As of 9:39 EST

My Sorror asked:
and I said no.
I cried.
I didn't want to disappoint.
I wanted to be happy.
 She held out.
 I said no,
 I wanted something else.
 I wanted to be happy.
A different position.
My Sorror said no.
I held out,
and now....
It's official...
I'm official.

....now the GREAT news...
MY GIRLS!!!!!!!!!
AWWWWWWWWAWWWWWW
MY GIRLS!!!!!!!!!
AWWWWWWWWAWWWWWW
Oh YES, WE have GIRLS!!!!!!!!!!

May the one that brought me in, bring one other....
ONE LAST HURDLE!!!!!

That's the last mention. Only a few understand this. but yes....it's gonna happen.

ps. no need to be quite...i'm always around if you want to be loud.

A Gift From a Potential

Sometimes in life, you find a special friend;

Someone who changes your life

just by being part of it.

Someone who makes you laugh

until you can't stop;

Someone who makes you believe

that there really is good in the world.

Someone who convinces you

that there really is an unlocked door

just waiting for you to open it.

This is Forever Friendship.

Will I get what I want? is it about what i want?
Or bog just going with the flow as always?
Can i be everything to everyone and still e true to me?
I want to be what they deserve.

Naked virgin safely in bed...and for once, no stress. It's beautiful.
After many a conversations, my day has become better. I've begun to miss sweat. for those of you that know me, this is
Significant statement. i want some clarity.

Sigh. still sleepy. still have work to do. wake up call in four. i know sleep is overrated but i really want some right now.
Sleep. that is. ms. V TOTALLY came through for me tonight. as did C and reminded me what great friends are for.
Friends. hmmm. i have so few of those in this state.
Fatigue taking over. must rest.

I once had doubts, but now I am fairly certain- Death by exhaustion may occur, and I am 98% sure I shall suffer from such a

Haven't slept. have barely eaten. didn't go to any work shops. sat out most of convention. but...
I did party. i did drink goldshlogger. took pictures but no good ones of me. did pick up stuff for friends on request.
Behaved and was treated like a national board member.
Was loved by my founding moms. was shown all kinds of love by sisters. some new. some old.
Learned new strolls. couldn't shop so didn't spend money.
miss everyone. hope you'll want me back.
Have chance for quick nap. gonna take it.

Weather update from my Marine

When you see this cloud formation on your way out the door in the morning, turn around, go back  home, and climb back in bed." YOU ARE NOT GOING TO HAVE A GOOD DAY!!!

Okay. this is awful, and worse I'm wasting an entry on this. But I just found my old engagement ring. Worse. I'm thrilled.
I put it on right away. and then out of fear I put it away immediately. Am I weird? maybe I like jewelery? easy excuse. hmmm.

Took a nap. packed. and now i'm cleaning. should do my mid-term. but i'm way to tired for that. how i think i'm going to
party with the brothers when i get there is beyond me; but we've said it before-"Sleep is over rated."
Besides what kind of friend would I be if i didn't have goldshlogger shots for J and get hot girls for my Marine? Lol!

BOO ON AOL!!!!

Okay the following Entry from my phone:

Big day. perhaps great night? therefore i'm going to bed. ;)

Sucks~!!!
Why you may ask? I'll tell you, because it's missing like a WHOLE Paragraph!!! ugh. Boo. AOL SUCKS!!!!

NO Just kidding!!!
-->Some aol person is like, "Really, huh? Alright bi-atch" --and then errases all my entries....JK JK JK. No offense to any aol lovers or techies or hackers out there :)

So the entry should have described how I had this HUGE day to accomplish today--> Which I DID!!! YAY

I went to the bank. I got money for Shy-town, I gave money to soon to be pledges, I had a meeting with the new greek life advisor (who though a greek of my campus is surprisingly very optimistic), I fixed my transcript and raised my CUM GPA a whopping .02 points or something like that (boo), I went to class, then I had to come back home let my housemates baby sister into the house cause she locked herself out, then back to a supply center and pick up two very heavy projectors for this years convention-->

AND NOW!!!! I'm home, I have to pack the last of everything, and just hey? relax?

Is that possible? Is that allowed? Am I allowed one moment of complete "me" time? What about "me and someone else" time?

I'm dead serious, the last three pseudo-"dates" I've had, all three different guys (calm down, this is like spanning months, but i'm making a point-->) ===
EVERYTIME I've had a date, or had a guy over, or ANYTHING remotely personal, it's been interupted by a Sister calling, or a text message bitching, or worse, a girl actually coming over completely unannounced right in the middle of a beautiful dinner....

oh yes, it's happened. and as of tonight, it wont ever happen again.

