momma is as obsessed with figuring this guy out as I am...but Mr.Cofee later.
This post is my closure chapter on my man with the Yellow Hat...I deleted the pictures, I took off the necklace (and bought myself a new one), erased text, emails, and IMs. Hard yes...but like band-aids, quick stings hurt less than the fear of agony of what I thought Id feel. Again, Strange.
Anyways. If The Man in The Yellow Hat ever reads this, I can thank him for giving me my summer romance fantasy.
I did love you, and that means wishing you well. So, best, and love- from my heart to yours.
That said, careful world, she's no longer grounded or on cloud nine, in an ironic private joke no one will get...I'm Floating.
Xoxo Universe.
Sooooo. I handled this so-called break-up with Retail Therapy. Hello, my name is DCGG, and I am a bargain shopper. I infact needed to BUY a whole other suitcase to pack what I have purchased...count them 10 new pairs of heels, 2 pairs of flip flops, a um nude flat-which is what I intended to buy...
A few (maybe 6?) Dress shirts, 1 black number dress (See video)…, a very cute formal dressI have bo idea where I'll wear it...um, 2 pairs of jeans, and um, two belts...the other item I 'meant' to buy.
Hmmmmm. Strange. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hME9RM_aJHk) LMAO!
In addition to the fact that "Shopping makes everything better" and being with Momma and Daddy...who really reinforce Cowgirls Don't Cry, having a best friend and friends in general to lean on is kinda nice. Ya'll really refrained from the I told you sooo's; thank you.
A Certain number of men have made the transition nice as well. The Lexus Dealer aka the Closer, insist he takes me out to dinner when I re-imerge, I'm apparently invited to Poker with The Indian Guy, but lol...yeah, I'm stupid, This One Guy...Mr. Coffee, has my Mom salvating and waiting everymorning to see what's new with the brew...
*sigh. You'd think I'd be jaded, or at least slowed down...but get back on, and ride, girl, ride.
Mr.Coffee...yeah, that one scares me. Everyone else knows their place...a distraction at best. But Mr.Coffee, lol, he's just witty and adorable, and secretely probably married to 7 women in Oregan.
Learning SOMETHING from before...I think I'll savor this time. Momma said, you can't rush love...
Lol. Then again momma is as obsessed with figuring this guy out as I am...but Mr.Cofee later.
This post is my closure chapter on my man with the Yellow Hat...I deleted the pictures, I took off the necklace (and bought myself a new one), erased text, emails, and IMs. Hard yes...but like band-aids, quick stings hurt less than the fear of agony of what I thought Id feel. Again, Strange.
Anyways. If The Man in The Yellow Hat ever reads this, I can thank him for giving me my summer romance fantasy.
I did love you, and that means wishing you well. So, best, and love- from my heart to yours.
That said, careful world, she's no longer grounded or on cloud nine, in an ironic private joke no one will get...I'm Floating.
Xoxo Universe.
So, What Happened...
As I attempt to flee, and recapture any shread of dignity and self-worth, I have decided that perhaps my little universe is curious as to my EMO-like postings and manic mood-swings...
LET ME TRY TO EXPLAIN...See, the truth is. I don't know what is going on as I have been told NOTHING by my BOYFRIEND...whom, I can only assume still is my boyfriend as I haven't been told otherwise...but there's a thin line between willful blindness and stupidity.
As I have constructed the situation, a man who promised he loved me, who stated he needed to handle a very serious and grave situation that would take him out of state and out of contact from me, his beloved girlfriend...This I understood. He left, and said he'd be out of touch. I understood. A week passes by, with reassuring text. He loves me, he misses me. I understand. Two weeks goes by. He promises he's okay, just family business, things will be normal soon he says...he promises he loves me and misses me. I understand.
I'm on week 3 of his absence, getting ready to join family in the lone star state, and realize I should be celebrating with friends who just completed The Bar...I go to invite my boyfriends BFF, who is one of my newest Facebook friends...and lo and behold, he has a new posting on his wall from my Boyfriend??? I'm confused. I read the note. A stupid survey that takes too much time...it talks about the last girl he talked to, held hands with, hugged...Erin.
My name is not Erin. And wait, why hasn't he accepted MY Friend request?
I discuss this with friends. I let 24 hours go by...my friends say shady. I defend him.
Next post shows up on the BFF's wall... another lengthy survey...and again this other chick is tagged.
As my girlfriend puts it, "Who the Fuck is Erin?"
I call. Get voicemail,
I text. No response.
I get drunk. I get emotional. I email...I in essence "T-out" I.e. go pyscho...
But it was a very well written emotional email. Asking for closure, the courtesy of a response, apologizing if I had jumpedto conclusions...and perhaps this would have been all fine...IF my phone didn't decide to send said emotional letter eight times. Yes, eight. I'm sure I have a restraining order on me when I wake up.
Yes, only I could have managed to fall in love in 5 days and within 5 hours make a man think, what the Hell was I thinking...but I do think I was deemed an explanation.
I mean what guy tells you he loves you, then vanishes?
I suppose the men I love. Tragic. I made one last attempt to email him today since pycho letter.
If I don't hear from him, I'll delete the emails, the text messages, and take off the necklace at midnight. I'll go on that date Mr.Coffee keeps hinting at. I'll be okay, because I have to. Even if I go back to being jaded and keeping my heart locked up where no one can hurt me....But, no, I don't understand--and I want to.
Xoxo universe...
LET ME TRY TO EXPLAIN...See, the truth is. I don't know what is going on as I have been told NOTHING by my BOYFRIEND...whom, I can only assume still is my boyfriend as I haven't been told otherwise...but there's a thin line between willful blindness and stupidity.
As I have constructed the situation, a man who promised he loved me, who stated he needed to handle a very serious and grave situation that would take him out of state and out of contact from me, his beloved girlfriend...This I understood. He left, and said he'd be out of touch. I understood. A week passes by, with reassuring text. He loves me, he misses me. I understand. Two weeks goes by. He promises he's okay, just family business, things will be normal soon he says...he promises he loves me and misses me. I understand.
I'm on week 3 of his absence, getting ready to join family in the lone star state, and realize I should be celebrating with friends who just completed The Bar...I go to invite my boyfriends BFF, who is one of my newest Facebook friends...and lo and behold, he has a new posting on his wall from my Boyfriend??? I'm confused. I read the note. A stupid survey that takes too much time...it talks about the last girl he talked to, held hands with, hugged...Erin.
My name is not Erin. And wait, why hasn't he accepted MY Friend request?
I discuss this with friends. I let 24 hours go by...my friends say shady. I defend him.
Next post shows up on the BFF's wall... another lengthy survey...and again this other chick is tagged.
As my girlfriend puts it, "Who the Fuck is Erin?"
I call. Get voicemail,
I text. No response.
I get drunk. I get emotional. I email...I in essence "T-out" I.e. go pyscho...
But it was a very well written emotional email. Asking for closure, the courtesy of a response, apologizing if I had jumpedto conclusions...and perhaps this would have been all fine...IF my phone didn't decide to send said emotional letter eight times. Yes, eight. I'm sure I have a restraining order on me when I wake up.
Yes, only I could have managed to fall in love in 5 days and within 5 hours make a man think, what the Hell was I thinking...but I do think I was deemed an explanation.
I mean what guy tells you he loves you, then vanishes?
I suppose the men I love. Tragic. I made one last attempt to email him today since pycho letter.
If I don't hear from him, I'll delete the emails, the text messages, and take off the necklace at midnight. I'll go on that date Mr.Coffee keeps hinting at. I'll be okay, because I have to. Even if I go back to being jaded and keeping my heart locked up where no one can hurt me....But, no, I don't understand--and I want to.
Xoxo universe...
Last Try
Didn't You Know How Much I Loved You?
I remember the way you made love to me
Like I was all you'd ever need
Did you change your mind?
Well I didn't change mine
Now here I am tryin' to make sense of it all
We were best friends now we don't even talk
You broke my heart
Ripped my world apart
Didn't you know how much I loved you?
Didn't you know how much I loved you baby?
I gave you everything, every part of me
Didn't you feel it when I touched you?
Didn't I rock you when I loved you baby?
Baby tell me
Didn't you know how much I loved you?
I can't get you outta my head
I still feel you in this bed
Left me all alone, couldn't be more gone
From fallin' apart to fightin' mad
Wanting you back to not givin' a damn
I felt it all
I've been to the wall
Didn't you know how much I loved you?
Didn't you know how much I loved you baby?
I gave you everything, every part of me
Didn't you feel it when I touched you?
Didn't I rock you when I loved you baby?
Baby tell me
Didn't you know how much I loved you?
One day justice will come and find you
And I'll be right there in your memory
to remind you
Didn't you know how much I loved you?
Didn't you know how much I loved you baby?
I gave you everything, every part of me
Didn't you feel it when I touched you?
Didn't I rock you when I loved you baby?
Baby tell me
Didn't you know how much I loved you?
Didn't you know how much I loved you baby?
Gave you everything, every part of me
Didn't you feel it when I touched you?
Didn't I rock you when I loved you baby?
Baby tell me
Gave you everything, every part of me
I remember the way you made love to me
Like I was all you'd ever need
Did you change your mind?
Well I didn't change mine
Now here I am tryin' to make sense of it all
We were best friends now we don't even talk
You broke my heart
Ripped my world apart
Didn't you know how much I loved you?
Didn't you know how much I loved you baby?
I gave you everything, every part of me
Didn't you feel it when I touched you?
Didn't I rock you when I loved you baby?
Baby tell me
Didn't you know how much I loved you?
I can't get you outta my head
I still feel you in this bed
Left me all alone, couldn't be more gone
From fallin' apart to fightin' mad
Wanting you back to not givin' a damn
I felt it all
I've been to the wall
Didn't you know how much I loved you?
Didn't you know how much I loved you baby?
I gave you everything, every part of me
Didn't you feel it when I touched you?
Didn't I rock you when I loved you baby?
Baby tell me
Didn't you know how much I loved you?
One day justice will come and find you
And I'll be right there in your memory
to remind you
Didn't you know how much I loved you?
Didn't you know how much I loved you baby?
I gave you everything, every part of me
Didn't you feel it when I touched you?
Didn't I rock you when I loved you baby?
Baby tell me
Didn't you know how much I loved you?
Didn't you know how much I loved you baby?
Gave you everything, every part of me
Didn't you feel it when I touched you?
Didn't I rock you when I loved you baby?
Baby tell me
Gave you everything, every part of me
i broke my back, you broke my heart
Happy Endings by: All American Rejects
Time does tell
That even if they say so
She'd be the one that would know
That I did do what I've done
And I, wouldn't call it cheating
I'd just say I was leading her on
Why walk while I run a-way
You- you ask me what went wrong
Me- i'll write you this last song
Please- just tell me one way we can win
One- more thing before I go
Two- the one who loves me so
Three- don't make me count to three again
Happy endings
Just what did you do, If you're a dream then come true
Stop pretending
That what you mean isn't what you say
Hopeful dreaming,
Of times before the pain, wishing it was still the same
Loving, leaving
Round and round and round we go again
Walks a-lone, have often lead to thinking
My love for you is sinking to what seems an all time low
or high, the limits' never ending,
And don't you know I'm sending
There's no venture I won't go
For you
You- you ask me what went wrong
Me- i'll write you this last song
Please- just tell me one way we can win
One- more thing before I go
Two- the one who loves me so
Three- don't make me count to three again
Happy endings
Just what did you do, If you're a dream then come true
Stop pretending
That what you mean isn't what you say
Hopeful dreaming,
Of times before the pain, wishing it was still the same
Loving, leaving
Round and round and round we go again
She walks away, she talks away
She walks away
She walks away, she talks away
Away, away...
Happy endings
Just what did you do, If you're a dream then come true
Stop pretending
That what you mean isn't what you say
Hopeful dreaming,
Of times before the pain, wishing it was still the same
Loving, leaving
Round and round and round we go again
Happy endings
Just what did you do, If you're a dream then come true
Stop pretending
That what you mean isn't what you say
Hopeful dreaming,
Loving, leaving...
Time does tell
That even if they say so
She'd be the one that would know
That I did do what I've done
And I, wouldn't call it cheating
I'd just say I was leading her on
Why walk while I run a-way
You- you ask me what went wrong
Me- i'll write you this last song
Please- just tell me one way we can win
One- more thing before I go
Two- the one who loves me so
Three- don't make me count to three again
Happy endings
Just what did you do, If you're a dream then come true
Stop pretending
That what you mean isn't what you say
Hopeful dreaming,
Of times before the pain, wishing it was still the same
Loving, leaving
Round and round and round we go again
Walks a-lone, have often lead to thinking
My love for you is sinking to what seems an all time low
or high, the limits' never ending,
And don't you know I'm sending
There's no venture I won't go
For you
You- you ask me what went wrong
Me- i'll write you this last song
Please- just tell me one way we can win
One- more thing before I go
Two- the one who loves me so
Three- don't make me count to three again
Happy endings
Just what did you do, If you're a dream then come true
Stop pretending
That what you mean isn't what you say
Hopeful dreaming,
Of times before the pain, wishing it was still the same
Loving, leaving
Round and round and round we go again
She walks away, she talks away
She walks away
She walks away, she talks away
Away, away...
Happy endings
Just what did you do, If you're a dream then come true
Stop pretending
That what you mean isn't what you say
Hopeful dreaming,
Of times before the pain, wishing it was still the same
Loving, leaving
Round and round and round we go again
Happy endings
Just what did you do, If you're a dream then come true
Stop pretending
That what you mean isn't what you say
Hopeful dreaming,
Loving, leaving...
I'm still wearing his necklace...
The Little Things by: Colbie Caillat
The little things you do to me
Are taking me over, I wanna show ya
Everything inside of me
Like a nervous heart that is crazy beatin'
my feet are stuck here against the pavement
I wanna break free, I wanna make it
Closer to your eyes, get your attention
Before you pass me by
Back up, back up
Take another chance
Don't you mess up, mess up
I don't wanna lose you
Wake up, wake up
This ain't just a thing that you
Give up, give up
Don't you say that I'd be
Better off, better off, sleeping by myself and wondering
If I'm better off, better off, without you boy
And every time you notice me by
Holding me closely, and saying sweet things
I don't believe that it could be
You speakin' your mind and sayin' the real thing
My feet have broke free and I am leaving
I'm not gonna stand here feeling lonely but
I don't regret it, and I don't think it
Was just a waste of time
Back up, back up
Take another chance
Don't you mess up, mess up
I don't wanna lose you
Wake up, wake up
This ain't just a thing that you
Give up, give up
Don't you say that I'd be
Better off, better off, sleeping by myself and wondering
If I'm better off, better off, without you boy
Don't just leave me hangin' on...
Don't just leave me hangin' on...
The little things you do to me are
Taking me over, I wanna show ya
Everything inside of me
Like a nervous heart that is crazy beatin'
my feet are stuck here against the pavement
I wanna break free, I wanna make it
Closer to your eyes, get your attention
Before you pass me by
Don't just leave me hangin' on...
