You may appear moodier than usual now that the Moon is in Leo, but
don't let occasional waves of negativity prevent you from seeing the
potential in your life. On one hand, you might decide that your extra
effort is not worth the meager return -- emotionally or fiscally. On
the other hand, you might not be able to see what's on the other side
of the wall that's temporarily preventing your forward motion. Patience
and tenacity should pay off in a few days.
hahaha! Says the all knowing horoscope teller.
On the plus side....only 10 more days till this finals madness is over!!!! Road trip and must needed diversion to come. Anyone know of a bus line that travels around texas????
Long time no blog
Daily Horoscope: Leo
Although you are often able to be fully aware of the present moment, increased dream activity can stir up memories of your past. This emphasis on your inner life can wreak havoc on your outer world, causing you to read signals incorrectly or to judge a current situation based upon an old hurt or a previous success. If you slip into a fantasy, gently bring yourself back to here and now.Thursday, November 15, 2007
Dear Universe,
Long time no blog, huh?
We'll chalk it up to many things. Loss of phone equated to a loss of Mobile AIM, which is what allowed me to blog from my phone randomly at the rare moments I have been known to have an insight into life.
The Upside: I have a new Blackberry.
Lets discuss this. The Blackberry. Mobile Technology and E-mail rolled into one. Like a mini laptop, the thing simultaneously chains and free's me from my lawschool life.
The ups and downs. Major down. No radio. Not yet. If someone has an application for blackberry music, do please send. But, I doubt it.
That is my loss. I have lost my cool cool very cool capability of having an mp3 player in my phone. Boo.
Upside. I bought a damn MP3 player. Exciting? Mmmmm, no. here is why: On my MP3 Player I have the following Tracks: Torts1: Track 1, Torts 1: Track 2: ...
<Follow the pattern?>
Yes, I have now begun to not only study visually and through textile application
I now utilize my audio sensory mechanics to further absorb that which I feel can only be taught through immaculate conception.
God herself, himself, <it as my Civ Pro Procedure might correct... or may be for that matter...no wait, wrong Deity....is the Devil considered a Deity? She most certainly does not wear Prada.....>....
Long tangent....where was I? Awe yes. I now listen to my courses.
Pathetic. I know. I love it.
Other things I love.....hmmmm. Civil Procedure. Memo's. Torts. Re-writes. Lower grades then I've ever received in my life. Re-writes. A bombardment of criticisms. RE-writes of the re-writes. Job interviews. Re-writes of Memo's for Job Interviews? More Criticism....
Oh, how I could go on. And the list would only end at the point of the knife which has been thrust in my side that is the totality of what is Law School.
I hate, yes HATE Law School.
Don't get me wrong. I'm actually doing better than most.
After realizing that Law school is the biggest head trip (mind-fuck, torturous hazing experience, insert your preference here) ....
I have since stopped crying and having mental break downs like my colleagues, sleep more, eat less, and prepare each day the best I can, and accept thats all I can do.
Awww the Tao of Pooh, Why be an Eyore in the world of Eyores.
Me, I have decided to LOVE my law school experience....I am going to go places I've never gone, and spend money I don't have. and in the end, if I'm not on law review, at least I can say I had a hell of a time.
Well, I could go on, but alas I have a career panel to attend. Speaking of, this blog may disappear sometime soon. Too likely employers can stumble on. Shame.
Besitos.
Although you are often able to be fully aware of the present moment, increased dream activity can stir up memories of your past. This emphasis on your inner life can wreak havoc on your outer world, causing you to read signals incorrectly or to judge a current situation based upon an old hurt or a previous success. If you slip into a fantasy, gently bring yourself back to here and now.Thursday, November 15, 2007
Dear Universe,
Long time no blog, huh?
We'll chalk it up to many things. Loss of phone equated to a loss of Mobile AIM, which is what allowed me to blog from my phone randomly at the rare moments I have been known to have an insight into life.
The Upside: I have a new Blackberry.
Lets discuss this. The Blackberry. Mobile Technology and E-mail rolled into one. Like a mini laptop, the thing simultaneously chains and free's me from my lawschool life.
The ups and downs. Major down. No radio. Not yet. If someone has an application for blackberry music, do please send. But, I doubt it.
That is my loss. I have lost my cool cool very cool capability of having an mp3 player in my phone. Boo.
Upside. I bought a damn MP3 player. Exciting? Mmmmm, no. here is why: On my MP3 Player I have the following Tracks: Torts1: Track 1, Torts 1: Track 2: ...
<Follow the pattern?>
Yes, I have now begun to not only study visually and through textile application
I now utilize my audio sensory mechanics to further absorb that which I feel can only be taught through immaculate conception.
God herself, himself, <it as my Civ Pro Procedure might correct... or may be for that matter...no wait, wrong Deity....is the Devil considered a Deity? She most certainly does not wear Prada.....>....
Long tangent....where was I? Awe yes. I now listen to my courses.
Pathetic. I know. I love it.
Other things I love.....hmmmm. Civil Procedure. Memo's. Torts. Re-writes. Lower grades then I've ever received in my life. Re-writes. A bombardment of criticisms. RE-writes of the re-writes. Job interviews. Re-writes of Memo's for Job Interviews? More Criticism....
Oh, how I could go on. And the list would only end at the point of the knife which has been thrust in my side that is the totality of what is Law School.
I hate, yes HATE Law School.
Don't get me wrong. I'm actually doing better than most.
After realizing that Law school is the biggest head trip (mind-fuck, torturous hazing experience, insert your preference here) ....
I have since stopped crying and having mental break downs like my colleagues, sleep more, eat less, and prepare each day the best I can, and accept thats all I can do.
Awww the Tao of Pooh, Why be an Eyore in the world of Eyores.
Me, I have decided to LOVE my law school experience....I am going to go places I've never gone, and spend money I don't have. and in the end, if I'm not on law review, at least I can say I had a hell of a time.
Well, I could go on, but alas I have a career panel to attend. Speaking of, this blog may disappear sometime soon. Too likely employers can stumble on. Shame.
Besitos.
Vocabulary expansion
cunnilingus?
Latin? had no idea. had to look it up. This is what law school teaches me for 42k a year.
Reminder: Disclaimer. read it. Don't yell at me. Just mentioning what my "Statute of Limitations" pg. 329 was discussing. Seriously.
Latin? had no idea. had to look it up. This is what law school teaches me for 42k a year.
Reminder: Disclaimer. read it. Don't yell at me. Just mentioning what my "Statute of Limitations" pg. 329 was discussing. Seriously.
The phone is lost....and I'm better for it.
For the second time tonight, I have mistakingly "lost" all kinds of data.
The first mishap of the evening was the loss of the blog of witty "realizations" I have just come to realize....
you will have to take my word for it.
The second mishap was loosing the entirity of a paper due on Tuesday. now mind you, it was only 1 page of writing, with about 2 pages of conceptual thought, but its the "loss that bugs....
All this after loosing my phone on Friday. I shouldn't be bugged but I am.....
As the title suggested, I feel my "loosing" of stuff is meerky symbolic of me "loosing myself" and "loosing touch" with reality.
Not in a "Witty" way I thought I might recover from, but in a serious "I need to get it together" realization....
The worst part is....I have no one to blame but myself.....The upside. I have everything it takes to get through it. Sadly, I know I'm all alone on this.
The first mishap of the evening was the loss of the blog of witty "realizations" I have just come to realize....
you will have to take my word for it.
The second mishap was loosing the entirity of a paper due on Tuesday. now mind you, it was only 1 page of writing, with about 2 pages of conceptual thought, but its the "loss that bugs....
All this after loosing my phone on Friday. I shouldn't be bugged but I am.....
As the title suggested, I feel my "loosing" of stuff is meerky symbolic of me "loosing myself" and "loosing touch" with reality.
Not in a "Witty" way I thought I might recover from, but in a serious "I need to get it together" realization....
The worst part is....I have no one to blame but myself.....The upside. I have everything it takes to get through it. Sadly, I know I'm all alone on this.
|
|
Someone once told me its amazing how people focus more on what we don't say, rather than what we do say.
Two examples of this:
Yesterday I questioned my Legal Methods professor... I left him "stumped;"and, he had no answer. Its amazing to leave a god in your eyes speechless.
Second example, I think a good friend of mine here has taken my silence on my personal life as an absence and "want"for a personal life. Moreover the personal life I do have, if one exist, functions --in fact-- on what is not said.
We-human beings, collectively- are excited to guess that what is not said is in fact what we want to hear.
Two examples of this:
Yesterday I questioned my Legal Methods professor... I left him "stumped;"and, he had no answer. Its amazing to leave a god in your eyes speechless.
Second example, I think a good friend of mine here has taken my silence on my personal life as an absence and "want"for a personal life. Moreover the personal life I do have, if one exist, functions --in fact-- on what is not said.
We-human beings, collectively- are excited to guess that what is not said is in fact what we want to hear.
Read (this) or Die. Japanese cartoon series or my lifestyle?
Actually, tonight is a great night. I am caught up on reading.
Of course that will change by tomorrow when i get my outlining and contract assignment, but tonight? Tonight has not turned into tomorrow like so many nights before, and i am actually, able! to
Go to sleep not worrying about what hasn't been done! Lol. Wow! In the words of Someone i miss, "don't worry about next tuesday, tuesday hasn't happened yet." ~.~ besos
Actually, tonight is a great night. I am caught up on reading.
Of course that will change by tomorrow when i get my outlining and contract assignment, but tonight? Tonight has not turned into tomorrow like so many nights before, and i am actually, able! to
Go to sleep not worrying about what hasn't been done! Lol. Wow! In the words of Someone i miss, "don't worry about next tuesday, tuesday hasn't happened yet." ~.~ besos
Wasting Time
JOSH KELLEY, "Amazing"
You paint a picture on the wall
Cause you've got a lot to tell me
But you don't think you could say it better oh baby
You're bringing up times I can't recall
And I'm sure they made your point
But I just can't seem to remember yeah
And I know you've got the feeling
And I can't say I'm agreeing
With your topic of conversation
So just listen to the reasons
And the hints I've been giving
To the thoughts of my imagination
[Chorus]
So come on let me see
I say baby you are amazing
I want to let you see
That you are everything and more to me
I will let you be I will I will
Cause I saw you walking down the hall
And I had a lot to tell you
But I didn't think you could say it better oh baby
You're good at makin me feel so small
And I know you made your point
But I just don't want to remember yeah
And I know you've got the feelin
And I cant say I'm agreein with your topic of conversation
So just listen to the reasons
And the hints that I've been giving
To the thoughts of my imagination
[Chorus]
Cause I'm dancing around
In your world of play
I'm takin my time to make sure you stay
I would give my life to make it okay yeah
So come on let me see...
You paint a picture on the wall
Cause you've got a lot to tell me
But you don't think you could say it better oh baby
You're bringing up times I can't recall
And I'm sure they made your point
But I just can't seem to remember yeah
And I know you've got the feeling
And I can't say I'm agreeing
With your topic of conversation
So just listen to the reasons
And the hints I've been giving
To the thoughts of my imagination
[Chorus]
So come on let me see
I say baby you are amazing
I want to let you see
That you are everything and more to me
I will let you be I will I will
Cause I saw you walking down the hall
And I had a lot to tell you
But I didn't think you could say it better oh baby
You're good at makin me feel so small
And I know you made your point
But I just don't want to remember yeah
And I know you've got the feelin
And I cant say I'm agreein with your topic of conversation
So just listen to the reasons
And the hints that I've been giving
To the thoughts of my imagination
[Chorus]
Cause I'm dancing around
In your world of play
I'm takin my time to make sure you stay
I would give my life to make it okay yeah
So come on let me see...
1L does not equate to give me your advice
Quick rant.
Why is it that every upper class men feels obliged to provide me with her take on how I should be taking 1L life. I understand constructive criticism, I understand helpful insight, I do not under any circumstances appreciate, respect, yet have certainly come to EXPECT having my colleagues and I to be told apparently "to suck it up"....
This is not high school. You are not the kool kidz. I am over it, I am over you, and I'm done with the BS. Uh.....One day, I may truly be forced to share with the Upperclassmen, that despite popular belief, I made it through two baccalaureate programs with 2 degrees, and have two masters diplomas waiting to be framed....and surprise surprise, I did in-fact, make it to the SAME Law School. All without being told how to do it.
That aside...I was having a GREAT DAY and NOT TALKING TO THE UPPER CLASSMEN WHO GAVE HER UNINVITED, UNWELCOME, RAIN ON MY PARADE, Comment that ruined my colleagues day. In the shortest: How Rude.
All aside. Getting 5 hours of sleep is starting to seem normal, not getting text messages in lecture hall, on the metro, or pretty much when my phone doesn't wanna still weird.
Other oddity. I'm in law school, I should know what bombast means without having to look it up. Really.
Night :)
Why is it that every upper class men feels obliged to provide me with her take on how I should be taking 1L life. I understand constructive criticism, I understand helpful insight, I do not under any circumstances appreciate, respect, yet have certainly come to EXPECT having my colleagues and I to be told apparently "to suck it up"....
This is not high school. You are not the kool kidz. I am over it, I am over you, and I'm done with the BS. Uh.....One day, I may truly be forced to share with the Upperclassmen, that despite popular belief, I made it through two baccalaureate programs with 2 degrees, and have two masters diplomas waiting to be framed....and surprise surprise, I did in-fact, make it to the SAME Law School. All without being told how to do it.