I've got one thing left on my mind and thats stress relief.
No business. No lengthy conversations of "what does this mean" no fines, no folders, no nada.

I'm packing "cute, get me drunk, I'm in Chicago," FUN clothes.
I'm planning on NOTHING...I'm getting off this computer and not getting back on.

I'm going to open a fresh bottle of wine, prepare myself a beautiful meal, and see who calls first, if at all.

Oh....And I've decided ---> (I'm loving arrows, huh?)
I've decided, after generically talking to my co workers--(who are about 15 yrs my elders and one being a former Tri-Delt, who swears she speaks from experiance):
                        I am young.
                   I want to have fun.
               I'm not cutting myself off,
                      I don't have to.

(I'm gonna rie it out J....I know I know, but you know. OverIt said it best: "Live like theres no tommorow and you'll never need a second chance.")
+++++
On the same topic:
I defended myself to Mr. Red tie today, who swears I need to "pick one guy" ===> hmmm, let me think...."says who?"

Not any of the guys I'm seeing. and the way I figure it, they're the ones that matter right after me, so..."yeah,...um,...no." When He says me. I'll consider.
When Someone says it's just you. I'll consider.

BUT: no one is banging on my door with the I love you so much speach...so yeah, again, mmmm...no.

So here's how I'll close....

You know you want it
Girl don't act like you don't want it
Girl I want it just as bad as you do
And look see I can tell from this lil vibe
You got me feeling that you dig me
Boo I'm digging you too
You wanna be one of the chosen few ?
Then gon jig up in this mother----
Maybe me and you can do it big up in this mother---
Sit you in a crib where you can chill
Don't have to move a muscle
Give you some be good now you be good
Daddy gon hustle
Come here let me Whisper in your ear
I gotta tell you something
Listening to this song kinda make a nigga want something
Did some daydreaming
Now I'm fiending like I'm on something
Girl don't hold it from me
Cause right now I'll be don strong on ya
I ain't the type to ruin your life
By running game and throwing your dreams
Get in your brain suit your game
Ease your pain and show you things
Sit you on some leather seats while blowing green
And switching lanes
Girl stop playing games let me beat it out the frame

....
Girl give me that
Girl give me that
Girl give me girl give me that there

...

Look you know you want it
Girl don't act like you don't want it
Girl you want it just as bad as I do
But check this out
You gon be wishing that you been gave me your money
By the time I finish rumbling with you
While rhymes get loose let's take this shit to the room
And you just keep yourself excited til we get to the room
Cuz I've been rocked up since I met you
I'm ready to give you the blues
Don't stunt now take off your shoes
Don't act confused you know what time it is

...

Girl give me that
Girl give me that
Girl give me girl give me that there

Big day. perhaps great night? therefore i'm going to bed. ;)

(AS) Promised

(Dedicated to no one in particuliar....just the song I'm feeling relates to my files)


I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
My scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

Drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
I'm pissed cause you came around
Why don't you just go home
Cause you channel all your pain
And I can't help you fix yourself
Your making me insane
All I can say is

I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
My scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

I tried to help you once
A kiss will only vise
I saw you going down
But you never realized
That your drowning in the water
So I offered you my hand
Compassions in my nature
Tonight is our last dance

I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
My scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

I'm drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
You shouldn't ever came around
Why don't you just go home?
Cause your drowning in the water
And I tried to grab your hand
And I left my heart open
But you didn't understand
But you didn't understand
You fix yourself

I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life
I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life

I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
My scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
My scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