Back up, back up
Take another chance
Don't you mess up, mess up
I don't wanna lose you
Wake up, wake up
This ain't just a thing that you
Give up, give up
Don't you say that I'd be
(Don't just leave me hangin' on...)
Better off, better off, sleeping by myself and wondering
(Don't just leave me hangin' on...)
If I'm better off, better off, without you boy
Don't just leave me hangin' on...
Don't just leave me hangin' on...
(The little things, oh, the little things you do to me)
Don't just leave me hangin' on...
(Driving me crazy, crazy)
Don't just leave me hangin' on...
(The little things, oh, thze little things you do to me)
(Driving me crazy, crazy)
The little things you do to me
Are taking me over, I wanna show ya
Everything inside of me
Like a nervous heart that is crazy beatin'
my feet are stuck here against the pavement
I wanna break free, I wanna make it
Closer to your eyes, get your attention
Before you pass me by
Back up, back up
Take another chance
Don't you mess up, mess up
I don't wanna lose you
Wake up, wake up
This ain't just a thing that you
Give up, give up
Don't you say that I'd be
Better off, better off, sleeping by myself and wondering
If I'm better off, better off, without you boy
And every time you notice me by
Holding me closely, and saying sweet things
I don't believe that it could be
You speakin' your mind and sayin' the real thing
My feet have broke free and I am leaving
I'm not gonna stand here feeling lonely but
I don't regret it, and I don't think it
Was just a waste of time
Back up, back up
Take another chance
Don't you mess up, mess up
I don't wanna lose you
Wake up, wake up
This ain't just a thing that you
Give up, give up
Don't you say that I'd be
Better off, better off, sleeping by myself and wondering
If I'm better off, better off, without you boy
Don't just leave me hangin' on...
Don't just leave me hangin' on...
The little things you do to me are
Taking me over, I wanna show ya
Everything inside of me
Like a nervous heart that is crazy beatin'
my feet are stuck here against the pavement
I wanna break free, I wanna make it
Closer to your eyes, get your attention
Before you pass me by
Don't just leave me hangin' on...
Back up, back up
Take another chance
Don't you mess up, mess up
I don't wanna lose you
Wake up, wake up
This ain't just a thing that you
Give up, give up
Don't you say that I'd be
(Don't just leave me hangin' on...)
Better off, better off, sleeping by myself and wondering
(Don't just leave me hangin' on...)
If I'm better off, better off, without you boy
Don't just leave me hangin' on...
Don't just leave me hangin' on...
(The little things, oh, the little things you do to me)
Don't just leave me hangin' on...
(Driving me crazy, crazy)
Don't just leave me hangin' on...
(The little things, oh, thze little things you do to me)
(Driving me crazy, crazy)
Watch the Monkey Dance....Yayyyy Art!
I have successfully upgraded this Upper Eastsiders posh new apartment with works of Art and pictures of my beloveds...Thus, from a well-furnished pad...springs forth the place I call well ALMOST Home...
Somethings missing...Lol, hmmm. The Irony.
I'm thinking a few houseplants? A New bedset? Something...
While buying a new comforter won't make up for the Man missing in my bed, I was reminded by my Mom that I've always been a happy girl asleep on a couch if need be...
Its funny when you fall in love, the things that used to make you happy still do, but there's this unfullfilled part of you...
The begining of Dogma (the movie) explains it...The main charector is talking about how when you're little, you have a little glass, and life/faith can fill it up easily...but as you grow...the glass gets bigger. The same amount of faith no longer fills the glass...
That's kinda it...its like for the first time in YEARS (maybe 10 YEARS) I allowed myself to think about having a child again...Isn't that nuts?
For the first time in YEARS, I trust someone...completely. I'd move, I'd stay at home...I'd be That Girl...the one to give it all up for a Man...yup. Pathetic...
Secret? I've wanted that since a freshman in college.
Shocker? Just two days ago I was told by Mr.Boots that he never saw me as "the Family Type...I always figured you the lonely career woman working at some high class office, counting money I couldn't dream of..."
And in an instant, I was like wow!?
I already think of the names I want for the future son or daughter...I laugh at deciding whether to tell the Man in the Yellow Hat that this is what he's done to me...
Poor Guy... My Man it seems is still 6 hours too far away, but his messages of returned normality, have brought a smile to my face all day...Our Normality is a Disney Fairytale...
He messaged all the time, called all the time, was here all the time...as Queen put it...we are "obsessed" with each other...Yup. the couple people love to hate. The couple snuggling on the subway, or holding hands in a grocery store, the kissing in the park that begs "get a room..." Yup, I miss that normality...
While what he's dealing with is severe and necessary, it doesn't make me any less impatient. As I told him, I can barely wait in a line at a grocery store...This is hard.
Que se ra...I guess I wait. In the meantime, I hang art that reminds me that if forced to live a life alone, I do so quite nicely...and suddenly the glass gets just a little fuller.
I'm okay My Universe, just missing what will soon enough make the house a Home.
Somethings missing...Lol, hmmm. The Irony.
I'm thinking a few houseplants? A New bedset? Something...
While buying a new comforter won't make up for the Man missing in my bed, I was reminded by my Mom that I've always been a happy girl asleep on a couch if need be...
Its funny when you fall in love, the things that used to make you happy still do, but there's this unfullfilled part of you...
The begining of Dogma (the movie) explains it...The main charector is talking about how when you're little, you have a little glass, and life/faith can fill it up easily...but as you grow...the glass gets bigger. The same amount of faith no longer fills the glass...
That's kinda it...its like for the first time in YEARS (maybe 10 YEARS) I allowed myself to think about having a child again...Isn't that nuts?
For the first time in YEARS, I trust someone...completely. I'd move, I'd stay at home...I'd be That Girl...the one to give it all up for a Man...yup. Pathetic...
Secret? I've wanted that since a freshman in college.
Shocker? Just two days ago I was told by Mr.Boots that he never saw me as "the Family Type...I always figured you the lonely career woman working at some high class office, counting money I couldn't dream of..."
And in an instant, I was like wow!?
I already think of the names I want for the future son or daughter...I laugh at deciding whether to tell the Man in the Yellow Hat that this is what he's done to me...
Poor Guy... My Man it seems is still 6 hours too far away, but his messages of returned normality, have brought a smile to my face all day...Our Normality is a Disney Fairytale...
He messaged all the time, called all the time, was here all the time...as Queen put it...we are "obsessed" with each other...Yup. the couple people love to hate. The couple snuggling on the subway, or holding hands in a grocery store, the kissing in the park that begs "get a room..." Yup, I miss that normality...
While what he's dealing with is severe and necessary, it doesn't make me any less impatient. As I told him, I can barely wait in a line at a grocery store...This is hard.
Que se ra...I guess I wait. In the meantime, I hang art that reminds me that if forced to live a life alone, I do so quite nicely...and suddenly the glass gets just a little fuller.
I'm okay My Universe, just missing what will soon enough make the house a Home.
Damn...My Karma Ran Over My Dogma
Okay...New Record Even for Me...
For a week perfection...a whirlwind of u-hauling (google it) madness. I break a guys heart, and get hung up on from across the globe. I let go of long ago longing, and decide to throw caution to the wind. My reward?!?!? Why sitting alone for two Fridays in a row! The cause? Cosmic obscelence at work.
Worse?!?
As I couldn't wait for said traveling Global Good Guy, the Man I fall for, the Man in the Yellow Hat gets swept away...Karma baby, Karma. But, yeah...I knew "it wasn't there..." with Good Guy...but he was Good. And he did care about me...and no guy deserves to get hurt...
Added Salt? Said Global Good Guy decides to Remind me I'm a witch by verbalizing so in text and email...well, yes, I suppose I deserve after 1 (count it, one) date (!!!) to have expected I was not allowed to fall for another...So much for being special...
As to my Man in the Yellow Hat...he doesn't call, or email...and just when I'm ready to say I must have drank something stronger than Kool-Aid to imagine Love exist...yeah, that's when he messages. Good morning baby...I love you, I miss you...like that will make it all better?!?!?
Except it does...sad thing about us hopeless romantics...we're hopeless.
I tell ya, he sends lavendar roses and blue flowers, I'm putting on a ring. Hopeless, absolutely hopeless.
For a week perfection...a whirlwind of u-hauling (google it) madness. I break a guys heart, and get hung up on from across the globe. I let go of long ago longing, and decide to throw caution to the wind. My reward?!?!? Why sitting alone for two Fridays in a row! The cause? Cosmic obscelence at work.
Worse?!?
As I couldn't wait for said traveling Global Good Guy, the Man I fall for, the Man in the Yellow Hat gets swept away...Karma baby, Karma. But, yeah...I knew "it wasn't there..." with Good Guy...but he was Good. And he did care about me...and no guy deserves to get hurt...
Added Salt? Said Global Good Guy decides to Remind me I'm a witch by verbalizing so in text and email...well, yes, I suppose I deserve after 1 (count it, one) date (!!!) to have expected I was not allowed to fall for another...So much for being special...
As to my Man in the Yellow Hat...he doesn't call, or email...and just when I'm ready to say I must have drank something stronger than Kool-Aid to imagine Love exist...yeah, that's when he messages. Good morning baby...I love you, I miss you...like that will make it all better?!?!?
Except it does...sad thing about us hopeless romantics...we're hopeless.
I tell ya, he sends lavendar roses and blue flowers, I'm putting on a ring. Hopeless, absolutely hopeless.
The Man in the Yellow Hat
Dear Universe,
It has been a long time coming, but this upper East-sider has officially fallen into a whirlwind of love. Prepared to endure mockery, and perhaps even the fallouts that this announcement brings, -it most certainly is official: I have a boyfriend. While I'm not running to change my facebook status, I am in the process of making some very serious calls and emails that outline my exclusivity. As the boyfriend says of his calls, "there are some definate haters out there." *sigh.
He's nothing I expected, and yet everything I have wanted for so long all wrapped into one. 'Like me, he is from a torn, yet adaptive, family. He loves-hard. Meaning, like me...he is a hopeless romantic. Day one-three we can't stop talking. The similarities and signs point to Serendipity. Date 1: I am greated with a kiss on the cheek, and I am stunned how the man in the yellow hat holding a guitar is an inch shorter than me...He is not bothered, and as he opens doors and we dicuss art, I am put at ease. The paintings we view are exceptional, and after a quick kiss to verify we are in fact on a date, the man in the yellow hat does something you only see in movies...he pulls me behind a wall in the art gallery and we share a soul-reaching kiss. I get off-centered.
Date 2: we share with his best friend. They drink, and we are falling. Date 3: its over...we know we could be apart, but we know we belong together. He won't let me rush, and keeps our relationship innocent. I'm told I'm "that girl" he's been dreaming of. I'm asked if I'm ready. I am. I'm offered everything he has, I offer my heart.
So there it is. A committed, exclusive, loving relationship. Yayyyyyy Art.......
I'll keep you updated, xoxo, DCGG
It has been a long time coming, but this upper East-sider has officially fallen into a whirlwind of love. Prepared to endure mockery, and perhaps even the fallouts that this announcement brings, -it most certainly is official: I have a boyfriend. While I'm not running to change my facebook status, I am in the process of making some very serious calls and emails that outline my exclusivity. As the boyfriend says of his calls, "there are some definate haters out there." *sigh.
He's nothing I expected, and yet everything I have wanted for so long all wrapped into one. 'Like me, he is from a torn, yet adaptive, family. He loves-hard. Meaning, like me...he is a hopeless romantic. Day one-three we can't stop talking. The similarities and signs point to Serendipity. Date 1: I am greated with a kiss on the cheek, and I am stunned how the man in the yellow hat holding a guitar is an inch shorter than me...He is not bothered, and as he opens doors and we dicuss art, I am put at ease. The paintings we view are exceptional, and after a quick kiss to verify we are in fact on a date, the man in the yellow hat does something you only see in movies...he pulls me behind a wall in the art gallery and we share a soul-reaching kiss. I get off-centered.
Date 2: we share with his best friend. They drink, and we are falling. Date 3: its over...we know we could be apart, but we know we belong together. He won't let me rush, and keeps our relationship innocent. I'm told I'm "that girl" he's been dreaming of. I'm asked if I'm ready. I am. I'm offered everything he has, I offer my heart.
So there it is. A committed, exclusive, loving relationship. Yayyyyyy Art.......
I'll keep you updated, xoxo, DCGG
As Ice Cube would say...It was a Good Day
Woke up and had my ego soothed and mind put to rest...my nameless man is human...and overworked. This trip to the Phillapeans is gonna suck...Afterall, being told I'm beautiful each morning is kinda nice.
In other, equally exciting news... The Prophet is returning!!! (New subscribers, use your search function. Lol, I'm not a zealot, its just a nickname.) So, yay! Him and his wife should be here on the 4th.
More news! The move is awesome...for those who don't get twitter feeds and Daily updates...I moved condos yesterday. Flowers, and housewarming gifts may now be sent to unit 635. ;)
Lol. I just realized I am living on the Upper East Side now. Irony. Go figure.
That's all. War and Peace is a beast. 1 page is like Ambien...off to hit Snooze.
xoxo
In other, equally exciting news... The Prophet is returning!!! (New subscribers, use your search function. Lol, I'm not a zealot, its just a nickname.) So, yay! Him and his wife should be here on the 4th.
More news! The move is awesome...for those who don't get twitter feeds and Daily updates...I moved condos yesterday. Flowers, and housewarming gifts may now be sent to unit 635. ;)
Lol. I just realized I am living on the Upper East Side now. Irony. Go figure.
That's all. War and Peace is a beast. 1 page is like Ambien...off to hit Snooze.
xoxo
Jazz's Cement Shoes....
According to a quick Google search, "A "Disney Kiss" is an enchanting spellbinding moment."
Thank goddess for me, Jazz is my crusher of spirits and dasher of dreams...or as per title...she becomes my cement shoes every time I start to float to Cloud 9.
*sigh. But allow me be in the clouds for a moment...
First kisses....aren't they the best? You only get one shot at it being just right...and when a guy does get it right, well, you can be left breathless.
My still nick-nameless guy is making his way into my universe, and if Jazz isn't on her game I might be swept away...but fate is on Jazz's side, and nameless has a business trip for two weeks...meaning, I may be forced to date....I know I know. Nothing I should complain about. But, really I'm telling you girls, make the Disney and First Kisses last...the coffee and cocktails don't hold a candle. ;)
Thank goddess for me, Jazz is my crusher of spirits and dasher of dreams...or as per title...she becomes my cement shoes every time I start to float to Cloud 9.
*sigh. But allow me be in the clouds for a moment...
First kisses....aren't they the best? You only get one shot at it being just right...and when a guy does get it right, well, you can be left breathless.
My still nick-nameless guy is making his way into my universe, and if Jazz isn't on her game I might be swept away...but fate is on Jazz's side, and nameless has a business trip for two weeks...meaning, I may be forced to date....I know I know. Nothing I should complain about. But, really I'm telling you girls, make the Disney and First Kisses last...the coffee and cocktails don't hold a candle. ;)
a day of rest
So I have a headache. And -I'm not the only one. Work was tiring...yes, I worked on a Sunday...but, the newest guy...no nickname yet, is really starting to get to me...like really. Update, all other guys were eliminated last week. =Per Jazz, this was necessary to find the "right guy." And well, maybe she had a point...there were some seriousb issues.