That aside...I was having a GREAT DAY and NOT TALKING TO THE UPPER CLASSMEN WHO GAVE HER UNINVITED, UNWELCOME, RAIN ON MY PARADE, Comment that ruined my colleagues day. In the shortest: How Rude.
All aside. Getting 5 hours of sleep is starting to seem normal, not getting text messages in lecture hall, on the metro, or pretty much when my phone doesn't wanna still weird.
Other oddity. I'm in law school, I should know what bombast means without having to look it up. Really.
Night :)
Today
Today started off well enough.
Late as usual, but awake, and prepared to hop on my 9am rail to school.
For those that caught that, yes, it's Sunday, a weekend, and I'm going to school--Library, Study Group, Legal Methods to be exact, .
Just like Next Saturday, I will be going to school, Writing Lab, 4 hours, grammar.
Life as a 1L.
I've learned, we're not graded on the curve that hinges on "imaginary competition, amongst colleagues." Undoubtedly that curve is their. As phrased by a 2L,
"Everyone fails, you just want to fail the least..."
No--the curve in law school is not about how you're doing compared to your neighbor. Its about how good "you" as an individual are doing at keeping up with the "learning curve."
Sure it starts off rough,....30 pages a night, 5 classes a week, week one.
the increments steadily increase. 40 pages a night, week two. 45 pages week 3.
Week 4, you are reading 50 a night and not blinking. In addition to reading you now have "Memo's due" and Cases to "shepardize." You have in fact stopped briefing all your cases for all your classes, and are realizing, "hey, I read."
***
But Lets catch up.
My Friday night
My FIRST Friday night out in weeks, maybe months? A baseball game, that one of the Law-clubs on campus sponsored. Being a would-be member of this organization, I thought it choice to attend.
Straight from school, I am picked up at 4:30 to arrive at the tail-gate at 5ish. I have not changed from my "conservative" school clothes, but have tried to "blend" and opted to wear a baseball cap that has my "School" name on it. (woo-hoo)
As I am being handed a wine-cooler, to my mentors astonishment, she acknowledges and admonishes, that still in my hand is my reading for Legal Methods along with five beautiful highlighters, for the ever revered multi-highlighting book brief shortcuts discussed in Law School Confidential-which indeed I have never read.
Unlike my group members, not present for said function, I realize I must play catch-up, and knowing I have NO Interest in Baseball, That I will be reading at this game.....
I'm let off the social "party-foul" hook, as I take my first drink.
3 and a half hours, 2 more drinks, and after witnessing my mentor do a Keg-stand, I am realizing that I desperately need to leave.
Of course, once again, I'm admonished and praised for being the better and yet most boring student of the lot.
***
Saturday
I ignore the social calls once more to go out for lunch, and settle for something "boxed" as take-out, only by promising to meet for dinner, I brought my highlighters and reading to dinner.
***
Today, Sunday.
I woke up. (I've learned, "that counts.")
I'm ready to leave, when, "where is the cat?" comes into my head, and out of my mouth.
"Kitty" "Time to come home"
-she didn't come...I walked for a block, looked up and down tree's and she didn't come. I missed my rail. I of course have 5 hours to make the next rail. (As study group isn't til 2:30 this afternoon. But, after my ride had left, of course, on my steps, is my beautiful blue cat. She's grounded. But relieved as I was, I let her curl up next to me, and was just happy to have her safe. The things that matter, right?
Speaking of which, I've decided to share some encouragement, before I delete most:
Here are the things (some of the text) that are currently in my phone, that get me through my day: [edited of course for readability and protection of identity]
"Improvise, adapt, overcome, and kill someone if you have to!" --Marine 5/3/05
"There comes a point in your life where you realize who really matters, who never did, and who never will. Send this to those who matter" -Mom 9/28/06
"A person you dislike is like a slinky. Useless until you push them down the stairs and it brings a smile to your face."-John Doe. 12/14/06
From my mother, asking me to send a msg to my father, after a divorce of 20 years, "Happy 28th Anniversary; I'm still happy because I got you" Mom, 6/16/07
"I love you too" My Favorite Sister 7/31/07
"All work and no fun makes..." S 8/1/07
"I am out in Texas now...Like I said baby just try and remember how you have pulled out of worse situations before. You're a soldier, remember beautiful." 8/7/07 -"Dirk"
"Good luck with everything out there. I know you will rock it" 8/10/07
"You need to know that it is about you now. Honey, this entire struggle is your investment in YOUR life....If someone ins in your life now and they are not helping, they are in the way. Seriously, you have worked way to hard to let anyone bring you down. Just so you know, I am proud to know someone that knows what they want, and that has the drive and stick-tu-a-tiveness. Thats you honey. One amazing woman that has everything anyone couldask for. Be strong like I know you are. Soon enough you will be through school and your struggle now will pay off for the rest of your life. With love honey" "Dirk" 8/20/07
"Sounds like you're fighting your way to greatness. " S 8/24/07
"Good luck. I'm sure its hard to gauge any progress at this point, but in the long term you will do great. Just remember to take a second to look around" 9/4/07
After the posting of "Law School Musical" -"I know that you would make a hott mess compared to the guy in the video in that situation" S 9/11/07
"I read your latest blog..." S 9/18/07
I guess my letters to No One do reach Someone, and maybe the "ideas" will reach everyone.
Time to purge the phone in hopes, that someone will fill it up again with an equal amount of encouragement. Wishing my little universe some hope...
http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2007-09-22-jena-tensions_N.htm
Late as usual, but awake, and prepared to hop on my 9am rail to school.
For those that caught that, yes, it's Sunday, a weekend, and I'm going to school--Library, Study Group, Legal Methods to be exact, .
Just like Next Saturday, I will be going to school, Writing Lab, 4 hours, grammar.
Life as a 1L.
I've learned, we're not graded on the curve that hinges on "imaginary competition, amongst colleagues." Undoubtedly that curve is their. As phrased by a 2L,
"Everyone fails, you just want to fail the least..."
No--the curve in law school is not about how you're doing compared to your neighbor. Its about how good "you" as an individual are doing at keeping up with the "learning curve."
Sure it starts off rough,....30 pages a night, 5 classes a week, week one.
the increments steadily increase. 40 pages a night, week two. 45 pages week 3.
Week 4, you are reading 50 a night and not blinking. In addition to reading you now have "Memo's due" and Cases to "shepardize." You have in fact stopped briefing all your cases for all your classes, and are realizing, "hey, I read."
***
But Lets catch up.
My Friday night
My FIRST Friday night out in weeks, maybe months? A baseball game, that one of the Law-clubs on campus sponsored. Being a would-be member of this organization, I thought it choice to attend.
Straight from school, I am picked up at 4:30 to arrive at the tail-gate at 5ish. I have not changed from my "conservative" school clothes, but have tried to "blend" and opted to wear a baseball cap that has my "School" name on it. (woo-hoo)
As I am being handed a wine-cooler, to my mentors astonishment, she acknowledges and admonishes, that still in my hand is my reading for Legal Methods along with five beautiful highlighters, for the ever revered multi-highlighting book brief shortcuts discussed in Law School Confidential-which indeed I have never read.
Unlike my group members, not present for said function, I realize I must play catch-up, and knowing I have NO Interest in Baseball, That I will be reading at this game.....
I'm let off the social "party-foul" hook, as I take my first drink.
3 and a half hours, 2 more drinks, and after witnessing my mentor do a Keg-stand, I am realizing that I desperately need to leave.
Of course, once again, I'm admonished and praised for being the better and yet most boring student of the lot.
***
Saturday
I ignore the social calls once more to go out for lunch, and settle for something "boxed" as take-out, only by promising to meet for dinner, I brought my highlighters and reading to dinner.
***
Today, Sunday.
I woke up. (I've learned, "that counts.")
I'm ready to leave, when, "where is the cat?" comes into my head, and out of my mouth.
"Kitty" "Time to come home"
-she didn't come...I walked for a block, looked up and down tree's and she didn't come. I missed my rail. I of course have 5 hours to make the next rail. (As study group isn't til 2:30 this afternoon. But, after my ride had left, of course, on my steps, is my beautiful blue cat. She's grounded. But relieved as I was, I let her curl up next to me, and was just happy to have her safe. The things that matter, right?
Speaking of which, I've decided to share some encouragement, before I delete most:
Here are the things (some of the text) that are currently in my phone, that get me through my day: [edited of course for readability and protection of identity]
"Improvise, adapt, overcome, and kill someone if you have to!" --Marine 5/3/05
"There comes a point in your life where you realize who really matters, who never did, and who never will. Send this to those who matter" -Mom 9/28/06
"A person you dislike is like a slinky. Useless until you push them down the stairs and it brings a smile to your face."-John Doe. 12/14/06
From my mother, asking me to send a msg to my father, after a divorce of 20 years, "Happy 28th Anniversary; I'm still happy because I got you" Mom, 6/16/07
"I love you too" My Favorite Sister 7/31/07
"All work and no fun makes..." S 8/1/07
"I am out in Texas now...Like I said baby just try and remember how you have pulled out of worse situations before. You're a soldier, remember beautiful." 8/7/07 -"Dirk"
"Good luck with everything out there. I know you will rock it" 8/10/07
"You need to know that it is about you now. Honey, this entire struggle is your investment in YOUR life....If someone ins in your life now and they are not helping, they are in the way. Seriously, you have worked way to hard to let anyone bring you down. Just so you know, I am proud to know someone that knows what they want, and that has the drive and stick-tu-a-tiveness. Thats you honey. One amazing woman that has everything anyone couldask for. Be strong like I know you are. Soon enough you will be through school and your struggle now will pay off for the rest of your life. With love honey" "Dirk" 8/20/07
"Sounds like you're fighting your way to greatness. " S 8/24/07
"Good luck. I'm sure its hard to gauge any progress at this point, but in the long term you will do great. Just remember to take a second to look around" 9/4/07
After the posting of "Law School Musical" -"I know that you would make a hott mess compared to the guy in the video in that situation" S 9/11/07
"I read your latest blog..." S 9/18/07
I guess my letters to No One do reach Someone, and maybe the "ideas" will reach everyone.
Time to purge the phone in hopes, that someone will fill it up again with an equal amount of encouragement. Wishing my little universe some hope...
http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2007-09-22-jena-tensions_N.htm
Torts 101. You tell me?
Torts 101. Battery. Assault. False imprisonment. Violation of the USC 1983...yeah you can go there. ....
How about trespass, self-defense, right to arrest, resisting arrest?
Reasonable force.
Taken directly from the kids website, I'm left wondering what the outcome could be....
Andrew Meyer is currently incarcerated in Alachua County. While asking U.S. Senator John Kerry a question during a question and answer period following Kerry's speech at the University of Florida, Meyer was attacked by five police officers, manhandled and tasered. Fortunately there are videos and many witnesses to this injustice. Some articles and videos are linked below. Please show your support by educating yourselves and raising awareness by letting others know what has happened. Continue checking back to this website for updates. http://www.theandrewmeyer.com/
How about trespass, self-defense, right to arrest, resisting arrest?
Reasonable force.
Taken directly from the kids website, I'm left wondering what the outcome could be....
Andrew Meyer is currently incarcerated in Alachua County. While asking U.S. Senator John Kerry a question during a question and answer period following Kerry's speech at the University of Florida, Meyer was attacked by five police officers, manhandled and tasered. Fortunately there are videos and many witnesses to this injustice. Some articles and videos are linked below. Please show your support by educating yourselves and raising awareness by letting others know what has happened. Continue checking back to this website for updates. http://www.theandrewmeyer.com/
NBC Video
Video on Digg (Please digg this!)
Keep DIGGING! This is currently number one on DIGG!!!
FoxNews! (Meyer made the front page of FoxNews.com)
The article is located at http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,297126,00.html
University of Florida Newspaper "The Alligator"
Gainesville Sun
NOW... here's something else....Just a note. My two cents, and maybe just "sense". Within 24 hours this has sparked national campus wide protest. Why is it that Mychael Bell has spent 9 months in prison, with only Historically Black Universities being upset. Why is the media so eager to take up one causeand not another?
Why is Mychael treated and reported in the media like a "convicted criminal," when only "allegations" are available? Why is it that Mychael's been in prison for 9 months when prosecution admitted had he pleaded, he should have only received a 5 month maximum sentence? Why isn't the media possibly releasing to the public that The Jenna 6 were also victims and not solely perpetrators of violence???
May I remind people that are upset about the Kerry/UF incident, that this is 48 hours of injustice, to an adult. It's well documented, well published....and undoubtedly, will receive excellent representation.
Mychael. The judge dismissed the charges. The DA has yet to refile. The alleged "beating" was treated same day. Do I condone Mychael's behavior, IF in fact the allegations were found true and a FAIR trial were held. No. But like Andrew Myer's case....there is a thing as "reasonable force."
For that matter, there is something to be said about not allowing oneself to be scared into silence or submission.
Tomorrow, along with two metropolitan "national schools," I will be supporting the fight of injustice to Everyone, everywhere by wearing Black, there will probably be at least 600 of us. We've alerted the media to come. What do you think little universe?
Think they'll care? Think we might (JUST MIGHT????) get 5 minutes on the ten o'clock news? I don't know....but I'm hopeful.
Let me know your thoughts little universe.
My thoughts can't keep up with the page...
If only you knew....
Lately, that's the sentence on my mind. If only you knew.....
Well let us begin with something said weeks ago:
Prayer. Do I pray. More often then never, and even more now.