Ugh! aol sucks lately. all my Aim convo's aren't coming up :-(.
So... if you're reading this and trying to figure out why i'm not getting back to you, Sorry!
Spoke to the Dentist tonight. always fun. he's due back in Sept. :)
Been cleaning up my lambda life. files and fines. end result is that new song by papa roach, Scars. i think that sums it up.
I'll post later with emphasis.
I do need to post some of my "Feelings" but to be honest they're not solidified enough in my head to really form into an entry
Mall boy wrote me today. yeah don't really know what to do about him... sometimes i think i should just make him walk around
Shirtless and be proud of my ability to pimp. lol.
But here's a "Feelin'" i'm questioning myself on... I go back and forth. Do i cut myself off? i've got boys that i know
aren't "Into me," but I find myself caught between Have fun and Have some respect for yourself. summer began today.
I'm happy. with or without them. It's just i question does it mean anything to them?
Can i hurt them? do i hurt them? could they care less? and then i catch myself... i'm far to busy, beautiful to waste the
Pretty on figuring out Your feelings.
Once upon a time i'd read a blog to figure it out or wait for a response, but the book had a point...
"If he's into you he'll make sure you know."
So there's my answer, right? not into me... but does that mean I can't love the fun? i get it. i deserve better. and i'm not
Gonna waste my time analysing or did holding my breath for what i want to hear. got that. so i guess i wait for a guy that's
Into me to let me know?
 Lol. you know maybe this book sucks. seems like you wait for the bad guys to figure out you're great, and wait for the great guys?
that's it? I'm just supposed to wait around for some prince charming to clue me in that he's into me? HA
 At least the guys "not that into me," hang with me in the meantime?
LOL--This is what happens when you read!!!!

Looking Forward to anything after 3pm Thurday!!!!!

Files and files. Blue, red, green, yellow, orange; and manilla folders galore. Such is my boxed up life as a regional officer
Packed away neatly so that a girl in Texas may take heed and perhaps succeed where I have failed, and follow where I have led.
I have 5 more days and when I return from a less than shy town I begin a new journey.
In a time such as this it always suprises me how it's not my sorrors company I want; but rather the company of my male friends
Most of my male buddies being Greek they understand my love for this organization without the emotional bias my Ladies have.
works in 6 and i still have reports to complete suitcases to pack and a mid-term to study for.
yet i'm not tired. nonetheless, my monologue will in nowhere. so perhaps it's best to end here. goodnight moon.

Well world my weekend has come and gone, and I must say It's been interesting.
Friday was dinner with mall boy... to clarify he's real cool, and apparently clingy.
Though with a girl friend he does feel the need to call, visit and invite Me over. dunno. but he's nice so why not be friends.
Sat was a night of mixed emotions. leadership within my organization has its tears and it's perks. one such perk will be
Compensated travel to the windy city this thursday.
While i created a little bit of earth shaking and heaven quaking everywhere i went, my retreat was much closer to home than
Last nights fun ended in entirety as breakfast with C's fam came all to early and had me still wiping off last nights mascara.
Nonetheless i was shown the endless love i'm always given when with family, fed well and dismissed as a kid having fun. :)

Wow, it's 730am and i'm wide awake. Oooh. So this is insignifignt to everyone but me, but I finally learned how to use the T9
feature when I'm online on my phone. Yeah... stupid but it makes typing entries like this one so much easier.
So...continuing from last night... I suppose in summation the best way to put it is "then there were two." undoubtedly the
same men I loved last summer, maintain my interest to today. I suppose a lot has changed though...
Prophet refered to it last night in an email, saying I wasn't the same girl he knew when he left. I tend to agree. As C
continuously points out, peoples wants and needs change. I guess mine have, too.
I no longer disillusion myself to believe that I could maintain priority in anyone elses life other than my own. As mentioned
in earlier entries, I'm aware that I'm second to my men's fraternity, his career, his school, his girlfriend, or his
I suppose the differance today is that i've learned to keep my eyes open and my heart a little more closed.
Last night was a perfect example. As my 20yr old Mall boy came over last night, rather than try to make the excuses as to why
I should make this boy cheat on his girlfriend, I simply dismissed his attention and let him leave... I mean aren't I the
"Other girl" to one to many?
--As always J, you were right. They each set off a trigger...Mall boy had a girl. Trigger. 3YB was an ass. Trigger...
And then there were two.
I should be stronger. I should make 2 equal 0, as each have in their own way expressed they're "Just not that into me."
I don't know why I stick around but I do have some reasons.
Reason 1: Mr. Someone is like the guy I can't have... so, naturally I want him. Besides, he's intelligent, sexy, and does just
the right things at exactly the right times. End result; me traveling across the city or further on his phone call. :)
Reason 2: Him. Now this one is harder. Why? Perhaps, because I know I can do better. But, you know what it is? HE is my
Security blanket. HE is my unfailing ear to problems, HE is the guy that kisses my tears away and finds my grey sweatpants and
no make up look beautiful. Lol. HE amazes me. And when we're not fighting, aka when I'm not pushing for a commitment, HE makes
me feel like Wow. -and you know, that's pretty amazing as we haven't slept together.
Lol! I know, (4 and 3) the final frontier has still yet to be explored. :)
Reason 3: All me. I tell myself this is okay because I'm gone in a year. One more year-and I can spend it alone or fighting
off 20yr old Mall boys or I can spend it with a man that makes my blood boil everytime I'm with him... although I'll say again
I value his insight and intelligence and love our talks- verbal or through these entries.
OTHERWISE, there is Him. while magnetic in His own way, He draws me like my favorite pair of jeans. A good fit. makes me feel
sexy, and I can be at home and comfortable or at a club waiting for 3am to be tossed off at the side of the bed.
SO...J, Prophet, others, thats why I stay. Give me a year. Till then maybe I'll trigger one of them. Lol. maybe this entry
just did. :) I hope not, the weekend and the summer have only just begun.
Wait. On a serious moral note- I really don't like it this way. that's why I got rid of the others. and again, no I don't
sleep around. totally my choice to do so but i don't. again, not that type of girl.
Truth be told, should either of this guys tell me for one second that it bothered them, and were willing to make a commitment
to me, I'd leave the other. But i honestly think they both are content to not have to deal with that. Maybe one day I'll be
proven wrong. - I guess, thats the day I'm waiting for. :)
Okay. enough of the soap. Mr. Marine, glad you're able to check in. Miss you still. Denver. make time :-P
J, the 2nd? I want to go out.
Lets all hope i'm in Chicago next weekend. :) so i'm gonna pack.