Anyways, new guy is sweet, and he calls, and he's a different kind of cute--I.e. tall, dark, and handsome...a big departure from my tall, white, and insane ...but who knows, I'm sure I can find the pychopath in this one...I mean hell, they are drawn to me ;)
No, but in truth, cross your fingers little universe, this gossip girl could use a little more romance than the pizza guy.
Xoxo,
DCGG
Anyways, new guy is sweet, and he calls, and he's a different kind of cute--I.e. tall, dark, and handsome...a big departure from my tall, white, and insane ...but who knows, I'm sure I can find the pychopath in this one...I mean hell, they are drawn to me ;)
No, but in truth, cross your fingers little universe, this gossip girl could use a little more romance than the pizza guy.
Xoxo,
DCGG
Doesn't know what to say...
A lot has left her speechless this week...
Highs have been amazing...
Transformers, great work, great visits....
New-ness on the horizon...
I wake up smiling with a plan at hand....in the new planner....
and yet, it took a railway collision to have my Daddy call me to say he loves me....
again and again...but I'll take it.
The man in the mirror is barely reflected.
and an angel is now in heaven....
Craziness. In the end, I love my universe....with all its flaws and complications. It makes a rainy day that much easier, when a text comes in saying, I hope your day is great. :)
Highs have been amazing...
Transformers, great work, great visits....
New-ness on the horizon...
I wake up smiling with a plan at hand....in the new planner....
and yet, it took a railway collision to have my Daddy call me to say he loves me....
again and again...but I'll take it.
The man in the mirror is barely reflected.
and an angel is now in heaven....
Craziness. In the end, I love my universe....with all its flaws and complications. It makes a rainy day that much easier, when a text comes in saying, I hope your day is great. :)
Short Life
There once was a lady in waiting
Let's call her Jane.
That girl wasn't ordinary-
No way for me a lady stuck in waiting
I'd rather battle fire-breathing dragons
I knew I could prove that a girl could be a Knight
Though my friends all laughed at me
but...
I wouldn't be discouraged and trained in secret
Then a dragon pinched the Royal Prince
and everyone was freaking
So I went alone to the dragon's home
to slay the dragon
Hey now, hey now now
Jane and the Dragon are best friends now
Dragon's sweet, he let me save the young Prince
Then the King made me a Knight apprentice
Hey now hey now now...
With Dragon's help I'll be a Knight someday
Let's call her Jane.
That girl wasn't ordinary-
No way for me a lady stuck in waiting
I'd rather battle fire-breathing dragons
I knew I could prove that a girl could be a Knight
Though my friends all laughed at me
but...
I wouldn't be discouraged and trained in secret
Then a dragon pinched the Royal Prince
and everyone was freaking
So I went alone to the dragon's home
to slay the dragon
Hey now, hey now now
Jane and the Dragon are best friends now
Dragon's sweet, he let me save the young Prince
Then the King made me a Knight apprentice
Hey now hey now now...
With Dragon's help I'll be a Knight someday
Dating is sooo much harder
Okay,
So, I'm gonna put it out there...Dating guys is weird, and hard. Most of ya'll that know me realize I'm trying this whole "dating thing."
Yeah, um. So I met someone. Who at first, was like wow...and now I'm like um, wow? And all the guys I was like, um, not this weekend, I'm like, yeah, about that coffee?
Kinda tragic. Anyways, amen for worrk and gym, and moving.
Such a waste of a summer! I need to go out.
So, I'm gonna put it out there...Dating guys is weird, and hard. Most of ya'll that know me realize I'm trying this whole "dating thing."
Yeah, um. So I met someone. Who at first, was like wow...and now I'm like um, wow? And all the guys I was like, um, not this weekend, I'm like, yeah, about that coffee?
Kinda tragic. Anyways, amen for worrk and gym, and moving.
Such a waste of a summer! I need to go out.
Gun Control
So I just woke up and had the worst dream. It made me wanna buy a gun. I'm pretty scared. As independent as I am, I suddenly feel like I'm vulnerable, so what do I do, I look at gun laws. If keller gets a gun, I can too? Thoughts welcome.
transitions-better ones, even
So, hmmm, oddness.
Amjur queen flaked on me on Wednesday, and cheese guy had a family thing on Thursday, and mr boots wife lost her grandfather, cancelling the plans he made with me.
However...work was cancelled today, queen showed up bought me lunch, both men called and want to reschedule, a random guy I care not to remember asked me out for drinks, which I declined, then africa boy invited me over for eggs manana, another cook wants to see if he can cook something up next week...and, and, I was given a maybe visit by the EFG, - fortunatelly I didn't waste any lip gloss, as I'm pretty sure it would be illegal if he attempted to come over...
Bad to say you're coming and not, forgivable to say you MAY come then flake...I'm guessing the latter, anyways. Played fetch with the cat and discovered like 10 new channels! Yay qubo!!! Its may FAVORITE!
Lastly G1, twitter, cl responses for the crap I'm selling, and reassurring emails make me smile
Yay good day!
Amjur queen flaked on me on Wednesday, and cheese guy had a family thing on Thursday, and mr boots wife lost her grandfather, cancelling the plans he made with me.
However...work was cancelled today, queen showed up bought me lunch, both men called and want to reschedule, a random guy I care not to remember asked me out for drinks, which I declined, then africa boy invited me over for eggs manana, another cook wants to see if he can cook something up next week...and, and, I was given a maybe visit by the EFG, - fortunatelly I didn't waste any lip gloss, as I'm pretty sure it would be illegal if he attempted to come over...
Bad to say you're coming and not, forgivable to say you MAY come then flake...I'm guessing the latter, anyways. Played fetch with the cat and discovered like 10 new channels! Yay qubo!!! Its may FAVORITE!
Lastly G1, twitter, cl responses for the crap I'm selling, and reassurring emails make me smile
Yay good day!
There's Noithing Final about that....
*Sigh....and Grrrrrr.
So stupid bad fight with Michigan tonight...The third in like 3 weeks.
*sigh....I get that he's stressed out (Bar Prep)...but so help me Goddess, there are few things that deserve a cooling off period, and he is the effing freezer. I don't even want to talk to him until the Stupid Bar is over.
BUT... in other HAPPY news....I have reached a new level of man-lust-level, and watched a basketball game on TV for Ethnic Food Guy (EFG?) -Yeah, I hate watching any sports on TV. And he knows this...Lol, and yet, we made a bet requiring me to watch Game 4.
Lets just say, I was loosing... but didn't ;)
Now that I've watched game 4, well, it's not that bad.
AND THERES PUPPETS IN THE NBA, Why wouldn't I love that? ;)
So stupid bad fight with Michigan tonight...The third in like 3 weeks.
*sigh....I get that he's stressed out (Bar Prep)...but so help me Goddess, there are few things that deserve a cooling off period, and he is the effing freezer. I don't even want to talk to him until the Stupid Bar is over.
BUT... in other HAPPY news....I have reached a new level of man-lust-level, and watched a basketball game on TV for Ethnic Food Guy (EFG?) -Yeah, I hate watching any sports on TV. And he knows this...Lol, and yet, we made a bet requiring me to watch Game 4.
Lets just say, I was loosing... but didn't ;)
Now that I've watched game 4, well, it's not that bad.
AND THERES PUPPETS IN THE NBA, Why wouldn't I love that? ;)
PiMinTon!
I'm wide awake, watching cooking on PBS....
and...I did it. I was honest with every guy I have talked to in this whole "dating" scenario...Unless, he hasn't called or emailed me back....(I mean, they don't get courtesy if they bail first, right? i.e. if they're not interested in a another date, why would I call them saying, "Um, I like someone else..." Riiiight?)
Anyways people. Listen: The Follow-Up, The Call Back....yes, Michigan... it counts for a LOT!
If you've been following, that means the following guys have been eliminated....
* The Salesman. 2 dates, no call back. Done.
* The Attorney. Cocktails, kiss on cheek that I didn't expect...No call back. Done.
That leaves:
* The Ethnic Food Guy....who I thought before meeting was pretty damn perfect....and after meeting in fact, still kinda is. In sum, he emailed and followed up. He called back after the first date. He asked me out again....And despite Jazzy's threat to kick me if I stop dating other guys to be wrapped on this "ONE"..I just may...Lol. (No mds aren't so low as to accepting any guy that calls back, but this one, I don't know...got a feelin'?)
Anyways "Ethnic Food Guy" -he has been "re-named" to a cuter pet name, but that along with his real name is on a need to know basis. (Real friends know...) Suffice it to say, Ethnic Food Guy gets a Second date.
BUT, because Jazzy kicks hard: and because this just-a-guy-kinda-guy tempted me with a copy of War and Peace; I've agreed to another "coffee." *giggles* This new person to the "mix" is self-named the "Cheese Guy." Isn't it Amazing, when guys are smart enough to Google...we'll see if he follows up or is added to the list of "not even a date"
-I actually really like good cheese...like good wine and cheese, yum yum. (and apples with cracked black pepper says Jacques P'pin)
Okay. Enough for now.
xoxo my universe
and...I did it. I was honest with every guy I have talked to in this whole "dating" scenario...Unless, he hasn't called or emailed me back....(I mean, they don't get courtesy if they bail first, right? i.e. if they're not interested in a another date, why would I call them saying, "Um, I like someone else..." Riiiight?)
Anyways people. Listen: The Follow-Up, The Call Back....yes, Michigan... it counts for a LOT!
If you've been following, that means the following guys have been eliminated....
* The Salesman. 2 dates, no call back. Done.
* The Attorney. Cocktails, kiss on cheek that I didn't expect...No call back. Done.
That leaves:
* The Ethnic Food Guy....who I thought before meeting was pretty damn perfect....and after meeting in fact, still kinda is. In sum, he emailed and followed up. He called back after the first date. He asked me out again....And despite Jazzy's threat to kick me if I stop dating other guys to be wrapped on this "ONE"..I just may...Lol. (No mds aren't so low as to accepting any guy that calls back, but this one, I don't know...got a feelin'?)
Anyways "Ethnic Food Guy" -he has been "re-named" to a cuter pet name, but that along with his real name is on a need to know basis. (Real friends know...) Suffice it to say, Ethnic Food Guy gets a Second date.
BUT, because Jazzy kicks hard: and because this just-a-guy-kinda-guy tempted me with a copy of War and Peace; I've agreed to another "coffee." *giggles* This new person to the "mix" is self-named the "Cheese Guy." Isn't it Amazing, when guys are smart enough to Google...we'll see if he follows up or is added to the list of "not even a date"
-I actually really like good cheese...like good wine and cheese, yum yum. (and apples with cracked black pepper says Jacques P'pin)
Okay. Enough for now.
xoxo my universe
Quickness.
1) It is my uneducated and unprofessional oppinion that A.D.D. is caused by Elmo's World.
First, the entire world is "created" by a monster that draws on the walls with a Blue Crayon and talks to a Goldfish.
-My mom would have beat me if I decided to go nuts on a wall and be like "HaHa, Door!" and then jump up and down....Yeah. Just Sayin'.
2) I feel really loved and productive today.
Visits last night from Amjur Queen, and tonight from Jazzy, and Tomorow is Queenie again, and I'm going to the bookstore on Thursday, and meeting Mr.Boots on Friday... Wait, what? Who?!?!
---YES, Mr. Boots. To some of you this is code to call me now, and tell me under no circumstances am I to leave my house. Some of you may even proceed to ask me to turn in my metro card, my phone, laptop, any and all sources to communication, including matchbooks...I am part native, and an army guy probably could read smoke signals....BUT
BUT...BUT...Hear me out...
I am older, and wiser, and well, we all grow up eventually right? Right?
For the new comers....this may be a prime time to use your little "search" function in Left hand corner...."Mr. Boots" has waaaaay to much of a story to pretend to catch anyone up on....
Suffice it to say, Mr. Boots is married, he knows I'm dating. He knows I'm happy...I really really really am Happy. So Maybe this time, It'll all be okay. Saturday Follows Friday, and while the list has dwindled and been reformed....A friendly ghost will be taking my time this weekend, and it's not MR. Boots. He gets Friday. Casper gets my weekend....
In that vein, I give you the song in my head: "Maybe it Was Me" by Matt Jones.
http://www.pocket-tunes.com/artists/matt/tracks/03%20-%20Matt%20Jones%20-%20Better%20Transitions%20-%20Maybe%20it%20was%20me.mp3
Lyrics provided by: http://www.sweetslyrics.com/442749.Matt%20Jones%20-%20Maybe%20It%20Was%20Me.html
First, the entire world is "created" by a monster that draws on the walls with a Blue Crayon and talks to a Goldfish.
-My mom would have beat me if I decided to go nuts on a wall and be like "HaHa, Door!" and then jump up and down....Yeah. Just Sayin'.
2) I feel really loved and productive today.
Visits last night from Amjur Queen, and tonight from Jazzy, and Tomorow is Queenie again, and I'm going to the bookstore on Thursday, and meeting Mr.Boots on Friday... Wait, what? Who?!?!
---YES, Mr. Boots. To some of you this is code to call me now, and tell me under no circumstances am I to leave my house. Some of you may even proceed to ask me to turn in my metro card, my phone, laptop, any and all sources to communication, including matchbooks...I am part native, and an army guy probably could read smoke signals....BUT
BUT...BUT...Hear me out...
I am older, and wiser, and well, we all grow up eventually right? Right?
For the new comers....this may be a prime time to use your little "search" function in Left hand corner...."Mr. Boots" has waaaaay to much of a story to pretend to catch anyone up on....
Suffice it to say, Mr. Boots is married, he knows I'm dating. He knows I'm happy...I really really really am Happy. So Maybe this time, It'll all be okay. Saturday Follows Friday, and while the list has dwindled and been reformed....A friendly ghost will be taking my time this weekend, and it's not MR. Boots. He gets Friday. Casper gets my weekend....
In that vein, I give you the song in my head: "Maybe it Was Me" by Matt Jones.
http://www.pocket-tunes.com/artists/matt/tracks/03%20-%20Matt%20Jones%20-%20Better%20Transitions%20-%20Maybe%20it%20was%20me.mp3
Lyrics provided by: http://www.sweetslyrics.com/442749.Matt%20Jones%20-%20Maybe%20It%20Was%20Me.html
Twitt that I am
I decided to grow up....
So, 1) I now have a professional Twitt Account....
and 2) I have my somewhat "anonymous" DCGossipGirl Twitt Account.
Why. Because I'm about to do some serious clean up on my Social Networking....
Its too important now a days to pretend you can't Google me. So, close friends...yeah, you know how to gain access to both. ;)
So, 1) I now have a professional Twitt Account....
and 2) I have my somewhat "anonymous" DCGossipGirl Twitt Account.
Why. Because I'm about to do some serious clean up on my Social Networking....