But let me qualify my statement.
I don't look to prayer as my slot machine, and a higher being as some glorious casino ready to pay out, if I just say the right magic words.
In the words and vision of life as a 1L, I don't use Prayer, like it's an element in Contract.
quid pro quo. This for that.
I'm guessing, if there is a higher power, and I'm pretty sure there is, (s)he/the concept, is not one for wagers. I mean after all, what could I really offer?
If I'm a good hearted/spirited/[insert your choice of quality] here, I'm guessing this supreme being is well aware of my devotions, and needs no "trinkets" of my devotion....
My not eating choclate for a week is not gonna get me the "A" I need or want in a course, it won't make me thin or "prettier" (because everyone is gorgeous, and truly, I believe that I'm pretty damn hott....lol), but really, my bargaining skills aren't gonna do much for a higher power that supposably created everything right? I mean what could ya really offer? your soul? Um, hello? the words, no duh.....and weren't ya gonna do that anyway, come into play....I mean really, whats the alternative?
If you'd like a synopsis on "that particuliar" religious beliefs of mine and the irony of it all, see
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AalXl2dc0Kk&mode=related&search=
Don't be offended, or do. it just makes me laugh. Vicious cycle indeed.
So yes, I pray. in fact I've been to our chapel often lately. Odd thing. Our school used to be an all girls catholic school. so right in the middle of all the hustle and bustle. there it is.
Last week I had the opportunity to hear "We shall overcome"....amazing.
Sigh. Jenna 6.
Anyone else as excited and happy? I hope you all are keeping tabs.
REMEMBER its not over yet. Mychal Bell is still in jail. He and his parents still need support. I happen to know the attorneys working on this trial. and
For up to date action I can say http://www.freethejena6.org/
is a pretty great source.
Buy a shirt, write a blog, call a politician, and end this nonsense.
You heard me nonsense.
I hardly ever go there, but if people can't get past the superficial exteriors, well what does that say about your interior. (See above)
Sigh. thats been the bulk of it. Trying to fight for justice, while keeping an A.
Oh, yeah, I got an A.
Lots of work, and little sleep, with no guarantees that the ends justify the means, but hey...the Mychal Bells of the world need my help.
I'm getting it little universe. I'm finding my place. Not in that social circle of "acceptance" but in that marginalized circle of dreamers.
Last note, before I return to Torts....
My mom sent me a picture of my baby sister the other night. I say baby, because she's still a little girl to me, but she's 17 now. Mychal Bells age.
Now, I never claimed to have much. Life of hard knocks, with a school that had security guards that were crooked enough to get me out of class.....
but....in this world I grew up. Up and out. And I'm in law school now. Two masters under my belt, and more debt then you could guess, but trying....
and when I call my mom crying and ask her why I even bother....she didn't make me believe her I needed to go on until I saw a picture of my baby sister....
Now. Please don't think. Homecoming, or Prom, or Some Great high school even.
No.... My sister was sleeping.
My sister was sleeping on a card-board box.
Please don't get me wrong, its not as bad as you may think...It's just, we don't have carpet. Actually we don't have tile either. its concrete. Foundation. But its home. Carpet is expensive, and my mom pays the morgage on the house, and when its paid off, well its will be HER home. and it just never mattered.
But weathers gotten cold, and if you ever watch TV on the floor, well, your butts gonna freeze. So my sister in all of her wisdom, brought some huge cardboard box home, and set it up on her floor.
What gets me most. Is over the summer, when I was home....she'd give up her bed and sleep on that cardboard box, just so I could have a bed. Isn't that something?
Well anyways, that was the picture. My sister was peacefully asleep on a cardboard box.
The caption read "This is why."
Lately, that's the sentence on my mind. If only you knew.....
Well let us begin with something said weeks ago:
Prayer. Do I pray. More often then never, and even more now.
But let me qualify my statement.
I don't look to prayer as my slot machine, and a higher being as some glorious casino ready to pay out, if I just say the right magic words.
In the words and vision of life as a 1L, I don't use Prayer, like it's an element in Contract.
quid pro quo. This for that.
I'm guessing, if there is a higher power, and I'm pretty sure there is, (s)he/the concept, is not one for wagers. I mean after all, what could I really offer?
If I'm a good hearted/spirited/[insert your choice of quality] here, I'm guessing this supreme being is well aware of my devotions, and needs no "trinkets" of my devotion....
My not eating choclate for a week is not gonna get me the "A" I need or want in a course, it won't make me thin or "prettier" (because everyone is gorgeous, and truly, I believe that I'm pretty damn hott....lol), but really, my bargaining skills aren't gonna do much for a higher power that supposably created everything right? I mean what could ya really offer? your soul? Um, hello? the words, no duh.....and weren't ya gonna do that anyway, come into play....I mean really, whats the alternative?
If you'd like a synopsis on "that particuliar" religious beliefs of mine and the irony of it all, see
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AalXl2dc0Kk&mode=related&search=
Don't be offended, or do. it just makes me laugh. Vicious cycle indeed.
So yes, I pray. in fact I've been to our chapel often lately. Odd thing. Our school used to be an all girls catholic school. so right in the middle of all the hustle and bustle. there it is.
Last week I had the opportunity to hear "We shall overcome"....amazing.
Sigh. Jenna 6.
Anyone else as excited and happy? I hope you all are keeping tabs.
REMEMBER its not over yet. Mychal Bell is still in jail. He and his parents still need support. I happen to know the attorneys working on this trial. and
For up to date action I can say http://www.freethejena6.org/
is a pretty great source.
Buy a shirt, write a blog, call a politician, and end this nonsense.
You heard me nonsense.
I hardly ever go there, but if people can't get past the superficial exteriors, well what does that say about your interior. (See above)
Sigh. thats been the bulk of it. Trying to fight for justice, while keeping an A.
Oh, yeah, I got an A.
Lots of work, and little sleep, with no guarantees that the ends justify the means, but hey...the Mychal Bells of the world need my help.
I'm getting it little universe. I'm finding my place. Not in that social circle of "acceptance" but in that marginalized circle of dreamers.
Last note, before I return to Torts....
My mom sent me a picture of my baby sister the other night. I say baby, because she's still a little girl to me, but she's 17 now. Mychal Bells age.
Now, I never claimed to have much. Life of hard knocks, with a school that had security guards that were crooked enough to get me out of class.....
but....in this world I grew up. Up and out. And I'm in law school now. Two masters under my belt, and more debt then you could guess, but trying....
and when I call my mom crying and ask her why I even bother....she didn't make me believe her I needed to go on until I saw a picture of my baby sister....
Now. Please don't think. Homecoming, or Prom, or Some Great high school even.
No.... My sister was sleeping.
My sister was sleeping on a card-board box.
Please don't get me wrong, its not as bad as you may think...It's just, we don't have carpet. Actually we don't have tile either. its concrete. Foundation. But its home. Carpet is expensive, and my mom pays the morgage on the house, and when its paid off, well its will be HER home. and it just never mattered.
But weathers gotten cold, and if you ever watch TV on the floor, well, your butts gonna freeze. So my sister in all of her wisdom, brought some huge cardboard box home, and set it up on her floor.
What gets me most. Is over the summer, when I was home....she'd give up her bed and sleep on that cardboard box, just so I could have a bed. Isn't that something?
Well anyways, that was the picture. My sister was peacefully asleep on a cardboard box.
The caption read "This is why."
"Id."short for "idem,"meaning the same. Similar to "ibid."an abbreviation for "ibidem,"latin for "the getting everything one wants, and still wanting more.
State v. Killer; Life as a 1L continues
Friday, I may have time to update...Really, I'll try, but until...
My Class Song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8ABhatAfsA
I don't know how the hell a 1-L had the time....but wow....so true.
I have more to say. swear. just. later. miss you universe.
My Class Song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8ABhatAfsA
I don't know how the hell a 1-L had the time....but wow....so true.
I have more to say. swear. just. later. miss you universe.
A day of rememberance
I've spent the past two days in my Law Schools Chapel....and though I have much to say, on the feelings of that alone, I have no time to say it now....
Today, I dawn my "pin" for the first time under the saddest of circumstances. Today the school will stop. From 12:15 to 1pm. A month and a day. We will remember Oliver Hill.
If you do not know who this great man is, I invite you to read a short synopsis:
http://www.naacpldf.org/content.aspx?article=1187
Amazing, how death can put life into perspective. Amazing how one life changed so many others.....
Today, it isn't about being a 1L or how much books cost, or the bureaucracy of trying to get a refund check...From 12:15 to 1pm, the school will stop.
I will stop.
I will remember my legacy.
I will carry the torch.
Today, I dawn my "pin" for the first time under the saddest of circumstances. Today the school will stop. From 12:15 to 1pm. A month and a day. We will remember Oliver Hill.
If you do not know who this great man is, I invite you to read a short synopsis:
http://www.naacpldf.org/content.aspx?article=1187
Amazing, how death can put life into perspective. Amazing how one life changed so many others.....
Today, it isn't about being a 1L or how much books cost, or the bureaucracy of trying to get a refund check...From 12:15 to 1pm, the school will stop.
I will stop.
I will remember my legacy.
I will carry the torch.
No way its this easy....
Legal Methods has 22 classes, as of today I have completed 11 of those classes.
I am halfway done. Not possible you say? Oh but it is. If you account for holidays, and the 3 days we have off (called "reading period") to prepare for our exams. There are 11 more actual classes.
And me? I'm finally breathing. After a serious four day retreat of non-stop reading, a color coding folder and notebook OCD compulsion, plus this handy dandy calender idea I created for myself (also OCD and color coded)....I finally feel like I have things under control. well maybe....we'll see in a week.
All and all I'm relaxing. I even watched a movie today. I may regret not utilizing the time to study tomorrow, but in the moment, I'm feeling ok.
In all reality I'm leary....its like the calm before the storm. I know its gonna hit, its just a matter of when, and hoping I got no slip shoes on. :)
On another positive note. I think I may have a friend or two.
Well, nicer colleagues anyways.
Hope everyone is doing well in their own little universe., mine seems to be aligning nicely with the sun.
I am halfway done. Not possible you say? Oh but it is. If you account for holidays, and the 3 days we have off (called "reading period") to prepare for our exams. There are 11 more actual classes.
And me? I'm finally breathing. After a serious four day retreat of non-stop reading, a color coding folder and notebook OCD compulsion, plus this handy dandy calender idea I created for myself (also OCD and color coded)....I finally feel like I have things under control. well maybe....we'll see in a week.
All and all I'm relaxing. I even watched a movie today. I may regret not utilizing the time to study tomorrow, but in the moment, I'm feeling ok.
In all reality I'm leary....its like the calm before the storm. I know its gonna hit, its just a matter of when, and hoping I got no slip shoes on. :)
On another positive note. I think I may have a friend or two.
Well, nicer colleagues anyways.
Hope everyone is doing well in their own little universe., mine seems to be aligning nicely with the sun.
Week 2, Assignment 1 Over
It's done, five minutes before deadline, it's done.
Turned in, and done. Now, congratulate me, for all I need to do this weekend is read a few hundred pages in Torts, Civil Law, Contracts, and schedule a Legal writing lab. Eh, Boo on that.....I think I am going to eat ice cream. Oooh, ice cream and apple cobbler.
Trust me, its delicious and I deserve it.
****Sigh****
I hear there's a real world outside the one I've created in my head. Lol.
Here's some insight. We JUST finished week two, and TV is talked about in the past tense....(No lie, this conversation did take place.)
"Do you get to watch TV?....Do you schedule it in for that "break we're SUPPOSED to give ourselves?...No, me neither....I miss TV."
"Do you remember Bravo shows? Like Project Runway...I hear that started?"
"Did you ever watch HEROES?...Yeah, I think I'll buy the season for a christmas gift to myself after finals are over"
"I miss my x-box....I just looked at my controller last night...."
"Yeah man, I had an X-box."
Forever ago.....*Sigh. On the plus side, I almost have all my books ordered. Classes aren't until Tuesday. and my first graded assignment is done.
Maybe I'll sleep to reward myself??? I haven't done that in a while.
Cobbler then sleep....
Sleep sounds nice....at least for an hour before I start on Civil Procedure.
Cobbler then sleep....
Turned in, and done. Now, congratulate me, for all I need to do this weekend is read a few hundred pages in Torts, Civil Law, Contracts, and schedule a Legal writing lab. Eh, Boo on that.....I think I am going to eat ice cream. Oooh, ice cream and apple cobbler.
Trust me, its delicious and I deserve it.
****Sigh****
I hear there's a real world outside the one I've created in my head. Lol.
Here's some insight. We JUST finished week two, and TV is talked about in the past tense....(No lie, this conversation did take place.)
"Do you get to watch TV?....Do you schedule it in for that "break we're SUPPOSED to give ourselves?...No, me neither....I miss TV."
"Do you remember Bravo shows? Like Project Runway...I hear that started?"
"Did you ever watch HEROES?...Yeah, I think I'll buy the season for a christmas gift to myself after finals are over"
"I miss my x-box....I just looked at my controller last night...."
"Yeah man, I had an X-box."
Forever ago.....*Sigh. On the plus side, I almost have all my books ordered. Classes aren't until Tuesday. and my first graded assignment is done.
Maybe I'll sleep to reward myself??? I haven't done that in a while.
Cobbler then sleep....
Sleep sounds nice....at least for an hour before I start on Civil Procedure.