Retiring to bed dramatically early...head aches. to answer your call J, mall boy is now out of the picture. you had perfect
timing, and I suppose his insecurities couldn't handle the fact that another boy called me. oh well. i'm sure his girlfriend
will be glad that are evening ended in dinner without desert.
Prophet-Where ever you are, my best wishes are with you. enjoy your "Classified" locations.
I'd type more but migraine is killing me

The last of my duties as a presiding officer are coming to an end. Those Sorrors who have walked the burning sands stand by my
side now. I make choices of excellance and still don't apologize. I hope one day they understand it really is out of love.
In other news, good luck with Bio my Marine. (BIG SCARY TEST)
C is losing sleep. but learning what we all did to survive,"Sleep is over rated."
J. i miss you. more than you know. hope school is doing well. what do you think about picking me up on the 2nd? :)
Mr. Someone--Will you live in my mind forever? just curious, because if so, i think i might have to start charging rent.
JM was on tonight. but i missed it and will have to get the download. I'm hoping to do either the warped tour or DMB.
ACTUALLY- if your my friends. can ya'll make me Cd's. i'm musically deprived right now. if you need my address or wont see me
...well ask or be cool and amaze me with your detective skills.
Again all stalkers need not apply :)
Okay... work in 5 hours. goodnight moon.

from my *u-hem* 15 year old boyfriend

>*a girls first time*

     (Assume you are a girl if you are a boy)

It's your first time. As you lie back your

muscles tighten. You put him

off for a while searching for an excuse, but he

;refuses to be swayed as he

approaches you. He asks if you're afraid and you

shake your head bravely.

He has had more experience, but it's the first

time his finger has found

the right place. He probes deeply and you shiver;

your body tenses; but

he's gentle like he promised he'd be. He looks

deeply within your eyes

and tells you to trust him - he's done this many

times before. His cool

smile relaxes you and you open wider to give him

;more room for an easy

entrance.You begin to plead and beg him to hurry,

but he slowly takes his

time, wanting to cause you as little pain as

possible. As he presses

;closer, going deeper, you feel the tissue give

way; pain surges throughout

your body and you feel the slight trickle of

blood as he continues. He

looks at you concerned and asks you if it's too

painful.Your eyes are

filled with tears but you shake your head and nod

for him to go on. He

begins going in and out with skill but you are

now too numb to feel him

within you. After a few moments, you feel

something bursting within you and

he pulls it out of you, you lay panting, glad to

have it over. He looks

at you and smiling warmly, tells you, with a

chuckle; that you have been

his most stubborn yet most rewarding experience.

You smile and thank your

dentist. After all,it was your first time to have

a tooth pulled.

Naughty, Naughty!

What were you thinkin' ?

PERVERT

I know what you were thinking!

To C---

I know you're tired, kid, but you'll do fine--promise. love me

an update... that guy that was an ass... who made me flashback to what asses men can be... he apologised. he said he was
I know you want to break his arms J, but be content he won't ever lay a hand on me again.
Speaking of which, I started boxing again.
School. work. life heureashdr by the day.
sometimes i wish it was with someone or he could feel amazing and happy i am... but i am okay and happy with me too. :)
Lol. just as i write... HE IM's and shows me how good i could feel in someones arms... sigh
If only He was into me...