Its too important now a days to pretend you can't Google me. So, close friends...yeah, you know how to gain access to both. ;)
Is laughing as she watches the Today show
Their link isn't up...but check the table of contents for "Rules"
Hilarious....and yet, I've started doing it....
http://www.amazon.com/How-Shop-Husband-Consumer-Getting/dp/0312549989#reader
Hilarious....and yet, I've started doing it....
http://www.amazon.com/How-Shop-Husband-Consumer-Getting/dp/0312549989#reader
Fallin' into Place
So...I have some rants, some raves, and some advice:
1) As the Recessionista that I am, I've decided people should be well aware of some things they should and shouldn't spend their money on,
DO... Spend your money on....
-----------
New Topic: So I've started Dating....
Yeah yeah yeah, thanks to Jazzy's suggestion, I finally decided to put myself out there and start saying yes to coffee and no to the bar scene "let me take you to breakfast" lines....So...in sum. I'm dating. Like Michigan makes fun of me because I meet guys randomly (say at a CVS picking out gummie bears) or off Craigslist because someone had a concert ticket....
but...point is. I am "dating." Like a "good girl." Well, like a very bored girl....WHICH now...the boredom has ended BECAUSE....
------------
New Topic: I got a Job. Two in fact.
One. Working as a 501-c3 "consultant" -Jaz is right, the term consultant is a catch all. and Two. As a "research assistant" to my martian professor. Who btw, Amjur Queen swears I am sleeping with (WHICH IM NOT) --jeeze
-----
So...Things are falling into place AND I'm fallin right along with them. Quick summary on the "Cast" of my Universe as it currently stands (haven't done the cast update in a while)
1) As the Recessionista that I am, I've decided people should be well aware of some things they should and shouldn't spend their money on,
DO... Spend your money on....
- A good razor. Both I and a GF have some beautiful knicks....simply put. OUCH!
- A good wax job. Yeah, I said it. After going back to shaving in an emergency bathing suit situation, I decided, never again. YEAH, not worth it. And don't think you can save money by going to a wam-bam-25 dollar place either. Pay the full 35 Sister. Love yourself, and He will thank you later.
- Good detergent. Really. Clean is not always clean.
- Good Hair Care Products, Facial Cleansers, etc. There is a difference. But hey, your look...
- Good Toilet Paper....You know, when I'm in someone's bathroom, I notice these things. I know you do too.
- Designer Labels...at least not until they go on sale. Really, you can wait till Friday. And no one knows you got it at Ross or TJMax or where-ever...unless they're their with you, and TRUST, she's not telling anyone.
- Anti-bacterial "brand name products"-really I know swine flu is everywhere, but the 99 cent brand of anti-whatever goop is the same as the name brand stuff. REALLY people, it's alcohol in a water based lubricant. Get over it.
- Smelly plug in the wall stuff. Same deal as above. Smelly stuff in wax or melted oil. No one cares as long as it works.
- Name brand bleach. Like really. Bleach is bleach.
-----------
New Topic: So I've started Dating....
Yeah yeah yeah, thanks to Jazzy's suggestion, I finally decided to put myself out there and start saying yes to coffee and no to the bar scene "let me take you to breakfast" lines....So...in sum. I'm dating. Like Michigan makes fun of me because I meet guys randomly (say at a CVS picking out gummie bears) or off Craigslist because someone had a concert ticket....
but...point is. I am "dating." Like a "good girl." Well, like a very bored girl....WHICH now...the boredom has ended BECAUSE....
------------
New Topic: I got a Job. Two in fact.
One. Working as a 501-c3 "consultant" -Jaz is right, the term consultant is a catch all. and Two. As a "research assistant" to my martian professor. Who btw, Amjur Queen swears I am sleeping with (WHICH IM NOT) --jeeze
-----
So...Things are falling into place AND I'm fallin right along with them. Quick summary on the "Cast" of my Universe as it currently stands (haven't done the cast update in a while)
CAST (in order of appearance or as I remember)
- Michigan-is back in the Middle of Everything, and alas, still single although homeboy got play last I heard. (woot woot!) I can say that, cause I know he never reads this...
- My Niles-visited last weekend. And may I say, Adult Slumber PArties are the best. I am a total convert, and Will be throwing at least, AT LEAST two slumber parties this summer once I'm moved....In sum though, his trip was everything I've missed, needed, and wanted for the 12 years I've known him....I do love you. (Warm Cambell's mmm mmm good feeling)
- Jazzy- is back! Yay! She keeps me sane, and grounded, and good. Like a private mom.
- Amjur Queen- is working, Like me-and has thus disappeared--like me, lol.
- The 3L Finally started emailing me again. and I'm happy, because despite the mixed signals, I did like the guy...
- The guy I want to go to Africa with--hot, white boy roommate...yeah, he emailed....I should respond to that....So cute, and he cooks eggs.... I'm so easy to please
- My Entourage, was just over the other day...and totally spoiled a coffee date I was on. It was priceless. We got him a new apartment, then we looked at my new phone..
- Speaking of. The New G1. Yeah. I love it. (That is all....)
- The Salesman. we'll see.
- The Attorney. we'll see.
- The Ethnic food Guy....pretty damn perfect....we'll see. and then,
- there's This guy with a Brain.....
- Finally, Someone-is coming to NY...I'm thinking I'm invited. I'm thinking I'm going if I am.
- Which btw....love to my TX crush, and my BFF J. Who also never reads this. :)
Dance Monkey, Dance!
Dear Universe, aka All,
Lately, my immediate inclination is to add media, a witty comment, or vague lyrics and let the readers interpret them as they may; but, alas, my antics have caused worry.
So to reassure all, I am "okay." Temporary insanity. But no worries, they make pills and elixirs for my ails...Thus, let me fill in my little universe.
A new boy will be joining the Hustlers, and being a friend of a friend, I have decided to take him under my wing. As he stated, he is now part of my "Entourage." Said Entourage has now taken me to movies, out to happy hours, and been the recipient of my home made cooking goodness...No. We are NOT together. He is cool, and as long as he heeds the warning not to fall for anyone at school, he might be okay. Lol. --But then again, I couldn't pull that when I had two years of knowing better, could I??? Hopefully, Entourage is smarter than me.
Speaking of happy hours, and not one to stick to the script of being the DC GossipGirl, but I will say I am interested in seeing who will be the Queen Bee-yonce next term. "A diva is the female version of the Hustler..." --It is clear that S still seeks the limelight, and on that topic we finally spoke. Short, and via text, but friendly. I'm good.
As to the 3L, who I can only now assume is graduated (?), he has been renamed, by the ladies who I spent my Barristers, and graduation celebrations with. A la, the movie Harvard. The girls have named graduating 3L "homeless"--No, nott because he isn't attractive, or intellegient, etc, etc, I don't want anyone misinterpretting. Against all my brain matter, I still find that man "cha cha cha"*, -remember, I very much was caught up, so we know he had to be good...-Or very very bad...but...point, he is "Homeless," because the girls swear they never saw this man in their lives, and asked me continually if he was even enrolled in the school. Literally, our Editors insight, "he's homeless, and just sneaks into class. I've never seen him in my life"
--Mind you, this was week 2 of celebrations. But yet, it's not shocking.
Btw, if he happens to be reading, which I doubt....I should address his frequent appearances:
Dear Homeless, please realize people think my heart is crushed because of you....and truth be told it was. Yes, I'm not dense, I realize we never actually dated. But girls are stupid and sometimes we get caught up. It was my fault for breaking all the rules, and thinking I could like a boy at school without reprucussions. But people talk, and people did ask, and yes, while you think no one notices you....they did. And when you left, they noticed that too.
Nonetheless, perhaps as my Ipod blares "Fighter" by Christina Aguillera, and I strap on gloves to hit at air, I'll actually thank my Homeless for making me that much stronger. If had to fall, and I'm glad it was him, he remained a gentleman. A disappearing magician of a gentleman, but I guess he always knew how to pull a Superman.
(BTW, if you've remembered a previous post.... I picked the wrong toy for that song....(hint, hint: I can't punch the new shiny toy...) Also, BTW, gym time has become an everyday occurence. Lets see if it works. doing more crunches than cookie monster should get me smewhere.
Okay, well that's all.
Oh wait...PSA...I am still single, btw. (despite J kicking me out of the club) ---It seems to be rumored that my "friends" are "relationships"--um, lets end that cycle shall we.
It is summer, and everyone is giving into their hedonistic ways. Myself of course included.
Sleep tight universe.
Lately, my immediate inclination is to add media, a witty comment, or vague lyrics and let the readers interpret them as they may; but, alas, my antics have caused worry.
So to reassure all, I am "okay." Temporary insanity. But no worries, they make pills and elixirs for my ails...Thus, let me fill in my little universe.
A new boy will be joining the Hustlers, and being a friend of a friend, I have decided to take him under my wing. As he stated, he is now part of my "Entourage." Said Entourage has now taken me to movies, out to happy hours, and been the recipient of my home made cooking goodness...No. We are NOT together. He is cool, and as long as he heeds the warning not to fall for anyone at school, he might be okay. Lol. --But then again, I couldn't pull that when I had two years of knowing better, could I??? Hopefully, Entourage is smarter than me.
Speaking of happy hours, and not one to stick to the script of being the DC GossipGirl, but I will say I am interested in seeing who will be the Queen Bee-yonce next term. "A diva is the female version of the Hustler..." --It is clear that S still seeks the limelight, and on that topic we finally spoke. Short, and via text, but friendly. I'm good.
As to the 3L, who I can only now assume is graduated (?), he has been renamed, by the ladies who I spent my Barristers, and graduation celebrations with. A la, the movie Harvard. The girls have named graduating 3L "homeless"--No, nott because he isn't attractive, or intellegient, etc, etc, I don't want anyone misinterpretting. Against all my brain matter, I still find that man "cha cha cha"*, -remember, I very much was caught up, so we know he had to be good...-Or very very bad...but...point, he is "Homeless," because the girls swear they never saw this man in their lives, and asked me continually if he was even enrolled in the school. Literally, our Editors insight, "he's homeless, and just sneaks into class. I've never seen him in my life"
--Mind you, this was week 2 of celebrations. But yet, it's not shocking.
Btw, if he happens to be reading, which I doubt....I should address his frequent appearances:
Dear Homeless, please realize people think my heart is crushed because of you....and truth be told it was. Yes, I'm not dense, I realize we never actually dated. But girls are stupid and sometimes we get caught up. It was my fault for breaking all the rules, and thinking I could like a boy at school without reprucussions. But people talk, and people did ask, and yes, while you think no one notices you....they did. And when you left, they noticed that too.
Nonetheless, perhaps as my Ipod blares "Fighter" by Christina Aguillera, and I strap on gloves to hit at air, I'll actually thank my Homeless for making me that much stronger. If had to fall, and I'm glad it was him, he remained a gentleman. A disappearing magician of a gentleman, but I guess he always knew how to pull a Superman.
(BTW, if you've remembered a previous post.... I picked the wrong toy for that song....(hint, hint: I can't punch the new shiny toy...) Also, BTW, gym time has become an everyday occurence. Lets see if it works. doing more crunches than cookie monster should get me smewhere.
Okay, well that's all.
Oh wait...PSA...I am still single, btw. (despite J kicking me out of the club) ---It seems to be rumored that my "friends" are "relationships"--um, lets end that cycle shall we.
It is summer, and everyone is giving into their hedonistic ways. Myself of course included.
Sleep tight universe.
"The world believes it, and I'm going crazy"
Lately I've been hard to reach, I've been too long on my own
Everybody has a private world, where they can be alone
Are you calling me? Are you trying to get through?
Are you reaching out for me? I'm reaching out for you
Well you say I’m crazy cause I can’t make up my mind
But I wont let it faze me instead I'll leave all these thoughts behind
Cause they say that you got some one who’s wasting your time
Well that’s alright cause I got someone who’s wasting mine
It’s in the way you move
Baby what you’re doing to me?
I can’t stand it I can’t hold back
... see the guys tryna’ holla?
... I don’t want to bother you,
Cuz I'm independent but you got my attention
There must be an angel with a smile on her face
When she thought up that I should be with you.
Everybody has a private world, where they can be alone
Are you calling me? Are you trying to get through?
Are you reaching out for me? I'm reaching out for you
Well you say I’m crazy cause I can’t make up my mind
But I wont let it faze me instead I'll leave all these thoughts behind
Cause they say that you got some one who’s wasting your time
Well that’s alright cause I got someone who’s wasting mine
It’s in the way you move
Baby what you’re doing to me?
I can’t stand it I can’t hold back
... see the guys tryna’ holla?
... I don’t want to bother you,
Cuz I'm independent but you got my attention
There must be an angel with a smile on her face
When she thought up that I should be with you.
Sometimes you get the honey, sometimes you get the sting...
My Warrior friend told me in the worst way:
"I've forgotten where I come from...."
Nothing could have hurt more. And I was pissed. Where did he get off....Then this morning I realized, I miss speaking Zulu! Why? When did I stop speaking Lakota, or better my own tounge? Another identity realization. Maybe.
This morning I spent $30 to pay for two memberships, in organizations I felt I deeply needed.
My new goal this summer: To have myself together by August 10th.
Body, Mind...and now, a neglected Spirit.
****
In other news...all my favorite men messaged sine someone special. But alas, darlin' I could never be distraught, if only you would keep me in your thoughts.
Have you and my universe in mine.
: I blurted it out; it was like word vomit.
: Then you slipped in that word vomit and you fell on your ass now you're covered in word vomit.
: Then you slipped in that word vomit and you fell on your ass now you're covered in word vomit.
Sorry, so Sorry
And that's why I'm wondering why
You had to tell me
What's going on in your head
What's wrong
Come around to another time when you
Don't have to run
And when she says she
wants somebody else
I hope you know that
she doesn't mean you
And when she breaks down
and makes a sound
You'll never hear her the way that I do
And when she says she
wants someone to love
I hope you know that she
doesn't mean you
And when she breaks down
and lets you down
I hope you know that she
doesn't mean to
You had to tell me
What's going on in your head
What's wrong
Come around to another time when you
Don't have to run
And when she says she
wants somebody else
I hope you know that
she doesn't mean you
And when she breaks down
and makes a sound
You'll never hear her the way that I do
And when she says she
wants someone to love
I hope you know that she
doesn't mean you
And when she breaks down
and lets you down
I hope you know that she
doesn't mean to
The Transition
So, once more it's happening.
The reluctant letting go of the hopeful in exchange for the possibility of happiness.
From pleading, to warning, to making myself happy-by force if necessary.
The reluctant letting go of the hopeful in exchange for the possibility of happiness.
From pleading, to warning, to making myself happy-by force if necessary.
Stepmom and the Tounge-Tied
Yesterday was Mother's Day. My real mother did not pick up the phone...So I Facebooked her. Go figure.
Then there's the obligatory phone call to my step mom.
No lies. It was definitely a Cinderella and Stepmom relationship for the longest time. But I'm getting used to her, and she's realizing that I'm only my Father's world when we make the time to see each other. So, yeah she's safe for the other 362 days of the year. (IF I stay that long.)
After what 18 years, The exchange was slightly uplifting. (To sumarize the 6 months we hadn't spoken, here it was...)
:Hey Mom.
:???
: Yeah, its me. How are you?
: Good. How are you?
: Good. Happy Mother's Day.