Cobbler then sleep....
The Breakdown
I have a shirt, that has a cute little owl holding a bitten lolly-pop saying "Uno...., dos....."
Should you translate it from Spanish to English, it would read: "One, Two....."
The shirt is based on the commercial "How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop"
This day has sadly become the analogy to my shirt.
How many licks does it take to get to the center of this 1L.
I'm almost ashamed to admit it, but given I pulled it together...Let me just put it out there.
I cried. From 8:30 am to 8:45 am I couldn't stop crying. The simple idea that I was not on schedule, that I couldn't get some "rationale" down for my "rule of law" for the upcoming assignment, and the fact that I simply just want to sleep or get some damn Starbucks coffee to make it through my day, made me cry. And I couldn't stop.
Its week 2, day 9 or 10, because I've lost all sense of time, and I'm already crying! What does that say? Does that say I'm week, that I can't hack? Absolutely not. And I know this. So Why can't I stop crying?
I start thinking of my scholarship. $10,000 dollars. Not even a fourth of my tuition. But as per our GLORIOUS administrative seminar yesterday, we were all reminded how our "class rank" determines whether or not we have our scholarships renewed. And I'm on week 2! Week 2 and I'm tripping over 1 damn assignment not even worth 1/10 of my final grade and I'm crying. And you know why??? Because it matters, people may say it doesn't but it does. 10 points from may grade may be the defining difference between being in the top 8 students in my section versus being student nine. Student 9 looses everything. No matter how great your rationale, no matter how air tight your essays to come may be, there's only room for 8 people, i that top 3% and and in law school, yeah, everyone is determined to be one of those 8. Everyone is working just as hard.
I pull it together by 8:45. not because I'm done crying or not because I've centered and pulled my cool Taoist mentality into focus. No I stop crying because I have a god damn case to re-read for the 18th thousandth time, and deadlines come faster than you know, and Civ.Pro already put out the next assignment....
I stop crying and just in time, because another person from my section hops on the metro with me. I'm smiles and sunshine, because everyone lies in law school.
We talk blase, and completely avoid the cases at hand. Which makes me think we're friends.
Here's my decoder ring for any one interested:
Those who talk about "getting it," are lying.
Those who talk about "not getting it, " are lying.
Everyone says "do what works for you." --Liars
This is me not lying. I cried. I'm not even through freaking week 2 and I'm crying.
Oh well, maybe I'm just more honest with myself. Maybe I'll scare myself into perfection.
A quote from someone else's blog that rang true. "All I can say about the old days, is that I think about them every single minute."-JM
Should you translate it from Spanish to English, it would read: "One, Two....."
The shirt is based on the commercial "How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop"
This day has sadly become the analogy to my shirt.
How many licks does it take to get to the center of this 1L.
I'm almost ashamed to admit it, but given I pulled it together...Let me just put it out there.
I cried. From 8:30 am to 8:45 am I couldn't stop crying. The simple idea that I was not on schedule, that I couldn't get some "rationale" down for my "rule of law" for the upcoming assignment, and the fact that I simply just want to sleep or get some damn Starbucks coffee to make it through my day, made me cry. And I couldn't stop.
Its week 2, day 9 or 10, because I've lost all sense of time, and I'm already crying! What does that say? Does that say I'm week, that I can't hack? Absolutely not. And I know this. So Why can't I stop crying?
I start thinking of my scholarship. $10,000 dollars. Not even a fourth of my tuition. But as per our GLORIOUS administrative seminar yesterday, we were all reminded how our "class rank" determines whether or not we have our scholarships renewed. And I'm on week 2! Week 2 and I'm tripping over 1 damn assignment not even worth 1/10 of my final grade and I'm crying. And you know why??? Because it matters, people may say it doesn't but it does. 10 points from may grade may be the defining difference between being in the top 8 students in my section versus being student nine. Student 9 looses everything. No matter how great your rationale, no matter how air tight your essays to come may be, there's only room for 8 people, i that top 3% and and in law school, yeah, everyone is determined to be one of those 8. Everyone is working just as hard.
I pull it together by 8:45. not because I'm done crying or not because I've centered and pulled my cool Taoist mentality into focus. No I stop crying because I have a god damn case to re-read for the 18th thousandth time, and deadlines come faster than you know, and Civ.Pro already put out the next assignment....
I stop crying and just in time, because another person from my section hops on the metro with me. I'm smiles and sunshine, because everyone lies in law school.
We talk blase, and completely avoid the cases at hand. Which makes me think we're friends.
Here's my decoder ring for any one interested:
Those who talk about "getting it," are lying.
Those who talk about "not getting it, " are lying.
Everyone says "do what works for you." --Liars
This is me not lying. I cried. I'm not even through freaking week 2 and I'm crying.
Oh well, maybe I'm just more honest with myself. Maybe I'll scare myself into perfection.
A quote from someone else's blog that rang true. "All I can say about the old days, is that I think about them every single minute."-JM
Daily Horoscope
You may be feeling the emotional stress associated with this Full Moon
Eclipse in your 8th House of Transformation. You might not want to
change in ways that are being required of you now. Even if you know
that the old road is changing, you may not be ready for the new path to
appear. Nevertheless, your happiness may depend on your ability to let
go of the past.
The Finding of a Mentor, and A Meeting of a Friend
Like chores around my house, I understand thoroughly that regular attention to this day by day play of my life as a 1L will be impossible. But perhaps, the summary (or in legal jargon, the canned brief of it all).
Day 3:
My professor is French, speaks with a French accent, and admittedly every girl in the entire law school is willing to ruin their ABA bar application for a chance of one steamy romantically fantasized night with him. Me....Lol, Actually I'll pass.
I sit on the right side of the classroom, and he speaks to the left. I'm definitely changing seats.
Today's dominative required seminar to attend. Hey girls listen up: Sexual harassment. Haha. Faculty and students relationships are strictly prohibited (even if they are legal).
Stay at library, attempt to do reading. Bleh. I'm bored. Home-sleep.
Day 4:
Wake up extremely early because I have not completed my reading. Catch Metro two hours early, and show up to class--again, two hours early.
I am obviously not the only one with seat change and the assignment on my mind, as two students are already present with books open.
Today, I sit to the left. Go figure, seating chart does not go out until tomorrow. Quiz. Yes, if you have been paying attention I am technically attending "Class #2" at this point, meaning I am now being tested on material from Day 1. Welcome to the Hustle.
Today's administrative lecture: Drugs and alcohol abuse in the legal profession. In summary, Law students drink a lot. If you start missing class because of it, you're probably an alcoholic, and you need to go this program. Lovely.
Student ID's are handed out, and yay, I don't look completely moronic. Also we are assigned "mentors"--Mine is unreachable. Hmmmm. Kinda like my professor. I breathe though, cause remember I'm section 3 where we "do" things that keep us busy....That over, home I go, as I'd only be pretending I had friends at this point.
Learning from the night before, I decide to fight the urge to sleep, and brief my case until 1:30 AM'ish.
Day 5:
6am, and forget the suit, I'm wearing jeans today and throwing on my Sorority para. Where I'm from, I'm definitely in "business casual." (Some will and will not get how funny this statement actually is. No worries.)
Arriving again two hours prior to class, with two students still before me, I claim my seat. As I've done all my homework, I venture to roam about.
I pillage the lockers, and behold one has finally been assigned to me. My newly given Boober Fragle is placed in my locker with a neon green alphabetical combination lock to guard my "acquired" contract book.
3 things here. 1.Boober Fraggle rocks. 2. Have you ever seen an alphabetical lock.??? Neither had I until yesterday. Admittedly I'm overly excited about this technology; but they are totally awesome! and 3. Let me explain something PHENOMENAL about my school. --Like most (and all ABA) law schools, we are graded on a curve. Meaning, life is extremely completive. Or at least it could be. BUT. I am going to the Mecca of all things good, and when you "hustle," upperclassmen are more than willing to help a young sister out.
Meaning. In a box, in the locker rooms, upper class man, rather than "sell back" their 1L textbooks, instead opt to "donate" them to us poor 1Ls. Yeah, I jumped all over that.
PLUS. at the Capstone, each 1L is designated a "mentor" to look out for them. Someone in their section, who presumably can guide you through this crazy and strange island of weirdness called life as a 1L.
Now, today is a good day. Today I found my mentor. Or rather, one of the upperclassmen, I've been bugging for a legal writing book, knew who my mentor was and described her to me. Sure enough, she was pretty easy to pick out, especially given I waited outside of her classroom after our lovely administrative lecture. (Today's topic, Security on Campus. Summary: they have guns, and um....don't be an idiot and leave your laptop around. It will get stolen. How do law students get through these three years, without this guidance???)
Topic???? Awe yes, I was stalking my mentor. Sure did. Went right up to her, and made introductions. Everything I expected? Not at all, Everything I could want?
Well, depends?
Is she giving me her books? -Yupp.
Is she on Law Journal?--Yupp.
Is she well connected?-Yupp
Top 25 in her class? Yupp, oh and she is considered the best in her class for legal writing.
In sum. Yeah I'm happy.
After stalking said mentor, not wanting to stay in the library, I choose to sit outside. Not a minute passes, when a guy (who's t-shirt is making me read) ask me, "What chapter?"....So begins the discussion of Greek life, past college what-nots, etc. We move from past to present, and as he has a girlfriend he has mentioned twice I need not worry he is making small talk for my number. In actuality, this guy just turns out to be genuinely nice. An hour passes without me noticing, and we're into study guides and outlines, when his friend walks up. We make chit chat, and I'm realizing I need to catch the metro home. I hand out business cards, and both are impressed. I'm offered advice or study guides should I ever need them, and am walking home feeling pretty good.
I read most of my case again on the bus, and honestly too tired to do anything, I want my bed more than any girl wants the French teacher.
Good night little universe.
Day 3:
My professor is French, speaks with a French accent, and admittedly every girl in the entire law school is willing to ruin their ABA bar application for a chance of one steamy romantically fantasized night with him. Me....Lol, Actually I'll pass.
I sit on the right side of the classroom, and he speaks to the left. I'm definitely changing seats.
Today's dominative required seminar to attend. Hey girls listen up: Sexual harassment. Haha. Faculty and students relationships are strictly prohibited (even if they are legal).
Stay at library, attempt to do reading. Bleh. I'm bored. Home-sleep.
Day 4:
Wake up extremely early because I have not completed my reading. Catch Metro two hours early, and show up to class--again, two hours early.
I am obviously not the only one with seat change and the assignment on my mind, as two students are already present with books open.
Today, I sit to the left. Go figure, seating chart does not go out until tomorrow. Quiz. Yes, if you have been paying attention I am technically attending "Class #2" at this point, meaning I am now being tested on material from Day 1. Welcome to the Hustle.
Today's administrative lecture: Drugs and alcohol abuse in the legal profession. In summary, Law students drink a lot. If you start missing class because of it, you're probably an alcoholic, and you need to go this program. Lovely.
Student ID's are handed out, and yay, I don't look completely moronic. Also we are assigned "mentors"--Mine is unreachable. Hmmmm. Kinda like my professor. I breathe though, cause remember I'm section 3 where we "do" things that keep us busy....That over, home I go, as I'd only be pretending I had friends at this point.
Learning from the night before, I decide to fight the urge to sleep, and brief my case until 1:30 AM'ish.
Day 5:
6am, and forget the suit, I'm wearing jeans today and throwing on my Sorority para. Where I'm from, I'm definitely in "business casual." (Some will and will not get how funny this statement actually is. No worries.)
Arriving again two hours prior to class, with two students still before me, I claim my seat. As I've done all my homework, I venture to roam about.
I pillage the lockers, and behold one has finally been assigned to me. My newly given Boober Fragle is placed in my locker with a neon green alphabetical combination lock to guard my "acquired" contract book.
3 things here. 1.Boober Fraggle rocks. 2. Have you ever seen an alphabetical lock.??? Neither had I until yesterday. Admittedly I'm overly excited about this technology; but they are totally awesome! and 3. Let me explain something PHENOMENAL about my school. --Like most (and all ABA) law schools, we are graded on a curve. Meaning, life is extremely completive. Or at least it could be. BUT. I am going to the Mecca of all things good, and when you "hustle," upperclassmen are more than willing to help a young sister out.
Meaning. In a box, in the locker rooms, upper class man, rather than "sell back" their 1L textbooks, instead opt to "donate" them to us poor 1Ls. Yeah, I jumped all over that.
PLUS. at the Capstone, each 1L is designated a "mentor" to look out for them. Someone in their section, who presumably can guide you through this crazy and strange island of weirdness called life as a 1L.
Now, today is a good day. Today I found my mentor. Or rather, one of the upperclassmen, I've been bugging for a legal writing book, knew who my mentor was and described her to me. Sure enough, she was pretty easy to pick out, especially given I waited outside of her classroom after our lovely administrative lecture. (Today's topic, Security on Campus. Summary: they have guns, and um....don't be an idiot and leave your laptop around. It will get stolen. How do law students get through these three years, without this guidance???)
Topic???? Awe yes, I was stalking my mentor. Sure did. Went right up to her, and made introductions. Everything I expected? Not at all, Everything I could want?
Well, depends?
Is she giving me her books? -Yupp.
Is she on Law Journal?--Yupp.
Is she well connected?-Yupp
Top 25 in her class? Yupp, oh and she is considered the best in her class for legal writing.
In sum. Yeah I'm happy.