Home at last in bed and reminicent. Austin reminded me in 15 minutes what I've wanted for the past year.
While I'm fortunate to have the men i love in my life. if even for a moment. i know i share. with work. with fraternities.
with other women. the girl friends. school work etc. always something. but i have always been good about taking what i can...
Except now-Post book- i just know i can't lie myself into thinking he's into me.
Nonetheless, i'm happy with the men while they are busybodies make time to be my friends. J who's love in unwavering and is
Always willing to pick me up. yeah. he's got a girl. my marine zim even though sick. writes me to say hey. yeah. miles of
Distance. and there's so many more. and then there's the guys who by now might know i still in weak for them.
All and all. while they might not be into me. they do know me. and i love them. so maybe one day right... i'll get a guy thats
"Into me." until then single fun is fun

Well with slight annoyance i have located my i.d. in a plastic bag amidst trash. in the car the entire time. how peachy...
But again, good times were had. boys were met. my date was gorgeous. no hangover. yeah. :) no loss.

6th street in Austin without an ID.
can say i have had better times, but... can also say I've had worse.
All and all my Austin date deserted me at my request and I ended up attracting more guys than I could handle. By the time Austin came back, I had a
nice GI caressing my back, buying me a drink and trying to steal a kiss. :)
Not to be unclassy himself, Austin backed away, called my cellphone and told me he'd be waiting... so I ditched GI and was happy to find my way to Austin.
We talked in the hotels' hallway of his plans to impress me tomorrow.
lol. we shall see.
He has already failed the "He's into me" test.. .
I mean He did ditch me--
Yes I know, how unfair, it was at my request--but while at my request,  we have learned that if he's "into you," no amount of persuasion could have convinced Mr. Austin to abandon a hot sexy thing like myself in a strange city --which every other man wanted me.
(By the way--That was not conceit, that was observation)
I've never felt so desired on such "off" circumstances. lol.
Well anywho, nice pick me ups all around on a pretty down night.
just goes to show...I'm worth it.
Oh. if you couldn't tell, I finished the book,"He's just not that into you."
--No real revelations but definately reiterations...
Like "I'm worth pursuing. Really I am. "
Expect a list soon of other standards I'll be reiterating... until then the black cocktail dress looked fabulous...
Not gonna waste the pretty.

Well. i have packed and unpacked and packed again. if It's not in the suitcase i guess it aint coming
If anything i can buy it when i get there right
Right. okay miss me bunches...

The curse of Malibu Barbie

It's official: I'm freaking out.
I'm working on my second glass of wine...
I have a suitcase packed, and I have the horrid feeling I'm missing EVERYTHING that's important.

I have RSVP'd myself and my date and all is in order. I have printed out my itinerary and have verified all my rides to and from terminals.

I still need earings, and to call in late to work on Monday, but what on Earth could I be missing that makes me feel so horrified?

Well, in reality it's the idea of rejection.
Knowing no matter how beautiful I may look, no matter what I pack, it wont be anything or enough in comparison to the accomplishments of the family that surrounds me.

A sad reality, but I am determined to hold my own this time. I'm 23 for Christ sake. I can handle a wedding. Hell, I even got a date in another state. Do you know how hard that is?

In different news, it's C's mom's Birthday. I'd make a big deal out of it, but despite my love for him and his family, it's still not my place. So, I'll drop off her gift, some homemade salsa, and call it a night tonight.

hmmmm....no....bad thought, better left unattended to. Besides, I have shopping to do!!!!!

ugh....damn earings from hell.

well, i should run over to the mall. damn that dress....

Some light humor from my step mom

Subject: FW: REQUESTING A RAISE

I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the
following reasons:

I do physical labor.
I work at great depths.
I plunge head first into everything I do.
I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
I work in a damp environment.
I don't get paid overtime.
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
I work in high temperatures.
My work exposes me to contagious diseases.


Dear Penis:

After assessing your request, and considering the
arguments you have raised, the administration rejects
your request for the following reasons:

You do not work 8 hours straight.
You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods.
You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
You do not stay in your designated area and are often found visiting other locations.

You lack initiative -- you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.
You will retire well before you are 65.
You are unable to work double shifts.
You sometimes leave your designated work before you have completed the assigned task.
And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering, and exiting, the workplace
carrying two suspicious looking bags.