: Um, Thank you. How is school? [Trying to sound sincere though confused.]
: It's good. I just finished exams. [I notes she doesn't care, and I've been done for two weeks.]
:Oh really? How did you do?
: I don't care.
: Dad wants to know what your GPA is. [Dad is in background, "Ask her what her grades are."]
: I don't know yet. [Relays] I did great, tell him I did great. [Relays]
: Well, thank you for calling. You partying? Sleeping in late? [I note she wants me partying in law school. Perfect parenting skills at work.]
: Yeah, I've been out for a bit. Trying to stay in tomorrow and read a new book. [I want to go into the Starbucks I've arrived at.]
: Good. (Sounds dissapointed)
: (laughs) No worries mom, I've had a good time the past few nights celebrating. [I smile at the fact that I'm dissapointed in my morals and she's proud.]
: Oh! Good! New boy? New girl? [She loves to think I sleep around. I think its vicarious slutty-ness]
: Um, not yet. But I'll work on it. [I notes she still has no idea who I date, and think on last summer.... I wonder if I could call her?]
: Hey, you mind if we crash at your place this summer while we drive up to New York.
: [I note the non-invitation to New York] Sure Mom. Whatever.
: Cool. We'll go get you drunk when we come up. [Looking to hang up]
: Cool. [lol] Well have a good day.
: (Relief) You too....Um, thanks again for calling. [This time it is sincere.]
: No problem Mom. Tell Dad and everyone I love them.
***
-Since last posting, I was offered another job that doesn't pay.
-I was also emailed by a man who offered me another job helping in Uganda...Same man who I emailed at 2am two nights ago to ask if I could come over for eggs. The email said nothing about the job, but asked why I haven't been over for eggs. *SMH*
-I am listening to a song that may answer that question.
-A friends asked if I want to go drink...At 8am today.
--It's 2:06 pm now, I'm going to go get that drink.
Then there's the obligatory phone call to my step mom.
No lies. It was definitely a Cinderella and Stepmom relationship for the longest time. But I'm getting used to her, and she's realizing that I'm only my Father's world when we make the time to see each other. So, yeah she's safe for the other 362 days of the year. (IF I stay that long.)
After what 18 years, The exchange was slightly uplifting. (To sumarize the 6 months we hadn't spoken, here it was...)
:Hey Mom.
:???
: Yeah, its me. How are you?
: Good. How are you?
: Good. Happy Mother's Day.
: Um, Thank you. How is school? [Trying to sound sincere though confused.]
: It's good. I just finished exams. [I notes she doesn't care, and I've been done for two weeks.]
:Oh really? How did you do?
: I don't care.
: Dad wants to know what your GPA is. [Dad is in background, "Ask her what her grades are."]
: I don't know yet. [Relays] I did great, tell him I did great. [Relays]
: Well, thank you for calling. You partying? Sleeping in late? [I note she wants me partying in law school. Perfect parenting skills at work.]
: Yeah, I've been out for a bit. Trying to stay in tomorrow and read a new book. [I want to go into the Starbucks I've arrived at.]
: Good. (Sounds dissapointed)
: (laughs) No worries mom, I've had a good time the past few nights celebrating. [I smile at the fact that I'm dissapointed in my morals and she's proud.]
: Oh! Good! New boy? New girl? [She loves to think I sleep around. I think its vicarious slutty-ness]
: Um, not yet. But I'll work on it. [I notes she still has no idea who I date, and think on last summer.... I wonder if I could call her?]
: Hey, you mind if we crash at your place this summer while we drive up to New York.
: [I note the non-invitation to New York] Sure Mom. Whatever.
: Cool. We'll go get you drunk when we come up. [Looking to hang up]
: Cool. [lol] Well have a good day.
: (Relief) You too....Um, thanks again for calling. [This time it is sincere.]
: No problem Mom. Tell Dad and everyone I love them.
***
-Since last posting, I was offered another job that doesn't pay.
-I was also emailed by a man who offered me another job helping in Uganda...Same man who I emailed at 2am two nights ago to ask if I could come over for eggs. The email said nothing about the job, but asked why I haven't been over for eggs. *SMH*
-I am listening to a song that may answer that question.
-A friends asked if I want to go drink...At 8am today.
--It's 2:06 pm now, I'm going to go get that drink.
Everybody Lies...
"...if you pussyfoot around it, she’s not going to read your mind"
"Okay."
"When you look in her face, you’re going to feel the instinct to temporize. Crush it."
*
I sent a boy home at 4:30 am this morning. He wanted to stay and make last night the 11th night I didn't sleep alone. *sigh. Silly freshman. --But the drinks, and the cab, and breakfast pizza were nice. In exchange, he received good council: namely, "Don't fall for anyone at school. No good can come of it."
No worries ya'll, I'm a "good girl." Despite the 'hype" the girls sleeping in my bed certainly out numbered any boys. I think ever? hmmmm.
Now, back to boys at school, "if only I had stuck to my rules." I'm getting better...?
Distraction or as deemed "time away" has been good... I've been partying like a rockstar, and while it's been brutal, I've looked amazing for the past two weeks. At least that's what boys tell me.
Alas, today was my cut off....no more clubs, no more parties, no more boys, just me, my book, and some self control.
Who knows. Maybe I've mastered this alone thing.
Lol...oR maybe I'll take up a friends offer and jump on a plane somewhere. anywhere.
I wonder if I can expense Uganda?
"Okay."
"When you look in her face, you’re going to feel the instinct to temporize. Crush it."
*
I sent a boy home at 4:30 am this morning. He wanted to stay and make last night the 11th night I didn't sleep alone. *sigh. Silly freshman. --But the drinks, and the cab, and breakfast pizza were nice. In exchange, he received good council: namely, "Don't fall for anyone at school. No good can come of it."
No worries ya'll, I'm a "good girl." Despite the 'hype" the girls sleeping in my bed certainly out numbered any boys. I think ever? hmmmm.
Now, back to boys at school, "if only I had stuck to my rules." I'm getting better...?
Distraction or as deemed "time away" has been good... I've been partying like a rockstar, and while it's been brutal, I've looked amazing for the past two weeks. At least that's what boys tell me.
Alas, today was my cut off....no more clubs, no more parties, no more boys, just me, my book, and some self control.
Who knows. Maybe I've mastered this alone thing.
Lol...oR maybe I'll take up a friends offer and jump on a plane somewhere. anywhere.
I wonder if I can expense Uganda?
A week in...
Its officially been a week of good hard "relaxing."
-Cookouts have gone indoors due to rain, but the sugar refuses to melt.
-My House has become the Hustlers Hotel with hardly ever a vacancy.
- I have simultaneously discovered the one beer I can drink enjoyably -to excess- is also now the one beer that I fear.
-Party busses live up to their name, especially when you know the bus driver -WELL- and ride for free.
- And yes, despite my insecurities, I am re-assured that both men and women enjoy My company. I have been asked out, sexually harrassed, and in fact, I may have a job due to My said enjoyable persona.
BUT ALAS; I suppose rejection still lingers. I still hold on.
Let me expand just a little. Girl likes guy. Guy knows girl likes him. Guy disappears.
Not what I expected.
I wasn't asking for a relationship. Nor was I trying to minimize his worth and look to him as a boy-toy....I didn't want his money, connections, or hell even a second date. I just wanted to see if their was more than a spark.
According to Michigan, this is My problem. I'm learning rejection for the first time. I want closure and understanding as to "why doesn't he like me?"
Michigan, who admittedly I have turned down, quotes the reasons he's received. -youre to short, -youre to young, youre too old, -we go to school together...blah blah blah. He points out, and I agree, these are all made up excuses masking the only real reason: "Im just not into you." - No reason. Just a feeling that isn't there.
So, we summize. I could continue to ask the question, "Why doesn't he like me?" But truthfully I know I need to come to grips with the idea that no matter the reason, it doesn't change the outcome: He's just not that into me.
Logically, I do get it, but the addage of Why doesn't your heart listen to your head kicks in. I still like this boy.
-Cookouts have gone indoors due to rain, but the sugar refuses to melt.
-My House has become the Hustlers Hotel with hardly ever a vacancy.
- I have simultaneously discovered the one beer I can drink enjoyably -to excess- is also now the one beer that I fear.
-Party busses live up to their name, especially when you know the bus driver -WELL- and ride for free.
- And yes, despite my insecurities, I am re-assured that both men and women enjoy My company. I have been asked out, sexually harrassed, and in fact, I may have a job due to My said enjoyable persona.
BUT ALAS; I suppose rejection still lingers. I still hold on.
Let me expand just a little. Girl likes guy. Guy knows girl likes him. Guy disappears.
Not what I expected.
I wasn't asking for a relationship. Nor was I trying to minimize his worth and look to him as a boy-toy....I didn't want his money, connections, or hell even a second date. I just wanted to see if their was more than a spark.
According to Michigan, this is My problem. I'm learning rejection for the first time. I want closure and understanding as to "why doesn't he like me?"
Michigan, who admittedly I have turned down, quotes the reasons he's received. -youre to short, -youre to young, youre too old, -we go to school together...blah blah blah. He points out, and I agree, these are all made up excuses masking the only real reason: "Im just not into you." - No reason. Just a feeling that isn't there.
So, we summize. I could continue to ask the question, "Why doesn't he like me?" But truthfully I know I need to come to grips with the idea that no matter the reason, it doesn't change the outcome: He's just not that into me.
Logically, I do get it, but the addage of Why doesn't your heart listen to your head kicks in. I still like this boy.
The Poem
The poem's meaning is on my mind, and now I have ever so little to lose. Thus, here it is to be viewed, dissected, misinterpreted, and perhaps finally out of my mind. [The capsulized legal explanation, and bold lines that follow, perhaps give the true meaning of why this is posted now.]
...I composed the following poem “Out of Sorts” as such a derivative work taking and refining an already existing copyrighted work (copyright established upon fixation/publishing) of an original French poem, “A une Damoyselle Malade” by Clément Marot and the English or Literal translation, “My Sweet/Cute [One] (Feminine)” by Clément Marot/D. Hofstadter.
.... as the poet, I did place my name directly into the poem, however I utilized (per technology of today a part of a “screen name,” utilizing “Lil” to encompass not only my name but the meaning of little. (Line14).
.... The idea of “unrequited love” [is] not copyrightable. The rhyming couplet scheme is not copyrightable. No words are matched whatsoever from either the original or the translation, and thus are not “copied.” Hence, though attribution is clearly given, the work “Out of Sorts” remains an original fixed thought, suitable for separate copyright in its arrangement of words alone.
The Zen Professor warned me. The Copyright professor laughed at me.
Yet, I said I wouldn't let go.
Out of Sorts
Exuded heat
You I meet
Embrace alone
On way home
You Detained
I refrained
To let go
Yours to know
Ailing heart
Past apart
Your mind caught
Mine sweet thought
Where to go
Lil' you know
Dear perhaps
Fear entraps
Escape sought
Feelings fought
Own Malaise
Void clichés
Care thrown
You alone
No one knows
Recovered pose
Embrace ends
Part as friends
You retreat
Exuded heat
Exuded heat
You I meet
Embrace alone
On way home
You Detained
I refrained
To let go
Yours to know
Ailing heart
Past apart
Your mind caught
Mine sweet thought
Where to go
Lil' you know
Dear perhaps
Fear entraps
Escape sought
Feelings fought
Own Malaise
Void clichés
Care thrown
You alone
No one knows
Recovered pose
Embrace ends
Part as friends
You retreat
Exuded heat
Project: Derivative Work
A “derivative work,” is a work that is based upon an already existing copyrighted work
.... as the poet, I did place my name directly into the poem, however I utilized (per technology of today a part of a “screen name,” utilizing “Lil” to encompass not only my name but the meaning of little. (Line14).
Like Hofstadter suggest, I minimized the use of gender in this poem, instead substituting “heat” which, arguable is a rhymed derivative of “sweet.” (Line 1, 28)
The Zen Professor warned me. The Copyright professor laughed at me.
Yet, I said I wouldn't let go.
with great power comes great responsibility
Many random thoughts on this Sunday morning.
I want to see X-men. I was supposed to see X-men. I have not seen X-men. It makes me sad.
I could make someone take me. Jazz has offered now to keep me from getting rejected. My fake dad-who I finally met yesterday would take me, but instead I have told him he can take me to lunch. yum. Sadly he tries too hard. But at least he'll be gone soon, and I will be done owing my mom a favor.
I want to see X-men. I was supposed to see X-men. I have not seen X-men. It makes me sad.
I could make someone take me. Jazz has offered now to keep me from getting rejected. My fake dad-who I finally met yesterday would take me, but instead I have told him he can take me to lunch. yum. Sadly he tries too hard. But at least he'll be gone soon, and I will be done owing my mom a favor.
Yup. Good Day
So. woke up at 3 thinking about the final--(about time). ...Okay. Good.
Got the courage to send a text message before the test....scary, good.
Got a message back, Wow, cheez'n, good.
Took the test--Okay, not so good.
Finished test, became a 3L! Now I don't care as long as I don't fail- good.
Had a beer, ate pizza, tried on ball gowns with girlfriends- stupid good
Cuddling with a novel, despite my lies on Facebook to do otherwise- smart good.
Being told by somebody you admire that you're their inspiration- Well, I cried a little. great.
It's day 1 of summer and its days until the end of the month... Let's see how much better it gets!
xoxo
Got the courage to send a text message before the test....scary, good.
Got a message back, Wow, cheez'n, good.
Took the test--Okay, not so good.
Finished test, became a 3L! Now I don't care as long as I don't fail- good.
Had a beer, ate pizza, tried on ball gowns with girlfriends- stupid good
Cuddling with a novel, despite my lies on Facebook to do otherwise- smart good.
Being told by somebody you admire that you're their inspiration- Well, I cried a little. great.
It's day 1 of summer and its days until the end of the month... Let's see how much better it gets!
xoxo
Shake them dice and roll 'em....
Just in the nick of time....
After a weekend of NO concentration, my fear of failure kicked in at oh 3:30 am....
So I'm off to Copyrights for my last exam....
To show everyone that this is a shear gamble (because I truly fear I know nothing), but in true lawyer fashion, I'll act like I do: I give you my FINALS ANTHEM: "Go Girl" by Pitbull
(i.e. This is what I listen to while I walk to my exam...hope you enjoy)
After a weekend of NO concentration, my fear of failure kicked in at oh 3:30 am....
So I'm off to Copyrights for my last exam....
To show everyone that this is a shear gamble (because I truly fear I know nothing), but in true lawyer fashion, I'll act like I do: I give you my FINALS ANTHEM: "Go Girl" by Pitbull
(i.e. This is what I listen to while I walk to my exam...hope you enjoy)
FB status hype
So, as part of keeping engaged with my books, I've created various status messages that hype up my involvement with my books. Insinuating, a real relationship, my most recent msg references a boys tie as a part of my infidelity to my Copyrights exam.
Sadly, lol, the tie belongs to a friend who would have lost it. He was carrying heavy boxes, removed it as to no ruin it, and I offered to hold it for him. Inadvertently, said tie came home with me as I had placed it around my neck for safe keeping. I know. Booooooo. Boring.