After stalking said mentor, not wanting to stay in the library, I choose to sit outside. Not a minute passes, when a guy (who's t-shirt is making me read) ask me, "What chapter?"....So begins the discussion of Greek life, past college what-nots, etc. We move from past to present, and as he has a girlfriend he has mentioned twice I need not worry he is making small talk for my number. In actuality, this guy just turns out to be genuinely nice. An hour passes without me noticing, and we're into study guides and outlines, when his friend walks up. We make chit chat, and I'm realizing I need to catch the metro home. I hand out business cards, and both are impressed. I'm offered advice or study guides should I ever need them, and am walking home feeling pretty good.
I read most of my case again on the bus, and honestly too tired to do anything, I want my bed more than any girl wants the French teacher.
Good night little universe.
Life as a 1L
I wake up, and realize the importance of showering the night before.
Exhausted, I successfully get on the correct metro rail going the wrong
direction. Having the familiar dread of not recognizing anything from
the day before, I hop off and proceed to get going in the "right
direction."
Learning from yesterday, I get off the metro and walk the right direction to the campus, but turn on the wrong street. --How did they let me into this prestigious campus, I wonder. I can't even get there!!!
The morning begins like the day before, except today I acknowledge with no malice or regret, that I am not liked. I sit alone to eat breakfast, and do so rather successfully, until joined by other 1L's are forced to fill the empty seats. Everyone is overly nice, and nothing is genuine. The herding begins, and I am tempted to scream "Mooooo!" as all 150 something of us try to climb stairs.
We are again placed in our "groups." In our groups we are herded to the bookstore, to the main campus, to the chapel, to our mail boxes. nothing is assigned to us yet. The friendly faces I meet and see are not in my group, and of course, not in my section. We are about to dismissed at noon to another group leader, who is kind enough to see our group leaders exhaustion, and volunteers to take us to our lockers (which are not assigned yet), when he mentions he is an upperclassmen from Section 3.
Like sharks to blood, the group begins the interrogation. Who are our teachers? how are the exams? Where is our homework?
Clearly, scared for us, he takes us directly to our professor. Our professor, explains, that our homework is to read the syllabus, and the syllabus can be found on the password protected website.
"But we weren't assigned our passwords yet?" Grade Grubber declares.
"It was my understanding that you would receive those today." the professor states with an undertone that clearly states "not my problem."
The upperclassman catches the hint, and thanks him for his time. Clearly seeing the lot of us down casted, the professor calls after our group,
"I'll put hard copies on this table after 4pm."
Smiles, and thanks from the group are issued.
After lockers we are dismissed until 1:30 when we are to get our passwords
It is not even 1pm. The pinning ceremony is at 6pm. Almost everyone home except for a choice number of Section 3 students, as we are depending on our passwords.
Making my way to the student lounge I see a speaker from yesterday talking to a handful of my colleagues. I join the circle wondering what the upperclassmen might be conveying. She sees me, and instantly introduces herself.
I know her name. She is Ms. Everything. She's top of her class, and head of law review. She sits on every group I want on, and to boot, she's pretty damn hot. I saw her yesterday, and knew, this is a girl I want to know...Even better, this is a girl I want to become.
I introduce myself, and she restates that she had just joined the group wanting to know if we "1L's" might have any questions.
The infamous question is asked. "What section are you?"
"Section 3," says Ms. Everything. "What sections are you?"
--The table is 8 and her, and 4 of us are Section 3.
"We're mostly section 3....."(I gather courage, knowing this is a golden opportunity
"You're only the second Section 3 upperclassman, we've been given the opportunity to speak with."
"Really? Oh, I'm so sorry?! Thats my fault." Ms. Everything says, sincerely. Seeing our confusion she explains. It's a good thing. Section 3 dominates the review. The review. The prestigious review. The review that everyone wants, but few are selected to be on. Section 3 dominates. Suddenly I'm overwhelmed with relief. The review is in meetings all week prior to school beginning. Ms. Everything continues to dish. We learn the insight on our teachers, who are the best. We learn what our exams will be like, which are fair. We learn no one forgot Section 3, they just got busy being their excellent selves.
It's 1:45 and time to get our passwords. As everyone leaves, Ms. Everything see's me holding back and stops to ask if I have any more questions. Knowing her weight in the organizations I wish to join, I suddenly become as eager as the Grade Grubber. How can I join this club and that? What are her recommendations? I try ever so delicately to mention I want to be on the review, and how might I do so?
Ms. Everything walks me to my classroom with my answers. Study, get good grades, and no worries, they'd be in touch.
Passwords are given, and it is 2pm. Truly almost everyone now goes home.
I am the commuter. Not living in the city I have packed lunch and have worn business attire for the evening. I have packed flashcards to study, and begin my lonely existence as theother students venture out for lunch or home.
After a peanut butter and diet cola kinda lunch, I roam the halls. In an effort to be productive, I head to the computer lab to register and get my homework downloaded.
Not surprisingly Grade Grubber is there with what seems her own study group already formed.
What-ever....I print and bail. and make my ways out doors. Calling this person and that, I tie up some student loans, and am feeling accomplished. A little before 4, I feel someone tap my shoulder. A friend from conference has just flown in. He has missed the entire orientation. Knowing he's in need, I do a quick tour. We fly through this hall and that, and I help him get registered. After scolding my friend, the Dean of Student Affairs shakes my hand and tells me I've done good by looking after my classmate. I say I'm happy to do so, and mean it. He's happy I'm his friend and even though he's Section 1, I'm suddenly not feeling so lonely.
He neeeds to run to change into his suit for the ceremony and I'm left again in the student lounge.
In the student lounge, I meet an alumni who has decided to take work off early to join us. We exchange maybe two words, and he pins me for a 1L instantly. He ask my schedule, and is instantly giving me advice. A recent grad, he knows the game. Seeing a willing mentee, he graciously teaches me some of the rules. After an hour and a half flies by, I'm suddenly aware I need to be learning my alma mater with the other 1L's that are filing in past us. We exchange cards, and I succumb to being herded once more into mass.
We are in suits, and I'm hot. I haven't done my make up or changed my shoes, and am suddenly aware, that I've been networking for the past 4 hours.
We are herded outside to wonderful speakers and are led in a wonderful ceremony. We are lined up, and are holding our pins. Our instructions are that alumni will approach us and should we want them to pin us, we are to give them are pins. If we want a particuliar alumni to pin us, we are to hold on to our pins.
Two gracious alumni move to pin me, and I graciously reserve my pin. Ms. Everything is taking pictures, see's me and smiles,
"Have you been pinned, ?"
I explain, I'm waiting and she nods a knowing smile, while secretly inside I'm jumping up and down that she knows my name, let alone was willing to pin me.
Not waiting any longer, I march to thecenter of the aisle and tap on the dean of admissions shoulder.
Turning around he smiled and said,
"There you are, I was looking for you."
I hand him my pin saying "Its been a long journey getting here" knowing he is aware of my admissions packet and story.....
I'm being pinned, its real.
***
Skipping the reception, I recite the pledge into my mom's answering machine. I'm crying.
"I am at the Capstone, the Mecca, I am Home."
Learning from yesterday, I get off the metro and walk the right direction to the campus, but turn on the wrong street. --How did they let me into this prestigious campus, I wonder. I can't even get there!!!
The morning begins like the day before, except today I acknowledge with no malice or regret, that I am not liked. I sit alone to eat breakfast, and do so rather successfully, until joined by other 1L's are forced to fill the empty seats. Everyone is overly nice, and nothing is genuine. The herding begins, and I am tempted to scream "Mooooo!" as all 150 something of us try to climb stairs.
We are again placed in our "groups." In our groups we are herded to the bookstore, to the main campus, to the chapel, to our mail boxes. nothing is assigned to us yet. The friendly faces I meet and see are not in my group, and of course, not in my section. We are about to dismissed at noon to another group leader, who is kind enough to see our group leaders exhaustion, and volunteers to take us to our lockers (which are not assigned yet), when he mentions he is an upperclassmen from Section 3.
Like sharks to blood, the group begins the interrogation. Who are our teachers? how are the exams? Where is our homework?
Clearly, scared for us, he takes us directly to our professor. Our professor, explains, that our homework is to read the syllabus, and the syllabus can be found on the password protected website.
"But we weren't assigned our passwords yet?" Grade Grubber declares.
"It was my understanding that you would receive those today." the professor states with an undertone that clearly states "not my problem."
The upperclassman catches the hint, and thanks him for his time. Clearly seeing the lot of us down casted, the professor calls after our group,
"I'll put hard copies on this table after 4pm."
Smiles, and thanks from the group are issued.
After lockers we are dismissed until 1:30 when we are to get our passwords
It is not even 1pm. The pinning ceremony is at 6pm. Almost everyone home except for a choice number of Section 3 students, as we are depending on our passwords.
Making my way to the student lounge I see a speaker from yesterday talking to a handful of my colleagues. I join the circle wondering what the upperclassmen might be conveying. She sees me, and instantly introduces herself.
I know her name. She is Ms. Everything. She's top of her class, and head of law review. She sits on every group I want on, and to boot, she's pretty damn hot. I saw her yesterday, and knew, this is a girl I want to know...Even better, this is a girl I want to become.
I introduce myself, and she restates that she had just joined the group wanting to know if we "1L's" might have any questions.
The infamous question is asked. "What section are you?"
"Section 3," says Ms. Everything. "What sections are you?"
--The table is 8 and her, and 4 of us are Section 3.
"We're mostly section 3....."(I gather courage, knowing this is a golden opportunity
"You're only the second Section 3 upperclassman, we've been given the opportunity to speak with."
"Really? Oh, I'm so sorry?! Thats my fault." Ms. Everything says, sincerely. Seeing our confusion she explains. It's a good thing. Section 3 dominates the review. The review. The prestigious review. The review that everyone wants, but few are selected to be on. Section 3 dominates. Suddenly I'm overwhelmed with relief. The review is in meetings all week prior to school beginning. Ms. Everything continues to dish. We learn the insight on our teachers, who are the best. We learn what our exams will be like, which are fair. We learn no one forgot Section 3, they just got busy being their excellent selves.
It's 1:45 and time to get our passwords. As everyone leaves, Ms. Everything see's me holding back and stops to ask if I have any more questions. Knowing her weight in the organizations I wish to join, I suddenly become as eager as the Grade Grubber. How can I join this club and that? What are her recommendations? I try ever so delicately to mention I want to be on the review, and how might I do so?
Ms. Everything walks me to my classroom with my answers. Study, get good grades, and no worries, they'd be in touch.
Passwords are given, and it is 2pm. Truly almost everyone now goes home.
I am the commuter. Not living in the city I have packed lunch and have worn business attire for the evening. I have packed flashcards to study, and begin my lonely existence as theother students venture out for lunch or home.
After a peanut butter and diet cola kinda lunch, I roam the halls. In an effort to be productive, I head to the computer lab to register and get my homework downloaded.
Not surprisingly Grade Grubber is there with what seems her own study group already formed.
What-ever....I print and bail. and make my ways out doors. Calling this person and that, I tie up some student loans, and am feeling accomplished. A little before 4, I feel someone tap my shoulder. A friend from conference has just flown in. He has missed the entire orientation. Knowing he's in need, I do a quick tour. We fly through this hall and that, and I help him get registered. After scolding my friend, the Dean of Student Affairs shakes my hand and tells me I've done good by looking after my classmate. I say I'm happy to do so, and mean it. He's happy I'm his friend and even though he's Section 1, I'm suddenly not feeling so lonely.
He neeeds to run to change into his suit for the ceremony and I'm left again in the student lounge.
In the student lounge, I meet an alumni who has decided to take work off early to join us. We exchange maybe two words, and he pins me for a 1L instantly. He ask my schedule, and is instantly giving me advice. A recent grad, he knows the game. Seeing a willing mentee, he graciously teaches me some of the rules. After an hour and a half flies by, I'm suddenly aware I need to be learning my alma mater with the other 1L's that are filing in past us. We exchange cards, and I succumb to being herded once more into mass.
We are in suits, and I'm hot. I haven't done my make up or changed my shoes, and am suddenly aware, that I've been networking for the past 4 hours.
We are herded outside to wonderful speakers and are led in a wonderful ceremony. We are lined up, and are holding our pins. Our instructions are that alumni will approach us and should we want them to pin us, we are to give them are pins. If we want a particuliar alumni to pin us, we are to hold on to our pins.
Two gracious alumni move to pin me, and I graciously reserve my pin. Ms. Everything is taking pictures, see's me and smiles,
"Have you been pinned, ?"
I explain, I'm waiting and she nods a knowing smile, while secretly inside I'm jumping up and down that she knows my name, let alone was willing to pin me.
Not waiting any longer, I march to thecenter of the aisle and tap on the dean of admissions shoulder.
Turning around he smiled and said,
"There you are, I was looking for you."
I hand him my pin saying "Its been a long journey getting here" knowing he is aware of my admissions packet and story.....
I'm being pinned, its real.
***
Skipping the reception, I recite the pledge into my mom's answering machine. I'm crying.
"I am at the Capstone, the Mecca, I am Home."
Life as a 1L
With an amazingly early start, I begin my morning. I'm on the metro rail, that I've learned and am suddenly nauseous. After taking some Dramamine, I tell myself to calm the hell down, and I make my way to the surface. Now after a catching two metro rails, I find myself suddenly in day light and lost. While I know my school is only supposed to be two blocks down from the metro stop, I'm suddenly not seeing anything familiar.