Sincerely,
The Management

So maybe all guys aren't predatory. Maybe not all guys aren't unreliable. Not that I wasn't prepared to declare both with
minor exception 5 minutes ago--But, leave it to a decent guy to prove me wrong and provide me escort while I visit the capital
city of Texas and see my cousin married. Truly shocking. and all and all a pretty great guy. Tall, dark, and handsome
compliments my dress so well. Lol. Well, all and all uplifting. Other angels include my Marine in Wyoming who simply wanted to
make me laugh. and Tm'd me till i did. My girls- who tiredlessly pursued the perfect shoe with me.(love to my sisters in Wa.)
And ofcourse as highlight of how much i mean to others my "14 yr old boyfriend" now 15 called me "the stuff." lol. when
prompted he explained further... "The stuff. you're the cheese in a cheese sandwich.
Without you it just can't happen."
Needless to say, i'm utterly touched to be compared to cheese--in a sandwich... :)
As a solid reminder that i'm doing okay, was my hurt when He got to busy as usual to come over for dinner and meet my sisters.
As i explained to Him, i've come to expect it from Him. *SIGH* at least i still have emotions right?

Summer school has begun. and aside from my cruel awakening into summer, all and all It's going okay. friends are being
Supportive and i'm about a weekend from being back to my good old party self.
One more wedding of the summer, then the dresses can go to the closet.
Maybe i'll actually post a picture. lol. maybe not.
Time for a nap.

i know i'm quiet. but i'm doing better now. thanks for the calls, text, or IM's. it means a lot. luv you, me.

I'm a strong believer in a girls ability to say No. For the first time in a long time I was reminded of a scary reality that
sometimes it just doesn't matter.
I've never held a moment in such pain. I'm suddenly so filled with appreciation for Someone as he slept on a couch just 24
hours before a lesser would try -too forcefully- to stay in my bed. *Sigh* I know i had the right to tell him to leave.
I know he was just probably drunk and didn't get it when i reiterated No...But the girl from a year ago is saying the same
lines from then to justify acceptance of yet another unchangeable situation. "It could have been worse.,""He could have hurt
hurt you,""Its over now so just pretend like you're not scared," -The woman i am today is ready to kick that girls ass. My ex
had no right then, this guy had no right tonight.
You live you learn. you take self defence.
In a simple text the ass wrote: "U suck." hmmm. and here i thought it was guys that tried to force girls into unwanted
behavior were the ones that "sucked."--You know if the ass hadn't wrote that i might had thought it was me... but no.
Just inner tuition trying to protect me.
I keep reminding myself. they're not all bad. after all, just last night proved there is at least one decent man

Wow. 3 men online. and i'm sacred to talk to all three. hmmm. well. no time like the present to get over that. ;-)
Okay. hmmm. all is quiet tonight. well. can't say i didn't try. the mysteries of the illuminate await. ps. i'm totally digging
Angels and Demons by Dan Brown.

Only in EP could the following be so cute: Nel pastel. Todo dumb. and Este way.
My trip has been successful thus far as I have recieved enough cash flow to counter my expenses to come down. In particular,
my mothers generous gift purchase of "The Ugliest Dress." But once on she too agreed "That's it." and it had to be bought.
As my #3 said, "It's pretty good when you can make an ugly dress look awesome."
Which speaking of, HAPPY BIRTHDAY P!!! My favorite 3 in the whole world. :)
Yawn. i'm up way to early on my "Vacation." --prophet wrote from overseas. being in the Navy he's confined to his sub in the
Atlantic. boo. very sad. he wanted the update. So per request...HE and I had "the talk." yeah. I'm pending the outcome upon
my arrival. Will I or won't I have a serious relationship. Since it depends on Him, I'm say there are 9:10 odds on me staying single. meaning Miss Me will be riding out my last adventures of summer and perhaps retire into the sunset with a good book
And contentment that "I still got it."
Sound slightly depressing? well, perhaps. However, I think I have hit a point in which respect for self has become far more
Crucial then proving i have plans on a saturday evening. maybe i'm getting old. maybe i'm growing up. who knows maybe this is
just down time I've been needing? all i know is that i have the easiest year of my life coming up. money will be flowing in,
school will be a breeze, lambda-ness will only obligate me to the extent of writing a check...Yeah, all and all, a good year
lies ahead. The only thing that lays unsettled is the question of being chill with someone or being chill alone. either way,
I'm looking forward to it.
now i shall relax to enjoy more of this time "Away."