I am NOT so cool as to manage a tryst in NYC in the midst of Finals. Well, I am, but I didn't.
So, there ya are. The story behind the status. Yes, sadly Copyrights still has my full attention. Now....AFTER Finals...I am hoping to be a dollar in debt, and actually Officially, out on a date--a hoody, jeans, and movie date, but a date. guess, we'll see.
Sadly, lol, the tie belongs to a friend who would have lost it. He was carrying heavy boxes, removed it as to no ruin it, and I offered to hold it for him. Inadvertently, said tie came home with me as I had placed it around my neck for safe keeping. I know. Booooooo. Boring.
I am NOT so cool as to manage a tryst in NYC in the midst of Finals. Well, I am, but I didn't.
So, there ya are. The story behind the status. Yes, sadly Copyrights still has my full attention. Now....AFTER Finals...I am hoping to be a dollar in debt, and actually Officially, out on a date--a hoody, jeans, and movie date, but a date. guess, we'll see.
Eh?
The pizza guy woke me up. Thus, I am on 3 hours and an additional oh... 35 minutes of sleep?
But the 2 slices of pizza on wheat crust may have made it worth it.
Leading me to yet another listing of
You know its finals when...
-sleep sounds more appealing than food.
-food, is anything but...
-you not only know what the cereal diet is, you're currently on it.
-you are a fan of all things brought to you, including but not limited to pizza, and whatever study partners pick up: such as fast food and other "snacks" that seem to actually make up the only thing you eat for 8 hours straight (yeah, I'm balancing "Tasty Cakes and V8???")
-study partners are your only contact with the world as you know it.
-the topic of "finals sex" is not only known, but discussed as something one should engage in
-"people you would consider having finals sex with" may turn into a sidebar that you note requires Facebook checking.
-you secretly check Facebook and feel guilty for it.
-you feel you're entitled to check Facebook as a reward.
-you reward yourself with Finals "breaks" like "eating" or "sleeping"
-you are not only only annoyed by others discussing their lack of sleep, you feel compelled to compete with them with statements such as (well, see above).
-you leave your laundry in the laundry room for 2 days, because yes, you forgot
-caffeine has not only become a "perk" it has become a way of life.
-on the way to starbucks, the guy checking you out and trying to make small talk while you wait for your next fix, doesn't repulse you, because you're in sweats, and are reading your outline.
-you relish the fact that you're in finals and Sorry, No, he can not call.
-No one can call. (they fear waking you)
--your parents will not call you, but they send every form of encouragement possible via text, email, or [if brave] leave excessive encouraging voicemail when they know your phone is off.
--
-You start turning your phone off.
-you give your friends your blog address, because its easier to update this then write emails.
-you want to write because you are excited to be done with ONE final, but you won't call your friends for fear you'll wake or disturb them.
--Finally, you are excited that the Hard final that's over makes the others seem like cake in comparison while studying...
--Yes, you have become so sleep deprived, you think you understand the material you haven't comprehended or at least cared about enough all semester, based on the 8 hours you have finally decided to dedicate to the subject matter.
Hmmmm. Maybe it's just me. But I'm guessing, I'm not alone.
Now...back to hour nine....
But the 2 slices of pizza on wheat crust may have made it worth it.
Leading me to yet another listing of
You know its finals when...
-sleep sounds more appealing than food.
-food, is anything but...
-you not only know what the cereal diet is, you're currently on it.
-you are a fan of all things brought to you, including but not limited to pizza, and whatever study partners pick up: such as fast food and other "snacks" that seem to actually make up the only thing you eat for 8 hours straight (yeah, I'm balancing "Tasty Cakes and V8???")
-study partners are your only contact with the world as you know it.
-the topic of "finals sex" is not only known, but discussed as something one should engage in
-"people you would consider having finals sex with" may turn into a sidebar that you note requires Facebook checking.
-you secretly check Facebook and feel guilty for it.
-you feel you're entitled to check Facebook as a reward.
-you reward yourself with Finals "breaks" like "eating" or "sleeping"
-you are not only only annoyed by others discussing their lack of sleep, you feel compelled to compete with them with statements such as (well, see above).
-you leave your laundry in the laundry room for 2 days, because yes, you forgot
-caffeine has not only become a "perk" it has become a way of life.
-on the way to starbucks, the guy checking you out and trying to make small talk while you wait for your next fix, doesn't repulse you, because you're in sweats, and are reading your outline.
-you relish the fact that you're in finals and Sorry, No, he can not call.
-No one can call. (they fear waking you)
--your parents will not call you, but they send every form of encouragement possible via text, email, or [if brave] leave excessive encouraging voicemail when they know your phone is off.
--
-You start turning your phone off.
-you give your friends your blog address, because its easier to update this then write emails.
-you want to write because you are excited to be done with ONE final, but you won't call your friends for fear you'll wake or disturb them.
--Finally, you are excited that the Hard final that's over makes the others seem like cake in comparison while studying...
--Yes, you have become so sleep deprived, you think you understand the material you haven't comprehended or at least cared about enough all semester, based on the 8 hours you have finally decided to dedicate to the subject matter.
Hmmmm. Maybe it's just me. But I'm guessing, I'm not alone.
Now...back to hour nine....
What can't this phone do?
In addition to blogging, I can now order the perfect pizza from my phone without having to talk to anyone! Mobile technology. I am impressed. Now, if only I could cut and paste.
Finals Update: Tax-Done. 3 down, 3 to go
Been up since 1, so I'm gonna nap for 2...Waking just in time for pizza. Yummy.
Finals Update: Tax-Done. 3 down, 3 to go
Been up since 1, so I'm gonna nap for 2...Waking just in time for pizza. Yummy.
The Universe Giveth, Taketh Away, and Giveth some more...
FIRST...Good luck to anyone taking finals, as today I know is Sales, and Investment Management. [I'm deaf, but when I hear, I do pay attention ;)] -My first final; tommorow.
(a derrivative of an email I wrote that summed it up)....
So, its 4:36 am and I'm up. My body WOKE me up. BLAH!...
Here's me:
1) I'm going to Staples at 8am to get my Infamous Outline Books bound, but will obviously be back probably before normal people wake up, so....
2) that leaves Kitten who was gonna come over and eat lunch at my place, WHICH!....
3) If [you and] I plan right [my Tax study partner] will come by at the same time, so that we could all have lunch at the same time, and God love her, I can kick Kitten out so I can study. :)
---
As to the Universe,
So...I was at Office Depot, 2 days ago-Yes, it's finals, I go to office supply stores Like EVERY DAY.
-I needed Clear Lables to TAB- Now I don't know if you know, but those clear lables cost like 25 bucks for like 30 Sheets. SUCKS. -So, being out, I run to Office Depot down the street, (really willing to pay whatever needed) and I check the clearance section. Lo-and behold, I find a pack.
I go up to counter, and am like, how much for the mangled pack that has 1 sheet of labels.
Her response, "1 sheet? Sweetie, take it"
-I was like, "Score."
--
Yesterday, after a very wet and sweet walk to main campus,
I had picked up a Mc. Donald's sweet tea, which I had been craving for like a week. Yeah, I get to where I'm going, leave, have had like 2 sips. when I decide to hop on Metro train.
-My luck, the Transit police lady makes me throw my still full sweet tea in the trash. Womp-womp.
--
Not two hours later, after I finish picking up (ha-ha) dividers and the medicine that pulled me away from studies, the bus I catch to take me directly home has its charging machine busted. So, free $1.30 ride home.
Little things make me so happy.
(a derrivative of an email I wrote that summed it up)....
So, its 4:36 am and I'm up. My body WOKE me up. BLAH!...
Here's me:
1) I'm going to Staples at 8am to get my Infamous Outline Books bound, but will obviously be back probably before normal people wake up, so....
2) that leaves Kitten who was gonna come over and eat lunch at my place, WHICH!....
3) If [you and] I plan right [my Tax study partner] will come by at the same time, so that we could all have lunch at the same time, and God love her, I can kick Kitten out so I can study. :)
---
As to the Universe,
So...I was at Office Depot, 2 days ago-Yes, it's finals, I go to office supply stores Like EVERY DAY.
-I needed Clear Lables to TAB- Now I don't know if you know, but those clear lables cost like 25 bucks for like 30 Sheets. SUCKS. -So, being out, I run to Office Depot down the street, (really willing to pay whatever needed) and I check the clearance section. Lo-and behold, I find a pack.
I go up to counter, and am like, how much for the mangled pack that has 1 sheet of labels.
Her response, "1 sheet? Sweetie, take it"
-I was like, "Score."
--
Yesterday, after a very wet and sweet walk to main campus,
I had picked up a Mc. Donald's sweet tea, which I had been craving for like a week. Yeah, I get to where I'm going, leave, have had like 2 sips. when I decide to hop on Metro train.
-My luck, the Transit police lady makes me throw my still full sweet tea in the trash. Womp-womp.
--
Not two hours later, after I finish picking up (ha-ha) dividers and the medicine that pulled me away from studies, the bus I catch to take me directly home has its charging machine busted. So, free $1.30 ride home.
Little things make me so happy.
Amazing what the cards can reveal ;)
I broke the deck out today. Asked an impartial girl friend to do the layout for me so I didn't skew the reading....The question I asked the Universe? Well....funny thing, a song I kept as my secret anthem for a while just really summarized the whole experience. Now. I can't get the song or its meaning out of my head.
So, here's an old song. Enjoy.
BTW, Go ahead and hit the link to get the full effect:
http://www.garageband.com/mp3player?|pe1|S8LTM0LdsaSnZle-Zg
Seth Horan, BMI © 1998
Tried not to get too sentimental;
not to be too instrumental in her life.
My attention rarely wanders and I’m
not too keen on squandering my time.
I can’t see the point in distance so I’m
throwing up resistance but I’m losing the fight…
Now it would seem I’ve got a problem, ‘cause
I’ve always got her picture on my mind…
Crazy maybe, but it’s almost like she knows it’s her…
I’m petrified that she could leave my life, so
I don’t say a word.
I call myself a skeptic even though my mind’s not narrow,
but I’ll put on my poker-face every time I see her dealing Tarot.
Fight; fighting impossible attraction…
I just won’t face any facts and keep her picture out of sight.
Hate; hate how helplessly I’m falling;
I’m deliberately not calling but
it doesn’t make it right.
Fine. I finally made some time to see her;
maybe now I’ll have to free myself or leave this all behind.
Fright. Frightened when we’re all alone and she pulls out
that deck and I’ve no place to hide…
Crazy maybe, but it’s almost like she knows it’s her…
I’m petrified that she could leave my life, so
I don’t say a word.
I call myself a skeptic even though my mind’s not narrow,
but I’ll put on my poker-face every time I see her dealing Tarot....
Pictures forming patterns;
I’ve got to finish what I start.
Her face is changing every time she turns another card…
Pictures forming patterns;
Now here’s where this gets hard:
Her face is changing now ‘cause she can see inside my heart…
Crazy maybe, but it’s almost like she knows it’s her…
Petrified that she can read my mind, so
I don’t say a word.
I call myself a skeptic even though my mind’s not narrow,
but I put on my poker-face every time I see her dealing
Tarot.
Finals: Reasons I love my Mom
I am utterly in Finals mode. The printing madness and infamous "master outline book" is in the process of creation. Until you see it, you would never believe I am (1) that organized or (2) that insecure.
--So, as I am up at ungodly hours printing, I decide its time to buy more TABS and caffeine....
My mother calls while I am at the supermarket at 9:30am. The pertinent conversation:
Mom: You're getting more food?!?
Me: Noooo...., last week I got diet food.
: Ohhhhh Honey!!!! You're in Finals! You need real food--and COKE?
: Already, got it. With all the glorious empty calories.
: And Chocolate?!?!?
: *lol* -My mentees already bought me two bags worth.
: Good. You have meds?
: Yes, I bought Tylenol Sinus, and Claritin.
...
Mom: I look awesome.
Me: Shut up, I am at the grocery store, buying crap food, in pink sweat pants, hair not done, no make-up.
: Honey! You are in finals. You pay how much to look like that?
: 38 grand a year....you're right, I look amazing.
________________________
On separate tangent: X-men Origins
Is it crazy that I'm using the idea of seeing an X-men movie as my reward to get through Finals?
--So, as I am up at ungodly hours printing, I decide its time to buy more TABS and caffeine....
My mother calls while I am at the supermarket at 9:30am. The pertinent conversation:
Mom: You're getting more food?!?
Me: Noooo...., last week I got diet food.
: Ohhhhh Honey!!!! You're in Finals! You need real food--and COKE?
: Already, got it. With all the glorious empty calories.
: And Chocolate?!?!?
: *lol* -My mentees already bought me two bags worth.
: Good. You have meds?
: Yes, I bought Tylenol Sinus, and Claritin.
...
Mom
Me: Shut up, I am at the grocery store, buying crap food, in pink sweat pants, hair not done, no make-up.
: Honey! You are in finals. You pay how much to look like that?
: 38 grand a year....you're right, I look amazing.
________________________
On separate tangent: X-men Origins
Is it crazy that I'm using the idea of seeing an X-men movie as my reward to get through Finals?
Things that are not good during final season....
Things that are not good during final season....
1) Allergy headaches.
I am going to bed as soon as this is typed; because I hate the guys who mowed the lawn and brought pollen (or gifts from the devil) into the air.
2)Facebook.
Really. I'm grown. I should just cut it off. But now that damn honesty boxkeeps taunting me.
3) Boys.
Um. Yes, well my ring is not here, soooo I am still single. :p
Really, Jazz freaked, on the last entry and now she has decided I'm her Wifey....Yes Her. Jazz is just a good girlie friend if people are concerned. Given she brings food over, and I cook, we have a nice tax-consequence free arrangement....
Speaking of Females and my housing/Wifey arrangements, my Amjur Queen is staying over yet again tonight. After she comes (back to my) home that is. She now has a drawer (filled with clothes) and a Key to my apartment. This is in addition to her sleeping bag, her toothbrush, contact solution, and entire set of shower gear I have purchased for her.
YEs, either I am starting to attract females or I run a brothel. Hmmmm-L-Hotel. The good thing is, well other than Queenies outlines? That she is an AWESOME friend. Imean Queenie actually doesn't abuse the privalledge. She ask everytime to stay, begs every time for me to join, and is courteous as hell when she's here. I guess thats why its okay.
School UPdate:
YEs, well. Given that I should NOT be paying attention to Boys. And by BOYS, I mean. One Boy. oe Man. or "Dude," as Amjur Queen puts it now that she has seen us walking together...yEah.....Given the NON-attention, I should NOT be listening to Alicia Keys while in the library trying to make edits to my seminar paper.
BUT. Despite all that---Seminar paper is DONE!
MY SEMINAR IS OVER! CLASSES ARE DONE! MY LEGAL WRITING AND ORAL ARGUMENTS ARE COMPLETED. AND YES I scored my B+
SO THERE. 2 DOWN. 4 TO Go.
eh. reality check...
Four? yes. Four. Four damn exams.
....And a trip to NY in between? Aye Vay.... Yes. Kill me now.
Kisses Universe. Night time.