I've marched two blocks in the opposite direction. With little time lost, but my pride sorely bruised, I begin the four blocks to campus.
I arrive, and can't help but take a snapshot on my camera phone of the banner. Wanting to remember the moment always. Today is my day, I say.
I walk through the doors and am instantly greeted by the nice to meet you's of my fellow underclassmen. To my great relief, I hear my name called almost instantly. A fellow 1L from my summer conference recognizes me, and calls me over to her already assembled group.
After making my hello's, we are herded to breakfast by the red-shirted upperclassman. So begins the day.
By the end of breakfast I am realizing I have been somehow pushed to the outskirts of the "group."
Rather than try to be "in", I decide to opt "out" and join another sole 1L at the adjoining table. We make chit-chat, until herded again to our classrooms.
Here is where I make the social faux pa. I abandon my "safe group" to venture to the front of the class. Not the front row, mind you, but the third row, center aisle.
I want to see and hear, and lets face it, I've read the statistics about kids who sit in the back, and I'm not about to start slacking on the first day.
Notebooks are out. And speach after speach is issued.
We are told the following: "You are aproximately 1000 days from the bar."
We are told of tradition and legacy. We are told about ethics. We are given lunch. We are taken to every damn room in the entire campus. But most importantly, we are given our sections.
Now our sections are in essence what will define our scholastic experience for the following three years. If you are a Harry Potter fan, quite simply our sections are our "houses". While there is no sorting hat, there is a piece of paper which we are given, marking the appropriate Section each person is supposedly "randomly" selected for.
Here is where it gets interesting. Like the Gryffindor House, Section 1: Seems to be about performance. Section 2: Ravenclaw, valuing scholastics and attendance. Or at least if I could make a correlation thats what I'd guess....There are 3 Sections.
Now here's the fun part. I'm in Section 3. So is most of the group I've been seperated into the morning with ("by random").....Has anyone had Section 3??? we ask upperclassman. No one can fill us in. The worst part, I'm not really sure I'm liking the people in my section. One person has already made known her "connections" and is clearly that "top 3%" grade grubber I know I'm going to learn to hate, and another I am questioning his motives to even be in law school, as I'm pretty sure he's "on something" other than the severly bad coffee we were given.
The day ends with Section 2 being given their first homework assignment, and Section 1 being told they will have theirs given in the morning. Section 3 is told...."we are trying to track down your teacher..."
This is not boding well I think. After 10 hours we are released. I go home. Without eating, I set my alarm, and fall into bed without undressing. I sleep like I've never slept before.
I've marched two blocks in the opposite direction. With little time lost, but my pride sorely bruised, I begin the four blocks to campus.
I arrive, and can't help but take a snapshot on my camera phone of the banner. Wanting to remember the moment always. Today is my day, I say.
I walk through the doors and am instantly greeted by the nice to meet you's of my fellow underclassmen. To my great relief, I hear my name called almost instantly. A fellow 1L from my summer conference recognizes me, and calls me over to her already assembled group.
After making my hello's, we are herded to breakfast by the red-shirted upperclassman. So begins the day.
By the end of breakfast I am realizing I have been somehow pushed to the outskirts of the "group."
Rather than try to be "in", I decide to opt "out" and join another sole 1L at the adjoining table. We make chit-chat, until herded again to our classrooms.
Here is where I make the social faux pa. I abandon my "safe group" to venture to the front of the class. Not the front row, mind you, but the third row, center aisle.
I want to see and hear, and lets face it, I've read the statistics about kids who sit in the back, and I'm not about to start slacking on the first day.
Notebooks are out. And speach after speach is issued.
We are told the following: "You are aproximately 1000 days from the bar."
We are told of tradition and legacy. We are told about ethics. We are given lunch. We are taken to every damn room in the entire campus. But most importantly, we are given our sections.
Now our sections are in essence what will define our scholastic experience for the following three years. If you are a Harry Potter fan, quite simply our sections are our "houses". While there is no sorting hat, there is a piece of paper which we are given, marking the appropriate Section each person is supposedly "randomly" selected for.
Here is where it gets interesting. Like the Gryffindor House, Section 1: Seems to be about performance. Section 2: Ravenclaw, valuing scholastics and attendance. Or at least if I could make a correlation thats what I'd guess....There are 3 Sections.
Now here's the fun part. I'm in Section 3. So is most of the group I've been seperated into the morning with ("by random").....Has anyone had Section 3??? we ask upperclassman. No one can fill us in. The worst part, I'm not really sure I'm liking the people in my section. One person has already made known her "connections" and is clearly that "top 3%" grade grubber I know I'm going to learn to hate, and another I am questioning his motives to even be in law school, as I'm pretty sure he's "on something" other than the severly bad coffee we were given.
The day ends with Section 2 being given their first homework assignment, and Section 1 being told they will have theirs given in the morning. Section 3 is told...."we are trying to track down your teacher..."
This is not boding well I think. After 10 hours we are released. I go home. Without eating, I set my alarm, and fall into bed without undressing. I sleep like I've never slept before.
In a moment of weakness
Today was my birthday.
For some I'm still a child, slowly growing up, for others (as I was reminded rudely by my younger cousin), I'm getting "old," (and just the way he said it almost made me believe it....)
But no matter, I stated this because, just the act of the "birthday" shows a lot.
The calls from loved ones, that in fact, Love you, and call just to wish you well on that "special day," that is seemingly all yours. The text messages, or online comments, that say, hey, happy b-day, added that wow to my existence, that wow to my day, and that reminding wow that people do in fact care. And....in a small selfish way, wow, they care about me.
Now, I did not go out. There was no party. In fact there was no cake, and truth be told I was at home all day alone. At one point I received a call from one of my very BESTEST friends....he said nothing. Well, actually he talked a lot. He talked about him, and his girl, and his family, and how his girlfriend affected him and his family, and well the mathematical combinations were all there revolving around the three topics. My friend, whom I was all excited to be acknowledged by, called in fact, to tell me about him--his problems, and his life....Anyways, being the kinda person I am, I said nothing. Well I said some things; mostly, I listened. I sympathized, hopefully I helped, but never once did I say anything about me, or remind him of the date....I simply hung up, and smiled; loving him, because he called me, and thats what makes us, "us."
***Rest assured, he won't read this, and so this is no hidden guilt trip, but I found it humorous the significance one day or even moment has for one person, is meaningless to another. I mean each day is some person's birthday....
(Which if you haven't read the book by now, do so,"How I Paid for College. A Novel of Sex, Theft, Friendship & Musical Theater," by Marc Acito. When you read you'll understand the link I just made.)
There's a lot of people in this world, a lot of special moments. Admittedly, I let mine pass today. But, dear someone, don't fret, I did so in a moment of weakness that I will not surrender tomorrow.
As per my title, in a moment of weakness, I'm too scared about tomorrow to perhaps enjoy today.
Today, I re-arranged my closet, picked out the most sensible out fit I could, being flats, pants, and a stiped top that makes me look pretty hot. I checked and re-checked my metro pass was in my back pack, checked my backpack, and even as we speak am looking at my backpack knowing I didn't pack something in that 10lb atrocity.I in essence, effectively spent a lot of time doing a lot of nothing.
Tomorrows I begin what many would say the rest of my life. Tomorrow I officially go to law school. I'm nervous. I'm excited.For the first time in my life I'm scarred as hell.
I've gone to seminars, I've read books, hell I bought some flash cards just to get a leg up. I've visited the campus, know my metro route cold, and I'd say I feel like a kid going to first grade, if I could remember what that feeling was like.
I don't feel ready, and yet know there's not enough reading or prep in the world that may prepare me for tomorrow. But its coming. the hours are ticking away, and its coming like hide-and-go-seek on a summer day, ready-or-not.
*Smile*
I've noticed a lot more readers. To say the least, hiyeee (another Acito reference). I never thought this would reach any one outside those friends of mine whom I bugged years ago to read and never did and still don't. But I thank each and every one of you all for reading, commenting, and expanding my "little universe."
While I don't pretend to offer any insight or knowledge on the Human Condition, I'm thrilled that anyone cares. ~.~
Happy Birthday little universe.
For some I'm still a child, slowly growing up, for others (as I was reminded rudely by my younger cousin), I'm getting "old," (and just the way he said it almost made me believe it....)
But no matter, I stated this because, just the act of the "birthday" shows a lot.
The calls from loved ones, that in fact, Love you, and call just to wish you well on that "special day," that is seemingly all yours. The text messages, or online comments, that say, hey, happy b-day, added that wow to my existence, that wow to my day, and that reminding wow that people do in fact care. And....in a small selfish way, wow, they care about me.
Now, I did not go out. There was no party. In fact there was no cake, and truth be told I was at home all day alone. At one point I received a call from one of my very BESTEST friends....he said nothing. Well, actually he talked a lot. He talked about him, and his girl, and his family, and how his girlfriend affected him and his family, and well the mathematical combinations were all there revolving around the three topics. My friend, whom I was all excited to be acknowledged by, called in fact, to tell me about him--his problems, and his life....Anyways, being the kinda person I am, I said nothing. Well I said some things; mostly, I listened. I sympathized, hopefully I helped, but never once did I say anything about me, or remind him of the date....I simply hung up, and smiled; loving him, because he called me, and thats what makes us, "us."
***Rest assured, he won't read this, and so this is no hidden guilt trip, but I found it humorous the significance one day or even moment has for one person, is meaningless to another. I mean each day is some person's birthday....
(Which if you haven't read the book by now, do so,"How I Paid for College. A Novel of Sex, Theft, Friendship & Musical Theater," by Marc Acito. When you read you'll understand the link I just made.)
There's a lot of people in this world, a lot of special moments. Admittedly, I let mine pass today. But, dear someone, don't fret, I did so in a moment of weakness that I will not surrender tomorrow.
As per my title, in a moment of weakness, I'm too scared about tomorrow to perhaps enjoy today.
Today, I re-arranged my closet, picked out the most sensible out fit I could, being flats, pants, and a stiped top that makes me look pretty hot. I checked and re-checked my metro pass was in my back pack, checked my backpack, and even as we speak am looking at my backpack knowing I didn't pack something in that 10lb atrocity.I in essence, effectively spent a lot of time doing a lot of nothing.
Tomorrows I begin what many would say the rest of my life. Tomorrow I officially go to law school. I'm nervous. I'm excited.For the first time in my life I'm scarred as hell.
I've gone to seminars, I've read books, hell I bought some flash cards just to get a leg up. I've visited the campus, know my metro route cold, and I'd say I feel like a kid going to first grade, if I could remember what that feeling was like.
I don't feel ready, and yet know there's not enough reading or prep in the world that may prepare me for tomorrow. But its coming. the hours are ticking away, and its coming like hide-and-go-seek on a summer day, ready-or-not.
*Smile*
I've noticed a lot more readers. To say the least, hiyeee (another Acito reference). I never thought this would reach any one outside those friends of mine whom I bugged years ago to read and never did and still don't. But I thank each and every one of you all for reading, commenting, and expanding my "little universe."
While I don't pretend to offer any insight or knowledge on the Human Condition, I'm thrilled that anyone cares. ~.~
Happy Birthday little universe.
If Life was a book....
Immediately below or in time reference (before) this entry is my disclaimer to my journal. In addition and for humor I advise you to see: the standard disclaimer by B. Long at http://www.fiction.net/std.disclaimer.html. or perhaps http://myweb.accessus.net/~090/univdisc.html compiled by Anthony W. Haukap or http://neptune.spacebears.com/disclaim.html
For Torts purposes, however and again, as I enter the profession of law, I feel it very wise to have such a disclaimer.
Why? Well because each day, I am fortunate enough to gain an insight on liablitlity and risk. That alone is cause for concern.
Further, if life was a book, I feel mine would very much be referenced by many of these pages, and should I ever choose to publish, I feel damn well entitled to protect my thousands from a best seller.
To continue, I am coming close to writing A LOT on here and basically should cover my butt.
To be continued...
For Torts purposes, however and again, as I enter the profession of law, I feel it very wise to have such a disclaimer.
Why? Well because each day, I am fortunate enough to gain an insight on liablitlity and risk. That alone is cause for concern.
Further, if life was a book, I feel mine would very much be referenced by many of these pages, and should I ever choose to publish, I feel damn well entitled to protect my thousands from a best seller.
To continue, I am coming close to writing A LOT on here and basically should cover my butt.
To be continued...
The Disclaimer....
Going into my profession, I thought I should reiterate:
***
Web Journal disclaimer
(1) Introduction
This disclaimer governs your use of Letters to no one (www.journals.aol.com/lilzuby/letterstonone.com) and all postings thereof hereinafter in relation to this discaimer will be reffered to as "web journal"; by continuing to read, you accept this disclaimer in full. If you disagree with any part of this disclaimer, do not read, browse or otherwise use my web journal. Your use and browsing of my journal is at your risk.
The
opinions expressed on web journal are my own, and do not necessarily
reflect the opinions or views of my company, university, or any other
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Fraggle Rock Wisdom
1. Here to There
Performed by: Wembley
I'm always here.
I'm never there.
I'm never, ever anywhere.
Excepting here, 'cause here is where I'm in.
But when I go from here to there,
My here comes with me everywhere,
'Till there is here, and here is where I've been.
Cleaning out my Inbox
Let It Go
There are people who can walk away from you.
And hear me when I tell you this! When people can
walk away from you: let them walk.
I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with
you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming
to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone.
When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny
is never tied to anybody that left.
People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they
are not joined to you, you can't make them stay.
Let them go.
And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person it just means
that their part in the story is over
And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over
so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead.
You've got to know when it's dead.
You've got to know when it's over. Let me tell you something.
I've got the gift of good-bye. It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe
in good-bye.
It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know
whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me. And if it takes
too much sweat I don't need it. Stop begging people to stay.
Let them go!!
If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you
and was never intended for your life, then you need to......
LET IT GO!!!
If you are holding on to past hurts and pains ......
LET IT GO!!!
If someone can't treat you right, love you
back, and see your worth.....
LET IT GO!!!
If someone has angered you ........
LET IT GO!!!
If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge......
LET IT GO!!!
If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction.....
LET IT GO!!!
If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs
or talents
LET IT GO!!!
If you have a bad attitude.......
LET IT GO!!!
If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better......
LET IT GO!!!
If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a
new level in Him......
LET IT GO!!!
If you are struggling with the healing of a broken
relationship....................
LET IT GO!!!
If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help
themselves.....
LET IT GO!!!
If you're feeling depressed and stressed .........
LET IT GO!!!
If there is a particular situation that you are so used to
handling yourself and God is saying "take your hands of f of it," then
you need to......
LET IT GO!!!
Let the past be the past. Forget the former things. GOD is doing
a new thing for 2007!!!
LET IT GO!!!
Get Right or Get Left .. think about it, and then .
LET IT GO!!!
There are people who can walk away from you.
And hear me when I tell you this! When people can
walk away from you: let them walk.
I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with
you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming
to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone.
When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny
is never tied to anybody that left.
People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they
are not joined to you, you can't make them stay.
Let them go.
And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person it just means
that their part in the story is over
And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over
so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead.
You've got to know when it's dead.
You've got to know when it's over. Let me tell you something.
I've got the gift of good-bye. It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe
in good-bye.
It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know
whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me. And if it takes
too much sweat I don't need it. Stop begging people to stay.
Let them go!!
If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you
and was never intended for your life, then you need to......
LET IT GO!!!
If you are holding on to past hurts and pains ......
LET IT GO!!!
If someone can't treat you right, love you
back, and see your worth.....
LET IT GO!!!
If someone has angered you ........
LET IT GO!!!
If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge......
LET IT GO!!!
If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction.....
LET IT GO!!!
If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs
or talents
LET IT GO!!!
If you have a bad attitude.......
LET IT GO!!!
If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better......
LET IT GO!!!
If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a
new level in Him......
LET IT GO!!!
If you are struggling with the healing of a broken
relationship....................
LET IT GO!!!
If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help
themselves.....
LET IT GO!!!
If you're feeling depressed and stressed .........
LET IT GO!!!
If there is a particular situation that you are so used to
handling yourself and God is saying "take your hands of f of it," then
you need to......
LET IT GO!!!
Let the past be the past. Forget the former things. GOD is doing
a new thing for 2007!!!
LET IT GO!!!
Get Right or Get Left .. think about it, and then .
LET IT GO!!!
Today
Today I went on search for a record player. I have seen vinyl tossed by the way-side, and know there is someone who understands. Somewhere in the lyrics of yesterday, or the beat of once more, I'll feel the same. So I'll rescue myself and time not yet forgotten and in a Corrine Bailey Fashion aim to put some records on.
Well,....I guess its just like writing letters with addresses. It just feels so much better than writing letters to no one.
Speaking of which, I wrote this wonderful letter to someone describing my "quaint little town." --Admittedly, that sounds completely arrogant, both of my town, and writing ability, but I thought it was damn good. One of those descriptions I would have liked to have shared with more than one person, but a description-I suppose--that was drawn out by that sole person.
I mean isn't that special. When one person gets you to convey just what you want, when you want. Maybe it isn't just one person that is able to do that, but maybe you can only say these "special things" to that special person.
I'll admit, that person has changed in my life. Sometimes it is my Marine who is my best friend of ten years. Sometimes its my "favorite" sister, who despite being ten years younger, allows her essence to fill me up so much, I am recharged and am able to "find me".
(Side note: In my sisters mirror, *written on the mirror, in blue paint*, are the words:
"Don't talk to Strangers....
They only lead to Danger"
I don't know why it made as much sense as it did, but they're ya go.....)
I missing a lot of those people lately. Some more than they probably care to read.
Someone recently wrote sometimes we miss people for strange reasons....I have to agree. But the reasons aren't so strange are they. Sometimes those people are "it." Whether they know it or not, they're "it" to someone, or rather that "Someone" is "it."
--I suppose it's easier with postcards to remind us, but I guess thats what started this entry...
Would the world between us break these ties?
We've worked so hard to realize,
Could a postcard say what I see in your eyes?
Could I ever break away?
Silly, John, its never wanting to break away thats the hard part. But I guess that's in the lyrics I haven't posted, and the postcards I keep sending.
Besitos Universe.
Well,....I guess its just like writing letters with addresses. It just feels so much better than writing letters to no one.
Speaking of which, I wrote this wonderful letter to someone describing my "quaint little town." --Admittedly, that sounds completely arrogant, both of my town, and writing ability, but I thought it was damn good. One of those descriptions I would have liked to have shared with more than one person, but a description-I suppose--that was drawn out by that sole person.
I mean isn't that special. When one person gets you to convey just what you want, when you want. Maybe it isn't just one person that is able to do that, but maybe you can only say these "special things" to that special person.
I'll admit, that person has changed in my life. Sometimes it is my Marine who is my best friend of ten years. Sometimes its my "favorite" sister, who despite being ten years younger, allows her essence to fill me up so much, I am recharged and am able to "find me".
(Side note: In my sisters mirror, *written on the mirror, in blue paint*, are the words:
"Don't talk to Strangers....
They only lead to Danger"
I don't know why it made as much sense as it did, but they're ya go.....)
I missing a lot of those people lately. Some more than they probably care to read.
Someone recently wrote sometimes we miss people for strange reasons....I have to agree. But the reasons aren't so strange are they. Sometimes those people are "it." Whether they know it or not, they're "it" to someone, or rather that "Someone" is "it."
--I suppose it's easier with postcards to remind us, but I guess thats what started this entry...
Would the world between us break these ties?
We've worked so hard to realize,
Could a postcard say what I see in your eyes?
Could I ever break away?
Silly, John, its never wanting to break away thats the hard part. But I guess that's in the lyrics I haven't posted, and the postcards I keep sending.
Besitos Universe.
Mitakuye Oyasin
inadvertent negligence. Negligence in which the actor is not aware of the unreasonable risk that he or she is creating, but should have foreseen and avoided it. (Black's Law, 7th ed.)
In other words....I should have know better....But let us catch up....
Everything you do, or fail to do, has a consequence. For my best friend the Marine, he is learning this lesson in the hardest of ways. He is learning that every decision he makes affects the lives of those under his command. This surprisingly he learns from the safety of a classroom, and the structure of the Quantico, VA Officer Candidate School.
He is currently in his eighth week of training, and by the grace of the universe, was able to see me this last weekend. He is bruised, and he is tired, but most of all he is AFFECTED. He has begun to evaluate his life in the way in which He is currently now being evaluated. He shares his life lessons with me.
"You are evaluated on results, not intentions."
(--Hmmm, funny, I'm sure mens rea and common law say otherwise...but let us forget that for now)
Currently, he has taken this philosophy to heart. Undoubtedly they "drill" this home, by reading the names of the Marines that have passed, since he first started his journey. To date, there are three.
They explain, these are the sons, husbands, fathers, friends, and loved ones, that HE may one day be responsible for.
My Marine takes these speeches to heart, and I am proud; and yes, too an extent I think the philosophy and scare tactic of this drill is in the right. Sometimes one person is placed in a position of responsibility. To know and own up to this responsibility--to knowingly go into a situation--where one mush shoulders these duties, is a heavy thing. I'm proud to say my Marine has some pretty broad shoulders.
What slaps me in the face about it all is how each action, or inaction, can be applied to every day life. My Marine states, in personal relationships, either the person saying they loves you shows you, proves it, every day, or they don't. By NOT acting, a choice has been made.
Which brings us to the law.
A personal tort, is a tort (civil wrong, which someone may be legally held accountable for) involving or consisting of an injury to one's person, reputation or feelings, as distinguished from an injury or damage to real or personal property.
A negligent tort....well, I'm sure you can figure it out....
Interestingly enough, in my snow globe of a universe this all fits together.
Days like today are filled with these personal torts, so to say. For instance sometimes what a person has said or failed to say causes injury to one's person, reputation, or feelings.
Not protecting one's reputation causes hurt.
Protecting one's reputation causes hurt.
Being dismissed in person, via phone, comment, or text message may hurt.
Now while the American public may not act (and I daresay is not permitted, Dei gratia) on this legal plunder for civil remedy, I daresay perhaps EVERY person may act just that much better if we were held accountable for all of our actions. I daresay, we would think twice if we always knew we EFFECTED.
Just when we think our letters truly are to no one, or that we are not heard, we are.
The comments from rdautumnsage proved that to me. Her thoughts while more focused than my own, relay the same message I'm learing today. -(http://journals.aol.com/rdautumnsage/ravens-lament/).
To her, and to you my little universe I say thank you, and Mitakuye Oyasin....we are all related.
Now, on another and yet more personal note, I suppose I should have known....
I leave you with an excerpted songs and a link tonight:
So take a step back
And a breath in
Let it out now
Put your chin up
You can do it tiger
You a man now
And in your dream it's time to do the best you can now
We bring ourselves down
And build ourselves up in disappointment
How fragile we are
So fragile we are, we just don't show it
We'll shake up this town
And shoot down the stars for our enjoyment
So sexy we are
So sexy we are, we just don't know it
(Gym Class Heroes, Shoot Down the Stars)
http://www.sethsbase.com/notwithstanding.htm
The whole album is good, but tonight I'll listen to "Just If I."
In other words....I should have know better....But let us catch up....
Everything you do, or fail to do, has a consequence. For my best friend the Marine, he is learning this lesson in the hardest of ways. He is learning that every decision he makes affects the lives of those under his command. This surprisingly he learns from the safety of a classroom, and the structure of the Quantico, VA Officer Candidate School.
He is currently in his eighth week of training, and by the grace of the universe, was able to see me this last weekend. He is bruised, and he is tired, but most of all he is AFFECTED. He has begun to evaluate his life in the way in which He is currently now being evaluated. He shares his life lessons with me.
"You are evaluated on results, not intentions."
(--Hmmm, funny, I'm sure mens rea and common law say otherwise...but let us forget that for now)
Currently, he has taken this philosophy to heart. Undoubtedly they "drill" this home, by reading the names of the Marines that have passed, since he first started his journey. To date, there are three.
They explain, these are the sons, husbands, fathers, friends, and loved ones, that HE may one day be responsible for.
My Marine takes these speeches to heart, and I am proud; and yes, too an extent I think the philosophy and scare tactic of this drill is in the right. Sometimes one person is placed in a position of responsibility. To know and own up to this responsibility--to knowingly go into a situation--where one mush shoulders these duties, is a heavy thing. I'm proud to say my Marine has some pretty broad shoulders.
What slaps me in the face about it all is how each action, or inaction, can be applied to every day life. My Marine states, in personal relationships, either the person saying they loves you shows you, proves it, every day, or they don't. By NOT acting, a choice has been made.
Which brings us to the law.
A personal tort, is a tort (civil wrong, which someone may be legally held accountable for) involving or consisting of an injury to one's person, reputation or feelings, as distinguished from an injury or damage to real or personal property.
A negligent tort....well, I'm sure you can figure it out....
Interestingly enough, in my snow globe of a universe this all fits together.
Days like today are filled with these personal torts, so to say. For instance sometimes what a person has said or failed to say causes injury to one's person, reputation, or feelings.
Not protecting one's reputation causes hurt.
Protecting one's reputation causes hurt.
Being dismissed in person, via phone, comment, or text message may hurt.
Now while the American public may not act (and I daresay is not permitted, Dei gratia) on this legal plunder for civil remedy, I daresay perhaps EVERY person may act just that much better if we were held accountable for all of our actions. I daresay, we would think twice if we always knew we EFFECTED.
Just when we think our letters truly are to no one, or that we are not heard, we are.
The comments from rdautumnsage proved that to me. Her thoughts while more focused than my own, relay the same message I'm learing today. -(http://journals.aol.com/rdautumnsage/ravens-lament/).
To her, and to you my little universe I say thank you, and Mitakuye Oyasin....we are all related.
Now, on another and yet more personal note, I suppose I should have known....
I leave you with an excerpted songs and a link tonight:
So take a step back
And a breath in
Let it out now
Put your chin up
You can do it tiger
You a man now
And in your dream it's time to do the best you can now
We bring ourselves down
And build ourselves up in disappointment
How fragile we are
So fragile we are, we just don't show it
We'll shake up this town
And shoot down the stars for our enjoyment
So sexy we are
So sexy we are, we just don't know it
(Gym Class Heroes, Shoot Down the Stars)
http://www.sethsbase.com/notwithstanding.htm
The whole album is good, but tonight I'll listen to "Just If I."
Daily Horoscope....
Leo: You continue to move forward with your life with great intent, but it's
wise to stop long enough to take stock of what you have accomplished.
Take the necessary time to analyze what you truly want and reevaluate
your plan to reflect your adjusted desires. Don't worry if joy seems
out of reach now. Do what you must while believing that the good times
will return.