But Copyrights class, Previous said embarrasing poem. Didn't get posted, so HAHA, no one will ever know.
Speaking of Copyrights....Interesting stuff showed up on that wall. My comments: I never knew that the McChicken was versed in Shakespere. ;)
1) Allergy headaches.
I am going to bed as soon as this is typed; because I hate the guys who mowed the lawn and brought pollen (or gifts from the devil) into the air.
2)Facebook.
Really. I'm grown. I should just cut it off. But now that damn honesty boxkeeps taunting me.
3) Boys.
Um. Yes, well my ring is not here, soooo I am still single. :p
Really, Jazz freaked, on the last entry and now she has decided I'm her Wifey....Yes Her. Jazz is just a good girlie friend if people are concerned. Given she brings food over, and I cook, we have a nice tax-consequence free arrangement....
Speaking of Females and my housing/Wifey arrangements, my Amjur Queen is staying over yet again tonight. After she comes (back to my) home that is. She now has a drawer (filled with clothes) and a Key to my apartment. This is in addition to her sleeping bag, her toothbrush, contact solution, and entire set of shower gear I have purchased for her.
YEs, either I am starting to attract females or I run a brothel. Hmmmm-L-Hotel. The good thing is, well other than Queenies outlines? That she is an AWESOME friend. Imean Queenie actually doesn't abuse the privalledge. She ask everytime to stay, begs every time for me to join, and is courteous as hell when she's here. I guess thats why its okay.
School UPdate:
YEs, well. Given that I should NOT be paying attention to Boys. And by BOYS, I mean. One Boy. oe Man. or "Dude," as Amjur Queen puts it now that she has seen us walking together...yEah.....Given the NON-attention, I should NOT be listening to Alicia Keys while in the library trying to make edits to my seminar paper.
BUT. Despite all that---Seminar paper is DONE!
MY SEMINAR IS OVER! CLASSES ARE DONE! MY LEGAL WRITING AND ORAL ARGUMENTS ARE COMPLETED. AND YES I scored my B+
SO THERE. 2 DOWN. 4 TO Go.
eh. reality check...
Four? yes. Four. Four damn exams.
....And a trip to NY in between? Aye Vay.... Yes. Kill me now.
Kisses Universe. Night time.
But Copyrights class, Previous said embarrasing poem. Didn't get posted, so HAHA, no one will ever know.
Speaking of Copyrights....Interesting stuff showed up on that wall. My comments: I never knew that the McChicken was versed in Shakespere. ;)
I'm Engaged! --Well, Hypothetically Speaking???
Okay okay, so technically I'm not. My mother needs no more disappointment in her life. (One day mom, one day***laughing sigh)
I don't have a ring....and technically, I don't really have a guy, as said fiance's a thousand miles away-and well, we both know it's a joke. BUT, being proposed to does have its perks.
Perk 1:
Giving my friends who were there a reason to be total jerks, and Say, "Do it, do it." -(Yes, I have witnesses, there was a proposal, via text mind you, but let me have my moment)--Losers. Love you; you sell me so cheap.
Perk 2:
Giving Jazz a reason to freak out.
Perk 3:
Looking at rings under $25 on Ebay, because I don't want to study tax anymore and then sending them to my betrothed to be admonished that he would never buy me something fake. Lol. Blue diamonds aren't fake. LOL. (I'm in love with Blue and Purple Lately!)
Perk 4:
Giving that guy on G-chat a small heart-attack. "I don't think it would be a good idea for you to come over tonight. After all, you have your girl, and I'm engaged now."
--No I really didn't, but in my head it plays out so well!!!
Lol. JM summed it up. "We all want a side car"
***
As to the so called real world:
Well there is school:
1. I made a fool out of myself in Copyrights class last week. Let's just say an assignment was to create a poem....Um, yeah. I better get my ten points. If it is posted at school, I'll post it here, but I think when the professor laughs when he reads it to himself, there's a serious problem.
2. My oral argument wasn't great, but it wasn't horrid? Solid B+?
Family is well. It's Easter. Or as I wrote my Family and close friends: Happy Pagan Fertility Rite. ;) -They're good.
Speaking of! Oooh. I may meet a Father-figure soon. Guy who SWEARS he's my Dad. I kid you not. He Swears I'm his kid. Like Really really. It's not that complex, my mom's ex boyfriend; but relax, it's not all Maury or Jerry Springer either. Trust me. I think this guy just really needs to see me so he "knows." Poor guy. Anyways I'm meeting him before finals. He lives in VA, and is coming up to referee some softball game. I figured, might as well. The guys asked about me for years, and well has talked to me via text, so I figure why not. Again, I feel bad. I mean, clearly, I know my Daddy, couldn't deny it if he tried. Apache blood has its tells.
Okay. That's it. I'm really just online because an auction is ending soon, lol.
I guess back to the books. "AND ON THE THIRD DAY...." She read more Tax.
I don't have a ring....and technically, I don't really have a guy, as said fiance's a thousand miles away-and well, we both know it's a joke. BUT, being proposed to does have its perks.
Perk 1:
Giving my friends who were there a reason to be total jerks, and Say, "Do it, do it." -(Yes, I have witnesses, there was a proposal, via text mind you, but let me have my moment)--Losers. Love you; you sell me so cheap.
Perk 2:
Giving Jazz a reason to freak out.
Perk 3:
Looking at rings under $25 on Ebay, because I don't want to study tax anymore and then sending them to my betrothed to be admonished that he would never buy me something fake. Lol. Blue diamonds aren't fake. LOL. (I'm in love with Blue and Purple Lately!)
Perk 4:
Giving that guy on G-chat a small heart-attack. "I don't think it would be a good idea for you to come over tonight. After all, you have your girl, and I'm engaged now."
--No I really didn't, but in my head it plays out so well!!!
Lol. JM summed it up. "We all want a side car"
***
As to the so called real world:
Well there is school:
1. I made a fool out of myself in Copyrights class last week. Let's just say an assignment was to create a poem....Um, yeah. I better get my ten points. If it is posted at school, I'll post it here, but I think when the professor laughs when he reads it to himself, there's a serious problem.
2. My oral argument wasn't great, but it wasn't horrid? Solid B+?
Family is well. It's Easter. Or as I wrote my Family and close friends: Happy Pagan Fertility Rite. ;) -They're good.
Speaking of! Oooh. I may meet a Father-figure soon. Guy who SWEARS he's my Dad. I kid you not. He Swears I'm his kid. Like Really really. It's not that complex, my mom's ex boyfriend; but relax, it's not all Maury or Jerry Springer either. Trust me. I think this guy just really needs to see me so he "knows." Poor guy. Anyways I'm meeting him before finals. He lives in VA, and is coming up to referee some softball game. I figured, might as well. The guys asked about me for years, and well has talked to me via text, so I figure why not. Again, I feel bad. I mean, clearly, I know my Daddy, couldn't deny it if he tried. Apache blood has its tells.
Okay. That's it. I'm really just online because an auction is ending soon, lol.
I guess back to the books. "AND ON THE THIRD DAY...." She read more Tax.
Ebay + Visa = iPhone?
This is why I should never be left home alone.
I just bid on an iPhone.
I went on Ebay for the SOLE purpose of getting a new battery for my current phone -the Dash--which, now that I'm using the schedule function, I'm kinda in love with.
The 5 minutes of inevitable-ness went like this:
Battery. You won! Yay. Hmmm. What's the harm in looking at the sellers other items? Oh look iPhone case. Hmmm. I wonder how much iPhones are going for. Let's check.
Next thing you know, the screen is popping up: "Confirm bid?" Of course. " Congratulations. You're the high bidder!"
Um...I am rationalizing this by saying, I never get phone calls at my house, and I think it's because my current phone doesn't pick up signal. PLUS, T-mobile told me, if I switch to the Blackberry, it's likely I'll get a bar or more....PLUS, I bid remarkably low. Under a hundred remarkably low! Soooo, its okay, right? Some body tell me it's okay?
In other news, like the spring colors, visits from my past are in bloom, and I couldn't be happier.
Speaking of, it's 7:09pm! I'm supposed to be gone! Grrrr. This is why I need a car. Law students are so dependable on being undependable.
I just bid on an iPhone.
I went on Ebay for the SOLE purpose of getting a new battery for my current phone -the Dash--which, now that I'm using the schedule function, I'm kinda in love with.
The 5 minutes of inevitable-ness went like this:
Battery. You won! Yay. Hmmm. What's the harm in looking at the sellers other items? Oh look iPhone case. Hmmm. I wonder how much iPhones are going for. Let's check.
Next thing you know, the screen is popping up: "Confirm bid?" Of course. " Congratulations. You're the high bidder!"
Um...I am rationalizing this by saying, I never get phone calls at my house, and I think it's because my current phone doesn't pick up signal. PLUS, T-mobile told me, if I switch to the Blackberry, it's likely I'll get a bar or more....PLUS, I bid remarkably low. Under a hundred remarkably low! Soooo, its okay, right? Some body tell me it's okay?
In other news, like the spring colors, visits from my past are in bloom, and I couldn't be happier.
Speaking of, it's 7:09pm! I'm supposed to be gone! Grrrr. This is why I need a car. Law students are so dependable on being undependable.
Starting Now...
I apologize in advance. This got long.
So...I decided my weekend was bound to start soon when somewhere around 3 o'clock I placed an honesty box on my FB page, when I should have been paying attention to tax.
I was re-assured when I discovered my 4pm class was once again held at noon, after sifting through emails at 4:05 in an empty classroom.
Shortly thereafter, lets say 4:07 I decided that I would once again be Professionally Irresponsible and miss my 6pm Professional Responsibility class . As I have no Friday classes, this leads me to believe My weekend has begun.
In that vein, I have purchased a bottle of wine in which 1 friend has already vowed to come over and "assist" me with, as well as pursuade me to join her later at 3L Thursday escapes. I assured her - I am not a 3L.
But...I can be pursuaded. Which leads to this ever growing note.
I am learning, many people can be persuaded. Sometimes. Thus, try to stay with me.
Thursday- Tonight- I will drink my wine and eat my wonderously bad-for-me-but-taste-so-yummy-chinese take-out.
So...I decided my weekend was bound to start soon when somewhere around 3 o'clock I placed an honesty box on my FB page, when I should have been paying attention to tax.
I was re-assured when I discovered my 4pm class was once again held at noon, after sifting through emails at 4:05 in an empty classroom.
Shortly thereafter, lets say 4:07 I decided that I would once again be Professionally Irresponsible and miss my 6pm Professional Responsibility class . As I have no Friday classes, this leads me to believe My weekend has begun.
In that vein, I have purchased a bottle of wine in which 1 friend has already vowed to come over and "assist" me with, as well as pursuade me to join her later at 3L Thursday escapes. I assured her - I am not a 3L.
But...I can be pursuaded. Which leads to this ever growing note.
I am learning, many people can be persuaded. Sometimes. Thus, try to stay with me.
Thursday- Tonight- I will drink my wine and eat my wonderously bad-for-me-but-taste-so-yummy-chinese take-out.
Friday-8 ish, I could. head out to GMU for a probate. (brother org)
Saturday- noonish. There is a flag football game against other law schools.
Sunday. - I have no plans, but 1) its Easter and 2) its many peoples "free day"
Now, I assume -as always people are busy. I further assume that free time will go to studying and or sleeping. ;)
But ... I can be persuaded. As often as I state: "Its April" -meaning no time....I can find time.
Thus if I can possibly persuade others, "some time" this weekend I would like to not be home.
Realizing, its a big commitment to shake law students from their schedules and agenda's, I put this out there: I don't want days, or multiple hours, just maybe a study break?
This morning I had one such "less than an hour" break from the madness.
Result: not bad. repeatable even.
so startng now...my weekend begins....
Saturday- noonish. There is a flag football game against other law schools.
Sunday. - I have no plans, but 1) its Easter and 2) its many peoples "free day"
Now, I assume -as always people are busy. I further assume that free time will go to studying and or sleeping. ;)
But ... I can be persuaded. As often as I state: "Its April" -meaning no time....I can find time.
Thus if I can possibly persuade others, "some time" this weekend I would like to not be home.
Realizing, its a big commitment to shake law students from their schedules and agenda's, I put this out there: I don't want days, or multiple hours, just maybe a study break?
This morning I had one such "less than an hour" break from the madness.
Result: not bad. repeatable even.
so startng now...my weekend begins....
"Personal Disclaimer" -A Repost for the New Readers
Recently I have learned many people are concerned with my entries so as a disclaimer, please read the following:
The entries in this journal do not reflect the attitudes or opinions of any other person or entity other than the individuals posting to it. While all journal entries, stories, bad jokes, etc. are based on the life experiences of its author, they are intended for the sole use of venting and figuring out the eccentric life of it’s owner.
All charectors and semblances within my life, are based on real life people, and for protection from stalkers, judgemental people, and plain out jerks, most names have been altered or abreiviated.
If you know the people portrayed in this journal, good job for being so close to me; I obviously talk to you. For some reason some people portrayed in this journal don’t "appreciate" my including them, so leave them alone. Again if you know me, this one shouldn’t be a hard to figure out.
Again, all stalkers, get lost. This journal is for mature audiences only. If you can’t take a joke, don’t read it.
If you find yourself reflected in this journal, in a poor light in this journal, you have a multitude of options,
1. Change your behavior.
(I myself am a scandal-ass, bitch, angel, comedian, etc—and refer to myself as such. I wear these titles proudly when I’ve earned them and have no problem being regarded as such, when my behaviour has warranted my label.)
Therefore, don’t give me a reason to portray you as a jerk, and you won’t be. Ultimately, I am a very happy person, and I never ever willingly try to portray people in a bad light.
2. Call me on it.
Tell me you don’t want something in here, and I’ll do my best. Again, this journal is for venting purposes. I’m not trying to start rumors. What I am trying to do is: unburden my little head of grey fluff from the facts that complicate my life.
3. Don’t read it.
(Many thanks to the people that do read this. You are the most open minded people I know. I consider all of ya’lls advice, side bars, and quotes when I write and I find you a joy to my little universe. You are appreciated.)
Comments are always welcome. Including but not limited to: Calling me out, telling me how stupid I am, 3 a.m. morning ramblings, drunken tangents, mathematical tangents, and of course promiscuous pick up line. (Okay that last one I’m still waiting for. No really, I’m waiting! Lol.)
Finally, to all readers: This journal is a few entries of one huge story line. I never knew when it began and don’t know when it will end. I'm just trying to have fun on the ride.
There are many sides to all these ramblings. Be a mature human being and don’t take my writings as an absolute truth. If you are, or have been, check your self into the nearest clinic for the insane, because--you too--have far too much time on your hands.
My writings, again, are my Perceptions. They change from day to day. Like every decent person, each day I try to grow and understand a little bit more of my world. This blog is just my own little sounding board, to hear myself think.
Don’t base opinions or make value judgments on the people you see reflected in these letters. Especially not based on my little "Blah—I can’t stand X" statements! They are real people with real feelings and if you have any spine or even want to be considered my friend, grow up and make judgments for yourself on these people.
Thank you. Enjoy.