Thursday, July 19, 2007How fitting....Today I go forth to buy a new laptop and Blacks Law Dictionary.
Cettori, torts, mens rea, res. The answer is D, and i'm right but wrong. I've overthought and feel over fed. I've over read and feel under-prepared.
Not even a moment to acknowledge, let alone tell someone how much they're missed. Yet reminded each night as I pass the gift shop that I need to pick up post card.
Not even a moment to acknowledge, let alone tell someone how much they're missed. Yet reminded each night as I pass the gift shop that I need to pick up post card.
Dear Universe, I've arrived in Eastern Standard Time. While not yet at my destination, my time -even two hours ahead- is still only just moments away. ~.~
I suppose Full Circle has a way of coming 'round.
Yesterday, while watching the save the planet special where Sting, Black Eyed Pea's, our favorite John Mayer, as well as countless other celebrities, kent their musical talents to end global warming, I questioned if the message got across.
As for my Sister and I, we've elected to start pulling our phone chargers from the wall whenever their not in use. A small step, but so what? That's 2 plus Kanye West!
Now here's how it comes full circle. We're at a grocery store and the clerk doesn't offer me a bag for my post cards i purchased.
Next, different store, we purchase a beverage chapstick and candy. Amazingly no bag was offered, no bag was taken!
I'm thinking it had to be the Pink Floyd number. But wait! The day is not done.
I begin my journey back to where I came, with one less car. (given to my mother to replace her gas guzzling Caddy. I will opt for the red line metro in my new life.)
Now, to get from here to there, i opted for the bus. On this bus, plays the movie, "Day After Tomorrow."
Now, i won't ruin it, but suffice it to say armagedon based on not listening to al gore.
While i might have easily slept through this, mother nature found it important that I pay attention, as my bus was blown side to side by a storm. If it wasn't enough to be tested by the elements, in the back of my mind I have realized I have completed my last will and advance health directives just last night.
Being that all my affairs are in order, and I have told all those persons I love goodbye, I now have the faint assurance I may die.
As my bus arrives at the mid point of todays travels, the rains begin to let up. The movie ends 30 minutes later with the main charectors as survivors.
Now here we are Full Circle.
I am an hour away from my destination, contemplating a future I may or may not have. Settling on removing my phone charger from the wall when not in use.
On a personal matter, I want it known that just because a person isn't in your will- or rather, isn't in My Will- doesn't mean they were not loved.
Rather, I hope it symbolized they were well loved in life; and no material possession possible could ever signify that. Well, that and I own crap.
Lol! Sorry, I didn't want to leave this world humorless. But really if you're reading this, you know you're loved.
Ps. I HAVE NO INTENTION ON DYING. well, not anytime soon. I mean in a Taoist way, why plan on the inevitably unknown?
Anyways, i'm on a bus, and i have a cramp in my legs. Further! Okay. If law school is like my homework, i'll be good. An hour and a half into my bus ride, and i've answered 13 of 19 questions. The other six i need an article to refer to. ~.~
So, there, I guess I'm not even letting fear push me around. ;)
Good night my little universe. Sweet dreams.
Yesterday, while watching the save the planet special where Sting, Black Eyed Pea's, our favorite John Mayer, as well as countless other celebrities, kent their musical talents to end global warming, I questioned if the message got across.
As for my Sister and I, we've elected to start pulling our phone chargers from the wall whenever their not in use. A small step, but so what? That's 2 plus Kanye West!
Now here's how it comes full circle. We're at a grocery store and the clerk doesn't offer me a bag for my post cards i purchased.
Next, different store, we purchase a beverage chapstick and candy. Amazingly no bag was offered, no bag was taken!
I'm thinking it had to be the Pink Floyd number. But wait! The day is not done.
I begin my journey back to where I came, with one less car. (given to my mother to replace her gas guzzling Caddy. I will opt for the red line metro in my new life.)
Now, to get from here to there, i opted for the bus. On this bus, plays the movie, "Day After Tomorrow."
Now, i won't ruin it, but suffice it to say armagedon based on not listening to al gore.
While i might have easily slept through this, mother nature found it important that I pay attention, as my bus was blown side to side by a storm. If it wasn't enough to be tested by the elements, in the back of my mind I have realized I have completed my last will and advance health directives just last night.
Being that all my affairs are in order, and I have told all those persons I love goodbye, I now have the faint assurance I may die.
As my bus arrives at the mid point of todays travels, the rains begin to let up. The movie ends 30 minutes later with the main charectors as survivors.
Now here we are Full Circle.
I am an hour away from my destination, contemplating a future I may or may not have. Settling on removing my phone charger from the wall when not in use.
On a personal matter, I want it known that just because a person isn't in your will- or rather, isn't in My Will- doesn't mean they were not loved.
Rather, I hope it symbolized they were well loved in life; and no material possession possible could ever signify that. Well, that and I own crap.
Lol! Sorry, I didn't want to leave this world humorless. But really if you're reading this, you know you're loved.
Ps. I HAVE NO INTENTION ON DYING. well, not anytime soon. I mean in a Taoist way, why plan on the inevitably unknown?
Anyways, i'm on a bus, and i have a cramp in my legs. Further! Okay. If law school is like my homework, i'll be good. An hour and a half into my bus ride, and i've answered 13 of 19 questions. The other six i need an article to refer to. ~.~
So, there, I guess I'm not even letting fear push me around. ;)
Good night my little universe. Sweet dreams.
Happy Independence day little universe.
As the 10th gets closer, I'm slowly realizing how quickly independence may slip away.
Despite the new freedom its perhaps the farthest from being able to do exactly what I Want to be doing...Maybe its just fear? Maybe its just distance? I guess I was finally starting to get comfortable.
As the 10th gets closer, I'm slowly realizing how quickly independence may slip away.
Despite the new freedom its perhaps the farthest from being able to do exactly what I Want to be doing...Maybe its just fear? Maybe its just distance? I guess I was finally starting to get comfortable.
Night two away. In good clean fun... Comes the quote of the day!
"I think I just foamed myself!"
For those interested Resolve carpet cleaner works wonders on upholstry recently assaulted by exploding coke cans in the summer heat. ;)
"I think I just foamed myself!"
For those interested Resolve carpet cleaner works wonders on upholstry recently assaulted by exploding coke cans in the summer heat. ;)
As I'm crossing the Texas state line, my mp3 randomly shuffles to "Break Away." The irony is enough to laugh at; the message, enough to think on. Now I'm years later in the same place in the same moment. Still smiling, still no regrets.
I've got soul... But i'm not a soldier.
After revealing i had not died after three days of packing and not returning messages, I am yet again mystified at my naive ability to believe in the best in people. With all evidence pointing to the contrary, I still choose to believe it will balance out.
After revealing i had not died after three days of packing and not returning messages, I am yet again mystified at my naive ability to believe in the best in people. With all evidence pointing to the contrary, I still choose to believe it will balance out.
A series of count downs and deadlines begin to replace my checklist. 3 days to move my boxes into the moving trucks. 4 until all cleaning needs to be completed and the painting finished so the carpet cleaners can come. Day following turning in of keys. 7 days til I drive my car for the last time.
Go 4 hours to nowhere only to return right where i wasn't 7 days later. The day following, i am off to Atlanta
Somehow between now and then I am hoping to see the land of entrapment's capital before I see our nations.
Go 4 hours to nowhere only to return right where i wasn't 7 days later. The day following, i am off to Atlanta
Somehow between now and then I am hoping to see the land of entrapment's capital before I see our nations.
"You're our adopted Mom until ten tonight," they say.
As I wait for the parents of my soon to be UN-adopted children to arrive from their 4th delayed flight, I wonder if it is all a ploy, and if they have left their children with me for one more night of bliss and tranquility???
Perhaps not.
I do contemplate my return to the place called "home." --To label it so seems foreign.
Sometime in the "a.m." after receiving just compensation for services, I shall return to my bed, my cat, a dozen or so boxes, and half a dozen unpacked wine bottles.
While I'm slightly tempted--knowing the necessity to either finish said wine, pass it off on friends, or discard it all together to avoid the hazards of traveling wine--I think I will pass.
It seems unreal to be leaving one place to go to another, only to leave there yet again.
Tickets have been bought. Moving trucks arranged, and now, all it seems is to begin the process of leaving....Oddly enough, I have to go back to begin it all????
"You're more Taoist than Catholic"
In a recent turn of events, I am suddenly "happy."
--Mind you, this is not euphoric, "Oh, I'm sooo in love happy:"
This is not, "Wow, I've got it ALL figured out, happy;"
Strangely it's an "after two antacids," and a running a brush through my hair--"Hmmm, even months after the way too expensive haircut, I still like how it looks" and is growing out, kinda happy.
Its the fact that I woke up this morning --like most mornings-- feeling the dread of "needing" to "do something."....Those things left undone. Those things I've forgotten. Those letters I haven't written, the bills I'm sure I've paid, but maybe I should check next month, just to make sure.....
It's the checklist in my mind, with all the boxes left unchecked.
If you have been following little universe; two things are going on. One (1) I'm not at my "home"; I'm in "the village" taking care of kids and a house that's not my own. --This is done for many reasons. (i) The extra cash flow is oh so nice and oh so needed at this time, and (ii) this usually provides me with a much needed "break" from the "real world" or at least the world that undoubtedly stresses me.
--Which brings us to the Second thing going on (2) The world I once knew, as secure and finite, is now slowly becoming the transparent blah that I should have always considered it.
For starters, I am no longer employed. Which has its ups and downs...the sole down being that I really like money.
(Oh if this unemployment thing is a surprise; well, sorry, you never asked. Like I said I'm busy with three kids, a pool, and this notion of packing,.....which brings us to what I should be talking about.)
My world is changing and the causes are simple. To begin, I was accepted to one of my top five picks of law school--Located in our nations wonderful capitol of D.C. (UNM Law eat your heart out....).
This CHANGE reflects a need to move. Which reflects a need to quit job, pack boxes, find a new place, close bank accounts, return library cards, clean carpets, turn in keys, say good-byes, suck it up, get on the road, and start a new life.
And such has been the checklist of my days. Including but not limited to a weekly checklist that I have written in excel format, giving me a day to day goal. Yesterday's goals remain largely unchecked. (Yes slightly AR, I know, but if I don't write it down it stays in my head, and turns into this acid that I am sure is eating my stomach which doctors have diagnosed as an ulcer do to this so called thing known as "stress"--in the words of Colert---Bleh, Stress? "You're dead to me")
Which leads to the lengthy writing I feel compelled to spew now. (In the words "he" might have used: verbal vomit.)
I write because I awoke this morning, like most mornings, at the ungodly hour of 7 am prior to the kids. Now I justify this Saturday morning blasphemy of a college student and their right to sleep, as preparation for Eastern Standard time. I say its 9 am on the east coast, so I should be up. But again if you're following, and can check by reading below.....I don't quite get to sleep until midnight anymore....which again I justify as 2 am EST, and perfectly acceptable as something I should get used to as a future law student.....
NONETHELESS....I am awake at 7 am with one thing on my mind. The locks on my gate needing replacing. This in short is a long story, but suffice it to say, keys are missing, and in order to have apartment deposit monies returned to me they must be replaced; ergo new locks, ergo the expense of new locks, ergo waking up at 7 am, getting on google, and price comparing locks. Once done, I am absolutely shocked that for about 15 dollars, I can stop thinking about stupid locks. I take two antacids, and begin to surf the wondrously blah thing we call the web. I check my myspace, return the one message sent to me, and contemplate yet again, the deletion of the entire thing....I let it go and check on some friends blogs.
This I find amazing. As a person that does blog, I seem engrossed this morning with complete stranger's blogs. It starts simple enough. I check a friends blog, who has a link to their friends blog, who has an interesting entry and a comment by their friends. Sure enough, one said friend, has his own blog, where he writes on companionship and the elusive quest for it. This of course makes me sigh, but makes me feel fabulous, as I realize I have what this one person wants. Not the "partner" or "companion" that we attribute to the significant other, but the person you confide in. The person you're able to bare heart and soul to, even when said person may care less. Amazingly, all the confusion I had felt was now clear to me.
A strangers blog made complete sense to me. In a Taoist way, it all made sense. All the concepts of trust, intimacy, love, all combined in this easily expressed notion of having someone I felt compelled to give my all to.
Now if this is all fuzzy and grey to you, don't try to figure it out, you'll get there in your own time.
But....for me there it was. Bamn. figured out. the "why" was answered in "Why can't I let go?"
My "Achilles heel" (as its been dubbed by a sprite of a friend) was just part of who I was and for once I didn't feel bad about it. In fact, I read the strangers blog, and hoped just a little that he would or had found what I had--in his words an emotional "nakedness" and the person he could share it with.....
Then, of course, below his blog, was a comment. a girls comments; and not just any girl, but the girl that was in love with him--and I know this because of course she had a blog. Like the others, I followed to read her poetry and saw a reflection of me.
In her words of unrequited love, were the emotions. The emotions girls seem to need to post and spew, right then and there, because, damn the consequences they needed to be said.....? Yeah.....Her blog was over a year old, and so was his for that matter, but I thought to myself. I've had those moments....and I just related.
I closed the blogs and brushed my teeth to start my morning. After brushing my hair, I caught my reflection, and without vanity, just liked what I saw. It's a good hair day.
So with the cosmo-and cosmetic world in szsygy, I gotta say, I feel happy little universe.