-----
Wow...written 2 years ago, and it still remains true.
Minus the stalker part. There is one stalker who is to not get lost....he knows who he is.
The entries in this journal do not reflect the attitudes or opinions of any other person or entity other than the individuals posting to it. While all journal entries, stories, bad jokes, etc. are based on the life experiences of its author, they are intended for the sole use of venting and figuring out the eccentric life of it’s owner.
All charectors and semblances within my life, are based on real life people, and for protection from stalkers, judgemental people, and plain out jerks, most names have been altered or abreiviated.
If you know the people portrayed in this journal, good job for being so close to me; I obviously talk to you. For some reason some people portrayed in this journal don’t "appreciate" my including them, so leave them alone. Again if you know me, this one shouldn’t be a hard to figure out.
Again, all stalkers, get lost. This journal is for mature audiences only. If you can’t take a joke, don’t read it.
If you find yourself reflected in this journal, in a poor light in this journal, you have a multitude of options,
1. Change your behavior.
(I myself am a scandal-ass, bitch, angel, comedian, etc—and refer to myself as such. I wear these titles proudly when I’ve earned them and have no problem being regarded as such, when my behaviour has warranted my label.)
Therefore, don’t give me a reason to portray you as a jerk, and you won’t be. Ultimately, I am a very happy person, and I never ever willingly try to portray people in a bad light.
2. Call me on it.
Tell me you don’t want something in here, and I’ll do my best. Again, this journal is for venting purposes. I’m not trying to start rumors. What I am trying to do is: unburden my little head of grey fluff from the facts that complicate my life.
3. Don’t read it.
(Many thanks to the people that do read this. You are the most open minded people I know. I consider all of ya’lls advice, side bars, and quotes when I write and I find you a joy to my little universe. You are appreciated.)
Comments are always welcome. Including but not limited to: Calling me out, telling me how stupid I am, 3 a.m. morning ramblings, drunken tangents, mathematical tangents, and of course promiscuous pick up line. (Okay that last one I’m still waiting for. No really, I’m waiting! Lol.)
Finally, to all readers: This journal is a few entries of one huge story line. I never knew when it began and don’t know when it will end. I'm just trying to have fun on the ride.
There are many sides to all these ramblings. Be a mature human being and don’t take my writings as an absolute truth. If you are, or have been, check your self into the nearest clinic for the insane, because--you too--have far too much time on your hands.
My writings, again, are my Perceptions. They change from day to day. Like every decent person, each day I try to grow and understand a little bit more of my world. This blog is just my own little sounding board, to hear myself think.
Don’t base opinions or make value judgments on the people you see reflected in these letters. Especially not based on my little "Blah—I can’t stand X" statements! They are real people with real feelings and if you have any spine or even want to be considered my friend, grow up and make judgments for yourself on these people.
Thank you. Enjoy.
-----
Wow...written 2 years ago, and it still remains true.
Minus the stalker part. There is one stalker who is to not get lost....he knows who he is.
Silly Friends, Blue Flowers, and the Zen Professor
So...a lot, in a very little time as I need to get in a cab to get on a Plane to CHI-Town... in oh 4 hours....So....try to stick with me, I'm speed typing: I.e. writing what I think...
Chicago: -The Windy City, home of some decent pizza, and place I'm resenting packing for at the current moment...(Why?...you'll see...)
3 questions:
1) Do only 'Greeks' get pissed that Chi is pronounced "Shy?"--bugs...
2) Why am I paying for this trip?
3) Why am I bugged I'm going on a trip 3 weeks before finals?
--Oh wait, it's because I'm PAYING FOR THIS TRIP 3 WEEKS BEFORE FINALS!
I need to study, which I WON'T DO. I need to save MONEY, which I don't have. AND, I really, really, REALLY love traveling, but this is gonna be one of "those" trips where the plan is fun, but the result is me coming back on Monday at 1am and then trying to go to Agency jet lag (and lets face it, probably hung-over).
So that's that. And an hour ago I was bitter because my girlie friends came over to wish me well, and by that I mean drink my liquor, eat my food I had delivered, and then leave to the bar I can't go to, because, that's right I'm packing....
Now the food and drink thing, I don't mind: At ALL. My house is the guest house. The hotel, the 'here are the keys to my place, come home trashed, have a boy over....just DONT Have sex on my bed' (That's just courtesy, right???) place kinda place...
&&&&&&&
I love my friends, they could take or break anything, and I'd be cool. What was sad, and got me bitter was seeing them leave. Not because they invited me out, and I can't go, but because I had to be all grown up. I had to be responsible and say: "Wish I could, but I can't"
Growing up? Hmmmm. *crosses arms, sticks out tounge, and makes a noise like a toddler: "I doh-n wanna!"
Anyways, aside from the madness of packing, which I finally completed, I bought my self blue flowers today. Why? because of the Zen Professor, who after an amazingly 2.5 hour long conversation (WHY>!>!>!>) made me actually feel good about some insecurities.
His messages simple:
1. "Don't fight it"
2. "Listen to yourself"
3. "Get Centered" and
4. "Don't let anyone do for you, what you can do for yourself."
I left, amazingly, for once, not confused but actually with it "together." It was weird; and, if you knew this guy, and my feelings about him(i.e. I've told him to his face he's nuts), you'd think this quest impossible. But there it is, the Martian reminded me that I didn't just land on Earth, and I've known how to handle myself for quite some time....
Sorry the base breakdown: Professor said in the simplest terms: "take care of You, first."
So, I bought myself blue flowers.
Why? Because they made me happy.
Two, because when I saw them, my first thought was, "Awww, I wish someone would buy me flowers."
and then it hit...Why do I need to wait for someone to buy me flowers?
I can buy my own damn self flowers.
and I did. And they sit on the center of my table, blue and bright.
Ne-who. Last Comments then its to bed.
1) I like numbering things lately. Like really. LOL!
2) I thought this blog was all secret and hiddeny- (yes, "hiddeny") and guess, what, ITS not! all I had to do was punch in an old screen name into Google, then "poof!" (Google, what would cyber stalkers do without you?)
which,
3) I am SOOOO glad no one knows me by my old screen name!
Except
4) If my 3L (who, lets just admit now if you haven't figured it out, I have a 12 yr old crush on) is reading this, HAHAHA, stalker.
but
5) I'm gonna invite him to, cause, well, I like him, and this is the "it" place of my thoughts.
The no holds bar, sorry if you get hurt, read the disclaimer, 'cause its only truth, because I need to vent and get honest with me, where I run the risk of hurting myself dramatically, because this is the raw nerve of emotion I choose to expose kinda space I invented.
Ooh, speaking of new readers. Hi 'Dirk.' I've missed you. Thanks for coming back into my life. Open a book.
yeah....and with that. Wha-la, I am tapped. To bed with the Storm.
"Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; but remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for" Epicurus (341 BC-270 BC).
Chicago: -The Windy City, home of some decent pizza, and place I'm resenting packing for at the current moment...(Why?...you'll see...)
3 questions:
1) Do only 'Greeks' get pissed that Chi is pronounced "Shy?"--bugs...
2) Why am I paying for this trip?
3) Why am I bugged I'm going on a trip 3 weeks before finals?
--Oh wait, it's because I'm PAYING FOR THIS TRIP 3 WEEKS BEFORE FINALS!
I need to study, which I WON'T DO. I need to save MONEY, which I don't have. AND, I really, really, REALLY love traveling, but this is gonna be one of "those" trips where the plan is fun, but the result is me coming back on Monday at 1am and then trying to go to Agency jet lag (and lets face it, probably hung-over).
So that's that. And an hour ago I was bitter because my girlie friends came over to wish me well, and by that I mean drink my liquor, eat my food I had delivered, and then leave to the bar I can't go to, because, that's right I'm packing....
Now the food and drink thing, I don't mind: At ALL. My house is the guest house. The hotel, the 'here are the keys to my place, come home trashed, have a boy over....just DONT Have sex on my bed' (That's just courtesy, right???) place kinda place...
&&&&&&&
I love my friends, they could take or break anything, and I'd be cool. What was sad, and got me bitter was seeing them leave. Not because they invited me out, and I can't go, but because I had to be all grown up. I had to be responsible and say: "Wish I could, but I can't"
Growing up? Hmmmm. *crosses arms, sticks out tounge, and makes a noise like a toddler: "I doh-n wanna!"
Anyways, aside from the madness of packing, which I finally completed, I bought my self blue flowers today. Why? because of the Zen Professor, who after an amazingly 2.5 hour long conversation (WHY>!>!>!>) made me actually feel good about some insecurities.
His messages simple:
1. "Don't fight it"
2. "Listen to yourself"
3. "Get Centered" and
4. "Don't let anyone do for you, what you can do for yourself."
I left, amazingly, for once, not confused but actually with it "together." It was weird; and, if you knew this guy, and my feelings about him(i.e. I've told him to his face he's nuts), you'd think this quest impossible. But there it is, the Martian reminded me that I didn't just land on Earth, and I've known how to handle myself for quite some time....
Sorry the base breakdown: Professor said in the simplest terms: "take care of You, first."
So, I bought myself blue flowers.
Why? Because they made me happy.
Two, because when I saw them, my first thought was, "Awww, I wish someone would buy me flowers."
and then it hit...Why do I need to wait for someone to buy me flowers?
I can buy my own damn self flowers.
and I did. And they sit on the center of my table, blue and bright.
Ne-who. Last Comments then its to bed.
1) I like numbering things lately. Like really. LOL!
2) I thought this blog was all secret and hiddeny- (yes, "hiddeny") and guess, what, ITS not! all I had to do was punch in an old screen name into Google, then "poof!" (Google, what would cyber stalkers do without you?)
which,
3) I am SOOOO glad no one knows me by my old screen name!
Except
4) If my 3L (who, lets just admit now if you haven't figured it out, I have a 12 yr old crush on) is reading this, HAHAHA, stalker.
but
5) I'm gonna invite him to, cause, well, I like him, and this is the "it" place of my thoughts.
The no holds bar, sorry if you get hurt, read the disclaimer
Ooh, speaking of new readers. Hi 'Dirk.' I've missed you. Thanks for coming back into my life. Open a book.
yeah....and with that. Wha-la, I am tapped. To bed with the Storm.
"Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; but remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for" Epicurus (341 BC-270 BC).
A moment of perfect...
After a slightly embarrassing morning, which I would do a thousand times over (--um, that story maybe later), I had a hard time (as my friend E would say) "getting back to center."
Meaning, I couldn't focus, and replayed the scenario in my head a thousand times, with the thought: "You couldn't let a good thing 'just be', could you?"
Anyways, back to recovery...so after said morning moment, I was a little jolted, and I conversed with two great friends- kAT and KITTEN. The consensus was "just let things happen."
Side Track: The Way of the Tao, always comes back to haunt me it seems.... "let it be" they say.
Why is the tao so valuable?
Because it is everywhere,
and everyone can use it.
(Lao Tzu)
Letting it be, tomorrow perhaps will turn my awkward 12 year old moment into not a moment at all, but instead as a quirk of vulnerability that is undoubtedly present. :) Maybe.
Sentences without context, make for bad storytelling I know, but alas, you'll have to deal....
The moment I do want to discuss is the moment I had 30 minutes ago. The moment I had after I had resolved to be some nonpracticing version of a Taoist, and was practicing being an uncommitted student. The moment I decided to go to a school organizations showing of Slumdog Millionaire. Which was amazing.
I had Indian food for $3. I started reading for Copyright, I loved the movie, and I got a study partner for finals...
All was swimming, and I was walking out of my school, with a 1L, not remembering this morning, but entrenched with learning about "him" and "his schedule" and I must have obviously been in deep, because as I stood outside, I told him,
"Shhhh...."
and he did. "Wait. Stop. Just look...."
"It's pretty" he said.
"No," I responded "look,"
"At the Cherry Blossoms?"
"At everything...Look.... I'm having a moment..."
and I was. He let me, too.
I took it in, and for a few seconds, everything was perfect.
The mist was just barely in the air, the fog was catching the moonlight, the moonlight was lighting up this gorgeous law school that I take for granted that I go to....
and there it was,
The 1L left me with smiles and goodbyes, but the feeling stayed as I walked home.
I walked to my beautiful apartment, down a beautifully lit street, and I felt like everything was perfect.
I glanced over to the exact spot that my morning had been confused by, and instead of reliving a moment, I just smiled and had one instead.
I felt then and I feel now, as I always have in "these moments;" that I am so lucky.
-I could have just sat in the middle of my parking lot, pulled my umbrella to the side, and let the misty rain fall on me.
Rain? Rain, what people pray for. Rain, what people curse. Making the cherry blossoms grow, making the commute impossible, rain?
No, tonight it wasn't that complicated. It was just mist. A beautiful moonlight mist. Tonight was just a moment of perfect.
Meaning, I couldn't focus, and replayed the scenario in my head a thousand times, with the thought: "You couldn't let a good thing 'just be', could you?"
Anyways, back to recovery...so after said morning moment, I was a little jolted, and I conversed with two great friends- kAT and KITTEN. The consensus was "just let things happen."
Side Track: The Way of the Tao, always comes back to haunt me it seems.... "let it be" they say.
Why is the tao so valuable?
Because it is everywhere,
and everyone can use it.
(Lao Tzu)
Letting it be, tomorrow perhaps will turn my awkward 12 year old moment into not a moment at all, but instead as a quirk of vulnerability that is undoubtedly present. :) Maybe.
Sentences without context, make for bad storytelling I know, but alas, you'll have to deal....
The moment I do want to discuss is the moment I had 30 minutes ago. The moment I had after I had resolved to be some nonpracticing version of a Taoist, and was practicing being an uncommitted student. The moment I decided to go to a school organizations showing of Slumdog Millionaire. Which was amazing.
I had Indian food for $3. I started reading for Copyright, I loved the movie, and I got a study partner for finals...
All was swimming, and I was walking out of my school, with a 1L, not remembering this morning, but entrenched with learning about "him" and "his schedule" and I must have obviously been in deep, because as I stood outside, I told him,
"Shhhh...."
and he did. "Wait. Stop. Just look...."
"It's pretty" he said.
"No," I responded "look,"
"At the Cherry Blossoms?"
"At everything...Look.... I'm having a moment..."
and I was. He let me, too.
I took it in, and for a few seconds, everything was perfect.
The mist was just barely in the air, the fog was catching the moonlight, the moonlight was lighting up this gorgeous law school that I take for granted that I go to....
and there it was,
Perfection.
The 1L left me with smiles and goodbyes, but the feeling stayed as I walked home.
I walked to my beautiful apartment, down a beautifully lit street, and I felt like everything was perfect.
I glanced over to the exact spot that my morning had been confused by, and instead of reliving a moment, I just smiled and had one instead.
I felt then and I feel now, as I always have in "these moments;" that I am so lucky.
-I could have just sat in the middle of my parking lot, pulled my umbrella to the side, and let the misty rain fall on me.
Rain? Rain, what people pray for. Rain, what people curse. Making the cherry blossoms grow, making the commute impossible, rain?
No, tonight it wasn't that complicated. It was just mist. A beautiful moonlight mist. Tonight was just a moment of perfect.